Pure Guilt
Chapter 2When I woke up this morning I felt normal, felt as is everything was as it should be. That is until I rolled onto my back and my arm bumped into something warm and soft. It all came back to me in a flash…the night before, Riddick stepping through my door just like he did not so long ago, the girl with him named Jack…and all those old feelings I had for Riddick came slamming back into me. But with him, he also brought that feeling of danger, an intensity that so fit with the news descriptions of what Riddick really was. It made me wonder about the sanity of the girl he had with him. Did she not know who she was tagging along with and where it could all lead?
I turned my head to the side and took a look at this girl sleeping next to me and for the life of me I couldn't even imagine what she was still doing with him and why he was keeping her with him.
Slowly and almost painfully, I pulled myself out of bed, gathered my things and headed for the shower. The apartment was very quiet and I made as little noise as possible…showered, pulled back the mass of curls into a loose long braid, dressed, decided to skip breakfast, and headed down the hall to the living room. I stopped just short of entering, suddenly afraid to have to pass by Riddick for some reason. It made sense though. The Riddick in there was someone I didn't know. He was new to me and I was going to have to start all over with the relationship and I wasn't even sure I wanted to pursue that, but I could already feel myself being drawn to him. I was going to fight it this time.
I drew in a deep breath and dared a quick peek into the semi-dark room. Riddick was on the couch, on his back like I've seen before and I could feel something in the pit of my stomach, an urge of some kind to go to him, to crawl onto that couch with him like I had once before. But I didn't. I set my focus on the door and forced my trembling legs to cooperate and move me to that destination.
"Sleep well?" And I nearly stumbled and fell at the sound of this deep, sultry, rough from sleep, voice. My hand was on the doorknob but I could feel my body trying to turn in his direction.
"Just fine," I managed to say, forcing my body to not go over to him but I couldn't stop myself from looking. And there he was, his shining silvery purple eyes moving over me, glowing brightly…coldly. I could only stand to look for a second before I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. I have to admit I was nervous but there was something else that I couldn't deny but wanted to. That same feeling he managed to draw out last time was returning. The feeling of wanting to be loved by him. No, I can't go through that again.
"I have to work so I guess I'll see you two later." He didn't respond he just kept watching me as I opened the door and stepped out into the cool morning. I couldn't move right off so I leaned against the door and tried to get a hold of myself, tried to calm down and breathe normally. This was going to be tough but again, I didn't have much choice in the matter. I couldn't turn him away and especially not now that he had a very young girl with him.
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I kept myself as busy as possible at work but I still found my mind drifting, my thoughts going back to Riddick. Every time that happened I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts and got back to work. It couldn't have been a more boring useless day.
When I got to my front door that evening I put the key in and hesitated. How was all this going to work? Was Riddick going to just hang around until he decided it was safe for him to move on? And what about Jack? Will she be going with him? Enough…I decided to just ask. Make them lay it all out on the table and then we could go from there.
I pushed open the door and nearly dropped all my things. All the furniture in the living room was pushed up to the walls to make the area bigger and Riddick and Jack were in the middle…fighting.
"What the hell is going on here?" I asked and Jack looked over at me, all big eyes and smiles. But before she could even respond, Riddick kicked at her leg, right behind her knee and she went down hard.
"Hey!" she protested from her position on the floor.
"You gotta keep your eyes open," Riddick said as he straightened up.
"They were open, I just got distracted." Riddick shook his head and held his hand out to her.
"There are distractions everywhere, kid but you can't be distracted by them." Jack mumbled something under her breath as she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet.
I was frozen in place by Riddick's interaction with Jack. I never thought he would act this way with someone while he was in his right mind, especially a kid…a girl.
"We didn't break anything." The sound of Jack's voice brought me back and I noticed they were both staring at me. "Riddick was just showing me some moves." I nodded slowly and collected my voice.
"Have you guys eaten?" I asked. Jack moved to the other side of Riddick and slapped him on the arm to get his attention.
"We ate. I think there's some left in there for you," she said as Riddick took on a fighter's stance and they were back at it. I watched them for a moment, watched how fluidly Riddick moved, how his eyes focused on his target, and the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. Jack was not as graceful but it looked as though she was going to catch on fast.
I walked to the kitchen, leaving behind the sounds of Jack's protests as Riddick knocked her down again. The kitchen was another surprise. I assumed it would be a big mess but it wasn't and there was dinner left over for me. This was too weird. I stayed in the kitchen and ate, barely tasting the food as my mind wandered aimlessly. I listened to their fighting, to bodies coming into contact with the floor or each other. I only hoped Riddick was careful with this girl. She looked very fragile and it would take very little effort on his part to snap her delicate neck.
After my mind stopped wandering and the sounds quieted down in the living room, I looked down at my plate to see it empty. I don't even remember eating it all. So, I turned around to put the dishes in the sink when I felt it. It was unmistakable. The charge in the room that made my skin break out in goose bumps. I couldn't move and I couldn't hear anything. My ears strained to catch any sound but there was nothing.
I had to mentally convince myself that I was alone in the kitchen and that it was all in my head. But when I turned around there was solid proof, right there in front of me that told me I was wrong. Riddick stood just inside the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, goggles firmly in place; watching me with an intense…glare? If I could see his eyes I would know for sure. I had no idea what to say or do so I looked right back at him. Earlier I had plenty of questions for him but I couldn't put any sentences together at the moment.
Riddick was challenging me. Wanting to see how long I could hold out. Maybe he was trying to intimidate me, which was working. I knew I would lose this silent game. It was only a matter of time before my thoughts came together.
"What happened to you?" I asked suddenly. Riddick gave no indication that he heard me and he gave no answer. "You don't want to talk to me that's your choice," I said in frustration, throwing my hands up. But just as I had said that there was a ripple in his hard features that threw me off. Almost like he remembered something. Something that made him hurt. I wish it were there a little longer because the look that replaced it was dark and almost angry. That's not the look I ever wanted to see on this man and when he started toward me, I consciously stepped back until I hit the counter. Riddick didn't stop until he had invaded my personal space and his body was pressed against mine.
Isn't this what I wanted? To be touched by him again? Then why was I so afraid? Riddick tilted his head and ran his nose down my cheek to my jaw, pausing to take a deep breath before moving lower to my neck.
There must be something seriously wrong with me. First I'm terrified but as soon as he gets close enough, my blood begins to boil and I start to feel weak with some sort of animal need. This was completely insane. My hands were shaking as the need to touch him became overwhelming. I was proud of myself for holding back but as soon as I felt his teeth nip at the tender skin on my neck…I broke.
My hands immediately sought out his face and I pulled him away from my neck and to my lips. He didn't seem surprised at all by my actions. He easily fell into the kiss, pressing hard to my lips. It wasn't long before his tongue slipped into my mouth and I welcomed it. I have waited so long to taste him that the sensible side of me was kicked to the curb and all I wanted was this man. Right here, right now.
I raked my nails down his chest, feeling the deep rumble in my mouth as he groaned. I went too long without hearing that sound. For some strange reason I actually welcomed the animal in him. I wanted to experience this new side of him; wanted it so bad I could feel the animal in myself tearing its way out.
But like all things, especially when I want them, they must eventually end. Riddick pulled away from my lips almost reluctantly but there was something else driving him, something else that made him pull away. It was the real him. And I was about to get a peek at it.
He chuckled deeply as he looked into my eyes and I could see that he was mocking me, laughing at me.
"Works every time," he whispered before letting me go and backing away.
"You asshole," I bit out, still visibly shaking from the encounter.
"You know," he said calmly as he put his hand on the doorframe and blocked the door with his body as if I would try to leave. "I knew it would be easy, I just didn't know it would be that easy."
Did he just call me easy? Fuck that. I'm might be a lot of things but easy isn't one of them. I stood there in shock, knowing that there would be no way to explain to him what we had going months ago because he wouldn't remember and I'd probably sound like and idiot.
"No argument…I like that," he said, full of humor." The longer I tried to think of something to say the pointless it got. I searched the tile on the kitchen floor hoping to find an answer but there was nothing, so I just blurted something out.
"I'm letting you stay here, I don't need any shit from you." I sounded weak and so pathetic and he knew it.
"Then kick us out," he stated firmly, no humor this time. I brought my eyes up to his, which were now covered by his dark goggles. It was like he already knew I wouldn't kick them out. He wanted the upper hand and god dammit, he had it.
I stared at him for a long time, not breaking eye contact because I didn't want to appear as weak as I felt. Right now I would give anything to know what he was thinking, even if it was just one thought, but he was good. No way in hell was I ever gonna find out anything that was going on in his head if he didn't want me to.
Riddick was the one who gave up the staring game first but as he turned and left the room, he made it look as if he had actually won. If I would've backed down first it would've looked like I had become submissive and given in. I can't figure out how he can pull something like that off.
This was my place and my rules but when it came to Riddick, there were no rules and it became his place. I promised myself after Ned that I would never give in to another man again but it was different with Riddick…wasn't it?