EDIT: After numerous comments, I've clumped the series together into one place for easier reading :D

Not meant to be taken seriously. Please listen to"Monster" by Lady Gaga. It is vital to the plot. Not really. But you'll get the joke, which is always fun :D

AU. Teenage boys being teenage boys. Will refer to them by their 'human' names. But you'll know who is who instantly, don't worry.

Summary: In which the boys get to know each other, flirt, and get spied on. Link runs after Sheik for his number. And to get his ear back. Literally. Silliness. Sequel to Cosplay.

Face, Meet Palm

o

"So, Sheik, tell me about yourself."

Lance (or Link, as he had adamantly referred to himself since stepping into the Hero of Time's costume) took a hearty bite out of his lunch and gazed inquisitively boy seated beside him. The Sheik cosplayer smeared ketchup into his hotdog thoughtfully.

"What do I say?"

"Anything."

"That's a pretty broad topic."

"Start with the basics then."

Shane swung his legs back and forth on the table of the empty stall they were in. "I'm fifteen years old, blood type A, male. I like to cosplay and play guitar. I can dance too."

"Wow, you dance and play guitar? That's pretty cool. Pretty artsy stuff. Did you have your costume made, or…"

"Oh, I made it myself. We have a sewing machine at home. It's ancient, but it works." Shane looked down timidly as he said this. Lance jumped up from his seat and marveled at the costume, generous with his praise. Shane blushed even more but it couldn't be said that he didn't look proud with himself.

"You know, I think you'd get along with my sister. She made my costume." Lance swept a hand over his clothes. The white turtleneck and the riding boots were his, but the tunic and the gauntlets were made by Zoe.

"Really? Can I see?" Shane was asking even as he tugged at the other's sleeve and turning him around, checking the stitching. "It's pretty good. You almost look like him. The Hero, I mean."

"Almost?"

Shane smiled and twirled the air above his head with a finger. "You're not wearing the hat."

"Ha! No way! I'd look like a doofus. Not even the sexiest man alive could pull that off."

"Well, I'd think you could pull it off." Shane said earnestly.

Lance suddenly beamed, a sparkle in his eye. "Why, Master Sheikah, are you flirting with me?"

Shane squawked. "What? No! What made you think that? I…No!"

"I'm just teasing, man." Lance snickered, moving to give a playful punch to Shane's shoulder. Shane deflected it, so Lance pinched the other boy's cheek instead. "You're awfully cute when you're flustered, though." Shane swatted his hand away in irritation, but he didn't try to twist Lance's arm. That was good. Shane looked like a skinny pretty boy, but his grip was made of steel.

"My dear Hero of Time, I think it is you who is flirting with me. And I'm not cute."

"Sure you are! You're one big cutie-patootie! Just look at your face, it's all red and stuff. D'aww…"

Shane colored even more. "I'm not cute! Don't say that!" Lance wanted to tease him even more, but Shane was squirming uncomfortably and he didn't want to push it.

"…Foine. Be that way. I was just trying to be nice." Lance stuck his nose up, imitating his sister's royally annoyed look. "Harrumph." Shane snorted into his hotdog very ungracefully. Lance grinned and couldn't take his eyes off the other teen.

"Your turn." Shane finished his sandwich and dusted his hands. "Tell me about yourself."

Lance tilted his head and thought. "Well, I'm sixteen, blood type AB and obviously male. I like video games, good food, and martial arts." He grinned suddenly. "I also like sunsets, cheesy romance novels and long walks on the beach."

Shane laughed. Lance liked the sound of it—it reminded him of quiet Christmases in front of a warm fire. "You sound just like my type, if I were a woman and this were an online dating service."

"Really now? Tell me more about…your type."

Shane raised an eyebrow. He couldn't tell if Lance was genuinely curious or just joking around. Shane was starting to attune himself to the other boy's brand of humor, though. "You know, the usual." He stated with a nonchalant wave of a hand. "Tall, dark and handsome, that sort of thing."

Lance jumped up from his seat and made a show of glancing around the area. Then he turned solemnly to Shane, posture formal. "I regret to inform the Master Sheikah that there are no tall, dark handsomes to be had. Perhaps he would settle with tall, blond and dashingly heroic?" Lance then gave what he would later dub as The Smolder™.

Shane tapped his bandaged fingers against his bottom lip and crossed his legs, hiding a smile. "Hmm…let me think. Maybe…Nah…"

"No?" Lance gave a great gasp and dramatically clutched at his chest.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean," Shane laughed in amusement as Lance pretended to suffer from a heart attack. "Do get up from the floor, Hero of Time."

"Nay, I shall not! The monster in my bed ate my heart."

Shane swung to his feet and nudged Lance's side with the toe of his shoe. "You did not just make a Lady Gaga reference."

Lance stuck his tongue out. "I wanted to just dance, but you took me home instead—"

"Good lord, don't."

"—We French kissed on the subway train," Lance proclaimed without shame, horribly off-key. "You tore my clothes right up. You ate my heart and then you ate my brain."

"Face, meet palm," Shane announced loudly, and did just that, but Lance could see the smile he was trying to hide. "Come on," Shane offered a hand up. "I'm embarrassed just to be seen with you. Rise up, O Hero of Time."

"I would rather die at your feet, Master Sheikah."

"Up, I say!"

"Oh, I'm definitely up,if you know what I mean." Lance waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Shane's cheeks hurt from laughing already, and they felt even warmer after Lance's sordid comment.

"Fff…" Shane bit his lip and wagged a finger. "Bad Link! Bad, bad Link!"

"Woof."

The Sheik cosplayer clutched his sides and sank to his knees, right beside Lance. Of all the things Lance could have said, it couldn't be any more appropriate. Link hadbeen turned into a wolf in the Twilight Princess, hadn't he? Shane found himself liking the other boy more by the minute. "Okay, I give. Stop talking. Can't breathe."

"I knew I was good, but I didn't think I was this good." Lance preened. "For the record, I now have you breathless, panting and on your knees for me."

Shane's eyes flashed. Lance wasn't expecting what happened next.

"OW!"

Shane sniffed.

"That hurt." Lance whined.

"Serves you right." Shane cleared his throat to cover his leftover snickers.

"Come on Sheik, I was just joking."

Shane refused to look at him. "Not funny."

"Aww, I'm sorry." Lance rubbed at the sore spot on his thigh where Shane hit him. "Not fair using those epic skills against me. I'm unarmed."

Shane raised an eyebrow. "So am I."

"Moot point."

A moment of uneasiness passed for Lance. Shane was staring at him blankly. Oh, crap, I think I just killed my chance. He's gonna hate me forever! And here I thought we were getting along pretty well, oh crap, why can't I ever shut up this is bad this is really really—

Ahhhh talk to me don't just stare like that, it's pretty unnerving. His eyes are really pretty though—is he actually wearing guyliner?

No wait—why am I thinking this right now? This isn't the time to be contemplating questionable man make-up!

"Hey, can I see your ear?" Shane suddenly asked, pointing to the fake elf ears affixed on Lance's head. Lance, caught off guard, blinked and detached the elf ear, handing it to the other teen. "Interesting…"

"Huh?"

"Did your sister make this too?"

The breath went out of Lance's lungs with a 'whoosh'. He gave a relieved grin. "Uh, yeah, she did. Got instructions from the Internet. Deviantart, I think?"

Shane gave a little smile, and his eyes were twinkling. "That's nice. Very nice." He turned the fake ear in his hands. "You know, I'm going to have to punish you—

"Kinky."

"—for that untoward comment you made." Shane's eyebrow twitched, but his eyes were still sparkling.

"Which one?" Lance asked cheekily. Shane flushed and pushed up his cowl. "Oh, that on-your-knees one? The one where I had you breathless and panting—"

Shane abruptly stood up. "If you were a gullible five-year-old, I'd say 'got your nose' but as it is, I've 'got your ear'. Literally. Come to think of it, you act like a five-year-old anyway."

"Ha ha, very funny—Sheik? Where are you going?" Lance swiftly got onto his feet. Shane poised to run. "Hey, wait! What are you doing?"

"What does it look doing?"

"But I haven't gotten your number yet!"

"Make sure you catch me, then!" Shane looked back and gave a quick wink, before maneuvering through the throng of people in front of him. Lance grinned despite himself and gave chase.

o

"You know, I'm actually finding this very romantic." Zoe squinted at the crowd and quickly spotted her brother chasing one of Deviantart's most popular Sheik cosplayer. "Don't you think so, Minnie?"

"They're acting like total idiots right now, but I can't say it's not entertaining." Zoe's best friend shrugged. "Their play-fight looked really choreographed. I didn't know Lance knew Shane."

"He doesn't. Didn't." Zoe giggled when the two started play-fighting again in the same place they'd been before. Lance had Shane in a head-lock, and the Sheik cosplayer was doing a marvelous job twisting out of the grip by tickling Lance. "They're getting along really well, though, for acquaintances of only a few hours. Oh, this is so exciting! A romance blooming before our very eyes!"

"Sounds like a cheesy romance novel."

"Doesn't it?"

"Maybe you could write it. I think you should."

Zoe's eyes gleamed. To the people in the nearby vicinity, it seemed as if Princess Zelda was possessed by a madman, what with the maniacal evil laughter and the twitching fingers. The Midna cosplayer she was with hung back and covered her smirk. She'd seen Lance shoot up and shiver, sensing danger afoot.

It's too bad of Lance, though, Minnie thought. And Shane. It's always the good-looking ones.