This wasn't supposed to be more than one chapter, but last night, my twin sister said I need another chapter. When I told her the it was complete, that's the only chapter, she said I know that...but that's stupid! So, I'll actually have to write a few more since now it will be incomplete if I don't.
I'm going to leave the story "open" for now...
Also, I feel like the story title doesn't even match the story now. *rolls eyes* Thanks, twin!
6 weeks later…
"I'll call you. I want to see you again. Is that not what he said Delbert?"
"I don't remember…"
"You were there!" I scream, pacing back and forth in my bathroom. "It was right before we found…"
"Don't you dare fucking say it," he interrupts me. "We will never speak of it. We made a pact."
We did make a pact. Spit on our hands and shook on it and everything.
"What's the big deal anyway? You don't even know him."
I bite my lip and stare down at the stick sitting on my bathroom counter. The sticks. All three of them have those two pink lines, and never in a million years did I think tree bark sex would result in this.
He wore a condom for fuck's sake!
Fuck me sideways, I'm pregnant with Edward's child. I don't even know his last name. I'm carrying the child of a man whose name I don't even know. Edward what? Edward Michael? Edward Cooper? What if his name is like Edward Hannibal Lecter or something?
My baby is going to eat people.
Oh God, I'm going to be sick.
"It's just rude, Del," I say, deep breathing. "When you tell someone you will call them, you better damn well call them!"
"Yeah, I get that, but why don't you call him? You have his number."
"I did try calling him," I cringe. "His phone was disconnected."
Delbert starts laughing in my ear, snorting and chuckling, and if he was standing in front of me, I'd knock him upside the head.
"Delbert Ichabod Foley, stop laughing!"
"Oh shit," He gives one last snort. "Shit, I don't even know what to say."
Gathering up my sticks I toss them in the garbage, and then stick my foot in there and just crush the shit out of them until they're good and broken.
Die sticks, I stomp.
You think you know me, I crush.
Pregnant, I squash. I don't think so!
"Oh guess what?" Delbert says, and I pause my destroying as my ears perk up. I'm always down for a bit of gossip as long as it's not about me.
I try to pull my foot out of the garbage, but my shoe is stuck. I hop around, kicking and shaking my leg to wedge it off, panting, "What? What's happened? Oh my God," I squawk. "Is your mom leaving Uncle Henri for my mom? I'm going to be sick."
"Oh fuck! No! Shit don't speak of it!" He shrieks before I hear him gagging in my ear.
I crack up, sounding downright hysterical, and I give my foot one last kick and the garbage can flies against the wall, knocking trash and mutilated pregnancy sticks all over the floor.
"Okay, sorry, sorry," I say. "I had a moment of panic."
"Well shit, watch yourself. What I was going to say before you, well you know, was that Dallas asked Rosalie to marry him."
"Oh my good God almighty," I say, shocked. "That's almost as bad as lesbian mom sex!"
"Bella!"
"What in the world is she thinking?" I ask, ignoring his outrage at my slip of the tongue. "It's Dallas we're talking about here. Dallas Willis, Del. Your step-brother. The pervert."
"I know who he is," he laughs. "I don't know the why or the how, but the wedding's next weekend. You'll come, won't you?"
"You bet your ass I'll be there. Holy shit."
Delbert laughs, and says, "I'll text you the details. Your moms not invited."
"Oh, she'll be there," I chuckle, and Delbert hangs up on me.
…
…
…
The day before Rosalie's wedding, I'm still pregnant.
Mom is on her way over to pick me up, so we can drive down together, and I'm still pregnant.
I'm knocked up.
I have a child growing in my uterus.
I'm motherfucking pregnant by a man whose name is Edward NoLastName. He looks like a God, fucks like an animal, and has a voice that could make angels sing Hal-lay-fuck-ing-loo-ya over and over and over again.
I mean, those are all good qualities, but how did this happen!
According to Planned Parenthood, If you use condoms perfectly (perfectly? You just roll that thing on and badda bing!) every single time you have sex, they're 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren't perfect, so in real life (it's always real life, asshat!) condoms are about 85% effective - (eighty fucking five percent! You might as well NOT even use them!) that means about 15 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.
Okay, yeah, I'm not on birth control, but there's a reason for that. Not that I care to explain myself right now.
I wheel my suitcase to the front door, grab my sunglasses and my phone, and my snack bag, and head out the door. I wait on the curb until mom pulls up in her Mustang. She pops the trunk and I toss my shit in and throw myself into the front seat.
"Hello to you, darling," she says, pulling out in front of a truck who lays on his horn, and when I look back he's flipping us off.
"Mom! Watch for traffic."
"Oh, hush up," she scolds. "I've been driving longer than you've been alive. I know what I'm doing."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," I scream, holding onto the oh shit handle. "You just ran that red light!"
"It was yellow, and we made it."
Dear God in heaven, please get us there safe. Please protect us as mom drives crazy and one more thing God…Please Dear Lord in heaven, let the only place my mom sits, be on a chair.
"Are you praying? Bella, knock it off! You don't pray like that."
"You can't tell me how to pray. God accepts all prayers!"
She rolls her eyes and focuses on the road, and I lay my head back on the seat, contemplating my hot mess of a life.
What in the world am I going to do with a baby? Am I really going to have to willingly speak to my cousin Rosalie and ask for my baby daddy's phone number? What has the world come to?
Wait a minute…If Edward is Rosalie's friend who pretended to be her boyfriend then maybe he'll be at this shindig. Grabbing my phone, I text Delbert.
Did Rosalie invite Edward?
Delbert: I don't know.
Well find out! Geez louise, Del. Investigate!
Delbert: I just asked her. She invited him but doesn't know if he's coming.
Thanks, Del. You're a doll.
Delbert: You owe me a beer.
Okay, I'll buy you two.
Delbert: Dallas is sitting on Rosalie's lap right now.
A picture comes through on my phone, and I dry heave between my legs, and mom's like what the hell, Bella and don't you dare throw up in my car and then I'm pulling over!
"No," I say, sitting back up. "I'm fine. Just drive."
"You're a pain in my ass, I swear. I was thinking, I should have brought a date. Your father is going to be up that Sally's ass, and I'm dateless. Why didn't I think of this!"
"It's Sue."
"That's what I said…Sandra."
I crack up, and mom chuckles with me. "Maybe there will be some singles roaming around."
"Ugh, mom. No!"
She scoffs. "I'll have you know, I'm in my prime, young lady."
"Stop!"
Delbert, don't ever scare me like that again. I almost threw up all over mom's car.
Delbert: I told you not to bring her!
I told you she'd come. She's a part of this family, Delbert. Don't you dare banish her.
Delbert: You keep her away from my mom, or so help me…
I'm not babysitting her.
A video comes through, and Dallas is sitting on Rosalie's lap still, but you can hear him saying, I can't wait till yer ma wife, Rose Posie. Imma fuck ya real good tuh-night. Put a baby in that there pretty belly.
I start gagging and mom's screaming, and I'm going to kill Delbert.
I'll keep her away from Aunt Mary, I type furiously.
Delbert: LMFAO.
I'll see you soon.
Delbert: See ya, Little Bella.
I close my eyes and take a siesta before I have to interact with the Swans and Blacks again so soon.
Twice in one year.
What did I do to deserve this?
Thank you, Rosalie.
Thank you.
…
…
…
I'm running through the woods, tripping over my own feet and my heart is pounding so fast I feel like it's getting ready to stop beating altogether.
Stop beating, heart.
Die, heart.
Fail, heart.
I feel him closer behind me, and I pick up my pace. I jump over a log and sway through the trees, but then I come to a stop at the edge of a cliff and freeze.
My arm pits are sweating, my ass is drenched, and my crotch is wet with sweat from this horror filled trek through woods.
"Come out, come out, wherever ya are," he calls, and I hold my stomach as I bend over and retch all over rocks and twigs. "Imma gonna catch you, Bella, and then Imma gonna eat ya."
I shuffle to the right and the mountain just drops away, and then I shuffle to the left and that side drops away. My arms wheel as I balance myself on the ledge, the only options are to my death over that cliff or into the arms of Dallas Willis, the red-headed cousin fucker.
His fiery hair comes into view, and when I look down he's naked, his fiery crotch all hard and pointing at me. "Gotcha!"
I back up and fall over the edge and scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Bella!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Bella!"
My back lands on something, and my body bows and when I open my eyes, the sun is blinding me, but I start kicking my feet and twisting my body, shrieking, "Get your hands off me! Don't you dare touch with me that thing! Let GO!"
I fall back and land on a hard body and roll away, coming into a crouch in front of…Delbert?
"Del?"
"Bella Marie Swan," my mother yells, running around the car. "What in the world is wrong with you!"
I look up at her, then back down at Delbert, and then behind me at the house to see Aunt Mary and Uncle Henri standing on the porch staring down at me crouched like some Charlie's Angel in their yard.
I straighten to a standing position, and dust off my clothes. "I wanted to make a good entrance."
Delbert cracks up, and mom says, "You need to behave yourself."
Oh, says the lesbian face fucker.
Delbert gets to his feet, dirt covering his clothes, and his glasses are laying on the ground. I bend down and pick them up, setting them back on his face.
"Sorry, Del."
He snorts and wraps an arm around me, leading me to the back of the car. "What the fuck, Little Bella."
I shudder, and say, "You don't want to know. It was red and hard and coming right at me."
He laughs and grabs my bag and leads me up the steps.
"Aunt Mary," I blush. "Uncle Henri. Hello."
They nod their hellos and then focus back on my mom. Aunt Mary is holding her hand, and I jerk my eyes up to Delbert to find him glaring with those big eyes of his, and I press my lips together and continue into the house, pretending I didn't notice that fuckery.
I push through the front door and head into the kitchen for some water. I drain a water bottle and then fill it up at the sink.
"Lookie who we have here," Dallas says from behind me, and I turn around and throw my water at his face before running out of the room.
…
…
…
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this," I say, staring up at the beautiful, brick building. "I was picturing a barn."
"Just wait until you see the inside."
I follow Delbert up the stairs for Rosalie's dress rehearsal, kind of excited that we're not outside in the woods or some shit, but then Delbert opens the doors and my hopes are dashed.
I mean, it's not woods, but there are hay bales and wagon wheels and saw dust everywhere. Very honky and very tonky.
She must really love Dallas and his cock.
Oh God, don't think about it!
"Told you," Delbert says at my disgusted expression.
There are pictures everywhere of Rosalie and Dallas. On the tables, on the walls, stuck to the wagons, hanging from the ceiling. I don't know where to fucking look.
"This is horrific," I hiss, catching up with Delbert as he leads us to one of the tables. He pulls my chair out, and I sit in the wooden chair. Before Delbert sits, I get the picture of Rosalie and Dallas and put it face down on the table. "Do we get food?"
"I think chili beans and corn bread."
What the fuck?
"Okay," I say, ignoring that piece of information. "I wonder if dad is coming."
"He is. He's walking Rosalie down the aisle."
Oh, good God. She's always tried to steal my dad. Her dad is a no-good piece of shit, but ever since we were small children, she's tried to weasel her way into his heart and replace me. Now, she wants him to walk her down the aisle before I've even walked down the aisle.
The nerve of her.
"Bella!"
"Kill me, Delbert. Get that knife," I say, pointing to the butter knife next to his paper plate. "And shove it right through my heart."
He chuckles and pushes his glasses up his nose.
"I'm serious! She's coming, Del. Oh my God, save me."
"Bella, hi," Rosalie says, yanking me from my chair and hugging me, full body.
"Rosie…" I say, leaving off Posie. Dallas ruined that nickname for life.
"I'm so glad you're here. Look, I have someone I want you to meet." She lets me go and I turn to see the blonde smiling at me from the other side of Rosalie, and I feel like this is Edward all over again. I look at the blonde, then I look at Rosalie, and then back at the blonde, then my eyes move down to Delbert, and he's drooling. "This is Maribella. Maribella, this is Bella."
Maribella giggles.
Oh my God, she's the goddess of all goddesses.
"Hello," she says, holding out her hand. "I'm Rosalie's maid of honor."
Rosalie squeals, and I am kind of suspicious. "You remember Edward, don't you," Rosalie says, and I stare at her in a state of confusion. "This is his real girlfriend."
Delbert chokes on…peanuts, and I cough with him and clear my throat real loud, like auugggggg, and then eeeeeeeeggggggguuuhhhhh, and then grab my throat, rubbing it roughly before saying, "Oh really. That's…funny?"
Maribella laughs lovingly and says, "He'll be around tonight. I'll reintroduce you."
"Haahahahaahahaah hehehehehehehhehe," I laugh, hysterically, and then say, "Excuse me," and grab Delbert and pull him from the room.
I open the first door I see and shove Delbert inside before slamming it shut. Flipping a switch, I turn on the light, and cry, "He has a girlfriend. Edward has a girlfriend. It's not Rosalie, of course, but Maribella. Maribella! Maribella! Bella! Her name is Bella for crying out loud. That's my name."
"She's fucking hot," Delbert says, and I snap my fingers in front of his bulging, magnified eyes.
"Focus, Delbert!"
"So what," he says. "You fucked him. It doesn't seem like she knows."
"Of course she doesn't know," I yell. "He's not going to tell her he had sex with Bella in the mountains up against a tree while her family was coyote hunting!"
Delbert covers his mouth, but I still hear his snort, and I slap him in the arm. "This isn't funny!"
I bend over and deep breathe with my hand on my knees.
Edward's with Maribella.
Edward had sex with me…Bella.
I'm pregnant with Edward's child.
Maribella doesn't know Edward slept with me…Bella.
What the holy fuck is going on here?
"Are you okay?" Delbert asks.
"No, no, I am not okay. Not okay at all."
"Do you need some water? A paper bag?"
"I'm pregnant," I say.
"What!" Delbert screeches.
I raise my head and stare at his even larger eyes, and say, "I'm knocked up, Del. There's a bat in my cave. A baby in my uterus. I'm pregnant. Holy shit…I'm pregnant!"
"What!" Delbert screeches again.
I leave Delbert speechless in the closet in search of a bathroom, so I can puke up my guts. I wander the halls, talking crazy shit to myself, and when I get to the last door down the hall and there's no bathroom, I turn around and yell, "Where's the goddamn bathroom, people?"
No one answers, thank God, since there's no one actually in the hall with me.
I wander back down the hall, and Delbert pushes out of the closet when I walk back by and smacks me right in the face.
"Shit. Are you okay?"
There's blood dripping into my mouth and down my chin, so no I'm not okay.
I'm not okay at all.
…
…
…
Dad's drunkenly walking Rosalie down the fake aisle as Dallas stands at the front, grinning like a lunatic as his wife-to-be giggles her way up to him.
Just looking at Dallas makes me want to wash my mouth out with a bar of soap even though that kiss we shared was years ago. I can't believe I kissed him.
What the fuck was I thinking!
"Git er, Dallas," Melvin yells, and I choke on a laugh.
Dad walks back to Sue, and mom is sitting with Aunt Mary, glaring at them. I don't get it.
"We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony…"
They both pretend to say their vows, but not their real ones because after all, those are for the real day. They real kiss though, and when Dallas tries to climb Rosalie like a tree, I grab Delbert and say, "I need a drink."
Delbert says, "Is that safe?"
"Oh fuck you, Delbert."
He laughs and hugs me, and I've never wanted to be more drunk in my life.
…
…
…
Last night, I saw Edward from afar and hightailed it the fuck out of there. Delbert chased me as I ran around the full parking lot looking for his truck, and when I couldn't find it, he yelled, it's across the street, for fuck's sake, Bella!
Once we were back at Uncle Henri and Aunt Mary's, I went straight to bed. Delbert slept on the floor, and I slept until late morning.
Now, it's the wedding, and Dallas is reciting his vows…
"Rosie Posie," he says, grabbing both of her hands, and Delbert side-eyes me when Dallas continues. "Yer the sunshine of my life. I dinnit know I loved ya until ya told me." He laughs, and I have to put a hand over my mouth to stop the loud chuckle that wants to burst free. "You are amazin' and gorgeous, and I can't wait to have ya forever." Rosalie sniffles and smiles at Dallas like he is her entire universe, which is kind of sweet really. "Go on now, give me a kiss."
Rosalie kisses him, and I see their tongues, and Delbert is like, "Fuck, stop," when they continue this for a good five minutes.
"Dallas Joel Willis, you're the apple of my eye." I side-eye Delbert, and he chuckles. "You are amazing, and you have the sweetest soul." I side-eye Delbert again, and he snorts. "I remember when Aunt Mary brought you and Uncle Henri home, it was love at first sight. You had your sights on another, though," she says, and finds my eyes in the crowd.
Good God, don't look at me!
"Little Bella, you were so obsessed with her."
"What the actual fuck is she doing, Del? Tell her to stop! Everyone is staring at me!" I hiss, yanking on his arm.
"What do you want me to do!" He hisses out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm not going to go up there!"
Dallas laughs like a goofy son of a bitch, and I avoid all eyes, everyone's eyes and stare at the ground wishing it would swallow me up.
"All those summers ago, when Aunt Renee found you and Bella in that uncompromising position…"
"Oh fuck," Delbert laughs.
Is this really happening right now? Is she fucking insane? Is it dad she wants? She can have him. Just stop this nonsense, fucking Rosie Posie, and you can have dad! I'll even wrap him up like a gift! Just shut your whore mouth!
"I was devastated," she says, and Dallas is all, "Aww, honey, no," and I'm all barf.
"But then the next summer, I didn't see you again, and all I wanted was to see you again. Seven weeks ago, you crawled in my tent, and I felt like I was home. I love you. I can't wait to be your wife and give you babies."
"Yeah, doggy," Dallas shouts, and Delbert and I, we both fucking lose it, cracking up so loud that the people next to us glare daggers. The lady is hissing between her teeth, spitting all over me, and I'm fucking dying.
"You may now kiss the bride…"
I turn away from the kissing and find myself locking eyes with Edward across the room.
Two-timing hussy, I want to yell.
Baby daddy, I want to shout.
Your sperm made a baby inside me, I want to scream.
But instead, I glare at him and try to keep the drool from slipping through my lips. He's just as gorgeous now as he was then, and gosh damn him for making me want to fuck him again.
Hours later, Delbert is drunk off his ass, dancing with cousins and non-cousins, and Rosalie and Dallas sneak away to go on their honeymoon.
Thank the good Lord for that.
Mom grabs Uncle Henri and bumps into Dad and Sue on her way to the dance floor. She stares them down as she starts grinding all over Uncle Henri's junk, and I stare in horror as Aunt Mary joins them, pushing against mom's front until she's humping her crotch. Mom grins over Aunt Mary's shoulder, and when Uncle Henri bumps mom's ass over and over, I find Delbert's horrified eyes, and quickly turn away before he asks me to put myself between that fuckfest or something.
"Bella," Delbert yells, and I start walking toward the exit.
"Bella," Delbert screams, and I run out the doors, looking over my shoulder to see Delbert trying to make his way to our moms and his step-dad who are practically fucking having a threesome on sawdust.
Laughing, I turn back around and bump into…
"Edward! Hi. How are you? I met your girlfriend yesterday. Omg, she's so pretty."
His green eyes are wide and amused, and I poke a finger in his chest, ready to give him a piece of my mind or fuck him, I don't know which yet.
He grabs my finger and then laces his fingers through mine before pulling me down the long hallway. His hand is just as big as I remember, and no, no, don't take me in there, I shout in my mind when he opens the door to the supply closet.
He slams the door and pushes me against it. He crushes his lips against mine, and I growl and yank him closer.
Maribella…
His tongue slides into my mouth, and I moan, and yank him closer.
Marcella who?
His hands slide down my back and grip my ass, squeezing and massaging, and I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist.
Fuck Marilyn.
"Fuck," he rasps, kissing my cheek, across my jaw, until he's biting my ear. I writhe in his arms, rubbing my crotch against the rock-hard erection hiding beneath his jeans.
"I want that…" I jerk my pulsing crotch against his erection hard. "In me…right now."
His tongue is back in my mouth, and I'm ripping at his hair as he starts to yank my dress up my waist. He rips my precious panties off me, just rips them right off my ass, and stuffs them in my mouth, making me gag and then I spit them out in his face, and growl angrily, "Fuck me, Edward!"
I bite his chin and lick his cheek. I suck his jaw and nibble his ear. When I feel him probing at my soaking center, I throw my head back, banging it on the door.
"You're fucking hot…so fucking wet," he groans and slams inside me.
"Oh my God," I cry out, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling him so full inside me.
He fucks me savagely, biting my chest and sucking my neck, and I feel like I'm screaming inside this small, dirty closet.
Am I screaming?
"Bella, shh…" Edward pants, grinding all up inside me, and I hiss, "You, shhh!"
He laughs and fucks me harder, and I grip his hair and yank his head back and slam my mouth against his. Our teeth clash and our tongues tangle, and when he reaches down and flicks my clit, I fucking explode, milking his cock so damn tight.
"Oh fuck," he hisses, fucking me harder and faster, and when he finally comes, he bites my neck so hard, I slap him upside the head.
"Shit, sorry," I gasp. "But fuck, that hurt. Am I bleeding?"
I reach around for the light switch and flip it on, and when I see Melvin sitting in the corner of the small space, I scream and yell and slide from Edward's arm, yanking my dress down, and Edward looks over his shoulder and says, "What the fuck?"
"That's cousin Melvin. Oh my God, is he dead? Check him!"
"You check him," he says, eyes wide in horror, while his hands zip up his pants.
"Edward, check him!"
"Fine, okay," he says, moving to Melvin who sits in the corner. He squats down and reaches up to check the pulse at his neck, and when Melvin groans and moves, Edward jumps up so fast, he bumps into the shelf and knocks shit over, and I crack up.
I can't believe we just fucked with Melvin in the same closet.
That's so gross.
Once I wipe the mirth from my eyes, I say, "I need to tell you something," and push open the door.
We step out into the hall and run into Maribella.
She looks between the two of us, back and forth, forth and back, and then runs off down the hall like a broken princess.
"Oh fuck," I say, and Edward looks over at me before running after Maribella.
I'm pregnant, I want to yell!
Edward stops and looks over his shoulder, his green eyes wide, and holy fuck, did I say that out loud?