Disclaimer: Captain Fangirlhumper… err, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe. 'Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch' is the property of Weird Al and his CD label and stuff. Not mine.
Joe's Note: Look ma, more fic! Sis still isn't done illustrating the first chapter, but I made her more anyways. I figure if I get far enough ahead, she won't be able to bug me for a while. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

'Some girls like to buy new shoes,
And others like driving trucks and wearing tattoos.
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch:
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch.
Oh girls just want to have lunch…'

Sitting back in their booth in the Three Broomsticks, Hermione stared at Luna with undisguised awe. Who would have thought that the girl everyone else thought was mad, the girl who wore rubbish and food for jewelry… would be so bloody brilliant? While her arithmancy skills were a bit behind (understandable, given Luna was in her first year of the class while Hermione was in her second), the blonde was actually ahead of Hermione when it came to understanding ancient runes and civilizations. The phrase 'don't judge a book by its cover' came to mind, for some reason.

"Bloody hell!" Groaning, Hermione turned her head to find Harry and Ron standing next to their booth… or rather Ron standing there with Harry a half pace behind him, hand on one of Ron's shoulders and a sympathetic look on his face. "Hermione! You skipped out on us to have lunch with Loony Lovegood?"

Hermione scowled, slipping her wand from her pocket and pointing it at him. While she was nowhere near as vicious as Ginny Weasley when it came to hexes, she had an idea or two in mind for spells to try depending on how the next few exchanges went. "I wasn't aware that being friends with you precluded me from making other friends, Ronald."

After a moment of confusion, which ended when Harry whispered a translation in Ron's ear, the redhead's scowl grew and he crossed his arms over his chest. "It doesn't! You can have other friends, but… why Loony?"

"Because we're going to the Yule Ball together, Ronald, and Hermione and I didn't want it to be awkward. So, as part of our agreement, we met for lunch today." Luna tilted her head to the side, staring at Ron with unblinking silver eyes. "You know, you should really close your mouth before the blibbering humdingers decide to start nesting in there…"

Hermione had to make a point of closing her own jaw, though, which gave her a bit of empathy for how Ron felt. Luna had effectively just outted them as at least a temporary couple. Given she was pretty sure the redhead had a crush on her, the fact that she was seeking affection elsewhere had to be painful enough. The Luna Factor was just adding insult to injury. Not that there was any affection going either way between the two of them, she hurriedly reminded herself, but that's how she was pretty sure Ron would see it.

After working his jaw for a moment, Ron finally managed to get coherent sounds to emerge. "This? This is your mystery date? The one you turned me down for? You're going to the Yule Ball with Luna BLOODY Lovegood?!" Hermione winced at the rising volume of his voice, the Three Broomsticks rapidly quieting as all attention turned their way. "What… what the hell is that?" Brushing off Harry's hand, Ron turned and stormed away. After a moment of looking between the two, Harry gave Hermione a helpless shrug and went after their mutual friend, presumably to calm him down.

Burying her head in her hands, Hermione sighed as whispers sprung up in Ron's wake, knowing they were all talking about her. While dating outside one's year wasn't too uncommon, especially one year older or younger, Luna had previous informed her that dating a member of one's own gender wasn't common in the wizarding world. And… it was Loony Lovegood. Hermione had kept her ears and eyes open over the last month, watching how others treated the odd little blonde, and it disturbed her.

Mostly because, if not for a freak troll attack in first year, it could have been her. Sure, she didn't talk about blibbering humdingers or crumpled-horn snorkacks, but she'd been just as big a pariah until the vaunted Boy-Who-Lived took her into his circle of friends, elevating her in the eyes of her peers. Luna had no such benefactor, and languished in the wasteland outside of all the school's tightly knit social circles.

"Would you like to try some of my steak and kidney pudding?" Hermione raised her head, meeting Luna's calm yet compassionate gaze. "It's not an entirely magnanimous offer, though; I'm personally curious to try your chicken kiev. Not curious enough to order it myself, mind you, just in case I don't like it. I'd hate to waste food." She gestured to her own plate. "So, trade a little with me?"

Hermione blinked stupidly at Luna, looking down at their respective plates before fixing the blonde with an incredulous gaze. "Ron just announced our little… whatever… to the entire school, and the first thing you can think about is our lunch? Don't you care what people are going to think? What your friends are going to say? Wait, you don't have that proble…" She trailed off, realizing she'd put her foot in her mouth. "I'm sorry, Luna, I didn't mean that. I'm just a bit upset and I shouldn't be taking it out on you."

Shrugging, Luna took a sip of her butterbeer before reaching across the table to pat Hermione's hand. "You're not used to being on the outside looking in anymore. And you don't want to be used to it ever again. I can't say I understand, since I've never been allowed inside. Do you want to cancel with me and find someone more acceptable to go to the ball with?"

"After that scene, the entire school will know by dinner. What do you think my odds are of finding someone else to go with me? I mean, even Neville's got a date with Ginny Weasley." Hermione chuckled and eyed her pumpkin juice for a moment before reaching over and stealing Luna's butterbeer bottle, taking a long drag before setting it down again. "No, at this point, I say we do it. I'm not going to let the narrow-minded wizarding world or Ronald Weasley ruin what could be a delightful evening for me. And besides, Gryffindors go forward."

Luna nodded before pausing, looking down at the blue and bronze tie she'd thrown on even with her casual weekend clothes. "I'm not a Gryffindor, though."

Smirking, Hermione waved her wand and Luna's tie rippled before changing into the red and gold of Gryffindor. "There. You are now." Tucking her wand away, she eyed her own plate before pushing it towards the middle of the table and pulling Luna's next to it. "Bon appétit."

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Hermione looked up for her book and, realizing Harry was settling in across from her for a serious conversation, marked her place before closing it. "Know what I'm doing… elaborate please?"

Sighing, Harry picked at an invisible piece of lint on his pants for a moment before looking up to meet her gaze again. "With Luna, Hermione. Do you know what you're doing? I mean, I'm all for you doing whatever makes you happy, but the rest of the school seems to be a bit behind us muggle-raised as far as tolerance. You're going to have a lot of people sharing their opinions with you about this, and most aren't going to be too kind. Even Ron…"

"Ronald is a petty little boy who's upset that someone he was too cowardly to approach, someone who has absolutely no interest in him mind you, has found someone else to go to the ball with." Hermione scowled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "He'd be just as bad if I was going with you, or Neville, or Malfoy, or… or Viktor Krum."

Harry chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Viktor Krum?"

Nodding, Hermione looked over at where someone had tethered one of the miniature Viktors from the World Cup to a desk, watching him zip in and out of the desk's legs until he ran out of string and then reversing course to untangle himself. "He asked me, you know. I could be going to the ball with Viktor Krum, Quidditch God and Triwizard Champion."

"Wait a minute, you could be going to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum?" Harry's jaw dropped as Hermione nodded. "And you're not?" She nodded again. "Are you mad?"

That was the question of the hour, wasn't it? Even if she didn't want to be Viktor's fangirl shield, she could have picked another date to the ball… even poached Neville for herself before he got desperate enough to ask her for help with Ginny. Instead, she was going with an odd little blonde Ravenclaw with no friends and a tendency to babble on about creatures Hermione was pretty sure didn't exist. She was normally the cool and logical one, doing the thinking for her two friends to keep them from getting themselves killed or, even worse, expelled. Where was her logic now? "I suppose you could call me that. Or, dare I say even… loony?"