After well over an hour in sickbay, Kathryn finally cajoled the Doctor into releasing her. She needed to see Chakotay and knew he would be waiting for her. Separating fact from fiction of what occurred during the accident was confusing. She knew in her mind that Chakotay had not really watched her die, but suspected he was agonizing over her near death.

Chakotay was sitting in the chair by the viewport when she entered her quarters. He sprang up and took a halting step toward her, then another, and in three long strides was standing in front of her whispering her name. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely but gently, mindful of her injuries.

Pulling back to see her face, he asked, "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay. A little stiff."

"Your head?"

"A mild headache."

"Kathryn, I'm so sorry for what you've been through."

She touched his cheek and met his eyes. "You kept me alive, Chakotay. The Doctor told me you administered CPR until he arrived. I saw you. I know I was unconscious, but I saw you fighting to keep me alive." A tear shimmered in her eye, and her hand on his side gripped harder. "I watched you lose me, and you rocked my body in your arms and cried."

He brought her head back to his chest and rubbed her back. "That part wasn't real, my love. I didn't lose you."

"I know, but it's a little confusing trying to tell myself what was real and what wasn't. The visions feel like they happened."

He kissed the top of her head, and they embraced silently for several moments as they drew strength from each other. Finally, Chakotay said, "I love you, Kathryn. So much."

"I love you, too. Thank you."

He pulled away again and clasped her slender hands between his. "Are you hungry?"

"A little, but I think I want a bath first."

He smiled. "I thought you might. I'll run the water while you get undressed."

"I can do it, Chakotay. I'm well enough."

"I know you can. Please, let me? I want to."

She understood his need to do something for her and squeezed his hands. "All right. Will you sit with me?"

"Of course." Before letting her go, he leaned forward and softly kissed her forehead where the long cut had been. No sign of the gash remained, but his mind clearly saw where the line of red blood had been. Pressing light kisses across her forehead and cheeks, he ended at her lips, lingering tenderly.

She kissed him just as gently, allowing his touch to further calm her rattled nerves. "Chakotay, what about your injuries?"

"I'm okay. I don't think I'll be playing velocity for a couple of days, but I'm fine."

"Have you prepared dinner yet?"

"No, not yet. I didn't know when the Doctor would release you."

"Let's go to the mess hall after I take my bath. We'll let Neelix worry about dinner tonight."

"Kathryn, you need to rest."

"I will." She lowered her eyes to his chest. "It's silly, but I feel the need to see my crew. My last memory of the mess hall is of my own memorial service and watching my body jettisoned away from the ship." She looked back up at his face. "I want to go."

Confusion clouded the normally confident determination in her eyes, and it pained him to see. "We'll eat in the mess hall and stay as long as you want. I'm sure everyone will be glad to see you." He turned and led her into the bedroom. "I'll start your bath."

Kissing her fingers, he let her go, continued into the bathroom, and instructed the computer to fill the bathtub. He added the scented bubbles that she liked and retrieved a towel and washcloth. When he finished, she was walking nude into the room.

He stopped her with his hands on her shoulders and carefully checked her over. "I guess I expect there to be some sign of what happened, but I'm relieved there isn't." He blinked rapidly as he laid his hand under her right breast.

"What's wrong?"

"I felt it. I heard the sound and felt it when I broke your rib doing CPR. I never meant to hurt you."

"Chakotay." She pressed his hand harder over her side. "You did what you had to do. Any successful CPR is going to crack some ribs. I can live with being sore for a day, but I can't live without a heartbeat."

He stepped back from her. "How many?"

"How many what?"

"How many did I break?"

She didn't want to tell him, but spoke honestly. "The Doctor repaired three: two on the right and one on the left."

Chakotay knew well the feeling of broken ribs, and fought the bile in his throat as he imagined the pain she might have suffered because of him. His breathing quickened and his eyes widened, staring at her torso.

She lifted his head and said firmly, "You did not hurt me, Chakotay. You kept my body alive, and our love kept me from entering the alien's matrix. I couldn't leave you, even though I thought I was dead. You were my anchor."

He sought her eyes for any sign of blame to validate his feelings of guilt, but found only love. Slowly, he calmed and accepted that although he'd hurt her, it had been necessary. He touched her sides again and swallowed. "Let's get you in the bath and then we'll go eat, and see the crew."

He waited until she was settled in the water, and then sat down beside the tub. Draping his arm over the edge, he held her hand while the hot water eased her stiff muscles.

Not wanting any potential surprises when they went to dinner, Chakotay told her about B'Elanna catching him coming into her quarters. Kathryn was quiet as she thought it over, but then smiled and shook her head.

"B'Elanna knowing that we love each other seems insignificant compared to the rest of today's events. If we're together, Chakotay, maybe everyone deserves to know. Would that really be so bad?"

He chuckled. "Are you asking me or yourself?"

"Myself, mostly," she smirked.

"And your answer?"

"That it's okay for the crew to find out. Look at everything we've had to endure out here. Love is a good thing."

"Yes, it certainly is." He leaned forward and kissed her on the nose.

With a gleam in her eye, she said, "I'll give you my dessert if you wash my back."

"No."

"Excuse me? No?"

He laughed. "I'll wash your back if you promise to eat your dessert."

She scrunched her nose. "That depends on what it is."

"If you don't like what Neelix prepared, I will replicate anything you want later."

"Ah, now there's an offer I can't refuse."

"Good." He rose up on his knees, fished the washcloth out of the water, and slowly ran it over her back as he pressed his lips to hers. She teased him until he opened to her, and the sensual dance of their lips and tongues helped chase away their concerns. Dropping the cloth, Chakotay let his fingertips wander over her spine to her neck, holding her while he reclaimed her with a lover's kiss.

He pulled back and brushed a lock of damp hair from her cheek. He studied her face, committing every line and angle to memory as if he'd never done so before. "Kathryn," he whispered. "If I'd lost you…"

"I'm right here, Chakotay." She clasped his hand and kissed his fingertips, then guided it to her breast.

He caressed her, feeling the nipple tighten against his palm and the weight of warm flesh in his fingers. He ached to undress and hold her nude body against his, to explore her from head to toe with hands and mouth before joining them until his seed filled her.

Chakotay kissed her once more and then slowly removed his hands from the water. She was still recovering, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause her more pain. Right now, she needed food and rest. He stood and held up her towel. "Come on," he said, "let's go eat with our crew."

Twenty minutes later, Kathryn was redressed and hungry for dinner. They left her quarters arm-in-arm and walked slowly through the corridor to the turbolift. The hot bath had helped her, but they both still felt the lingering effects of the shuttle crash, and he didn't want her to tire too quickly. Pausing outside the mess hall door, he asked, "Are you ready?"

"To see the crew, or for the crew to find out about us?"

"Both, I guess."

She smiled and answered with a simple "Yes."

He held her arm tightly under his, and they walked through the door. Kathryn stopped a few steps inside and surveyed the room. The former images of people in mourning during her memorial were overlaid with new ones of her crewmen sitting down to a meal together. Several of those present noticed their captain and commander enter, and paused to smile at her. With a nod, she acknowledged them and forced her expression to one of calm and contentment.

Chakotay knew her well enough to see her struggling, and bent to her ear. "We're here for you. Just say the word, and we'll leave anytime."

She turned her head to him. "It is a bit overwhelming, but I'm all right. I need to be here."

Neelix spotted them and called out, "Captain, it's so good to see you!"

Chakotay and Kathryn went to the counter and waited for Neelix to fill their plates. Chakotay hissed through his teeth when he picked up a tray and turned his injured wrist awkwardly under the weight. The tray rattled as it dropped back on the counter, and she grabbed his arm.

"Chakotay," she said with concern.

He rubbed his hand and smiled crookedly. "Sorry, I forgot about the sprained wrist."

Neelix immediately took over and shooed them toward a table. "Go, go, sit. I'll bring everything. You two sit and relax."

"Really, Neelix," Kathryn said. "We can get it."

"I'm sure you can, Captain. It doesn't hurt a thing to be waited on once in a while, either. Right, Ensign Kim?"

Harry had appeared beside Chakotay and said, "Absolutely," as he picked up the drinks. Neelix grabbed up both trays, and Kathryn and Chakotay found themselves with no choice but to follow their waiters.

"Thank you, Mr. Kim, Mr. Neelix," she said as she and Chakotay sat down at the corner table.

"No problem, Captain," Neelix said. "You let me know if you need anything else." He returned to the galley.

Harry remarked, "Captain, I'm glad to see you're out of sickbay. Are you sure you're ready to brave Neelix's cooking, though?"

She laughed. "I'll let you in on a secret, Mr. Kim. The commander promised to replicate anything I want later."

Harry grinned. "I'd take him up on that if I were you. If you'll excuse me, I'm meeting Tom and B'Elanna."

"Enjoy your dinner."

At the mention of B'Elanna's name, Chakotay searched the room for her. He had almost relaxed upon not finding her when the door slid open and she and Tom walked in. Chakotay glanced at Kathryn to gauge her reaction, and was surprised when she laid her hand over his on the table.

"I told you I was okay with it, and I meant that," she assured him.

He gripped her fingers before reluctantly letting go. "I had told her I would talk to her later. Should I do that now?"

"We both will."

Tom and B'Elanna spotted their commanding officers and made their way to the table. Tom smiled at the captain, and B'Elanna eyed Chakotay. "Captain, it's good to see you," Tom told her.

"Thank you, Mr. Paris. It's good to be here. Miss Torres, would you join us for a moment?"

B'Elanna hoped she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt. "Yes, Captain."

Tom said, "I'll get our plates and find Harry." He walked off, and B'Elanna sat stiffly in the chair beside Chakotay.

He patted her arm. "Relax, B'Elanna."

Kathryn said, "Chakotay told me about your conversation outside my quarters. You're his friend, and I wanted you to know that you were right. He and I have been seeing each other since the luau."

B'Elanna looked wide-eyed from one to the other, and then smiled. "I'm happy for you. But really, it's none of my business. I shouldn't have made you feel pressured to tell me."

"After my experience today, I realized there are far worse things out here than caring about someone."

Chakotay and Kathryn watched B'Elanna glance across the room at Tom. "Yeah, I guess there are," she said quietly.

Chakotay pulled her attention back. "B'Elanna, do you think Kathryn's and my relationship will cause problems with the crew?"

"Problems? Why would it?"

"Well, for one, the captain getting involved with someone under her command is against the rules."

"We're a long way from Starfleet," she said with a laugh. "We're a long way from anything Starfleet ever imagined. We've already broken some protocols out here in favor common sense." The engineer turned to Kathryn. "You don't believe the crew would hold that stupid protocol against you, do you?"

"I don't know," Kathryn answered. "It is something I have considered."

B'Elanna shook her head sadly. "No, Captain. The crew wants the same thing for you that we do for each other - to make the best of our situation and be happy. Look, I won't say anything. It's your decision how you want to handle things from here. Just know that I'm happy for you, and everyone else will be, too."

"Thank you, B'Elanna," Kathryn said sincerely. "Now go and enjoy your dinner before it gets cold."

Chakotay reached for her arm before she could stand up. "B'Elanna, I'm sorry if I was short with you earlier. You caught me off guard, and I was worried about the captain."

"I'm half-Klingon, Chakotay. Come to engineering on a bad day and I'll show you 'short'." He and Kathryn laughed. "The full report on the shuttle data will be ready in the morning." At Chakotay's nod, she went over to join Tom and Harry at the other table.

Chakotay pointed his fork at Kathryn's plate. "Your dinner is getting cold, too. Eat, love."

"Yes, sir," she laughed.

For the next half hour, they ate while she talked quietly about what she felt when the Doctor euthanized her during one death scenario, and of trying to get Kes to sense her presence. Kathryn didn't show much emotion since they were in the mess hall, but he could see her struggling to put the incident behind her.

When she eventually grew quiet, Chakotay watched as she rubbed her forehead and leaned over her empty plate. "Kathryn? What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you in pain?"

"Not really, I'm just tired."

"Then let's get you back to rest."

She swept her eyes to the bulkhead on her right for only the second time since they had entered. That spot was where the alien, disguised as her father, had disappeared back into his matrix. She continued to stare until the memory's red glow receded into shipboard gray. Chakotay's warm, solid hand gripped hers across the table, recalling her to his presence and his love.

"Take me home," she said with a smile.