It was somewhere between morning and noon, one of those periods in the day when the gates of Konoha were deserted by everyone except for its faithful guards. The teams had already left for training or missions and the first highlight of the day; watching Mito Gai and Rock Lee sprint out of the village with an almost nauseating enthusiasm while their team mates followed, trying in vain to act as if they did not know the two green clad bowl cuts, was over and done with. But the main event was still to come.
And here it came, just as Kotetsu took out the bottle of sake disguised as Mizu no Kuni's Finest Mineral Water, strolling down the road in the form of Hatake Kakashi.
"Bingo," Izumo mumbled. "Now call for him."
"Why don't you do it?" Kotetsu protested in a low voice.
Despite having talked to Kakashi on several previous occasions and never, so far, given him any reason to dislike them there was something slightly intimidating about him. It was not as much the fact that he was an extremely efficient killer; they were, after all, surrounded by those daily and counted themselves as such, nor was it that he could probably kill you more and better than most people. It was just something about him being Sharingan Kakashi and, to put it simply, the height of cool, that made the two Chuunin feel slightly more inferior than their rank suggested. And the knowledge that they were about to start meddling in his love life did nothing to ease that feeling.
"Chicken," Izumo muttered, then he raised his voice and said: "Kakashi-sensei! We were just talking about you."
The Jounin stopped in front of the guard booth and raised his eyebrow questioningly.
"About your exploit the other day," Izumo continued tentatively, slightly discouraged by Kakashi's passivity. "Against Naruto's little jutsu. You're probably the only one in the village who can resist it."
Kakashi shrugged.
"It's not that special."
"Oh, don't be modest!" said Kotetsu heartedly, obviously gaining courage from Izumo's insecurity . "Iruka-kun was very impressed when we told him, said he'd love to learn the trick."
"Is that so?"
"Yes," the Chuunin looked carefully at the visible part of Kakashi's face, hoping to detect a trace of interest, "the poor guy was the test object when Naruto developed his technique, but he still can't resist it. He could use some tips."
"He was the guinea pig, eh?" There was a slightly humoristic glint in the Copy-nin's eye. "Well, that says something about Iruka-sensei's taste in women doesn't it?"
"Er…it does?" asked Kotetsu, slightly taken aback by the answer. He glanced at Izumo for assistance, but his companion seemed to be as much at a loss as he was.
"Of course it does." Kakashi smiled, an amused and slightly indulgent smile that sent shivers down the gate guard's spines. "Now, I'm late for a meeting. See'ya." And he vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Idiot!" Izumo hissed as soon as he'd gone. "You had the perfect opportunity to say something about Iruka's taste in women. Why didn't you?"
"I couldn't hear you making an effort either."
"Damn, that guy's so hard to read." Izumo rubbed his temples.
"Maybe we should try to give him some of Mizu no Kuni's Finest," Kotetsu suggested, giving the bottle a fond look.
"I've got a feeling that would just end with him drinking us under the table."
"Yeah, I guess it would." Kotetsu sighed. "So, what do we do now?"
"We keep on planting."
--
Over the next week Izumo and Kotetsu took every opportunity they got to talk to Iruka, each time trying to casually slip Kakashi's name into the conversation. Unfortunately they did not see much of Iruka since they were confined to the gates almost twenty-four hours a day and Iruka kept mostly to the Academy and his apartment. Someone they did see the more of was Kakashi, who past in and out of the gates almost every day. After their first attempt, however, they were not overly keen on talking to him and after three more, rather pathetic, tries, each ending with them being completely owned, they decided the time had come to take drastic measures.
"But what technique do we use?" Izumo mused. "It's Sharingan Kakashi we need to fool here. And Iruka isn't exactly stupid either. And no," he said sharply as Kotetsu opened his mouth, "we're not using Mizu no Kuni's Finest."
"I wasn't going to suggest that," said Kotetsu dryly. "What about a Godaime Special?"
"Nah, it wouldn't work. Kakashi's got his dogs, remember?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Maybe a Double Dango?"
"That might work. Only we don't have that many senbon."
"We could borrow some from Genma," Izumo sniggered.
"Yeah, right."
They fell into silent contemplation, going through every Technique of Meddling they knew. Suddenly Kotetsu's face lit up.
"How about… a Closet Classic?"
Izumo pondered this for a while.
"You know, that's not a bad idea… It's simple, yet effective."
"And the closet theme is kind of symbolic too."
Izumo grinned.
"Kotetsu, you're a genius."