Disclaimer: I do not own anything, anyone, or anything you can recognize.
Claimer: I do however own everything, everyone, and everything you cannot recognize.
WARNING: Teen: Adult References, Swearing
My heart stops. No, this can't be happening. She is in danger and this time I can't protect her. I can't protect her from the world. "Mavericks by Nature"
Chapter 2 "Breaking Free,"
Noah's POV
"Trinity! Noah! Get your lazy bums out of bed!" yells mother. I groan. Did she have to yell? She sounds like dying cat when she yells. I should tell her that, maybe she'll stop it.
"Somebody shut that cat up!" I yell back. Trinity snorts as she too scrambled up. Maybe it was all a dream last night. I could hope.
"Watch what you say boy, I'm still your mother!" scolds my mother. Trinity scoffs. It sounded more like a computer voice then a human voice. Mom was more of a robot then a human I suppose. As intelligent as she was she showed very little emotion.
Sure, she's 'raised' me but she doesn't feel like a mother. Sometimes I think Trinity and I are adopted are something. She isn't a natural mother like our friends' mothers. My whole life all I've ever wanted was someone that openly cared and gave unconditional affection, not attaching electrodes to our heads to watch our reaction. I wanted someone to reach out and be the parent because I didn't always wanted to be my sister's protector. But that never happened. I had no choice than to be the parent. Maybe that's why I felt the urge to leave.
Trinity left to do whatever she does in the morning. I often worry about her. I know I should worry less about my sister and more about me but I can't help it. I felt like it was my duty. Being an Erudite meant we knew all about the psychological effects of 'dysfunctional' families or families without a parent figure. I didn't want my sister to become a statistic of young girl that end up in unhealthy or abusive relationships because they didn't have a father figure. Not saying I make much of a father figure.
My hands falter a moment as I find a multi-colored string bracelet in my drawer. It stopped my heart for a moment. I remembered my little cousin's bright smile as she gave me the bracelet when I was nine and she was seven. Then two weeks later, she was dead. She is the reason I worry about Trinity. They've never caught the murderer and it wasn't for a lack of not trying. When we walked home from the school, I could see the factionless girls and could see anger and pain in their eyes. No woman or girl should have to suffer like that. God created both man and woman and men should thank God for making woman. Given in most cases religion has been forgotten. But when tragedy tries to strike you down you have to find something to believe in.
At this moment, I come to terms with what I need to choose. My test results had come back Dauntless and that is where I belong. I wanted to protect people. I had done it since I could remember. I could save little kids like Eleanor from dying like that. I could take away that suffering of those factionless girls. Dauntless is going out on a whim. But what is a life that stays between the lines.
I've always followed the rules. I've always studied like a good Erudite. I always did the best I could do. But I hated the rules. I never liked to study and found it stupid to waste my life inside of a book. I only did my best to keep my mother happy. I wanted to bend and break the rules. I wanted get out and see the world not just read about it. I wanted to slack off and do my own thing for once.
A feel the heavy weight of guilt build up in my chest. How could I leave my family? Mom would never forgive me. Trinity might forgive me but I could never look her straight in the eyes again. But why couldn't I be happy for once? Why did I have to protect Trin my whole life? Why did I have to do everything to make my mom happy? This was my life not theirs. I had to make my own choice and so did Trin. No matter what I'll still love Trin. It doesn't matter she might hate me for my choice because I know she'll get over it.
I finally feel like I know myself in deciding this huge choice. I was ready for the Choosing Ceremony now. I get dressed in my usually dull blue suit. I put on my black shoes. I hate these shoes. I hate dressing up like a freaking mini-professor every day.
"HURRY UP! BREAKFAST IS DONE!" shrieked my mother. I will however not miss that. Sometimes I like it better when she isn't around. Jesus, is she annoying when she is.
Trinity's POV
I feel like such a baby for sleeping with my brother last night. It's childish and quite honestly unhealthy. I really don't want to become codependent on my brother, which I have to admit I already could already be. The chances we'll go different ways is great. I will be sad but I will get over it. It's part of life.
Sometimes my brother will say things that make me think twice about him. Sometimes he could be so mean and rude, especially to mom. Don't get me wrong I don't care that much for her for pretending to be my mom for all these years but that doesn't make it right to be mean to her. I remember climbing into bed with her after Auntie Lauren and Eleanor's funeral. God, that was ages ago the wound never healed. What got to me is that their murderer or murderers got away with it.
I look into the mirror. I hated the way I looked in blue. I looked like a freak of nature. It drew out the fact I didn't look like my mom or brother. I never realized how much that bothered me until yesterday. The chances I might be murdered is high, that scares me. I believe that the death of all these Divergents will one day chance things. I suppose if I am going to die I'd rather want to have my life end to set things right then to die old and suffering.
I let my hair down from its braid, it frizzed out into puffy tight blonde curls. I have to flat iron and comb it into manageable wavy blonde hair. Today is the day I won't be fallowing Erudite rules. I'm certain I was not coming back to Erudite. I don't belong here. Maybe the only place I belong is with the Factionless, where I was born, that is a scary thought. I am smart but I know I won't score that high on an IQ. I'm not a genius like my mom. Maybe she can make herself a test-tube baby to raise. Creepy but common in Erudite.
I press down my navy blue skirt pressing the wrinkles in a feeble attempt to rid myself of the wrinkles. I button up my navy blue vest over my white blouse. I put on navy blue flats. Now I'm ready just like that. Why do other girls take so long to get dressed? It isn't that hard and I have evil hair.
I sit down at the breakfast table. I wait for my brother. Because that is what you are supposed to do. Because eating as a family is good for development even if it doesn't happen as much as it should. Whatever. Just more fancy words that no one cares about or understands.
"How was yesterday?" I ask to my mother. My mother is stoically cooking. Why did she have to act that way? I know that she has just as much emotions as everyone else. I've seen her cry in mourning, laugh in joy and scream in anger. I suppose she is acts like a robot to protect herself. Why do I even care about her after all the lies? There is probably some psychological reason to it but I don't care to recall it.
"Abnegation is being so difficult. They don't listen to anyone. They think they are all that because they are the government. They ignore the good science does because of that so called God they worship. Foolery that is! They'll pay soon and Erudite will be supreme," says my mother. Uh, okay she's officially crazy.
"Dear God, we don't need her leading all the Factions. She's a psychopath. All of you supporters of her are mental. She is going to get the whole city killed," I say. I don't fear Erudite anymore. Soon as I transfer to Candor, I will reveal to the whole city what Erudite really is. I have to stop Erudite.
"Now, now, Trinity Jeannie is a wonderful lady that has done great things for the world. Can you imagine a world without serums? I think not. And getting rid of the Abnegation is the start," replies my mother. I rolled my eyes. Jeanine is a psychopath; she wasn't going stop murdering innocent people. I believe people are born mostly good but there are people that are born sick in a mind and they do horrible things. And sometimes people turn bad by making bad choices.
"Keep your worship of Jeannie to yourself. I know what I am and what you Erudites are doing. I won't be your little experiment. I am a human being and I won't be treated like an experiment. I will reveal what you people are doing to the Factionless children. I hope you rot in hell. And screw you all," I snarl keeping my voice dangerously low, I am fuming with anger but I can't yell and draw attention. My mother gaped at me. I throw daggers at her.
"HURRY UP! BREAKFAST IS DONE!" shrieks mom. I rub my ears. I could have done without that. When she does that, she does sound like a dying cat, like Noah often tells her. I just don't say it because well it gives her satisfaction.
"Must you do that?" I ask. My mom smirks at me. I know she did that on purpose to annoy Noah. She enjoys it. She is a sociopath. She has emotions so she isn't a psychopath.
I don't know what Erudite had been thinking using children as an experiment. Humans aren't meant to be manipulated, if you try change human nature they are no longer human. You cannot expect humans to fallow what you lay out for them. It is human nature to rebel. Without rebels, the world would be boring. I suppose that's what a Divergent is, a rebel by nature.
Noah sits down next to me. All three of us now eat. Noah senses something. I know that look he is giving me. I try to ignore it but I can't. It is driving me insane.
"Why are you giving me that look?" I asked in the middle of the dead silence of breakfast. I couldn't stand it any longer.
"You know why," says Noah. I rolled my eyes. He can be such an idiot.
"I really don't know. I don't have mind-reading abilities. Why don't you enlighten me," I say. I tried not to snap at him. He can be rather arrogant and dense sometimes. I think all guys are like that though.
"You always have to say what is on your mind! You never keep your mouth shut can you!" snaps Noah. That lights up a burning sensation inside, anger and resentment. How dare he talk to me like that? We are twins. We shouldn't talk to each other like this. But that doesn't stop me from responding.
"Well, this is what I have to say to that. Go shove your foot up your ass," I say I had never felt so angry with Noah. Wow, we went to sleeping in the same bed to last night to be furious with each other. I swear men get PMS.
"Noah that was rather immature of you and Trinity watch your language," says mom. I want to strange her.
"Oh go to hell! You aren't even our mother!" I snap back. Noah's eyes got large. Well, I was going to say sometime.
Noah says nothing. I blushed. I usually kept my language clean. It is just the heat of the moment.
"You didn't think that he wasn't going to figure it out sooner or later," I say. Screw Erudite and their experiments.
"I shouldn't have jumped to concussions," mumbles Noah.
Twins. Fun stuff. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Well, I might be living without Noah. After talking with mom, I have decided despite my fears I am going to choose Candor. Maybe if I tell them outright maybe Candor will protect me.
The truth hurts. It can tear apart families. But I can't keep it inside. The truth was bound to happen. Wasn't it bad enough to keep the fact Noah and I were human experiments to myself? I can't keep everything to myself. I'd lose my mind.
After breakfast, mom gave us time to go see friends if we want. Mom would be visiting the graves of her family, I'll be going to see Will and Cara, and Noah would go see Edward and Myra. You can't see one without seeing the other after all.
I walked down two sets of stairs and went down three hallways to get to Will's apartment, well his sister's apartment. I knock on the door. I hoped he was already up. I wanted to talk to him before the Choosing Ceremony. God know if we will see each other again.
"Will, Trinity is here," calls his sister. Will's sister is a year older than we are. She has pale skin and shares the same crease between her eyebrows as Will does. She has long golden hair that is down for the moment. His sister gestures for me to come in. I walk in and take off my shoes, just out of habit.
"How are you Cara?" I ask. I remember Will's phone call six months ago telling me his parents were dead. There was some sort of explosion at the lab they worked at. I know it has changed Will but I never see Cara enough to ask.
"I'm alright. Working in the agriculture lab," Cara replies. I could hear that she was struggling in her voice. Who am I to force it out of her? What would I say to her anyways?
"Can you told her to wait a minute?" asks Will. He walked out of a room in nothing but a towel. I feel the warmness in my cheeks. I've seen Will in less but it still feels strange. Why was I even thinking about that again? It wasn't truly the uncommon for Erudites to have sex before the Choosing Ceremony but it was with my best friend. It seems to wrong but there really isn't anything wrong with it though. Sex is completely natural. We're teenagers and have ranging hormones.
"Oh, she's already in here. Well, I'll being getting dressed now," says Will, quickly backing into his bedroom.
Cara and I burst into laughter. I feel like a fourteen year old again. I used to be so close to Cara. What happened? By the look in her eyes, I could tell she is thinking the same thing.
"I don't get why he was embarrassed. It's not like you've seen him in less than that," says Cara. I turn beet red. She has to bring up what happened last week. I don't know what we had been thinking. We hadn't been thinking. Hormones and heat of the moment feelings were driving us. We could have ruined our friendship. But we didn't. Thank God for that.
"I can't believe we did that. What was I thinking?" I grumble. Cara only laughs. It wasn't a laughing matter though. It really was bothering me.
"Oh come on Trinity there is nothing wrong with sexual curiosity. It's completely natural. If I was going to walk on my brother, I rather have it be someone I know instead of some prostitute," says Cara. That does not make me feel better. I should have more control over myself than I did.
"We could have ruined our friendship," I say. My lip quivers slightly. If I had lost Will as a friend, I would have lost all the friendships I had. I feel connected with very few people and Will is the only person I have connection to that has stayed around for the long run. Myra is a friend too but she hung around Edward all the time now. So we aren't that close anymore.
"Come on, you know Will wouldn't be like that. Things could be awkward but he wouldn't push you away. He cares about you, I think more then you too realize," says Cara.
"What does it matter if we choose different factions?" I ask.
"Are you really going to let factions stop you?" asks Cara.
"No but it will make things harder," I say.
"That's life," I say.
Will came out of his room, dressed now. He is acting as if nothing had happened. I want to do the same but I can't. Will looks between Cara and me. I pull on the sleeve of Will's jacket.
"I'm barrowing Will until the ceremony," I said.
"Fine with me. Just make sure he gets there in one piece," says Cara dismissing us with a wave of the hand.
"But I didn't get to eat," whines Will.
"We can stop at the coffee shop on the first floor," I say. Will fallowed me but not really by choice. I was dragging him by his sleeve.
The elevator was being excessively slow today so I decide to go for the stairs. Will fallows me because he wasn't going to stand there alone. Sometimes he just went with my craziness.
"We don't have to walk in silence," says Will. I ignore him. I didn't know what I was going to say. Will huffs in annoyance. He hates it when I ignored him.
We reached the ground floor and went into the café. The owner was a middle-aged Erudite man that is educated in business. He has cafés all over the city. He even changes the menus to suit the different factions that travel through the area.
"Good morning, kiddos. What can I get you two?" asks the owner. I smile at him. Will kept on glaring at me.
"A Blue Tea for me, David," I say giving my food card to the owner.
"Pancakes," says Will.
"How practical of you," I say. That had come out the wrong way. I didn't mean to sound so mean.
"Sorry, that came out meaner then I meant. It was supposed to be," I say. Interrupted mid-sentence but I don't really mind. Sometimes we have this strange connection
"Sarcastic. I know," says Will.
"Are you nervous?" I ask. I honestly I didn't want to be told that he was. That would be terrifying for me. He was more of the rock for me than my brother was but I asked anyways.
"Kind of. I'm just hoping you and Cara don't hate me for what I choose," says Will. My heart drops. Will is nervous because of Cara and me. That's no reason to be nervous. I knew Cara would feel the same way.
"Will, I will never hate you. I might be sad but I'll get over it. I know Cara will feel the same way," I reply. I think of Cara if both Will and I leave. It makes me second-guess the choice I'm nearly sure I want. I might be able to find my place as an Erudite. However, without Noah or Will it wouldn't be worth it. Maybe I can still talk to Cara being in Candor. Maybe I will still talk to Will.
Will smiles at me faintly. The crease between his eyebrows moving up slightly. It is so hard not to laugh when it does that but I manage to keep a straight face. His food arrives along with my tea.
"What is with you and blue tea? Isn't it enough we wear blue?" asks Will. His green eyes glimmered with that mischievous look of his. I laugh lightheartedly.
"It has nothing to do with the color. I like it because it smells and tastes good. It is an herbal tea, which is good for the health, and it doesn't have caffeine or added sweeteners. It's made from the blue heartwood of a medicinally tree," I say. I know many things about teas. Will knows the map of the city. All Erudite children obsesses over strange things and know everything about that.
"You and your teas," teases Will. I roll my eyes.
I know one of us is going to have to bring it up. In a few hours, we may never see each other again. There is so much I have to say and not enough time to say it. Why do people wait to the last minute to say the important stuff?
"I-," I start to say.
"Uh-," says Will instantaneously with me. We both laugh.
"You go first," says Will. I clear my throat.
"I just want to say that I don't regret last week. I know things won't be the same. I know we might choose different factions and never see each other again. I also want to say I'm also sorry for getting you into trouble all the time all of these years," I say. My heart was pounding. I probably just made things awkward.
"I was going to say the same thing. I also don't regret last week. It was spontaneous and irrational but it showed me the best of things don't have to have logic behind it. I thank you for that. I think it woke me up. I finally understand what you mean by a world outside of the textbooks and logic. I also have to say it doesn't matter what happens you were my first friend and many other things. Nothing can change that," says Will. God, what were we a freaking romance novel.
"This sounds too much like a cheesy romance novel," I say. I covers my mouth with my hand. Will just laughs. My big mouth and me.
"Also Will I know you'll meet the right person. It's going to blindside you and I might not get to see it but maybe I'll hear about it. Also if you end up with Noah please keep an eye on him," I say.
"That you for the love advice, I'm sure it will come in real handy," says Will rolling his eyes. I pout like a little kid. "You didn't even have to ask."
"Thanks," I say with a smile.
"You aren't going to choose Erudite are you?" asks Will. My heart stops. Why does he do that to me? I know why. I want Will to be happy so I'll never say it too him. I will move on.
"I'm not," I admit. Will looks down. I think he was hoping I'd stay so he wouldn't feel guilty about leaving Cara. I would have felt the same way.
"I'm not either. I don't want to leave Cara alone," says Will. They only had each other after all.
"Cara is strong. She'll be fine. Maybe we will still talk to her in our new factions. I like to believe one day things might be different and we'll be able to see our family and friends in other factions more often," I say "I'm not talking whenever we want but on the weekends."
"That would be nice," says Will.
"This city is so messed up. Jeannine Matthews is the main reason it is going to hell. But I suppose Marcus Eaton is a problem too. I just hate politics," I say. Whenever I think of Marcus Eaton, I tremble with anger. I hope he rots in hell. Bastards like him deserve the worse punishment in the world. I get angry with Jeannine and her psychopathic ways but not the same way I get when I hear about people like Marcus.
"Trin, breathe," says Will.
I take a deep breathe. I realize that I had been holding my breath. I would have passed out if Will hadn't spoke to me. Sometimes I feel like he knows me more than even Noah does.
"You get so worked up over things. You really care about people. That's what I like about you. I wish more people would care as much as you would. That's why you wouldn't be happy in Erudite. You won't do something you know is wrong even if it would help people," says Will. I blush. Will laughs and I pout at him.
"Thanks," I mumble. I feel Will's hand on top of mine.
"I just want you to be happy wherever it takes you," said Will. God, is he really getting to me. He keeps blindsiding me.
"Right back at you," I reply.
I start to feel a bit queasy as a man entered the café. He reeks of alcohol and smoke. I try not to gage. I hate the smell of alcohol and cigarettes alone but together it was unbearable. I usually don't feel sick to stomach though. I suppose I just ate not that long ago so that is probably a factor.
"Are you okay?" asks Will. I get up and go towards the family bathroom. The only faction with different sex bathrooms is Abnegation.
I haven't thrown up in so long. The last time I did, I ended up in the hospital because I had an allergic reaction when I shared a sandwich an Amity girl shared with me. Erudite, of course, knows that Amity puts peace serum into the bread so soon as I was at hospital I was fine. Looking back that is the first physical sign of my Divergence. I hear the door swing open. I know from the footsteps in was Will.
"Trin, are you okay?" asks Will. I can tell he's worried. He's never seen me sick. I know it's just the smell so I'm not that worried.
"It's just the smell of that man when he came in," I say. I flush the toilet hoping not to throw up again. God, I hate the feeling after you throw up.
"What smell?" asks Will.
"Alcohol and cigarettes," I say.
"I didn't know that bothered you," says Will.
"We'll I don't usually get sick," I say.
I walk out the stall and wash my hands. I look into the mirror and see Will's eyes looking at me with concern. Sometimes he is worse than Noah is.
"Come on, let's wait on the bench for our families," I say.
I wave to the owner as we leave. He smiles back. He's one of my favorite business owners. Will grabs my hand as we pass a group of older Erudite boys that had been staring at me in a not so friendly way. Will's grip is tight. I don't mind because honestly I'm no match for those boys.
"Keep your eyes off her, she's a woman not some sex toy!" snaps Will. Only Will can talk about sex toys with a straight face. Sometimes he's so mature it's freaky. Will pulls me in closer. It's different when Will defends me then when my brother does.
We both relax once we are outside. Sometimes people like those 'men' really scare me. People are so perverted. I could handle myself I had to but I don't want to. I could if it was my last resort. I'm not that violent of a person. If my life depended on killing someone or seriously hurting someone, I think I could do it.
We sit down on our favorite bench. It's a simple cobblestone bench, which supposedly is from the original city back when it was known as Chicago, the windy city. I feel Will's arm wrap around my shoulder I don't protest. I lean into him. I can tell he's wearing the colon I gave him for his birthday.
"I'm sorry about that," says Will. I play with the hem of his jacket. I like to twirl things I'm nervous or emotional.
"It's not your fault they are like that," I say.
"I meant the profanity," says Will.
"Oh please, like I haven't heard worse. I'm not a little kid," I say.
"I know that much," laughs Will.
"I'm going to miss you," I say. My lower lip quivers slightly. I want this moment to last forever. This might be the last time we ever do this.
"Maybe we're thinking the same faction," says Will. I can tell he's just trying to stay positive.
"Those chances are slim but maybe," I say.
"If we're not I'll miss you too. I'll always visit you on visiting day," says Will. I smile at him. Maybe in Candor I can make that be more than just one day. I might just be able to change laws being my background in psychology. I'll even do it under the truth serum I've heard about.
"Thanks," I say.
"I know I shouldn't do this being what is today but Trin I love you," Will says. I know at that moment what faction he is considering, Dauntless. It is a selfish statement, not that I really care about that. He was unknowingly hinting his choice.
"I-," I sutter. I do love Will but I can't do this to myself. It is only going to make it harder.
"You don't have to say it back. It was selfish of me to say that. Don't let that affect your choice. I couldn't live if you failed initiation because of me," says Will looking down.
"Will, it's not that I don't feel that way. I just don't want to make this harder for us," I whisper. My eyes start to tear up. I don't want to hurt Will.
"I don't think it's meant to be easy," says Will.
"I need to tell you two things that are going to be revealed in due time anyways," I say. It will be all over the news when the truth come out.
"You can tell me anything," says Will.
"First off, Noah and I weren't born in Erudite. We're part of an experiment called "Assimilation" where Erudite kidnaps Factionless children and introduces them into different Factions. I only fond out a few weeks ago," I say.
Will's eyes get big. I swear he's grip gets tighter, as if he is trying to protect me or is afraid of losing me. I suppose it is kind of bold of me to talk about this in public. There is no one around. I'm sure there are cameras and voice recorders but screw Jeannine.
"And I'm Divergent," I whisper into Will's ear. He pales. He looks at me desperate for me to yell 'I got you on that one' but I don't. My eyes start to tear up more. What if he tells Erudite leadership? That's just stupid. The Choosing Ceremony is only in two hours, he does have time.
"What factions?" asks Will, Erudite curiosity.
"Candor and Dauntless," I say.
"I won't tell anyone, I promise," Will whispers in my ear. That is a huge weight off my shoulders.
We soon met up with my mother, Noah, Myra, Edward, Myra and Cara. With only a look, my mother knows that I want her to watch over Cara and she promises to do so with the look she gives me. Noah gives Will a look, as if he knows what we did last week. I try to keep a straight face and Will tries to ignore Noah.
The Hub is bustling as normal. Being that Choosing Ceremony was today, it is mass chaos inside. I like it that way. I'm a firm believer in the beauty in chaos. Waiting for the elevator was the most annoying and boring thing of my entire day.
When the elevator finally arrived and it was our turn to get in I found myself being squashed between Edward and Will unable to breathe in elevator. I start to have a panic attack from being in such a small space with so many people. I was terrified the wires would snap and we would all fall to our deaths. One-hundred and eight floors is a lot of floors to go splat on the ground from.
"Breathe, Trin," says Will. I glare at him. I can't help it. Will tries to create a bigger space for me but couldn't. I clung to his arm trembling with anxiety.
The doors open. People file out of the elevator. I nearly dropped to my knees in relief. Will kept me from falling down. I felt so small as we sat down with the other Erudites choosing today. I stare at the five bowls.
Marcus Eaton, the leader of the Abnegation, stood between the Abnegation and Erudite bowls. I feel anger burn inside of me as I think of what he did to his son. I know the rumors to be true. However, I also know that Jeanine has manipulated it to say what she wants it be.
"Welcome," he says. "Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us every man has the right to choose their own way in this world."
My heart is pounding. I look at Noah who nods at me for encouragement. I sit closer to Will. He fidgeted more in his seat. I supposed we are both just as nervous. I cling into his arm again. He forced himself to smile back at me.
"Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be." Marcus's voice is solemn and gives equal weight to each word. "Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality—of humankind's inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray." Marcus continues. I was only half listening at that point. I felt as if I was going to faint.
"Those who blamed aggression formed Amity." The Amity exchange smiles.
Good for them that they are happy living like that but I couldn't be. I would kill myself. I could leave in a constant lie of happiness. No one is happy all the time.
"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite." Ignorance can be deadly yes but it cannot take down a whole society. At least, not alone.
"Those who blamed duplicity created Candor." My future home, I thought to myself. My heart leapt at the thought. "Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation." God, bless their souls for what they do. "And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless." That is true and not true.
"Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life." A bunch of words that had lost my interest.
Marcus adds, "Apart from them, we would not survive." The silence that follows his words is heavier than other silences. It is heavy with our worst fear, greater even than the fear of death: to be factionless.
Marcus continues, "Therefore this day marks a happy occasion—the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."
A round of applause. It sounds muffled. I try to sit completely still, because body is stiff with fear, I don't shake. Marcus reads the first names, but I can't tell one syllable from the other. How will I know when he calls my name? One by one, each sixteen-year-old steps out of line and walks to the middle of the room. The first girl to choose decides on Amity, the same faction from which she came. I watch her blood droplets fall on soil, and she stands behind their seats alone.
The room is constantly moving, a new name and a new person choosing, a new knife and a new choice. It was a lot to take in at once. I wondered what was going on in Noah's head.
The first transfer is James Tucker from Dauntless. He transfers to Candor. I hoped we could become friends. I want to make friends in my new faction. We will be in it together so most likely we will become friends. That is what happens, most of time anyways.
I am shocked when Edward chooses Dauntless. Myra fallows Edward, of course. I hope the best for Myra. I worried that she has made a horrible mistake. I hear Will's name. I had to let go of Will. I get up so Will can get out. I hug Will tightly before let him walk down.
The moments before Will's choice are the longest in my life. I am stunned to see Will's blood drop into the coals. I gasp loudly, even louder than Cara's gasp. I clung onto Noah fighting back tears. I didn't think this would hurt this much.
The whole room is shocked by the choices of Caleb and Beatrice Prior. I have seen them before but I've never spoken to them. Caleb to Erudite and Beatrice to Dauntless, I know from my mother that Andrew Prior is an Erudite transfer. Maybe she'll be friends with Myra. She seems like a good person.
"Trinity Chang," calls out Marcus. I'm startled by how many names I've missed. I stand up. I hug Noah and Cara. I gave Cara a longer hug. I walk down to the bowls. I see Will watching me from the corner of my vision.
I take the knife from Marcus. I take a deep breath. I take one more moment to look back at my mother. I let go of my old self. I move my hand from the Erudite bowl to the Candor bowl. My blood drips onto the glass. I hear murmurs from Erudite and gaps from my mother and Cara. The tears roll down my cheeks as I look at the devastated face of Cara.
"Noah Chang," callsed out Marcus. Noah walks up and takes the knife. He moves much quicker than I had. He moves straight to the dauntless bowl. His blood drips onto the coals. I am stunned. I start to feel dizzy. The boy next to me, I realize this to be James, catches me. People stare our direction. Cara gets up out her seat but forces herself back down.
I find James at my side as we walk to the elevators. Without even speaking, we have a connection to each other. I am glad to have someone by my side. I cling to the side of the elevator. My heart aches for Will. How long will I feel like this? I want Will to be happy though. I will move on, I have to. I hold back the flood until I am alone. I don't want to appear weak.
Noah's POV
Seeing Trinity's heartbreak as Will choose Dauntless made me second-guess my choice. I knew there was something between them. I also knew my sister would let Will go if she knew if he would be happy. I know they must have spoken about this because Will wouldn't have done it if he wasn't sure that she'd hate him. I think we are all that way. Faction before blood is a stupid motto that no one truly believes.
"Trinity Chang," calls out Marcus. I hug my sister for what could be the last time. I try to image her like this forever. I watch intently as she takes the knife. My heart drops when she chooses Candor. She is brave but she is also is honest. She will do fine in Candor. She will make an impact there.
"Noah Chang," calls out Marcus. I step up to the plate. I quickly take the knife and cut my hand. I don't think, I just do. I move straight to the Dauntless bowl. My blood sizzles on the coal. I look over to mom and I can see the admiration, love and sadness in her eyes. I was so wrong about her. I hear a ruckus in the Candor section. Trinity has nearly passed out and James Tucker has caught her. I nearly run over to her but I stop myself and join the other Dauntless.
Running down the stairs was a workout. I should have joined Trinity more when she worked out. I manage to catch up with Will. He doesn't look at me but knows I'm there. I fallow along with everyone else. Next thing I know I'm jumping onto a moving train right behind Will.
"How could you leave her alone?" snaps Will pushing me into the wall. He's a lot stronger and I'm a lot weaker then I realized. My heart rate increases. Will is frightening when he is pissed. He left her too. He has no room to talk.
"You left her too," I say. Will glares at me.
"I didn't know what she would choose. You already knew," replies Will.
"Come on guys, no fighting," says Edward pulling Will and I apart. Until that second, I didn't realize how close we were to fighting.
Jumping off a moving train to a building was the riskiest thing I've ever done but I did it anyways. I manage to stumble slightly falling onto my knees. It could have been worse. I see the Dauntless girl screaming as a Dauntless guy tries to pull her away from the ledge. It could have been much worse.
I was the fifth person to jump to the Dauntless compound. Saying I'm tired of jumping into the unknown was an understatement. This place might just be the death of me. I hope Trinity is doing better than I am.
Trinity POV
The Candor imitates are taken to Candor headquarters. We are separated into Candor-born and transfers. The Candor-born are assigned separate apartments while transfers are given roommates. I end up James, another boy named Leo and a girl name Ashley.
I quickly learn that Ashley is from Amity and that she hates being lied to and hates lying. I learn that James left because he never felt athletic enough for Dauntless and that he believes that bravery and honesty aren't that much different. Leo left Abnegation because he never felt selfless enough and had a hard time holding his tongue I know I have found myself thee new friends. I hope that Will and Noah are doing well. I hope they haven't killed each other yet.
Thanks for reading. I didn't think I'd get an update in so soon. Most of the time it will be weekly but other times it will be sooner. I hope that the POVs switching when they do isn't too much. Don't forget to review. It is my brain food.