The Most Deadly Betrayal
Chapter 2
Steve got right next to his living room door and taking one long and deep steadying breath he moved quickly into the doorway and pointed his weapon at the back of the intruder in the now darkened living room, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was hammering and keeping a quick sideways glance down the hall in case there was a second intruder somewhere else in his apartment that could surprise him at any second.
"Freeze! Put your hands up where I can see them and don't move a muscle."
The unidentified intruder froze where he stood as he heard the unmistakable sound of the safety catch being removed from the weapon now pointed at him and he quickly spoke as he lifted his hands immediately into the air.
"STEVE, take it easy ... it's MIKE! "
Squinting into the darkened room, he quickly flicked the light switch on and secured his 38" again hastily away from his now illuminated partner as he released the breath he had been holding in as his heart rate and labored breathing gave away the fright Mike had just given him.
"MIKE? ... What the HELL were you thinking? I could have just shot you! You scared the hell out of me ..."
Mike dropped his hands, turned and spoke.
"Scared the hell out of YOU? I was the one the gun was pointing at you know?"
Steve conceded that fact and half smiled as he answered in an embarrassed tone.
"Yeah, yeah sorry. You just startled me that's all. I thought it was a burglar ... or worse."
"I'm sorry too Buddy boy. I didn't mean to startle you but when I arrived your door was wide open. I knocked but when there was no answer, I got worried and came in and then saw all this broken glass. Where were you? And what happened?"
"Where was I? Mike, where's your car? I looked outside but I didn't see it."
"I had to park around the corner because all the parking spaces were gone."
"And where's your fedora? You know if you'd had that on, I might have recognized you sooner."
"I took it off when I came into your living room. I usually do when I enter someone's house as you well know. It's on the couch over there. Now will you please answer MY questions. WHERE were you and what the hell happened?"
As Steve's heart rate began to settle a little, he flustered uneasily.
"I ah ... I was downstairs ... with ah ... Mrs. Peterson ..."
"Well why did you leave your front door open? That's not a safe thing to do, you know? And what happened with the broken glass? And what HAPPENED to your HAND?" Mike exclaimed in alarm as he suddenly spotted the makeshift bandage.
"MIKE! Enough with the forty questions, alright? I just ... dropped something and ... cut my hand cleaning up the glass. Mrs. Peterson heard the glass break and came up to see if I was ok and insisted on taking care of the cut. ALRIGHT? You happy now? Now it's your turn, what ... what are YOU doing here Mike?"
Mike grinned broadly and then lifted a hand to appeal for patience before reaching behind him and producing a pizza box and a bottle of red wine.
"I brought dinner" he announced proudly but his smile soon faded as he saw Steve's face remaining unimpressed and then heard Steve's subdued voice in reply.
"Mike look ... I appreciate the gesture, I really do but I told you earlier I'm ... just not very good company tonight. It's been one hell of a day and ah ... I'm really not very hungry."
Mike stepped forward and lowering the box and bottle, he spoke in a low, sympathetic tone.
"Steve, I know what you said earlier and I know it looks like I was checking up on you and going against your wishes but it's not that at all. I was getting myself something for dinner anyway and I figured you probably wouldn't bother so I just brought one to share. No strings attached whatsoever. I promise. I just want to see you eat something, that's all. You're right. It HAS been a long day and neither of us have eaten since this morning. Starving yourself is just going to bring on one of your migraines and that would be the last thing you need on top of everything else right now, huh? Besides ... it's NOT from Tony's ..." Mike added in an enticing voice, knowing how much Steve hated the food that Tony served up.
Steve had listened in quiet dismay but at the last sentence, his interest piqued. He lifted Mike's hand that held the Pizza box and he read the name emblazoned across the front. Mike heartened as he saw the young man's face light up briefly.
"Is this from that new place that opened up on the Wharf?" he asked and there was a faint touch of excitement behind the question. Mike grinned again and nodded enthusiastically.
"That's right. The one you kept saying everyone was raving about and you wanted to try and look Buddy boy ..." he said, opening the box with a flourish " No anchovies."
Steve half smiled, touched by the lengths Mike had gone to just to make sure he would eat something. He HAD been wanting to try their pizzas for a while now so despite not feeling very hungry, he spoke gratefully.
"Ok ... ok, you've convinced me. Just ah ... let me clean up a little and then I'll get us some plates and napkins. But Mike ... I ... I don't feel like talking, ok?"
Mike's smile widened.
"Sure ... Absolutely ... Eating, no talking. But you ah ... might want to close your front door first, huh?"
Steve nodded humorously before heading back out into the hall to do just that. Then coming back in, he saw Mike bent down clearing up the remainder of the broken glass. Rushing forward, he flustered.
"That's ok Mike. I can do that ..."
Taking the dustpan off Mike he finished the task and then left the living room briefly before returning to pick up the remaining empty beer bottles off the table. He could feel Mike watching him and felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment. His eyes traveled up to meet Mike's and he spoke quietly.
"I know what you're thinking Mike. Look, I just needed them this evening, ok?"
Mike held up his hands in mock surrender and spoke casually.
"Relax Buddy boy ... I didn't say anything, did I?"
"You didn't have to ... I know how you feel about well ... this sort of thing."
"What sort of thing? You mean your liquid diet this evening? "
Steve's cheeks flushed again at Mike's damning phrase and he nodded sheepishly.
"Yeah ... Look, I'm not drunk Mike, ok? I mean it was just a few beers. "
"I never said you were Steve. Like I said ... I just want to see you eat something, that's all."
Mike's tone remained nonjudgmental yet Steve's conscience still burned. He left with the empties and returned moments later with two plates, napkins, a cork screw and two wine glasses and set them down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He wasn't sure if Mike was going to approve of him partaking in the wine after his already consumed alcohol but he was taking the chance anyway. He wasn't quite as numbed yet as he wanted to be and the wine looked promising. He turned on the corner lamp and turned off the glaring center light, giving the room a more comfortable feel before pulling the curtains and sitting down heavily on the couch beside Mike, remembering the fedora at the last minute and pulling it out from under him hastily before it was too late. Holding the rescued hat in his grasp and breathing heavily from the near disaster he handed it sheepishly to Mike, as he watched Mike's face staring at him unnervingly.
"Oops! ... That nearly turned out bad ... Sorry" he stammered nervously as Mike's glare softened and he took the hat from the younger man and placed it where it would be safer from now on as the silence lengthened between them.
Steve noticed that Mike had removed his coat and jacket and watched as he opened the bottle of wine and poured him a full glass before filling his own and opening the pizza box and placing two slices on each plate and handing him one.
"Thanks ..."
The next few uncomfortable minutes were filled with eating the pizza which turned out to be every bit as good as others had said it was. Despite not feeling very hungry to begin with, Steve even found himself enjoying the offered meal and managed three slices before the silence started to get to him. Mike had been true to his word and hadn't talked at all except to compliment the pizza and praise Steve for managing to eat some. Steve had drank his glass of wine quite quickly and was slightly surprised that Mike didn't object when he reached over and refilled it just as fast. Steve noticed that while the older man had eaten his share of pizza, he hadn't hardly touched his glass of wine. The pent up feelings today had generated came back as they shared their meal and the extra alcohol now in his system was making him feel even more vulnerable and ill at ease.
Unnoticed by Steve, Mike was watching his young partner closely. It wasn't like his young partner to resort to alcohol to that extent after a day's work and Mike knew as a result that he was hurting more than he was letting on. The broken bottle hadn't been fully explained either and that bothered him too but he knew well enough to bide his time and wait for Steve to open up in his own time. He knew from experience that the silence would work soon enough and until them he would wait and watch and be ready to help when the inevitable happened. He watched as Steve dropped his last half eaten slice of pizza back onto his plate and drank another time from his glass. It was getting close now, he could tell. Steve's nervous movements were increasing. He was rubbing his mouth and chin more and more and Mike frowned as he watched Steve refill his glass again and suddenly regretted not bringing sodas instead of the bottle of wine. He hadn't expected Steve to resort to alcohol to drown his sorrows having never done it before. He watched Steve turn and stare at him briefly after he had refilled the glass before he looked away again to stare at the far wall.
Mike didn't have to wait much longer. After two more swallows of wine, Steve dropped the glass back onto the coffee table and sighed heavily, slouching back against the couch and unable to hold back the hurt any longer as the further alcohol only intensified the hurt and betrayal he felt and dulled his defenses, he spoke with a level of angst and upset in his voice that moved Mike deeply.
"How could I have been so stupid, Mike? She used me ... Played me for a fool and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker ... I honestly didn't see it coming ... Why didn't I SEE it Mike? I mean ... Am I really THAT gullible?".
As he spoke he rubbed both hands though his hair and Mike could both see and hear the upset churning through him but what worried Mike the most was the fact that he seemed to be questioning his own abilities to be a good police officer. He couldn't let that go and so he quickly jumped into the conversation.
"Hey, hey! Now wait just a minute. You are not THAT gullible, alright? You've seen through many cold blooded killers since we've been partners. Its just that sometimes ... well ..."
" ... I get a little distracted if they have a pretty face, right?" Steve added with a tone of self contempt that annoyed Mike as he quickly responded
"Steve, that's NOT what I was going to say. It's just that sometimes when you care for someone, you get a blind spot but that's not exclusive to you. We all get those from time to time. That's the reason we have partners to begin with. So that we have another pair of eyes and an objective view looking at things that well ... that maybe we can't see for ourselves sometimes. Just like with Chris Bane. You remember that case, don't you? He was an old friend and I never saw that he was leaving us clues to take suspicion off himself, did I? You came up with that. You saw straight through him and you helped me see the truth even when ... when I didn't want to believe it ... We all have our blind spots Buddy boy. That doesn't make you a bad cop. It makes you a human one ..."
Steve stared at Mike silently but Mike could see the moisture glistening in his eyes. He watched as Steve picked up his wine glass again and drank some more and Mike feared that the young man was hurting more than he had even envisaged. Then came the words that shook him inside as he watched Steve stare into his wine glass dolefully.
"I really liked her Mike. I mean ... I was really falling for her, you know? I really thought she felt the same way ... "
Mike saw him then drain his glass and reach for the bottle to pour some more and he dry swallowed and drank some of his own wine to moisten his throat as he chose his next words carefully. Steve was drinking the wine way too fast and he had to get him to stop before it turned ugly. He had read the signs over the last few days and had seen the young man fall for the beautiful stranger who had moved just next door. He had teased the young man about an impending marriage but behind the teasing he had seen the possibility of a serious relationship developing between them, at least from what he had judged from Steve's side of things. That's what had made the discovery of her as the killer all the more painful for him. Steve was displaying all the signs of a broken heart and a shattered confidence. His first priority had to be to console and try and bolster the young man's confidence back to what it had been before Sydney Bruce had entered his life so coldly and purposefully. He reached tentatively across and placed a hand on the young man's shoulder and spoke in a sympathetic tone.
"I know you did Buddy boy ..."
Steve then snorted derisively and added with the same self loathing as earlier surfacing in his tone.
"What a fool, huh? ... God, I feel so stupid Mike ..."
He felt Mike squeeze his shoulder and hated himself even more for this display of weakness in front of the one man he admired and respected above all others.
"Steve, you are NOT stupid. She played you ... and she pulled it off expertly. She was a good actress and I would imagine you weren't the only man she ever conned either. You had no way of knowing she wasn't who she claimed to be ..."
"Oh come on Mike. She didn't fool you, did she?"
"Now wait a minute. I didn't suspect her at first either you know. I ... well I was just a little concerned that she seemed to be moving so fast with you that's all. I didn't even start to suspect her until ... well until Lloyd Davies turned up dead ..."
Mike saw Steve's face darken at those words and instantly regretted mentioning the deceased hit man. He watched as Steve downed half the third glass of wine in one go and spoke firmly.
"Hey, hey go easy will you? I think maybe you've had enough for one night. "
"No, no I don't think so ... I haven't had near enough yet ... Dear God Mike. That guy's dead because I ... I blabbed about the case ... I dont know what I was thinking Mike ..."
Mike could feel the palpable guilt and angst emanating from the young man beside him. He knew the debilitating alcohol wasn't helping and could see it was starting to have negative effects on the young man beside him. He had to get the glass away from him but first things first, he had to get through to Steve somehow.
"Now LISTEN TO ME! You said yourself you never gave his name to her and mark my words, she was that calculating that she would have gotten that information from somewhere else all by herself even if you hadn't said a word. Now Davies lived by the gun and he died by it and if she hadn't killed him well ... there would have been a long line of people out there waiting for their chance to do it for her ... It was only a matter of time so don't you DARE try to blame yourself for THAT!The day he killed Murray Brennan's son he wrote his own death certificate and he was in the game long enough to know the risks he was taking when he did. As for talking about the case, do you think I never discussed any cases with Helen? Well? I did ... Many times. You have a hard day at the office, of course you need to tell someone about it. It's what keeps us cops sane ... Like you did, I ... well I wouldn't give her specific details but she listened and she understood. That's all you were trying to do. Have someone listen ..."
"Helen was your wife Mike. Sydney was ... well I don't know what the hell she was anymore ... I don't even know if that was her real name ... "
Mike watched as Steve stopped mid-sentence and turned to look at him, his expression pained and his eyes definitely starting to look slightly glazed.
" ... Was it?"
Mike shook his head solemnly.
"No ... Her name was Sally Banning. But she WAS from New York ..."
A loud sigh left Steve's lips as he seemed to sink further back into the couch, nursing his wine glass in his lap, hanging on to it as if for dear life.
"Great ... So one piece of her story wasn't a lie, huh? Still ... It's no excuse Mike. I shouldn't have said anything ... I'm sorry ..."
"Steve, don't dwell on it, ok? You'll just drive yourself crazy. Just chalk it down to experience and learn from it. That's my advice. "
Steve nodded dolefully but the returning memories were just making his heartache worse. The alcohol now free flowing through his bloodstream was making his usual restraint harder and he found the words flowing more freely now, needing to be expressed.
"Mike ... I was with her last night ... I mean she ... she'd just killed that guy in cold blood the night before, right? And then when I got home yesterday evening she ... came on to me and slept with me just like ... like she'd done nothing wrong ... "
Mike sucked in a deep breath as he heard Steve's words that came out in broken, heart wrenching sentences and then saw him shudder at the very thought. Steve never discussed things like this with him and he knew that without the courage he had just gotten from the alcohol, he most definitely wouldn't have even brought it up at all but it worried Mike that it was bothering the young man so much. For a rare moment he found himself lost for words as to how to console him so instead he waited for Steve to continue. He didn't have to wait long.
"I mean ... what kind of a sick person do you have to be to be able to switch personalities like that? She was a cold blooded killer but ... she wasn't like that with me Mike. She was warm and sweet and ... How did I not pick up on those vibes? My gut normally picks things like that up ... but not this time ... I ah ... I just can't get my head round it Mike. I thought ... after what we shared and we did ... I really thought it meant something, you know? But she was just ... using me ... She ... she would have shot me Mike ... If you hadn't come along when you did ... I wouldn't be talking to you now ... I'd have been Bernie's new corpse to autopsy ... I never saw the gun ... I was too stunned that it was her ..."
Those last words sent a cold chill up Mike's spine as he saw a tear escape and fall down Steve's cheek as the young man stared into his wine glass, his broken heart now almost palpable as the sound of his heaving breaths filled the silence in the room. Steve's words evoked a harrowing vision of Steve on Bernie's Autopsy table and it was then Mike's turn to shudder. He silently thanked God in that moment that he had managed to get there in time to warn his young partner about the hidden gun. The fact that Steve had even admitted not seeing it, showed Mike the level of hurt and shock that seeing her as the killer had generated in him.
He had to speak. To say something wise and meaningful but the young man's deep hurt was affecting him more than he had hoped it would. For a brief second he felt in over his head and almost wished Lenny was there to help with the comforting. He thought about what Lenny would say if he were there and from that thought and his own feelings he managed to form his next sentence. Reaching out to squeeze Steve's arm this time in support he spoke softly and yet firmly.
"Steve ... It goes without saying that I'm glad you weren't Bernie's next client so to speak ... But, you can't be sure she would have pulled that trigger ... From what you said, maybe when she was with you, she found a part of herself that she'd left behind a long time ago. Maybe you brought the best out of her, huh? Maybe ... just maybe now ... when you were together she showed you the real Sally Banning and not the cold killer Sydney Bruce, huh?"
Mike's well meaning words of comfort didn't help and Steve shook his head violently.
"No ... no I don't believe that. I was just a mark Mike ... A part of her plan ... You heard her. Nothing ... personal ..."
Those last two, almost spat out words, held a unspeakable hurt, beyond words and Mike watched him even closer to try and figure out what to say next. Before he could reply Steve continued in the same heart wrenching tone.
"I saw it Mike. In her eyes as she pointed that gun. They were cold Mike ... Cold and empty. She didn't care about me ... I was expendable. It was like I was looking at the same Sydney but the same Sydney wasn't looking back at me ..."
Mike couldn't bear to listen to the self contemptuous tones coming from his usually confident and full of life partner. He had to say something to pull him back from the brink of despair that he was so obviously teetering on the edge of. This time grabbing Steve's arm he spoke loudly, drawing a distinct wince from the young man but also catching his complete and undivided attention.
"STEVE! Now I want you to listen to me and listen good. Maybe you're RIGHT. Maybe she would have killed you and not cast a second thought about it ... OR ... Maybe I'M right and maybe she wouldn't have found herself able to pull that trigger. Either way we'll never know and I doubt she'll ever tell us so ... it is what it is. Yes ... you were used and that feels lousy but you can't let this break you. You HAVE to get your head past this and move on and do whatever you have to do ... or need to do to help that happen. Do you HEAR me now? You're better than this and you deserved better than how she treated you but well ... as you well know ... Life is NOT fair and so we have to make the most of whatever it throws at us and still stay standing ..."
Steve winced again as the pressure on his arm increased as Mike struggled with the intense need to get Steve past this hurt and back to his former self. Speaking in a pained and slightly slurred voice he wriggled his arm under Mike's hold.
"Mike ... you're hurting my arm ..."
Mike froze at those words and let go quickly of Steve's arm and covered his mouth with his hand as he realized he had been a little too forceful with his advice. Watching as Steve rubbed at where he had held his arm too tightly, Mike stammered an emotional apology.
"I'm sorry Buddy boy ... I just hate to see you like this. I've been there before and it's not nice ... I just don't want you to fall apart because of this ... "
Steve stared at Mike, now feeling even worse that he had upset the older man by his behavior and words and he in turn reached out and patted Mike's arm gently.
"It's ok Mike ... I shouldn't be talking like this. You're right. What's done is done. "
With that he lifted the wine glass and downed it fully before Mike could stop him and reached for the remaining wine left at the end of the bottle, but Mike had recovered by then and grabbed it away before he could get it, holding it just out of his reach.
"STEVE! NO! The answer to your problems is NOT in this bottle or ANY bottle for that matter. Now you've had ENOUGH ..."
"Mike ... Please ... Give me the bottle, will ya? You said I needed to do what I needed to to get over this right? Well right now I need THAT. "
"The HELL you do. No way ... Not this ... I meant time off or to speak with Lenny or to take a trip somewhere. GO SKIING! ANYTHING but THIS. "
Steve made another swipe for the bottle but Mike moved it away again in perfect time as Steve's slowed reflexes were no match for Mike's perfect ones. Mike's heart felt like it constricted as he heard the pained voice that followed from his young partner as another errant tear rolled down and followed the earlier one.
"Mike ... PLEASE ... I just need to feel numb ... Just for tonight, I promise ... I just ... need ... to feel numb."
Steve sat forward and placed his elbows on his knees, both hands now covering his face as the upset proved too much to contain in his current intoxicated state as his body shook and tortuous muffled sobs came from behind his tightly pressed hands.
A/N : Thanks for the follows and the kind feedback on this story so far. Also a quick shout out to EKWTSM9 for the inspiration to write a drunk Steve into my story after being inspired by her story Appalachian Dead Draw. Cheers!... ;-)