That's not how it went!

Chapter Two of the Fuckin' Thuggz Arc

Same warnin'.

Next day, Naruto just chops down the tree with his penis, and Sasuke's like, "What the fuck, do you snort Viagra by the pound?" And Naruto's like, "No, man, I snort it by the ounce," And Kakashi pops up, and he's like, "If you snort Viagra for more than fifteen years, your dick will fall off." And Naruto's like, "Awwww, no way!"

So everyone but Naruto go off the day after that day to guard the drunk while he pisses on a bridge and lights it with a Gibson Les Paul as kindling. Then Naruto wakes up, and there are two metal freaks tryin' to kidnap the drunk's daughter for a gangbang, and he's like, "Fuck you, her ass is mine, beyotch!" And then Naruto busts out his mad Thugg skillz, and the two metal freaks are like, "Fuck!"

Meanwhile, at the bridge, Kakashi's fightin' mah man Zabuza while the mask fag's off fightin' Sasuke and Sakura and the drunk are getting it on. And the fag's whippin' Sasuke's ass, he's like, "You cannot harm me, I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" And Sasuke's like, "Well fuck that, you lame cop-off," And the fag kicks him in the nuts so hard he pisses out his nose.

And Zabuza's all like, "Your music videos will not work against me! I've got the powah of MTV!" And Kakashi's like, "Aw hell naw, you ain't gon' make me watch that for more than half an hour, are ya?" And Zabuza's like, "Heck yeah, I'mma gon' make you a fag!"

And Naruto shows up, and he's playin' a riff on a guitar, and Kakashi's like, "What the fuck are you doin' idiot, are you a Thugg or not!" And so Naruto's like, "Man, shut the fuck up, so I'm not rappin' right now, ya dillhole." And Zabuza's like, "That's nice, you stay there while I anally ream this muthafucka here," and Kakashi's like, "Damn, I'm already constipated."

So Naruto goes to help Sasuke, and the fag's like, "Don't 'choo know who ah am! Ah'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" And Naruto's like, "Goddamn, I can't skeet," And Sasuke's like, "What, did you forgot to snort your Viagra?" And Naruto's like, "No, I put on my undies wrong."

And Kakashi's back over there like, "Whatsay we have ourselves a little duel?" And Zabuza's like, "Honghong! I challenge you!" And slaps him with this dinky little white glove. And then they walk around, and both of them whip out 9 mm Glocks and start shootin' at each other's balls, but since both of them were Thugg enough to wear a ball plate, nothin' happens.

Back on the other side, Sakura came for the eleventh time as the drunk spanks her.

Sasuke's like, "Oh my gawd, Naruto's gon' die!" And he jumps in front of the fag just as he skeets, and he's like, "Ah! I was gonna be more Thuggish than my bastard of a brother…" And Naruto's like, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Like all blonde heroes have to. And then he's like, "Ridin' in my benzo, poppin' my colla, see some fine wenches, I have ta holla," And Haku's like, "Noooo! Not Dr. Dre!" And Naruto's like, "Haha fucker!"

Somewhere with the two big Thuggs, Kakashi's like, "Alright bitch, time to break out the big guns!" And Zabuza's like, "OKAAAY!" And he busts out an AK-47 and shoots off Kakashi's afro. And Kakashi's like, "Okay, maybe we put away the big guns," And Zabuza's like, "Okay," and shoots out one of Kakashi's gold teeth with the Glock. And Kakashi's like, "Ow! Eat this, muthafuckin' sucka!" And he pulls out an RPG and fires it at Zabuza and Zabuza's like, "Aw fuck."

And then the fag jumps in front of it, and he's all like, "Zabuza, sir, remember our nights together!" And Zabuza's like, "Haha! Haku has saved me, die bitch!" And he whips out a box-cutter and tries to stab Kakashi, but Kakashi's off preppin' a fix, and Zabuza joins him.

Then Gatou comes along, and he's all like, "Well fuck you too, Zabuza, I'mma kill you with my metal freaks!" And Zabuza's all like, "Fuck you, muthafucka! For Haku!" And he runs off and gets shot through the arms by snipers and then he stabs Gatou with a blade he tied to his dick.

So Team 7 goes back to Konoha after their first real Thugg fight.

Couple weeks after they come back, couple Thuggs pop out, and they's like, "Come on, let's fuck up Konoha!"

Then Sakura and Naruto find 'em, and them are like, "Hey, fuck you fuckers!" And the fat Thugg's like, "Right back atcha, wigger!" And he does this weird fag hand motion, and suddenly Naruto's like, "Woah, the room's spinning!" And Sakura's like, "What the hell, we're not in a room!" And the fat Thugg's like, "Haha fucker!" And the woman Thugg's like, "Fuck you, fucker, stop playin' around with these wannabes."

And Sasuke pops up, and he's all like, "CRAWLING IN MY SKIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL" And then the other Thugg's other Thugg pops up and he's like, "Shut it with that fag emo shit, or I'mma keel you." And then the Thuggs leave.

Kakashi finds 'em, and he's like, "Well hello there fuckers, I've nominated you for the medium-level Thugg exam." And Naruto's all like, "If I were a fag, I'd blow you," And Sakura's like, "Ah am gonna blow you," And Sasuke's like, "Linkin Park rulez!" And then everyone else is like, "How the fuck did this fucker ever become a Thugg?"

And then when Naruto Sasuke and Sakura are at the exam place, they're all like, "Hot damn, this place is jam-packed! We could have an orgy!" And so everyone has an orgy, and Sakura gets quintuple-penetrated everywhere, and Naruto anally reams some random dude.

Someone tell me about historical inaccuracies.