Crystal blue eyes bored into mine. The Joker was actually sitting in my office! But I resisted the urge to yawn. Not because he was boring, not at all, but because I had been too excited to sleep much last night.
The man had not spoken a single word since sitting on the couch across from me. He simply stared at me. His pale white skin, green eyes and unnaturally red lips were striking in person and I focused on the way he sat. Sloppily. Lazily. Almost as if he were stoned but I knew better. Jeremiah had probably given him some sort of relaxer or tranquilizer before our first meeting as a precaution.
The thought annoyed me, though I didn't let it show. I wanted him clear headed. Despite his body language the intensity in his eyes sent a sort of electric charge through the air that I didn't fail to notice. "I see you have more than a few tattoos, Mister Joker. What might they signify?" I tried again. The question fell on deaf ears, he didn't react in the slightest to the fact that I was speaking yet he still stared at me. So far, a very unproductive 20 minutes. But I'm patient. I could play this game.
Dark circles made his eyes pop more and it appeared he was recovering from a multi busted lip and heavy bruises that were now a few days old. A sallow yellow color. A tiny fleeting smile spread across my cheeks. I had an idea. "Let's talk about Batman."
Success. The Clown Prince of Crime clenched his fists and started to laugh maniacally. The sound was deranged, loud, a little frightening and lasted much longer than it should have. I gripped my pen a bit tighter in case I needed it as a weapon. I'd aim for the Jugular. If it came down to me or him I'd try my damnedest to make it him. "You wanna talk about 'ole Batsy, eh?" He asked in a low, gravelly voice. "My greatest adversary, my biggest challenge! The reason I'm in this lovely place!" He would fluctuate his words in strange ways that didn't make sense to me.
I nodded. "Yes. Batman. Tell me about your relationship with him."
Very slowly, the Joker rolled his head around his shoulders. They cracked sickeningly. "Well, shucks, Doc, Bats and I go way back." His tone darkened. "To the beginning. To my birth. To the very creation of the creature here before you." He smiled hugely, displaying his grill and clenching his bound fist. Even his posture improved a bit. "The 'yin' to my 'yang' you might say." Highly excitable over Batman. I wrote in my notes.
"Your birth?" I questioned. I doubted he meant his literal birth. "The way you talk about him..." I paused to find the words I wanted. Almost like he was in love with him. Wouldn't that be something for the book!
"Go on..." He said curiously, leaning forward eagerly.
"It almost seems as though you're infatuated with him." I said matter of factly. Almost immediately I regretted it. The Jokers face turned to one of disgust and anger.
"That's not funny." He said as if he didn't understand the joke. "I ain't no fucking fag, Doc-tor." He sneered, rising from his seat. "I should prove it. Smash your pretty little face into your desk over. And over. Until you're gushing blood. Bound you so tightly you can't move a single muscle, like this facility takes great joy in doing to us, then I'd fuck you until can't feel anything ever again." Now he was standing in front of me. His words were spoken with great charisma. Like he was flirting. Very smooth. But I knew the threat was real.
"Please return to your seat so we can finish our conversation." I said calmly, looking up to him. I could see the slight strain of the muscles in his arms. The words put an anxiety in my core because I believed him. Honestly, that sounded like his version of letting someone off easy.
In a strange way he was handsome. But the crazy was too prominent. It took him from a 9 to a 4. I think he saw a little sliver of fear and how I gripped the pen but I can't be sure. If he did he chose not to acknowledge it.
"Oh, don't worry." He bent down to whisper in my ear and I clenched my pen, ready to use it if need be. "I'm not going to do that to you. Yet. But I will my dear, your question has offended me, you see." He returned to his seat with a creepy grin. I knew this man could do beyond unspeakable things to me and truth be told I was scared. "I'm not someone you want to offend, Pumpkin."
"Well, I apologize." I cleared my throat. "Also, I ask that you refer to me as Dr. Quinzel. 'Pumpkin' is highly unprofessional." He actually snorted at my words. Taking a deep breath (more to calm myself than anything, I think) I reorganized my thoughts. What had we been talking about? "Note made. But you said he was there when you were born. What do you mean by that?"
The Joker grinned again. "He created me. Pushed me over the edge. Then threw me in this God awful place." He did his best to gesture to the room through the cuffs. "I hate small confined spaces. Reminds me of my childhood." He said sarcastically and vaguely. What the hell did he mean about Batman creating him?
"If he created you... the way you are now... wouldn't that make him your father in a way?" I asked.
"You might not be as dumb as you look, 'Dr. Quinzel'." He appraised. When he spoke his eyes sort of lit up, like he was glad I understood. "Batman and I are the same. The mans just as insane as I am, have you seen how he dresses? On purpose? What a riot!" The Joker laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks. The laughter was infectious and I couldn't help but join in as I pictured it. It was pretty looney if you actually think about it.
"Don't forget his matching car!" I chuckled, shaking my head. Holy shit, I was sharing a laugh with the Joker. Highly unprofessional.
"You know Pumpkin, you're not half as bad as you seem." At my pointed look at the use of 'Pumpkin' again he raised his bound wrists in mock surrender. "Sorry doc, I was trying to compliment you."
"I appreciate it. Please, continue. Batman." I said seriously, though I cracked a smile after saying The Dork Knights name. I wasn't exactly a fan of Batman. Maybe because he had never saved me and I'd never seen him in person. He wasn't real to me and he didn't have a particular importance in my life. All he seemed to do was attract crazy people with mighty vengeances against him. Vengeances big enough to risk the city multiple times.
The Joker grinned. "All I want is to make him laugh, doc. Really laugh. He's always so serious. He won't kill anyone. He won't even kill me! How crazy is that?! I've long lost count of how many people I've killed, the accidents I've caused, the pure chaos. Precious memories. But still, he won't take me out. Won't put an end to me. Practically allows me to do as I wish. Insane. Tragic, really, I don't think the poor thing knows he's crazy." His tone was faux sympathetic.
Again, a perspective I had never considered. However... It sort of made sense, which utterly disturbed me. Why hadn't Batman ever killed him? Looking down at my case file his list of charges and escapes took up two pages. Why not just kill him and stop the threat for good? It made no sense. I wasn't quite sure how to respond and he didn't continue.
I'm not sure how long we sat in silence staring at each other. It wasn't long, maybe five minutes. The whole session the electric charge in the air hadn't disappeared at all. His eyes were so intense. Too intense , tap. There was Frank. Without waiting for a cue from me he opened the door, hand on his gun as always. "He didn't give you any trouble, did he?"
"No, we had a decent session, thank you."
"Alright, get up clown, back to your room." He sneered, grabbing the Joker's cuffs roughly and pulling him up. No doubt the harsh metal would cut into his skin. The sight angered me. The man was mentally ill for God's sake.
"Take it easy with my patient, Frank." I warned. The Joker turned to glance at me in mild surprise, smiling as always. But this one was darker for some reason. Maybe because Officer Boles was being a dick, who knows?
"He killed three of my crew when he busted out of here!" Frank said in disgust at me standing up for him. Oh. I hadn't known that. But still.
"Only three? I say next time let's aim for a hundred!" That chilling laugh returned. "Until next time, dear Doctor."
"Shut it." He pushed him toward the door and they left. I watched the door trying to organize my thoughts. The first session... Had gone pretty well. I couldn't wait to see him Friday and delve deeper into his mind. Excitedly I took my book to my desk and scribbled furiously, documenting some of the things he had said. What an interesting human being and I hadn't even scratched the surface. This book might actually be possible! But that was a bit optimistic. It was only one session.