CHAPTER TWO
Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.
Castle scowled as his finger jabbed repetitively on the laptop key that erased text one letter at a time. What had started out as merely the deletion of a couple of words had ended up being the erasure of over half the page.
With a muttered oath, he suddenly highlighted the rest of the chapter and hit delete one more time before angrily slamming the laptop shut. He was going insane!
The quiet solitude of his house on the beach was proving more of a distraction than if he'd stayed in New York. He found the silence oppressive and had taken to putting the TV on in the background just to have some noise. But it still hadn't worked.
He just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, especially his book. Every time he wrote a paragraph about Nikki Heat, it automatically brought to mind Kate Beckett, which then led to him thinking of her with Demming and always seemed to culminate in him torturing himself with images of them together in the beach hut they'd booked for their getaway.
Being a writer, there weren't many scenarios he couldn't imagine and he'd dutifully sat through every one as though each were a punishment for not declaring his feelings for the detective sooner.
Fed up with the way his mind was beginning to wander yet again, he decided to go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air would do him some good today. It hadn't worked any of the previous four days that he'd taken a stroll, but he figured that if he kept trying, law of averages meant that someday soon it would.
Kicking his shoes off, he headed outside into the sun and thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his beige cotton trousers. His loose, white shirt was casually unbuttoned down to the middle of his stomach, revealing a good expanse of tanned flesh to the bright sun.
The sand was hot beneath his feet but he barely registered the heat as he sauntered aimlessly along the beach. Beside him the sea came into shore in gentle waves, the sun glinting off the rippling ocean as it constantly moved. He stopped for a moment then bent down and rolled the legs of his trousers up before continuing on. Moving down to the shoreline, he relished the feel of the cool water as it lapped unceasingly at his feet.
Why had doing the noble thing for once in his life left him feeling so…miserable? Wasn't knowing you'd done the right thing meant to make you feel good about yourself? Not this feeling of regret that kept persistently gnawing at his guts, making him feel permanently sick.
He smiled to himself wryly. In spite of how he felt, when it came down to it, Beckett was happy and that's all he honestly, really cared about. It was just a shame that he hadn't been the man to make her so.
Deep down he knew that his feelings of regret were directed solely at himself and his own little pity party because he'd failed to declare his feelings.
It was all his own fault and he knew it.
Staring out to sea, he tried to allow his surroundings to work their magic. The peaceful tranquillity of the beach was only broken by the sound of the ocean that continually ebbed and flowed. It should have been a soothing and relaxing noise. Instead it merely mocked him.
'Fool', it seemed to chant, each rolling wave taunting him over and over again. 'Fool'.
And he was a fool. Even now, although he knew that Beckett was with another man, the urge to return to her was strong…almost overpowering in its intensity. He had hoped that he'd be able to stay away for at least two months. One month at worst…but five days?
It was pathetic.
He was pathetic.
The problem was that last couple of days he'd been thinking about what Gina had said about Beckett seeming upset at seeing them together. It had given him a hope that he hadn't dared think was possible and he'd tried everything to dampen it down. He knew that he was clutching at straws but that didn't stop him wondering whether, maybe, Beckett had been about to say something more than she did. The few rational parts of his brain that remained kept telling him that he was being ridiculous, that he was merely looking for something that wasn't there – but still, he couldn't seem to let it go.
He suddenly pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at it contemplatively. Should he call her? All he wanted was to hear her voice. It wouldn't be wrong for him just to check in and see how they were all doing, right? He could use the excuse that he was interested to know if they'd had any unusual cases come up.
He frowned and shook his head. He was the one who'd made the grand gesture of leaving, he'd look stupid calling her after only five days. He sighed heavily and grimaced slightly.
"Don't be an ass, Castle, she's probably not even back from her weekend delight yet," he muttered to himself, peevishly.
He moved to put the phone away but, unfortunately, just missed his pocket. As his grip loosened, he realised the mistake and tried to stop the inevitable, but the phone slipped from his grasp.
"No, no, no, no, no!" he cried as he lunged blindly for the offending object.
He felt his finger clip the phone, then watched in dismay as the device somersaulted down towards the ground as if in slow motion.
Plop!
Splash!
"Dammit!" he exclaimed as he quickly bent down to retrieve the phone just as another wave hit the shore.
Grabbing the phone, he held it up and gave it a good shake to try and flick off any excess liquid. When there were no more drops, he touched the screen a few times but to no avail. The salty water had done its job and after a few flickerings of colours and shapes, the screen suddenly went blank. Typical. He hadn't even had a chance to play that new racing app he'd recently downloaded.
With a heavy sigh he pocketed the phone and turned back to the house. It wasn't a complete disaster, he had a landline he could use, but Beckett didn't know the number. Not that she'd call…but, even so, it bothered him that she might and he'd not know about it.
He went back inside and over to the telephone. He needed to call Gina to let her know to call the house rather than his mobile if she wanted him. He picked it up then pushed a button and listened for the dial tone.
Unbelievably, there was nothing! Nada. Zilch. It was completely dead.
"Great," he muttered unhappily as he placed the phone back down on its base then lifted the handset and tried again. Still nothing. He checked all the connections and made sure it was plugged in then tried one more time but there was still no sound.
Obviously, the universe was trying to tell him something he thought to himself wryly. Grabbing his car keys from the table, he checked he had some change then headed out the door to try and find a callbox.
xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx
Beckett sauntered around the store hoping to find inspiration from the many items of clothing on display. She had been getting some lunch and had decided to try and find something for Lanies' birthday the following week.
It had only been five days since Castle had left but it felt more like fifty to her. She hadn't realised she'd miss him quite as much as she had. Then, a couple of nights before, she'd engaged in a whole lot of soul searching whilst downing a few glasses of wine and come to the conclusion that she more than just had feelings for Castle…she was positively head over heels.
Once she'd acknowledged that little epiphany to herself, she found she welcomed the emotion far more easily than she'd expected. Of course, the fact that he wasn't around at the moment and was romantically involved with someone else, actually made it easier for her to accept because she wasn't able to act upon those feelings – hence, she was still safe in her own little emotional world.
That didn't stop her thinking about him though. Or of what he was doing with Gina on that lovely beach he'd shown her in that picture. She felt a rush of jealousy against the pretty blonde and tried to stamp it down. It worked for a few seconds but then her brain started asking questions she really didn't want the answers to.
Then, as if her force of will had suddenly conjured her up, she saw the object of her envy standing not more than a couple of feet away.
"Gina? What are you doing here?" she queried in surprise as she approached the blonde haired woman. "I thought you were away."
Gina started slightly at hearing her name and looked at the other woman in shock. Beckett was the last person she'd expected to see in an upmarket store such as this one. She felt her cheeks warm slightly under the police womans' scrutiny and pasted a false smile on her face as she wondered how she was going to get out of the situation without giving Castle away.
"Detective Beckett, what a pleasant surprise," Gina finally replied in a tone that contradicted her friendly words. She looked back at the rack in front of her and pretended interest in the clothes there as she added with as much off-handedness as she could muster, "I…uh…I had to come back for a couple of days to…um…to sort out a problem with another author."
Beckett nodded her understanding but eyed the other woman curiously. She'd noticed the lack of eye contact and heightened colour on Gina's cheeks and knew she was wasn't telling the truth.
So what did that mean? Was Lanie right? Had they broken up already?
She didn't dare hope it was true.
"So, I guess you'll be going back soon?" Beckett said with a smile as equally fake as Gina's. "Castle showed me a picture of the beach there. Must be hard to keep him focussed on work at a place like that? I hope it hasn't caused any problems between you?"
Gina looked at her sharply, then straightened up a little as the meaning of the other woman's words became clear. She'd been right after all when she'd thought Beckett looked upset at the precinct. The other woman did care, but obviously not enough to dump her boyfriend. Well, she wasn't going to allow her to interfere with her ex-husband now…not until he'd finished his book at least.
"Don't worry, Detective," she said haughtily, "I can assure you that Rick and I are doing just fine. A little relaxation by the beach does wonders for a person, you should know that."
"Excuse me?" Beckett questioned tersely. Gina's sudden turn around had caught her off guard.
"Oh, come on, Detective, don't act coy. Rick told me that you were off to enjoy a little fun in the sun yourself," Gina told her archly before frowning slightly as another thought struck her. "Shouldn't you still be away with…what's his name? Schlemming!"
"Demming," Beckett automatically corrected. "And it's none of your business."
This time it was the brunette's turn to look away causing Gina to eye her suspiciously. She'd only been trying to deflect the policewoman's questions but it appeared as though she'd stumbled onto something that the other woman didn't want to talk about.
"You didn't go, did you?" the blonde guessed shrewdly. "What happened? Did he dump you?"
"No!" the detective responded immediately, "I broke up with him!" She paused and took a breath immediately regretting her words. How could she have blurted it out like that? She'd tried to stop herself but the urge to correct the annoying woman had been too strong to ignore. Now she was bound to tell Castle and then what would happen? Would he contact her like Lanie thought? Or would it be her worst nightmare and he'd simply ignore her?
She felt a sense of panic start to build in her chest as she realised the situation was out of her control. Glancing down, she looked at her watch and saw that her lunch break was over. "I've got to go. Tell Castle I said, Hi."
With that, she turned and left as quickly as she could not even bothering with pleasantries.
Gina watched the brunette go and smiled. So, the good detective had split up with the cop after all. Maybe she did care for Rick more than the blonde had realised. Her smile faded. That wasn't actually a good thing as far as she was concerned – not if she wanted that book finished on time.
Gina left the store and headed back to her office. She'd just sat down when her phone rang. It was Castle.
"How's the book coming?" she queried once the greetings were out of the way.
"Good. Really good," Castle lied before quickly changing the subject and explaining why he had called. "Listen, my cell's broken and my landline seems to have a fault on it. Do you think you could report it for me and arrange to have someone come out and fix it?"
"Sure thing. Leave it with me," the blonde replied before adding curiously, "How did you break your cell? You love that thing."
Castle sighed and crossed his fingers as he prepared to lie again. "I was trying out a new app and I accidentally dropped it in the ocean."
Gina made the appropriate sympathetic noises and, after promising to contact his daughter, Alexis, and mother, Martha, so that they wouldn't worry, she said that would sort things out.
Castle thanked her and rang off.
Gina put down her phone and quickly dismissed the pang of guilt she felt at having not told Castle about Beckett's unattached status. She knew how he felt about the detective, even if he hadn't actually voiced the feelings aloud. She also knew that he'd high tail it back to New York as soon as he got the news, which really wasn't conducive to finishing the book…and the book was the most important thing right now.
Checking her cell, she made the calls to Alexis and Martha assuring them both that everything was fine and to contact her if there were any problems.
After that, she pressed the intercom on her desk and buzzed through to her assistant. "Hold all calls from Rick until I tell you otherwise," she instructed firmly. "No matter what he says, I'm not here, OK?"
Upon receiving the affirmative, she turned to the pile of work she had sitting on the other side of her desk and picked up the top piece of paper. Settling back more comfortably in her chair, she began to read. She'd said she'd report his line and she would.
It just wouldn't be today.
END CHAPTER 2