The next month kind of rolled into one for Star. She went through the motions with the boys, almost robotically, but her heart really wasn't in it anymore. David seemed to pay less and less attention to her yet he still expected her to do as he said when he said it and showed no signs of letting her go. It was as if he was trapped with her just as much as she was trapped with him only he had all the control and the authority and she had none leaving her feeling more like a possession than a partner. She had all but given up on pursuing any kind of ultimate freedom and had settled for the small portions of alone time he afforded to her. She had also begun blindly abiding by David's rules with no questions asked, in order to keep the peace, as there was still the underlying fear she had for him and his unpredictable moods but she appreciated the fact that David had given her licence to roam the Boardwalk without him and his boys. Sometimes with Laddie and sometimes without, but she still wasn't permitted to leave without David. Despite it all, the Boardwalk was where she managed to find some happiness. There she could wander aimlessly without a care in the world, almost as they did, and she could be free of their mockery and judgement. She would pretend that she was uncontrolled, as uncontrolled as everyone else was, to do as she pleased and she immersed herself in the live music, finding that was her favourite place. No one questioned her or expected anything of her and she could hide from the nagging pain in her stomach and in her mind that wanted blood and instead she would dance. She would soak up the energy and revel in the atmosphere of the life around her and try to forget but it was getting harder and harder as time went on. She would go and sit on the beach and feel the sand beneath her feet and collect trinkets and pretend she was just another tourist enjoying the summer on the coast. But her nights would inevitably end with the familiar call from David for her to come back to him and she would ride with him back to her cold rocky home. She had accepted her life as it was but hadn't quite given up on the hope that someone somewhere would be able to help her. David had stopped asking her to bring him and the boys victims but she suspected he still covertly used her for that purpose. He had pretty much stopped everything with her, he barely spoke to her and the odd occasions he did want to have sex with her, he still seemed to show a lack of interest and she was suspected was off hooking up with other girls with the boys, probably before they killed them. She wondered if he would change back to the way he was with her in the beginning if she turned but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
She sat on the couch watching them get themselves ready to go out and David told her to stay in the cave with Laddie and they had left. She busied herself by hanging up more cotton and sheer curtains around hers and Laddie's beds but she could see Laddie was bored.
'Do we have to stay here? Why couldn't we go with them?' Laddie complained while he sat on the fountain edge, next to the fallen chandelier in the centre of the room, swinging his legs feeling annoyed.
'Because David said.' Star told him.
'So? He could have let us walk around the Boardwalk like we usually do. Why do we have to be stuck here?' He asked looking down and kicking his foot harder.
'I don't know.' She answered him troubled and she wondered the same thing. She tried not to think about what they were up to but she couldn't help herself.
'Shall we go down to the beach? You could go for a swim?' She offered him. She knew David wouldn't like it but she also figured David would be too busy and distracted to really care if they went down to the beach for a couple of hours. The more she thought of it, the more she wondered if he would even care if they went down there at all, she had the feeling he just didn't want them on the Boardwalk tonight. He barely cared about anything she or Laddie did anymore, so they went down to Greyhound Rock Beach and Laddie went down to the water and began to fire off rocks and shells into the rolling waves. Star stood and smiled as she watched him take out his frustration on the inanimate objects, then she turned and began to slowly walk up the length of the beach. The night was warm and there were still a few people buzzing around from the day. She found a shell with intricate edges and elaborate markings and she picked it up and kept walking. She looked up and the sky was cloudless and the many stars that were out in the sky were clear and bright, brighter that she could remember ever seeing them before and she became a little mesmerised by them until she was snapped out of it by the sound of Laddie's laughter and she looked back to see him talking and playing with some other kids. She stood and watched him for a while and she enjoyed seeing him play with kids his own age and seeing him be a kid and doing kid things was nice. David would never allow him to interact with any of the kids on the Boardwalk which made her think Laddie was left a little lonely, even though Paul and Dwayne were like his mates. Then as she watched, her smile faded when she thought she saw his eyes glint red and him go to grab one of the kids but she soon realised they were just playing and her fear was slightly alleviated. Sadness engulfed her with the reality that he could kill one of the kids just as quickly as the boys could, just as she could and she was reminded of how wrong it was for David to have done this to a child. They had been down there for just over an hour and the other kids were called away by their parents and she caught Laddie watching them go and be with their parents and then he looked over at her and he came running up to her shaking the water from his hands.
'I'm hungry.' Laddie said, wiping the wet hair out of his eyes.
'OK, let's go get you something to eat from the food stand at the end of the street.' She said.
'No, I mean I'm hungry. I could smell the blood in their bodies and it made my stomach hurt.' He corrected her and she froze and looked down at him. 'I'm becoming like them, aren't I?' He asked her and kneeled down to his level.
'No, you are not like them. You will never be like them.' She tried to reassure and comfort him but it was in vain, even she doubted her own words now. The thirst for her was like having nails driven into her veins and she figured it must be just as bad for a little boy who didn't have nearly the will power that she did. 'Come on, we better get back.' She told him looking around the beach. The safest place for Laddie was back at the cave and away from any people right now. They made their way up to the Bluff and down into the cave entrance and Laddie ran straight over to where David kept the bottle of his blood and he took a large gulp of the contents.
'Laddie, no!' Star screamed at him and she rushed over to take the bottle off him. 'David will know you have drunk it without permission.' She said putting the cork back in the neck and placing the bottle on the table. David's blood was intense and she could see the instant effect it had on the boy and she hoped she could get him to sleep before the boys arrived back for the day but she knew he would want to see Dwayne before he slept.
'When will they be back?' He asked, his little cherub face flushed and his pupils dilated. Although he looked wired, she could tell he was also sleepy.
'I'm not sure. Go and lie in bed and as soon as they arrive back, I will tell Dwayne to come and see you.' He smiled at her words and he bounced off and got into bed clutching his teddy bear and lay on his side. She lit two more of the barrels and collected together some of her latest shells and ornaments and decided what she was going to do with them. She settled on stringing them up along the wall attached to a piece of driftwood. She placed holes in the items and tied them to the stick and hung it amongst the strands of weeds growing along the cave walls and she was happy with the result. It was late when she was done and she was surprised they weren't back yet, she wasn't sure how close it was to sunrise but she was feeling the pull of sleep so she guessed it couldn't be far away. She walked over to her bed, tucking Laddie in under his blanket on the way. It's not that it was cold, vampires didn't feel the cold anyways, but it was more a maternal gesture that made her feel like she was taking care of the boy within the nightmare existence he lived. She lay on her bed with her eyes growing heavy and before she knew it, she was asleep.
Star was walking down the main Boardwalk but it was totally empty. Everywhere she looked was void of people and there were small bits of paper scattered all over the ground and blowing around in the wind. All the lights were still on and she kept walking along the path, stopping at the Looff Carousel and watching the horses rise and fall to the jingling music when out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of someone standing over the other side of the Carousel but with the movement of the horses she was unable to see who it was. She moved to try and see the face of the person but he still alluded her.
'Stop.' She turned her head to the right to see David slowly walking towards her. 'He's not for you to see.' He said.
'Why not?' She asked turning back to try and see the man opposite her.
'Star, I said don't.' He sounded serious and she turned back to look at him and his eyes were burning red and he was now standing close to her. 'Someone is here to see you.' He said motioning over her shoulder and as she turned, she was face to face with her father and he reached out to touch her shoulder.
Suddenly she was awoken by a hand on her shoulder and she jumped in fright, her heart beating hard in her chest.
'Did you touch the bottle?' She opened her eyes to see David standing there above her. 'Did you give it to him?' His question changed and she didn't immediately click as to what he was talking about.
'What?' She asked him.
'The bottle, did you give it him?' He repeated annoyed.
'No, I didn't.' She looked at him and he stood there maintaining eye contact with her for a few seconds then he released her gaze.
'Fucking kids.' He said under his breath before he walked off and she went back to sleep.