Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or associated characters.. Marvel does.
A/N: These are really just a bunch of connected one-shots, not a story. I'll upload them whenever I think of one.
Chapter two - admiration
She stands there, and the fire extends out as far as the eye can see. The universe is reduced to nothing in the face of that fire, and then reborn. If you asked her, she would tell you that it isn't a place or a vision, but a feeling. The feeling of the being the last hope of the last battle and knowing what to do. They say that if you watch too long, the image of the dancing fire will be burned into your eyes forever. I don't normally put too much stock in "They say"s but this one sounds reasonable.
Some people envy her for being the White Phoenix of the crown, but I don't. It's not that I don't enjoy my work here as a phoenix in the white hot room, but I don't believe I could be so fused with the Phoenix force and maintain my sanity. It's still so strange to me. Existing, but not being alive. Not living, but not dead either. Here, we simply are.
She doesn't visit me as often anymore, but I find it impossible to be snarky as far as she's concerned. Some of the other hosts, my teachers, told me the sort of things that she went through. She doesn't want pity though, and will only say that she did what she had to do. I don't think I will ever have the strength to do the things she has had to do. She is so kind. She radiates caring like the glow about the moon. As long as you don't hurt someone she cares about, anyways.
I think she knows that there are some that envy her power and want to steal her position, but she's confident in her own abilities and doesn't fear them.
"Thinking about me, are you?" Her voice startles me. I missed her approach while I was lost in my thoughts.
"How could you tell? I'm not leaking thoughts am I?"
"No, you're fine. It was just a guess. You were watching the fire for a while."
"I was just thinking that you were right."
"About what?" She smiles, as if she hasn't already figured it out.
"You were right that I could handle being here."
"I knew you would be, I knew it from the moment I saw you. That's why I chose you."
"You chose me? Do you choose all the hosts?"
"No, I don't chose all the hosts. Some people seem to end up here based on omega-mutant status alone." She grimaces a little, and I know immediately who she's talking about.
"Quire?"
"Quire," She nods. "So far he hasn't shown any hint of his... liveliness... but his position as a host still worries me."
"I'm sure it'll be alright. You're here. After all."
She smiles at that, and I wonder, really, how she can still smile after all that she's seen, all that she's been through. I accept now, that this isn't a dream. I'm determined to make the best of it, and that means being here for Jean.