Chapter 2
Dean found himself nervously chewing on a pencil as he waited for Psych 101 to start on Wednesday morning. Kevin was already there when he had slipped in just in time, taking the seat he had last time. He had quirked a grin at Charlie and Blue Eyes, but other than that, he had not said a word. This class was taking up more head time than he ever thought it would.
"Morning!" Chuck began, eyes sparkling. A stronger greeting ran back to him and he sat cross legged atop the desk in the front of the room.
He lectured for an hour about several well-known psychologists and why people cared about what they said. Dean took notes, but found himself inspecting the back of the head of Blue Eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans today.
Chuck wound down his discussion and gave the class a knowing grin.
"Bet you are all wondering about your bondmate's, right?" He nodded, seeing people grin or look down uncomfortably.
"The purpose of demonstrating how quickly bonds can be formed are important in life. How we meet people is random. What happens when we meet is...well, that's what we are pushing. We are bonding in fast forward. How many of you do not know the name of your bondmate?"
Dean lifted his hand, seeing about half the class did the same, including Blue Eyes.
"Do you have a name you are already calling them?"
Dean glared at the professor. This guy was really pissing him off. This was all such mind-game bullshit.
"Today we make it a lot more interesting. Everyone take a folded paper from my bowl. Do not open it."
Chuck paced back each row, Dean sighing heavily as he took a paper from the big glass fish bowl.
"These are powerful statements. Your assignment is to say them to your bondmate. Today in line and then three to five times this week. No class on Friday, by the way, I have an appointment."
Dean groaned. They were lining up again. At least this would be the last of this bullshit for the week and he could sleep in on Friday morning.
"I know you are anxious to meet your bondmate again," Chuck grinned, knowingly, "so go ahead and line up exactly the same as on Monday. No talking yet."
"This is bullshit," Dean muttered.
Kevin quirked a grin at him. They walked to the front of the room, shuffling until all were standing as they were on Monday.
Blue Eyes gave Dean a small smile and Dean sighed. He did not need this bullshit. He didn't let people in. He just didn't.
"I will warn you, the phrases you have to say are powerful and most likely will be a little awkward to say. Say them anyway. Do your best to mean it. Make eye contact. Today we will finish the bond between you and your bondmate. How strong are you bonded already?"
Dean tried not to roll his eyes. Blue Eyes look dubious.
"What if I suggested moving the line again and changing partners?" Chuck asked.
Dean was immediately annoyed at the instant panic that flared in him. Even Blue Eyes looked slightly startled with the suggestion.
"Don't worry," Chuck laughed. "I wouldn't do that. Truth be told, your bond is already formed. Today's exercise will make it permanent. So, make room on your lists of friends, because this will be a moment you always remember. There are three steps to today's exercise. I want you to write about your experience and submit them by 8pm on Friday. Here we go!"
Dean rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. Why was this messing with his head so much? He felt nervous and fidgety. Blue Eyes eyebrows were raised slightly in question. Great, he must look like a freakin basket-case.
"Those of you in the line that has not moved, step forward and take your bondmate by the hand."
'Come on!' Dean screamed at the douchebag in his head. 'This is friggin ridiculous.'
Blue Eyes was beet red. Dean huffed a breath, following suit as everyone else had taken the first step. He stepped forward, mouth screwed up in displeasure and eyed his bondmate who was looking slightly panicky himself. He had not raised a hand for him to take, so Dean leaned over slightly and snagged a hand that hung by his side. It was cold. Dean snorted a laugh. This dude was just as freaked out as he was. Dean let go, wiping his own sweaty hand off on his jeans and took the hand again more firmly. Blue Eyes blew a breath out and Dean looked at Chuck to avoid eye contact. Everything in his body buzzed with thoughts of panic and running.
"Open your papers and say the statement written on your paper into your bondmate's eyes. Keep your hands held until I tell you we are done. Ready, set, go!"
Dean flipped his paper open and choked. He openly glared at Chuck and refolded the paper. Blue Eye's hand went tense in his, making Dean look at him. He was reading the piece of paper in his hand with a look of horror. They found each other's eyes. Both looked simultaneously horrified and dejected by the other. Dean cleared his throat but his hand holding the paper dropped to his side. He couldn't do it. This was just so stupid.
Blue Eyes looked at his paper again, seeing that Dean was not willing to say his. He closed his eyes and shoved the paper in his pocket.
'What the fuck is on his paper? It can't be as bad as mine! Fuck this shit.'
Blue Eyes was truly struggling. He tried to look at Dean but his eyes skipped away quickly. Dean felt bad for the guy. Without even thinking, he squeezed his hand gently.
Blue Eyes locked eyes with him immediately. His mouth opened, closed and he bit his lip, shaking his head slightly. Dean raised his eyebrows in question. People around them were done. Dean glanced at Professor Chuck, seeing his eyes were curiously watching them, along with a few near them.
"Eyes only on your bondmate," Chuck reminded kindly.
Blue Eyes squeezed his hand back, looked into his eyes and said, "I love you."
'Fuck!' Dean almost staggered back. It was like daggers and a warm embrace at the same time. His mouth went dry and he knew it was hanging open. Blue Eyes shrugged, biting his lip, looking like he wanted to say, 'this wasn't my idea!'
Dean took a deep breath and said the words written on the paper. "I love you."
It was like unloading a pile of bricks off his chest and then reloading his insides with concrete.
Blue Eyes flinched and his eyes darted to the ground. Dean recognized the look. Maybe this guy could relate to where Dean was coming from.
"It's just a stupid assignment," Dean whispered, leaning closer until those blue eyes found his again.
"Right," he said back, low and gravely. Dean straightened up and realized Chuck was talking and he had no clue what the dick was going on about.
"-even when those words are profound, right? Now, step two, two minute eye stare. Go."
Dean was chaos on the inside. This professor had no idea what he was fucking with. Dean treated those words with respect. Not something to be dished out randomly or experimented with. And have them said to him empty from some stranger... But it didn't quite feel that way. His mate was struggling. With his free hand he tugged at his shirt collar. Sweat started making his hair damp on his forehead. Their hands were sweaty and Dean wanted to wipe his hand off really bad. But his mate was actually looking pale.
"Hey," Dean whispered, tugging his hand gently to pull him out of whatever hell his mind was so obviously going through.
Blue Eyes took a deep breath, giving him a weak, apologetic smile and attempted to pull himself together.
"Times up!" Chuck chimed. "The final step is to introduce yourselves. Names only. Then you are free to go. Don't forget!" He grinned widely, "you need to find your bondmate over the next few days and repeat the phrase 3 to 5 times to them. You can carry on with your new relationship however you and your bondmate see fit. I want a detailed report of each exercise and thoughts about the exercise by 8pm Friday." The professor put his hands on his hips as if to say 'job well done!' "Now you can let your hands go and greet each other briefly, then you are dismissed."
Blue Eyes snatched his hand back, wiping it on his jeans, Dean following suit.
They dodged glances briefly and Dean decided he had better get this shit over with before his head exploded or his partner puked.
"I'm Dean. Dean Winchester," he said roughly.
Blue Eyes nodded, still looking embarrassed and unsure of himself. "Nice to meet you, Dean. My name is Castiel. Novak."
Dean was not sure how to compute the new information. 'Castiel? What kind of name was that?'
"Well, I never woulda guessed that was your name," he smiled lamely.
Castiel stammered slightly, "sorry about the..." He waved a hand floundering.
"Nah, man. This guys a dick. I mean...he's fuckin' with people's heads."
Castiel nodded, relaxing. "I guess...I guess I will see you around. Dean."
Dean grinned, watching as Castiel darted back to his desk for his backpack. Yeah, great. He'd see him around so he could just nonchalantly waltz up to him and say ' love you'. What the actual fuck?
Dean tensed up again as he saw Professor Chuck approach Castiel at his desk.
"Did you gain a lot from the exercise?" Chuck asked excitedly. "You seemed quite effected by it!"
Dean's hackles were raised and he found himself striding forward, jaw locked and hands in fists approaching the two.
"Leave him alone," Dean practically growled. "You might be having fun with your games, but some of us have real baggage to deal with."
Chuck's jaw had dropped in a bit of surprise and he crossed his arms over his chest, starting to nod along with Dean. "And this exercise was challenging for you as well?"
Dean wanted to incinerate the asshat on the spot. He was not asking out of concern. He was asking because he found them interesting.
Castiel had frozen in collecting his backpack, eyes going between the two.
"You might think this shit is fun," Dean said, stepping closer to Chuck and Chuck finally becoming aware that Dean was not just 'effected' but in reality quite pissed, "but for some of us, bonding and spouting 'I love you's is way outta line. Fuckin' with people's heads is-"
"Dean," Castiel said, his hand landing softly on Dean's arm, his eyes and face pleading something from him.
Dean snapped his mouth shut and glared back at the professor.
"If you want to talk about it," Chuck offered, taking a step back.
"Fuck that." Dean took his bag from Kevin's offering hand and he slung it onto his shoulder, holding his arm out for Castiel to lead the way out of the room.
Chuck looked between the two with open fascination on his face, but was smart enough not to speak again.
They left the room. Stepping into the bustling hallway was like stepping into another world. The suffocating pressure of the room being left behind. Cool air greeted his heated up cheeks and he drug a breath in as he walked quickly away from the room. He found himself outside the building, his hand still pressed lightly to the small of Castiel's back.
"Dean," Castiel interrupted his borage of ranting thoughts, "I'm okay."
"What?" Dean snapped, looking around and dropping his hand awkwardly. "Sorry."
Castiel smiled, looking down at the ground. "No, don't be. That professor seems entirely too willing to experiment with his students. He makes me...uncomfortable."
"Chuck is a dick," Dean spat simply. "Don't let him get to ya. He has absolutely no common sense."
Castiel smiled, nodding. "Thank you...for getting me out of there."
"Yeah," Dean said, feeling suddenly annoyed with himself for maybe overreacting. Weariness suddenly enveloped him and he wondered how he would possibly make it through the rest of his day.
The two exchanged awkward looks and Dean cleared his throat. "Guess I'll see ya around."
Castiel hesitated, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "May I have your number? In case I need to...do my homework?"
Dean gave those blue eyes a secure hold with his own. The thought of that gravely voice in his ear telling him he loved him made a cascade of ice run down his spine and flare back up in flames. "You do not have to do anything else for that idiot."
"But," Castiel's brow knitted and his head tipped to the side, "I'm supposed to say that 3 more times."
Dean could see the discomfort written in every line of his face. "Just fake it, Cas."
"That would be...oh, I see. Yes, that's fine," Castiel said in a rush. His cheeks blushed a husky pink as he tucked the phone away.
Dean pulled his phone out, unlocking it. "What's your number, man?"
Castiel looked puzzled.
"Ya know, in case you need counseling later or something. I mean, I'm gonna need like 5 shrinks to unfuck the mess in MY head," Dean grinned.
Castiel followed the lame joke a beat late, but grinned a second later. "Yes. That was...unexpected."
"Unexpected?" Dean laughed. This guy was stiff. Stiff jointed in his movements, stiff speech and stiff expressions. But there was so much more in those ocean blue eyes. So much depth. Dean felt like there was so much more to be had. 'Had? Not had...explored? No...discovered? Shit. It all sounds so gay.' "Unexpected is finding a used condom in your dorm hallway. This shit is so far out in left field no one could even warn ya about it. Got plenty of warnings about not leaving my drinks unattended and no means no, and lock your doors. But no one ever warned me my professor might mentally scar me the first week of school just for shits and giggles."
Castiel chuckled low, his face softening into a grin. Dean immediately felt his own muscles relax again. "It was...yeah. Something."
"Look man, experiment or whatever, that guy did a number on your head and mine in there."
Castiel nodded slowly. "Yes. He did." Castiel pulled his phone out again and they exchanged numbers.
Dean: Chuck is a prick.
Castiel looked up at Dean and laughed after reading the text. "I guess I'll see you...later."
"Yeah," Dean nodded, stepping backwards. He shoved the phone in his pocket and headed for the blessed simplicity of Algebra class.
Twenty minutes into class, Dean felt his phone buzz.
Cas: Did you know know that the term debit comes from the Latin term 'debent dare', meaning 'to give'?
Dean: Are you an accounting student or are you taking Latin?
Cas: Accounting
Cas: I do better with numbers than people.
Dean: Mechanical Engineering, specifically cars and Diesel engines. Yeah, I do better with cars than people.
Dean found a shady spot under a tree on one of the lawns in front of the Sciences building. It was late August and it had been a hot day. It had been a long day. He let his head rest against the rough bark of the tree and his eyes slid shut. It was hot and he could feel his shirt sticking to him. He wished he had stopped for a cold drink, but he wasn't moving now.
His mind buzzed with flitting thoughts of upcoming assignments due, topics from class the past three days, but finally his thoughts landed squarely on what he had been avoiding. Castiel. Those piercing blue eyes. His hand warm, clammy, nervous in his. The looks of pain, shock, embarrassment that seemed to pass through his expressive eyes when he had told him that stupid phrase. I love you. It was foreign for him to say to anyone. Even Sam sometimes. He just didn't grow up with that. It was just an assignment. It meant nothing. Maybe that's why it bothered him so much. But why did it hit Castiel so hard? He obviously had some issues. He seemed like a nice guy. Nerdy. But there was so much more to him.
Dean opened his eyes, squinting in the setting sun. He wanted to know him better. He wanted to know what all those expressions on his face had been for and about. What had made him laugh that time?
Dean rubbed his hands down his jeans and sat forward, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"Hey, Dean," Kevin said, sitting on the nearby bench.
"Hey."
"What are you doing?" Kevin dropped his messenger bag to the grass, leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees. He had been smart enough to wear shorts today, unlike Dean.
"Nothing. Why?"
"Just checking on you. Psych class had you freakin' this morning, so..."
"I wasn't freakin. I was...that was...did that bullshit experiment bother you?"
Kevin shrugged. "Only part that bothers me is I have to find Fergus MacLeod and tell him-" he pulled the slip of paper out of his pocket, "'You are a good leader' 5 more times this week."
"You are a good leader. Why didn't I get that one? I have to tell my guy 'I love you'.
"Huh," Kevin said, sounding not nearly as horrified as Dean had categorized the statement.
"What does MacLeod say to you?" Dean asked, suddenly needing to know what the others had gone through.
"He says, "You are very smart," Kevin mocked in a low British accent.
"Jesus," Dean laughed. "You guys got it easy."
"Easy? The whole thing was meant to be easy Dean. It was like a get-to-know-you warm up. It's no big deal."
Dean's jaw had dropped with shock but he quickly snapped it shut. 'This was easy. So act like it was easy.'
"What did Castiel say to you?" Kevin asked.
"Nothing, it's dumb," Dean slouched against the tree again.
"Oh, come on. What did he say?"
"He said, 'I love you'."
"Wait..." A shitty smile cracked across Kevin's face. "You both told each other that you love each other?"
"We did the assignment Kevin," Dean said, rubbing his forehead.
"That's...man, that's kinda messed up."
Dean sighed a breath of relief, looking at Kevin again. "Right?!" Dean spilled, hands flailing.
"Chill man! It's just an experiment!" Kevin laughed, "But no wonder you two looked like you were freaking out. Castiel Novak of all people! He's more emotionally constipated than you. Maybe. Actually, now that I think about it, it's kinda funny that the two of you got put together."
Dean's head buzzed with annoyance and questions. "Shut up, Kevin. How do you know Castiel?"
Kevin's thin black brows quirked in a questioning look as his shiny black eyes took notice to something in Dean. "Dude, you got a thing for Castiel?"
"No!" Dean blurted.
Kevin nodded and rubbed a hand over his mouth. "I met Castiel at the tutoring center. He's a year ahead of us and he's in accounting or something. He's a freaking genius at math."
"Math," Dean murmured aloud. Figures, he didn't need help with math. Math made sense. History was just memorizing. Science was fun. Psychology was killing him. And he suspected Cas wasn't any better at it than he was. So much for needing tutoring as an excuse. Yeah. He was looking for excuses to be near Castiel. He thunked his head back against the tree and blew out a breath. 'Don't over-think it,' he told himself.
"Oh, hey Kevin! Winchester!" Came a peppy voice, making Dean open his eyes and focus. Charlie strode towards them.
"Charlie!" They both called.
"Dean Winchester," Charlie beamed, I have to say, you're making me feel sweaty just lookin' at you in those jeans."
Dean huffed a laugh. "Thought you didn't go for my type Charlie." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.
"No seriously, it's like 95 degrees. So!" She clapped her hands, holding them under chin and giving both guys a big grin with blinky eyes. "A group of us are going swimming at the trestle a few miles off campus. You guys want to join us?"
Dean and Kevin exchanged a look and shrugged.
"Sure," Kevin said.
"Awesome!" She sang, both hands darting up in victory. "Either of you drive?"
"Yeah," Dean offered, not wanting anything to do with Kevin's tiny Honda. "I got a car that can haul bout 6 or 7 people."
"Perfect!" Charlie pulled her phone out. "I'll text you the deets."
Dean furrowed a brow. "You have my number?"
"Please! I have anyone's number that I want to have. Computer wiz, remember?"
"Huh," Dean said, trying not to let her creep him out.
"See you in twenty." She ran off and Dean looked at the text on his phone.
Charlie: 7:00 in front of Bethel Dorm. Cas will be super excited you're going :)
"Oh..." He quickly shoved the phone away. I gotta go. And I don't have swim trunks!"
"Dude! It's a creek. Wear regular shorts. Boxers. Anything but jeans!" Kevin was off and running to get ready.
Dean quickly weaved his way back to his dorm.
"Benny! Wanna go swimmin'? I'm meeting up with a bunch of people at that old trestle near Ford's farm."
Benny hopped off his bed with a big smile. "Yeah! Sounds perfect!"
Dean rifled through a drawer for decent shorts and slammed it shut. "Who brings swim trunks with them to college?"
"I do, brotha! Need a pair?"
"Yeah," Dean turned, catching a pair of blue trunks with black flames going up the legs.
They were slightly big, but better than wearing boxers. He added sneakers and a t-shirt and started putting drinks and ice in his old cooler.
They loaded the trunk with the cooler, towels, blankets and snacks and headed for Bethel Hall.