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A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. Carly Simon
Isn't strange how the most painful or embarrassing memories come at you from no where? Have you ever just been thinking of absolutely nothing and you remember a moment that made you blush and shake your head in embarrassment? Perhaps the day that you laughed so hard that you peed on yourself in front of someone? Perhaps you remember a moment that you said something so embarrassing that you just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Or when you remember something that leaves your soul scarred. Perhaps you suddenly remember the day that you lost a loved one? Or you are slapped suddenly by the memory of the time you were cheated on by your first love.
Yes how strange that these memories seem to come to you without much thought. How they seem to come at the most random moments. How you wish they would disappear and never reappear again.
~*~ Flashback
Hinata stood alone next to the table of finger foods and drinks. Nursing her own drink in her small pale hands. She hated parties likes these even before she was married when she still lived with the Hyugas.
Everyone was so uppity they all seemed to think they were better than each other. The men competed in hand shakes, women competed in which one had the most expensive dress. What did it matter? She watched as a group of women giggled with each other knowing every well they all hated each other. Each one married to someone important. She didn't bother remembering names it didn't matter much to her she didn't need or want friends.
She saw the small group of women heading towards her and groaned inwardly. She plastered a small soft smile on her face.
"Hinata! We're so glad you came."
Hinata tried to rack her brain to find a name. Ah that's right it's Aiko a wife of damiyo. She was pretty dark black hair with piercing dark green eyes. She was dripping in jewelry. Her wrists were engulfed in white gold cuffs. Her slender neck adorned a beautiful emerald green necklace that had diamonds surrounds the emeralds. Dangling from her ears seemed to be the matching earring set of her necklace. A dark black shimmering dress hugged her curves it had a very deep plunge showing off the valley between her breasts. Her skin was neither tan nor pale. Stunning was a word to describe her.
"The pleasure is mine Aiko, this is a lovely party."
The hostess's smile brightened, "It is isn't it?"
Hinata restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Beautiful with an ego. That's why she hated these women there bodies and jewelry were distractions from the seemingly empty valley in their brains.
"We don't see you much Hinata." Said a blonde from the group.
Hinata nodded, "Yes well you know I'm so busy with house work and the works."
The women nodded these were the women that you saw with high ponytails swinging back and forth when they took their children to school, these were the women who wore high heels after 5, these were the women who made breakfast, lunch and dinner that you would see in a high end restaurant, these were the women who loved to compete in who had the biggest and best parties, who's schedules were packed with after school events and party events. These were the women who felt that they were born and breed to be mothers and housewives nothing more nothing less.
"So Hinata when are you gonna give that hunk of a man a child! You've been married for 3 years now!" A woman with a high pitched squeaky voice asked.
Hinata stiffened it wasn't that she never got pregnant she had. But how could she explain that the pregnancies never got far into the second term. The first two pregnancies were miscarried early into the first trimester and the third died into the second trimester. Her husband was so enraged the third time. His face was so red. His body shook with anger. Fornsome reason he thought it was her fault and he made sure to take it out on her.
She did her best to watch what she ate and did. But it didn't seem to matter.
The women started to shift from one foot to another not liking the silence Hinata was giving off. Her far off stare and blank face made them realize that they had made her uncomfortable with the question.
Aiko jabbed the woman with a squeaky voice with her elbow and gave her a glare, "Ah well Hinata we're sorry to bother you. We'll see you around."
Hinata just nodded not really caring to answer them back.
Hinata didn't really know why that memory came back to her. It's not like she was really dying for children. She was actually glad that she never had any with him she didn't want to bring a child into a home filled with abuse.
Her ex-husband though deemed her a failure for not being able to provide him with children. His abuse escalated with each miscarriage.
Hinata sighed and stuck her hand into the cool mud digging up the dead roots of her old garden. It was now barren and dead nothing but small twigs were flowers use to be.
It had been five months since her father came to get her. She had gained weight and felt much better and stronger physically. The doctor gave her the go ahead to do her old hobbies and to train to build up her muscles.
She decided to tackle her garden and than train. She pulled out the dead root and dug a bigger hole for a new jasmine flower. The smell from the flower calming.
"Hey nee-chan."
Hinata turned her head to the left to see her younger sister. She had grown up to be such a beauty. Her long chocolate brown hair was in a braided and had a small white bow at the end. She had on a lovely dark blue kimono.
Hinata gave her a small smile, "Hello, when did you get back from your mission?"
"Oh not long ago maybe an hour or two."
Hinata nodded. Her sister was a Jōnin now and she couldn't be more delighted and happy for her sister.
She patted the patch of grass next to her indicating her younger sister to sit next to her. As she turned back to putting the jasmine flower into the ground covering it with dirt.
"Sorry about your garden we should have taken better care of it."
Hinata shrugged it didn't really matter to her she was glad she could replant the garden all over again.
Hanabi squirmed she didn't like this new Hinata. This Hinata didn't talk much all her communication was verbal. A shrug here, a nod there and a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Have you seen any of your old friends?"
Hinata stiffened a little. Yes Kiba and Shino had come to visit her a few times but the first visit perhaps was the most awkward.
~*~ Flashback
A knock woke Hinata up from her slumber, "Who is it."
"It is me Hinata your father."
Hinata told him to come in. She watched her father slowly come in to her room his old yet strong body making its way close to her bed.
"Your old teammates are here to see you. I don't think it's such a good for them to see you in your current... Situation." Hinata had to give it her father he always made things sound so professional.
"No it's fine. Tell them I will be out in a few minutes."
As soon as her father left she got up her body was slowly recovering but she felt so tired and sleepy. Apparently that was a side effect of referring your body.
She took off her pajamas and settled for a simple black t-shirt and gray capris. Not really bothering with anything formal. She hadn't seen Kiba and Shino for years.
As she made small steps to the area where they kept the guests she slowly opened the sliding doors to see her old teammates.
A small smile formed on her lips. They had grown to be men. Shino still had on sunglasses but at least his face was visible and Kiba still had long hair and that awful goatee.
"Hinata!" Kiba quickly ran up to Hinata and gave her a bear hug. He had missed her so much. 5 years of not seeing his old teammate and one of his best friends had killed him.
He and Shino had tried to visit her but her husband had refused to allow them to even enter their house let alone see her.
He knew that guy was a douche the first day he saw him. He smelled like a snake and rat put together and his obvious unnatural possessiveness of Hinata was unnerving. Neither him or Shino thought the guy really cared for Hinata. It kinda felt like he was just keeping Hinata hostage not letting her see her friends or family for some reason or another.
Seeing her now so thin and fragile bad his stomach sink. She looked paler than usual her once long tinted blue hair was lack luster and brittle. Her eyes sunken and bag under them.
Hinata slowly made her way to sit in front of the two men. Make sure to slowly sit on the floor and put her legs under her.
"Hinata you look...ill."
Kiba rolled his eyes, "Smooth Shino real smooth."
Hinata gave them a small smile one that didn't reach her eyes or convey any feeling or thought.
"We heard about the divorce how do you feel?" Kiba asked. He was genuinely worried for her emotional state.
Hinata shrugged. She didn't have much to say on that note she didn't feel one way or the other. She didn't feel anything to be frank. She wondered if they knew the whole story. Probably not.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, well uncomfortable for the two men Hinata was quite fine with the silence she had long settled for verbal communication like nods and shrugs over words. It was safer that way. Better.
"We missed you." Kiba said in a small voice. He didn't like this Hinata. He missed the small shy bubbly one with a soft gentle voice. This one was unsettling.
Hinata smiled, "I missed you two as well."
The descended into another period of silence until the two men decided to let her rest.
Before they left both gave her a hug and Hinata had to try her best to hold back the tears threatening to make their way out.
She wanted nothing more than to cry and let out all her feelings that day but she didn't. She wouldn't. She had long forgotten about getting this massive weight off her chest. What good would it do to give it to someone else this burden that felt like it was going to drown you in sorrow? Even the thought of someone holding this burden made her shudder. No. She would keep everything locked inside.
They had come to visit her a few more times and she had tried to be a bit more talkative. But in the end it was usually Kiba who filled the silence.
Kiba told her that Kurenai and her daughter were going to come and visit her which she didn't mind. Mirai had to be perhaps six now. She couldn't wait to see the small girl.
"Hinata?" Hanabi asked hesitantly
"Hmm." Hinata responded.
"Why don't you talk anymore? I mean you aren't... you aren't Hinata anymore."
She wasn't Hinata anymore. She was the shell of the former Hinata. The old Hinata had long died. Had long given up. How can one be bubbly and smile when they are faced with the reality of the world around them.
Hinata shrugged. Hanabi groaned, "That's not an answer Hinata!"
She watched as her younger sister stood abruptly. Her small delicate hands balled up into fists. Her eyes filled with unshed tears.
Hanabi looked down at her sister the sun beaming down her. She looked so beautiful her pale hands covered with dirt. Her cheeks slightly pink from the sun. Her long hair was now back to its previous luster and her curves were also back. But she... Hinata... the Hinata she knew her nee-chan wasn't back.
"I want Hinata back. I want the woman who use to light this place up. The woman who walked with shy but sure steps. The woman who smiled and smiled a real smile not this fake shit. I want my sister!"
Hinata looked at her sister. She was seventeen now the same age she was when the Fourth war happened. The same age she was when she got engaged and only a year younger than she was when she got married. Would Hanabi have stuck around with a monster for five years? Probably not.
"Answer me!"
She didn't have any words to answer her sister so she said the truth looking back at the now planted jasmine flower.
"That Hinata is dead and she isn't coming back Hanabi."
She watched her young sister wipe the tears that spilled down her face. Her body shaking as she walked away.
Hinata shut her eyes and took a deep breathe. She felt light headed. She needed to lie down.
Before she could even get her hand on the handle of the door she heard a maid call her. She groaned inwardly she wanted nothing more than to rest.
"Hinata-sama, I am sorry to bother you but the Hokage is here. He wishes to see you."
Naruto was here? She hadn't seen him since the day she got back.
"Where is he?"
"We put him in your fathers office per your fathers request."
Hinata nodded only the best for the Hokage. He wasn't some visitor like Kiba or Shino. She made her way to her fathers office. Knocking on the door. Until she heard a deep voice saying to come in.
Hinata entered into the room to see only Naruto but not her father. He had on his Hokage robes with a black and orange shirt peaking from the front. His hair was cut now. She liked it longer not that it really mattered what she liked. His eyes were sparkling blue.
Hinata bowed. It was only proper, "Hokage-sama it's a pleasure to have you in the Hyuga manor."
"Huh? Come on Hinata knock that off we're friends! Hokage-sama is way too formal for us." He gave her bright smile.
Hinata nodded, she watched as Naruto's tall muscular frame took small steps to examine the paintings on the wall. One was of mountains but the sky was dark like blood and the rain was black. It was to show despair in times of war and that picture was exactly how Hinata felt on the inside.
"I see you're doing better." Naruto commented taking in her overall improved appearance.
Hinata nodded.
"So I know you must be wondering why I'm here."
She was. "Hinata I have some... well I wouldn't call it bad news I would call it just a heads up really."
Hinata raised her eyebrows. A heads up about what exactly.
"You see we sent the divorce papers to your husband to sign them but he refuses and without his signature you are still legally married."
Hinata scoffed uncharacteristically. She wasn't surprised he wasn't about to let her go how without a fight.
"Don't worry we aren't going to let him get to you in anyway." She wasn't worried she would kill herself before going back to him.
"But the only problem is that if we seek an annulment on the grounds of physical abuse the word is bound to get out. We are gonna try to do everything we can to make that bastard sign those papers okay?"
Hinata nodded. This was gonna be a long road ahead and everyday she was legally married to him was another day in hell. She just wanted this to be over with.
"Do have any questions Hinata?" Naruto asked concerned with her lack of questions or emotions. Her face was blank. He wasn't getting any emotion from it.
Hinata blinked at her former crush and shook her head. Not really. There wasn't really anything to discuss.
Naruto sighed, "Hinata... maybe you should get some counseling. Get everything off your chest. It would be good for you."
Hinata blinked at him. He wasn't serious was he? "No thank you Hokage-sama."
"Hinata I'm worried about you. Your father is worried about you. Kiba and Shino are worried about you. They are all telling me that you barely talk and I can see they aren't without concern."
Hinata was bubbling with anger. Talk? Talk about what? What did they want to hear? The disgusting words he use to throw at her? Or hear about the endless stories of hitting and beatings.
"There is nothing to say." Hinata said her voice had a slight edge to it.
Naruto walked towards her. He towered over the small woman. "Hinata please... let us in."
Hinata stared into his eyes and with every single courage she could muster up she told him, "Leave."
"Hinata."
"Leave." Hinata said her voice slight louder. How dare he. Let them in? What did they want to see? She was nothing but a broken piece of glass daring to cut any one who dared to come in. She was broken and she didn't want fixing because if she was fixed she could be broken again.
No one was coming in and she would never come out. She would never let anyone in again. How dare he. He of all people! He never even answered her confession. He didn't even come to her wedding! He cared now but he wasn't there when she needed him. How dare her father care now as well. He practically gave her to that monster. How dare they all. How dare they think that a little talk would solve everything!
Nothing was going to fix this black hole in her heart and she didn't want it fixed. She loved not feeling anything. Her heart use to leap to see Naruto the one person that she use to love with every fiber of her heart now she didn't care if she saw him or didn't see him. She use to hate the elders and her father but now she didn't even care about them.
She didn't want to hate or feel anything. She wanted this. To feel nothing for everybody. Everybody was on the same par. She didn't love or hate anyone. Because no one not a single damn person was going to get close to her ever again.
Naruto sighed and nodded his head, "As you wish Hinata."
Naruto left her in the office walking back to the Hokage tower. He had mountains of paper work to get to but he knew they were going to stay undone today he decide to just head home.
Seeing one of his most precious people like this was killing him. When Kiba and Shino had told him Hinata was different he didn't exactly understand what they meant but now he got it. He wanted to go beat the shit out of that bastard who made Hinata like this, but he also felt guilty. He should have stopped that wedding fucking Hyugas! Fucking Kakashi. But he couldn't really blame them well the Hyugas he could but everyone seemed to vouche for that monster in the beginning. He came from a wealthy well known family but it seemed they had secrets that needed finding out.
As he approached his house he felt a familiar chakra. "Well finally, I requested you about a month ago."
"I was on a mission that you sent me on dobe. What's so important that you made me come back?" Coming out of the shadows of the trees was the Former avenger Sasuke Uchiha.
Naruto opened the door to his mansion. He didn't really like it. It was too big for him and reminded him if how alone he was. He dug throw the small pile of files on the table.
Finally finding the one he wanted he handed it to Sasuke. "Get me everything on this family especially that guy on page 2."
"You're kidding right? This is below me."
Naruto rolled his eyes, "I'm the Hokage do as I say without back talk."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Well someone was touchy today. "Does this have something to do with that Hyuga girl?"
"How did you know about her?"
"Sakura told me that she was back and from the rumors going around in the hospital it doesn't sound like her marriage was peachy."
Naruto gritted his teeth and balled his fists. God he hated that disgusting pig who hurt Hinata. Every time he thought of that small fragile girl who walked into his office his heart clenched and his stomach lurched.
"Yes it's about her. I need that information like yesterday."
Sasuke nodded. "You got it."
He watched as Sasuke left. He was going to get Hinata out of this death sentence called a marriage if it was the last thing he did.
Alright some info this is set 5 years after the Fourth War. So Hinata and Naruto are 23 and Hanabi is 17. Now someone said they hoped Naruto wasn't single all this time. We'll get to Naruto in the next chapter don't worry.