#1 - Cakes on a Plane
Timmy sat with his lovely mother whilst eating a delicious sandwich. Little did he know that the day had horrible things in store for him. Wretched things than would tear his heartstrings piece from sentimental piece, spiraling him into seven doomed dimensions of dramatic proportions in a concurrent event interwoven discriminately into a winding plot-line full of convulsions and reprimanding materials and objects. In other words, his day would be full of bad luck.
A blonde stewardess in a blue dress came up to the boy.
"I'm sorry little boy, but we don't have any juice," she said sweetly.
"Dammit to hell!" said the child of 3 years.
"I can get you a nice delicious cake though!" said the stewardess politely.
"Hells yes!" said the small boy.
After 63 minutes, the stewardess returned with a large cake.
"Here you go, fatty fatty two by four!" she smiled, pinching his cheek and walking away. Then the boy began to fiendishly eat his cake. His hand connected with something solid. It was inside the cake, and he couldn't pull it out. After getting out of his chair and trying, he still had no luck. Then he tied a string to the solid object and the other end to the bathroom door. Then he quickly pulled the door open, and a clown came flying out of the cake! He had vicious, sharp teeth!
"I'm gonna eat you for dinner, lunch, breakfast and snack time!" said the clown. Then he grabbed the boy and ripped out his entrails. Awful slobbering and slurping noises came from the clown as he feasted upon the sausage-like material. Blood dribbled down his chin and the boy screamed in pain. Then he shattered the boy's ribcage and ripped out his lungs with long sharp fingernails. He ate them whole and laughed the whole time. He then proceeded to put the boy on the floor and stomp his foot on the boys nuts, crushing them like grapes. He then ripped his pants open and ate his genitals. Blood splurged from the boy's chest like a mad fountain and he writhed in pain. Then the clown took his sharp nails and stabbed them into the boy's eyeballs, piercing his retinas. An oozy white gel mixed with crimson came spurting out of the boy's eyes. Then the evil clown pulled out his eyes and ate them. He then took the boy's arm and put it in the bathroom doorway. He then took the door and slammed it shut on the boys arm. It immediately snapped off, and the clown took the half that came off and started beating the boy's legs with it. Then he took a wrench and put them on the boy's toes and tightened it ever so slowly until the boys toenails popped off of his feet. Blood spurted all over the place and then he eventually popped his toes. The clown moved up to the boys face, and popped all the boy's zits ever so slowly and carefully. Then he scratched his cheeks open and ripped out parts of the bone in his head. It was quite gross. Then the clown turned the boy over in a pool of blood and ripped his spine out. Blood went everywhere when he did this, and then he started to beat the back of the boy's head with it. Eventually his head was crushed in and the clown took his dripping brains out of his head and shoved them down his throat. He then bit the kids head off and drunk the blood from the opening. Then the beastly clown ripped open the boys back and pulled out his liver, which was soaked in blood. He used it to write 'die' on the wall with the boy's own blood. Then he flipped the boy over and took each rib by one and snapped them out of his rib cage. He collected them in a nice little pile on the side of the aisle. Then it took the boys heart out, which was still connected to tons of veins. As he lifted it up, all the veins came with it and it made a network of thousands of veins. The evil beast thing took his sharp nails and cut them all. Blood went literally everywhere, showering everything around them. There was so much blood that it could have filled a pool. The clown proceeded to take the ribs and play a drum solo with them. Then he went back to the boy. He sloshed tons of blood away and began eating the boy's insides, including his bladder and anus tubes. The boy was almost empty, so the clown took the skin and cut a square out of it. Then he took the skin square and folded it hot-dog way then hamburger way. He then cut little people into it with his nails. When he unfolded it, it made the image of a bunch of people holding hands. He then ate this and the rest of the boy's skin. Then he went back in the cake.
No one noticed.