Ritsuka sat motionless on the floor. He was leaning against his bed for support; otherwise he would just fall onto the floor. His mother Misaki had just finished beating him. Ritsuka now had fresh bruises welting his porcelain skin. Blood formed a thin line running from his lips to his chin and partially down his neck. He knew he had a busted lip, and a chunk missing from the inside of his cheek. Misaki didn't know her own strength. She had slapped Ritsuka so hard she busted his lip and caused him to bite his cheek. His forehead was bleeding from where the plate she had thrown came into contact. Ritsuka's head hurt from where his mother grabbed a fist full of his hair and drug him up the steps to his room. His body was sore from hitting every step on the way up. He was pretty sure he had a sprained ankle from when his mother came running at him with the kitchen knife, and he'd tried to escape.
Escape. That was something he learned not to do. Every time he tried to run the beatings only got worse. Some days his mom would stay in her room and nothing would go wrong. Other days she would be on a rampage from the second Ritsuka walked in the door.
"Seimei...Why did you have to die...and leave me so alone..." Ritsuka said his head falling to one side. He was losing consciousness. Was he blacking out from lack of sleep? Or lack of blood? His head really did hurt.
"I can't sleep yet... I have to take care of my wounds first." Ritsuka thought.
He reached his hand out to try and grab his desk. He extended his fingers as far as they could go and tried grabbing the corner, his hand fell down in the air and he picked it back up. Since when had the desk gotten so far away? Ritsuka tried reaching again for the corner only to have his hand repeat the earlier process this time falling beside his leg limp palm upturned. Ritsuka's mouth hung open the slightest bit allowing air to come in. He was falling asleep. Fast.
Ritsuka's mind completely shut down, darkness engulfed his world. His wounds untreated for the night. Was this the first time it had happened? No. Would this be the last? No again. This had gone on for a long time. The beating; since before Seimei died. Seimei's death two months ago could not have dealt a bigger blow to Ritsuka's fragile heart. Without Seimei, Ritsuka was subject to all his mother's "Anger" and "Sadness." Seimei was Ritsuka's shield. His knight in shining armor. His guardian angel. When Seimei was alive Ritsuka didn't have to worry about what he ate. Didn't have to worry about getting up on time for school the next morning. Didn't have to question about being loved or wanted. He knew he had a safe home to return to. Well, semi safe. He knew he had a pair of warm arms welcoming him with love. Now nothing.
Ritsuka's right eye peeked open and his pupil dilated adjusting itself to the light streaming into it from his sliding glass door. Ritsuka moved his arm to cover his eyes and rub the tiredness from them. His nails were semi-long he hadn't trimmed them in a while, he kind of liked having a bit of white at the top. That way he wasn't like every other guy, with stubs for nails. The T-shirt he was wearing had short sleeves. Ritsuka pulled his arm away from his eyes, his pupils once again adjusting to the light. His beautiful purple eyes glistening in the sun. He now noticed in the morning light he had bruises around his wrists from when his mom tied him to the table when he got home yesterday. His left eye opened and shifted over to his left arm. His tail was wrapped around it while it lay beside him on the floor. His cat ears were down and flattened back against his head. His mouth was down turned into a slight frown. He laid his head back against his bed huffing as he did so. One leg was outstretched and the other bent into an upside down 'V' shape.
Ritsuka stood up his slim body slightly cold. He was wearing shorts because all his other laundry was dirty. No one had washed clothes for him in a long time. He would soon be down to his last pair of clean underwear. His left arm had a slit cut down from his shoulder to the middle of his bicep. How that got there he would never know, but there was a trail of dried blood that ran in a spiral down his arm to his wrist where it fell off. He shivered but didn't move to cover himself or try to warm his freezing flesh. He glanced over to his alarm clock on top of the head board of his bed. 7:00. He had time to shower and cover his wounds from last night before going to school which started at 8. He lived 15 minutes walking distance from the school so he just walked.
Ritsuka reached to turn the nozzle for the shower to hot. He was now in the bathroom connected to his room. The water ran and he began undressing. His clothes fell from his body and dropped to the floor barely making a noise. Ritsuka pulled the shower curtain back after adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature. He stepped in and felt a wave of warmth wash over his numb body. Why was it so cold in his house? After standing under the shower just long enough to wet his hair he began washing it and then his body. After he was done he turned off the water and pulled the curtain back. He stood there door to the bathroom open still in the tub. He cautiously placed one foot out of the tub and on to the floor, careful not to slip on the cold tile. His body glistened in the light and water dripped from his hair and ran down his body making its way to the floor. He had no towel to dry off with, but he went in his room leaving a wet trail as he made his way to his dresser to pick up the uniform he had to wear to school every day.
He was supposed to wear a winter uniform like everyone else, but his mom only bought the spring one. And for that matter she only bought one. Not 4, not 5, and not 6 like some kids, but 1. It was a boring uniform the color of his shirt white with a collar and a pocket, with a deep blue necktie that looked like a droopy bow. And a pair of khaki shorts that ended just above his knee. They also had to wear deep blue socks the color or the necktie. Ritsuka chose the mid-calf length. And black penny loafer shoes. Ritsuka normally wore his necktie around his neck and kept his shirt's collar unbuttoned. Ritsuka put his undies on and got dressed his clothes slightly sticking to him because of his wet body. He then walked back into his bathroom getting his first aid kit. He wrapped his wrists and ankle it was still hurting him. He then put some gauze on his forehead and put medical tape over it to hold it in place.
Ritsuka grabbed his furry coat and pulled it on. He then walked over to his bed and pulled on his socks and grabbed his backpack. He headed over to his door of his room and peaked his head out to look across the hall. He strained his ears to see if he could hear noises anywhere in the house. None. His mom was still sleeping in her room down stairs door closed tight.
All Ritsuka had to do was avoid the squeaky stairs and then make a mad dash for the door and he was safe for the day. Taking a deep breath and exhaling Ritsuka emerged from his room backpack strap slung over his shoulder and across his chest. He counted the steps as he went down careful to avoid steps number 3, 7, and jumping to the ground to avoid step number 13. He stood still not making any noise to see if he had woken his mother. Nothing, she was still asleep. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and made a mad dash for the door. Sliding his shoes on as fast as he could he opened the door and closed it as softly as possible. Safe. Ritsuka now made his way to school.
15 minutes later Ritsuka was at school and on his way to class. Of course a bit late. He walked into class everyone's head turned towards him. He ignored them and walked to his desk and sat down.
"Welcome to class Mr. Aoyagi-kun." His teacher Shinome said.
The class turned around and focused back on the lecture the young teacher was giving.
"Ritsuka!" Yuiko whispered.
Ritsuka glanced over to Yuiko to let her know she had been acknowledged.
"Ritsuka-kun why were you late today?" Yuiko asked worried.
"I overslept don't worry I'm fine." Ritsuka said. This class and the rest of the day passed by quickly despite the fact all Ritsuka did was stare endlessly in front of him ignoring everything around him.
He got home and poked his head in the door. Everything was quiet and his mom seemed to be still in her room. He walked to the stairs after taking off his shoes at the door. He avoided the squeaky ones and made it up to his room.
"Ritsuka!" His mother yelled.
He locked his door and pressed his back to it.
"Ritsuka! Is that you... are you home?" His mother yelled again he voice becoming louder meaning she was getting closer. Misaki pounded her fists on his door.
"Ritsuka!... Ritsuka!... I know you're in there! Ritsuka!" His mother yelled.
Ritsuka moved away from his door and fell on his bed dropping his backpack to the floor beside his bed.
His mother got tired of having no response and left. Ritsuka rolled over on his bed ears flat against his head. He felt sad and lonely. After some time his world became dark and peaceful.
"Ritsuka! Dinner is ready!" His mother yelled from the kitchen.
"I'll eat later mum I'm studying!" Ritsuka called back.
"My Ritsuka would never take studying over food! You're not my Ritsuka!" She yelled. He then heard the crashing of dishes against the wall like every other night. He momentarily wondered where they obtained all these glass plates, because it seemed his mother broke at least 4 every other night by throwing them against the wall or at himself. But it was a passing thought and Ritsuka got up to grab clean underwear to go take a bath.
Ritsuka stood clad in a long white T-shirt that went down to mid-thigh. It was cold outside. His mother had thrown him out of the house. Ritsuka's hair was still wet from the bath he had just taken and blood was running from the corner of his head where the knife Misaki had thrown hit and grazed his flesh. Ritsuka clutched the knife in his hand. The wind blew. There was snow on the ground. It was dark outside and there were a few stars in the sky, although they were hard to see due to the street light on the corner near Ritsuka's house. He had no-where to go now. He walked back to the door of the house.
"Mother? Please unlock the door...It's cold outside." Ritsuka tried.
Ritsuka knocked on the door.
"Mum? I'm really cold now...will you let me in? I promise I'll behave. I'll be a good kid." Ritsuka said his teeth chattering.
He had just barely gotten his shirt on after stepping out of the bath. He wasn't wearing any underwear nor did he have time to grab a towel to dry off even the slightest before his mother had barged in and drug him down to the kitchen after throwing a knife at him. She then proceeded to throw him out the front door.
Ritsuka's ears were flat against his head and his tail, almost frozen, was wrapped around his left thigh. It was freezing outside and being dripping wet in the pitch black 20 degree weather didn't help. Ritsuka knew he wasn't going to last long. So he tried again.
"Mum please let me in!" He tried as loud as he could. He hit the door a bit with his fist since knocking wasn't working. To Ritsuka's surprise he heard the click signifying the door had been unlocked. He tried the door knob and it opened much to his relief. Ritsuka had only been outside for 10 minutes but he felt that he was absolutely frozen to the bone. It hurt to move and his body felt numb all over, his hands were squeezing his arms and they were crossed over his chest in a desperate attempt to warm himself up. Ritsuka made it a few steps over to the couch and pulled a blanket over himself and piled up on the couch instead of the floor.
He sighed as he sat there. It wouldn't be long now. The old Ritsuka would come back to re-claim his life and he, the current Ritsuka, would fade away. Ritsuka's heart slightly raced at the thought. He didn't want to disappear. He hadn't gotten to live his life yet. He hadn't gotten to live THIS life yet. He'd only been alive for 14 years and 12 of those he couldn't remember. He knew that the other Ritsuka had gotten to live the other 12 of those years, but he wanted to live some, now that he had the chance that is. He would. Even if it meant the other Ritsuka didn't ever have a chance to return. He would do anything, anything to have a chance. But he knew everything he thought didn't matter because as long as he was here his mother wouldn't accept him. Regardless he still loved her very much. He knew that his mother didn't really want to hurt him. She couldn't control her body, yes, he had to pay the consequences for it sometimes, but he deserved it. After all, he wasn't her Ritsuka. He was just a stranger living in her house claiming to be her beloved son, Ritsuka.
Ritsuka got up after some feeling returned to most of his limbs. He kept the blanket draped around himself like a coat as he ascended the stairs to his room. Once he was in his room he worked his way to his bed and as soon as he hit the comforter he fell asleep, into a world where he had many friends and Seimei was alive and well taking care of him. A world where his dad was home more than once every three months, and his mother didn't beat him. A perfect world. A dream world. And that's all it would stay. A dream. A fabrication of the life Ritsuka wanted. So he lie there, dreaming.