Chapter 1: Soft Waves Of Change

Logan was on his way to class, still seething about the events in the lunch break, when he spotted the 'Out of order' sign on one of the girl's bathrooms. And the sign alone made his blood boil again. What nerve had she to wander around Neptune High as if this was her school? It wasn't her school, it was his school. She probably thought it was cute to simply hang out that stupid sign and do as if that was her personal P.I. office.

Oh, he knew that was where most of the people that were so deluded to go ask for her help went in order to hire Neptune High's very own Nancy Drew. He found it ridiculous but he had to admit that it indeed had some advantages there. Like having something like privacy.

And though he had no qualms whatsoever about going after her in the presence of the whole world, for their next confrontation with the lies telling, snooping betrayer Veronica Mars, he wanted privacy. They were going to have it out and set a few things straight, like her stopping to trying to wriggle her tiny but between him and Duncan, and he was fairly certain that there may be a few things said he didn't particularly wanted the whole school to hear.

They did know each other for a long time now, after all, and during those times Veronica had been privy to a lot of Logan's life the world didn't really know about him. Didn't need to know.

Grinding his teeth, Logan marched over to the bathroom and entered it swiftly, ready to ruthlessly kick out anyone but one Veronica Mars. To his slight surprise though, there was no one else present than the tiny blond that had been his friend once.

Okay, even better. He slammed the door shut and approached Veronica, who was currently cowering on the floor of the bathroom.

His steps faltered as he registered something he hadn't registered so far in his rage.

She was crying.

No, scratch that. She was sobbing. Uncontrollably and violently, so her entire body shook with her sobs.

He stopped altogether, starring at her in something that almost bordered to panic.

Shit.

He never had liked to see her cry. It had been the hardest part in making her life a living hell, hurting her to the point that her eyes watered. Not that it had been especially hard in the first few weeks. Two, three mean comments and already her eyes would swim in tears. Then though she had cut her long, silky hair and turned to bitch version Veronica Mars who cared a shit about anyone's opinion or comments and instead of tears there had been sharp-tongued and witty retorts that could be as biting and hurting as Logan's best remarks. In a way, he had been relieved to not being forced anymore to make her cry. On the other way, he had been pissed that she all of a sudden could ignore him like that.

But seeing her crying was one thing. This here was something else, a painful, heart wrenching sobbing that spoke of deep grief or pain or perhaps both. And there had only been one time he had witnessed her sobbing like that.

The night of Lilly's death.

When she had called him to tell him that Lilly had been murdered, knowing that he was out of town, and not wanting him to hear it in the radio or learning it from stupid reporters who stuck a microphone into his face to ask how and when he had learned of his late girlfriend's death and how he was feeling about that. She had been sobbing like that when she had broken the terrible news to him.

(Flashback)

"Well, well, well, Ronnie… can't say I expected your call," he answers his phone, smirking, already more than just a bit inebriated from the masses of alcohol he has downed since he had realized that things between him and Lilly are really over now. "Not that I'm complaining. Or that surprised. Always knew you wanted me Veronica Mars," he leers through the phone, not giving a damn that he's flirting with his ex-girlfriend's best friend and the ex-girlfriend of his best friend. After all it isn't as if it's the first time.

"Logan," her voice interrupts him with a heart-wrenching sob that cuts right through the blur in his head as he knows immediately that something is terribly wrong for Veronica to sound like that.

He sits up and frowns. "Veronica? What's wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?" he fires of questions, cold dread twisting up his stomach.

"Logan… Oh God… Logan…" she stumbles out, her sobbing growing heavier.

"Ronnie, please, tell me what's wrong," Logan pleads, jumping up, ready to rush to wherever she is right now and make sure she's all right.

"It's Lilly, Logan," she finally manages to say and Logan stops in confusion, the dread in his stomach turning to ice cold fear upon hearing that tone in her voice he never has heard before but instinctively recognizes anyway as something very bad.

"What?" he asks, hoping that that terrible feeling he has isn't right.

"She's… dead… Logan…" Veronica though tells him in strangled sobs. "Someone… Someone has mu… mur… murdered her…" she continues and he can feel the pain and shock in every tremble of her shaky voice.

He shakes his head.

No.

No.

That can't be true.

Lillie can't be…

No, it just can't be possible.

His Lilly, his wonderful, bright, shiny Lilly, so full of life. It just can't be that she's… is…

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Somewhere far, far away he hears Veronica calling his name rather frantically.

"No," he whispers tonelessly into the phone, shaking his head.

It isn't true. It can't be true. Not that. Not Lilly. No, no, no…

"Logan… I… I saw… I saw her… she's… gone, Logan," Veronica though says, still crying but in a slightly more firm voice. "She's really… really gone."

NO! It simply couldn't be! He had only seen her a few hours ago when she was washing a car together with Veronica. Sure, Lilly had no idea that he had cut his trip short to come back and see her, talk with her – only to realize that they were really over this time right at his first glimpse of her. No, no, no! This isn't true!

"Dad… got called out… to the… sc… scene… and I…" Veronica's voice trails off and she sniffs. "Oh God Logan, she looked so… broken," it breaks out of her.

And this time he's not able to deny the terrible truth any longer. That his beautiful Lilly is really gone. Really dead. That someone has brutally taken her from him, from life. Veronica's palpable pain is just too great to ignore it anymore, to deny it any further and his world crashes down. His knees give away and he falls into the sand of the beach he had gone to after his revelation about his relationship with Lilly.

A sob wrenches out of his throat that soon turns to a scream full of pain and blind fury. Once the scream is out of him he falls the rest of the way down into the sand where he curls himself into a tight fetal position, sobs now racking his body as they probably rack Veronica's miles away from this beach. He can still hear them over the phone with an occasional croaked whisper of his name.

Their shared grief, even if it's only over the phone, is the only consolation he receives that night. But it's enough to keep him from simply going into the water to never return from it again.

(End Flashback)

When Logan had woken up the next day, still lying on the beach in that fetal position, his phone had died down, not too surprisingly. And he was glad about it. It would spare him the calls of his family and other friends, full of pity and sympathy, telling lies about knowing how he must feel now. They knew crap. They hadn't known Lilly like he had, hadn't loved her like he had. The only ones that truly could understand were Duncan and Veronica as they were the only ones who had known and loved Lilly like he had. Each in their different way of course, but that didn't matter right now.

And those two were the only ones he wanted to see. So that was what he had done upon finally returning to Neptune. He hadn't gone home. He had doubted that the Kanes would already let him through to Duncan. And if he wanted to be honest, he needed to see Veronica more than he needed to see his best friend who was probably more devastated than either of them. After all, Lilly had been his sister. Once he faced his girlfriend's brother he would need to be strong for him, Duncan probably needing him more right now than vice versa. So he went to Veronica first to share his grief, their grief, to gather strength before he even dreamed about facing Duncan and the Kanes.

Upon seeing the distraught, miserable boy at her door, Leanne Mars had simply stood back, allowing Logan entrance without one word. He had no words for her either but had just dashed upstairs to Veronica's room where they had grieved in privacy for the rest of the day, in each other's arms or at least presence, until Keith had come back and had driven Logan home in his police cruiser so he could get through the masses of reporters already waiting in front of the Echolls' mansion.

Yeah, that had been the last and only time he had seen Veronica Mars sobbing like that and despite everything that had happened since then, his first instinct was still to rush over to her, take her into his arms and find out what pained her so much.

But he didn't. One look at her now short hair and he remembered her betrayal that let to the rift between them, remembered that this girl wasn't the Veronica Mars anymore that had once been one of his most trusted friends.

Again his hands balled to fists and he let out a laugh that sounded false and strained even to his ears. "Tz, tz, tz, Veronica, what's this? The newest act of the biggest drama queen at Neptune High? Really Veronica, I'm disappointed in you. This is so cliché."

Veronica stiffened and the sobs subsided somewhat and he could actually see how she tried to visibly pull herself together. Her body still shook though.

And she ignored him. She didn't look up at him, she had no witty comeback to offer him, nothing. And somehow, this irked him the most.

"What, Veronica? Nothing to say? No super high intelligent snarl of a comment, no over-imaginative evil scheme you want to accuse me of?" he said in his most deriding voice, eager to have her explode on him.

He knew how to deal with a furious Veronica Mars.

But instead of doing him the favor of throwing herself into a fit of rage, she tightened her arms around her knees, curling into an even tighter ball than she had already been in. "Not now, Logan," came her muffled voice, hoarse with tears.

Logan bit his lips, unsure what to do. It so wasn't fun to throw nasty things at the tiny blonde when she had no comebacks for him. Not to mention that each second he saw her like this, his desire to get to know what exactly had happened to render her to this sobbing mess grew.

Could it be that something had happened to Leanne? No, likely. Otherwise Keith would have come to tell her and as sure as hell wouldn't have let her alone. And if something would have happened to Keith she probably wouldn't be here either. She'd have run away, not to mention that then there would have been police around. But what else could bring her to sob like that?

It didn't matter.

Veronica Mars was no concern to him anymore.

He had come here to argument with her, something she clearly wasn't up to right now. So he should just leave, postponing the argument for another time.

Right.

"Do me a favor, Veronica, when you're already at it, why don't you let the place flood, huh? 'Cause I could use a couple of free days," he said flippantly and turned to leave.

"Just go the fuck away, Echolls," she mumbled in a low, defeated voice.

It stopped him dead in his tracks and he turned back to her, narrowing his eyes. Not once had she called him by his last name in all the time since their little personal war had broken out. Actually, he hadn't heard 'Echolls' pass her lips since before Lilly died. Veronica seldom referred to anyone by his last name, least alone her friends. Only when she was really and truly angry, as well something that very, very rarely was the case. And boy, she had been angry the last time she had referred to him as Echolls. But then, so had been he.

(Flashback)

"What the hell were you thinking Veronica!" Logan screams into her face.

"What did you think I'd do? Not tell my best friend that her boyfriend's cheating on her?" Veronica gives back as heatedly.

"I wasn't cheating on Lilly!" Logan protests, his arm flying away to point backwards.

"Oh yeah? So I probably was just imagining you kissing Yolanda, huh?" Veronica asks sarcastically.

"For heaven's sake, I know that this concept is probably foreign to you, but first, I was drunk…" Logan starts to point out through gritted teeth.

"And that excuses everything of course," Veronica interrupts him icily.

Logan ignores it. "Lilly set me up and most importantly: the bitch kissed me, not the other way around. If you'd had bothered to stay you'd have seen how I pushed her away. But you didn't, huh? You just assumed the worst and had nothing better to do than to run to Lilly and feed her false lies and now she has broken up with me, without giving me the slightest chance to explain myself first. God, Veronica, and I thought we were friends!"

"We are! You think I enjoyed having to tell my best friend that my other friend had been kissing another girl than his girlfriend?" Veronica flares up, her eyes shining in a mixture of hurt and anger.

"You could have first talked to me! Give me a chance to explain. I think that would have been the least you owed me as my supposedly friend!" Logan hisses.

She shakes her head. "Yeah? God, Logan, listen to you! Lilly's my best friend! You can't tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing if you had caught me kissing another guy than Duncan. You'd have gone straight to Duncan as well, without bothering to first give me a chance to explain anything! So please don't come off all angry against me now just for following the BFF rules! I didn't kiss someone I wasn't supposed to while the person I claim to love is home sick!"

Logan's eyes narrow as the anger in him he has been feeling ever since Lilly made a scene on him out of the blue and had broken up with him, welled up in hot, angry waves. "As if that's ever going to happen! Perfect, saint Veronica Mars would never do such a thing, I know that only too well, God, we often enough had to listen to the parental front rubbing it under our nose how perfectly correct and well mannered Veronica is. What do you know about passion, huh? About lust? About doing stupid things, being drunk or not? About having fun, real fun? Nothing, you know nothing! Yet here you are, judging my life as if you have any right to do so! Well, I've got some news for you, Mars, you don't! You're not my mom nor are you my girlfriend, thank God! And for what I'm concerned we're through being friends as well. So do me the favor and stay out of my business in the future, especially my relationship with Lilly!"

Veronica's eyes widen and when he can see the first shimmer of tears welling up in her big green eyes, he feels guilt starting to slowly sneak into his fury.

"Go to hell, Echolls!" she whispers in a harsh and oh so hurt voice before she turns on her heels and runs back into her house, the door slamming behind her.

For a moment he stares after her, the guilt inside him growing stronger. He knows he has hurt her… but hell, she really had no business to go rat him out to Lilly like that, without at least giving him a heads up!

Clinging to that thought, he pushes the guilt at his harsh words to her away and quickly storms off as well.

(End Flashback)

It had taken a couple of days for him to calm down enough and see that she had been right. In her place, he would have gone to Duncan first as well. He was his best friend after all. So he had gone to Veronica to apologize, surprised that she simply waved it away and herself apologized for jumping to conclusions and not giving him a chance to explain himself. Of course it had helped that he also had acknowledged that he and Lilly had been heading to an off-again of their relationship anyway, even without that stupid kiss with Yolanda. Truth was he would never have kissed Yolanda in the first place if Lilly hadn't been already such a bitch to him around that time and had opted to stay away from the party just to give him a lesson or something.

Besides, he and Lilly often had big fights and broke things off to soon get back together again. It was the way they worked.

Only this time, before they had a chance to get back together, she had been killed.

And everything fucked up.

Most of all though his and Veronica's friendship.

Sometimes he had wondered why Veronica had never fallen back to call him Echolls. Heaven knew that he had put her through hell this past year, not that she hadn't deserved it. He had said way more mean things to her than back then. Yet, not once had she called him Echolls. Until now.

And fuck, it hurt. Hurt a lot. More than it should be. Because she may not be the same Veronica Mars as she had been but deep down he knew that for her to call him Echolls meant that this time, he really had gone too far. Had really and truly hurt her, badly, enough for her to finally react with the hate he had thought he had wanted to evoke in her.

Now though he wasn't so sure about that anymore, as guilt and an incredible sadness engulfed him, not quite putting out the fire of his rage – but sure diminishing it.

His eyes rested on her, taking in that the trembles in her body had died down by now as well. She was still curled up tightly though and there may be no sobs and shaking anymore, but he could still feel her pain, sadness. And all of a sudden, he found himself in an inner war, where the angry side of him screamed to him to get the hell out of there while a more compassionate side of him he had thought had died with Lilly and the betrayal of Veronica screamed to him to go to her and forget what had happened in the past year, if just for this small moment in time.

Where the hell was Fennel? He was supposed to be Veronica's newest BFF after all, he should be here right now and take care of his hurting friend, keeping people away from seeing her like that. Instead of going after Logan like he had he should rather have been here and consoling Veronica. Ha, the annoying guy sure had talked big… but it was obvious that he seriously lacked in action.

Forcing Logan to stand here, not knowing to which instinct he should give in.

For a moment he closed his eyes, opening them again when he heard a small sound coming from the heap on the floor. This time he moved before his brain kicked in and slowly walked over to her, crouching down in front of her. Eve more slowly, he reached out with his arm to touch her lightly on her arm. "What happened, Ronnie?" he asked softly, his voice holding no venom for the first time in what seemed like forever to him while talking to Veronica Mars.

Whatever he had halfway counted on, expected, it hadn't been the reaction Veronica showed in the end. There was a shudder going through her body and abruptly she scrambled on her feet, shying away from his touch.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed, her eyes glaring at him.

Somewhat shocked, Logan stared at her with a frown, still from the crouched position on the floor he had been in. He was hurt by the way she had shied away from him. Yeah, he had been nasty to her, even going so far as blowing out her headlights with a crowbar. But surely she had to know that no matter how angry, and yeah, hurt he was, he'd never, ever would hurt her physically. Right now though, he was more worried over exactly that reaction than anything. This wasn't normal for Veronica Mars – neither version of her.

"Ronnie?" he whispered.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, her face paling. "Logan…" she murmured, as just growing aware that he was still here, right in front of her. "I… I'm sorry… I didn't…" she shook her head as if to shake away a fog in her head.

Slowly, Logan rose to his feet, never taking his eyes away from her. "What's going on here, Ronnie?" he wanted, no, demanded to know in a tight voice.

For a few moments longer she simply stared at him but then her eyes cleared – and grew aware of what had just happened, judging by the way blood rushed into her cheeks and her eyes darted away from him to look at anything but him. He watched as she visibly pulled herself together, returned to the Veronica Mars she had been this past year. Her shoulders squared, her back straightened and she raised her head to hold it up high.

"Nothing," she said swiftly and turned around, turning on the water.

Yeah sure, that was why she had sobbed and quivered only moments ago. His eyes narrowed on her back, not saying anything, but his insistence to get an answer was pretty clear anyway.

Her eyes met his via the mirror after she splashed her face. "In case you haven't noticed, this is a girl's bathroom. The boy's one's across the floor."

Logan's eyes narrowed some more. "Veronica…" he warned lowly.

"And as it's out of order, as I'm pretty sure it says so on the door, I fear there won't be any opportunity for a peep show here either." She snatched a few paper towels and dried her hands and face. "The only other reason a guy would be caught dead in a girl's bathroom would be if he sneaked in to make out with a girl." She turned around and threw him a pointed look. Then again, she was right: that thought really was ridiculous, given their current relationship – or lack thereof.

And her snidely remarks sure helped a lot for Logan to shake away the troubled, worried side of him and return to the one he was: her enemy. "Cute, Veronica, very cute. But I fear I've got to disappoint you. Not going to happen, unless in your dreams."

"You wish," she snorted and grabbed her bag from the floor. "Well, it had been fun as always, Logan, but you know how it is: got classes to attend, secrets to be uncovered and friends to betray," she added bitterly, looking away. Not waiting for his comeback and without another word she briskly walked by Logan and vanished through the door.

Frowning, he stared after her. It was somewhat amazing how fast she had pulled herself together and had returned to her usual bitchy self of lately. And there was nothing more that Logan wished than to be able to accept that he had probably imagined the sight of a sobbing, hurting Veronica earlier on. After all, he and Veronica were through with each other, had nothing to do with each other anymore than exchanging biting comments and pull nasty pranks on each other if they got real dirty.

But try as he could, he knew that he wouldn't be able to simple forget that. Or the way she had shied away from his touch, clearly afraid. Perhaps not exactly of him, but surely of something, someone. Nor could he simply forget the slightly stiff way she had moved around, her usually grace and easiness lacking. A stiffness he was all too familiar with, should he be right about the reason for said stiffness.

He turned his head to stare at himself in the mirror.

She had pulled more than one nasty prank on him that had caused him a lot of trouble – and painful punishments.

She was his enemy.

She had betrayed him and Lilly and Duncan.

She had hurt him, deeply.

He narrowed his eyes.

But hell, if she thought that he would simply forget what he had just witnessed here then she was really seriously deluded.

His eyes narrowed down to two angry glowing slits.

And he'd be damned if he would let whoever has hurt her so much simply get away with it. She was his enemy. No one had the right to go after her than him. And fuck, there was certainly not one who had the right to hurt her in any way, especially physically like he dreaded someone had.

His hands balled to fists and a shudder of rage ran through him.

And God help anyone who tried to hurt her like that again.

TBC!

(Author's note: Well, well, well, the first chapter. Hope you liked it. Yeah I know, Logan had been mean, but then, he had been a jerk to her. I guess the end made up for that, huh? Hope to have chapter 2 out soon, until then, please don't hesitate to let me know what you think!)