FALL: CPOV
"You haven't said a word since you got in the car. What's up, man? And why did you call me so frantic to come get you? Where is your bike?"
I feel the bile rising in my throat as I think about answering these questions Elliott is firing off at me. I swallow it down and begin to take deep breaths as I try to slow my accelerating heart rate. "Downtown. Off Snyder Street"
"What the fuck? What's it doing there?"
Shit. Definitely going to be sick. "El stop the car"
"What?"
"STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING CAR" I yell. The car has barely slowed to a stop before I'm out of the car and puking all over the side of the road. What the fuck, Mike. How can you die? And just leave me here. It was supposed to be you and me against the world… I was willing to lend you to Alli but even that came with regulations. You've been my best friend since we were six fucking years old! You were my only friend… when the other kids wouldn't talk to me… This trip down memory lane has me getting sick again. What makes you think I can take care of Emma!? And with Steele!? I know you thought we would be good together but when are you going to get that it's just not going to happen?
"What the fuck, you're just hungover? Or still drunk from last night or what?" I hear Elliott say from the car.
I shake my head no. "Neither." I say standing up upright and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I get back in his car and put my hand on the ignition to stop him from starting the car. I need peace. I need quiet. I need to be still for a minute while I prepare to say the words out loud for the first time. "Michael and Alli…" I start. "They… died last night" I somehow manage to get the words out.
"WHAT?!" Elliott yells and I feel my heart breaking all over again. "How.. why… when… where!?"
"Car accident" I say simply. I can't even get into the details.
"Emma!?" He says immediately.
I gulp wondering how he's going to take this. "She's okay. She was with a babysitter. She wasn't in the car" I feel the tears well in my eyes and I am glad that I was able to keep it together around Steele because I feel like I'm seconds from losing it now.
"Shit." He puts a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see the tears in his eyes as well. "I'm so sorry, C. Fuck… why didn't you call me?"
"It all happened so fast. I got the call and when I got to the hospital, Steele was already there and she was borderline hysterical and then I crashed at her place and-"
"Wait… you stayed with her? Did you guys-"
"What!? No.."
"Grief and death… that brings people together" he crosses his arms looking at me. My brother has it in his head that Steele and I were made for each other. I don't know how that's possible. We are at each other's throats most of the time. And no it's not one of those things where we fight because we are trying to hide our feelings. We fight because I find her a irritating as hell and she thinks I'm a cocky son of a bitch. And now I have to raise a child with her. Great.
"No.. no fuck no… will you just let that shit go"
"I don't know why you're denying that you want her. You're so hot for her it's unreal"
"Fuck off Elliott. Now is really not the time"
"You're right. It's not. We will circle back to that later. Where is Emma now?"
"With Steele at Michael and Alli's"
"Oh good, she's with Ana. So what's going to happen to her?"
"Well… that's why my bike is still downtown. It's at CPS"
"C-P-S?"
"Child Protective Services"
"Oh" he nods. "So you got Emma from there?"
I nod back. "Yeah… Michael and Alli…" I look up at the sky flashing it my middle finger. "They left Emma to me and Ana" It feels weird to say her name. I haven't called her it in years but I just don't have the energy to put in my usual snark when I say her name.
"You're shittin me"
"They had essentially no close family. Alli and Michael were both only children. Hell I was the closest thing Michael had to a brother. You know Michael's parents aren't here and Alli's parents are less than desirable candidates. It's basically us, or distant relatives that maybe haven't seen Emma since she was born. Or… she goes into the system"
"Jesus" Elliott says rubbing his face. "So… you're going to do it…? Adopt her?"
"What choice do I have?" I say and he narrows his eyes at me.
"That's not the right attitude to have, dude. We are adopted… you can't just… you have to be all in… like mom and dad. You have to want it. This is a big deal. This is a child."
"Mom and Dad were ready for children, they were prepared. We didn't fall into their lap one night out of nowhere! I am sorry I'm not jumping for joy to play house with someone I can barely stand and raise a child for the next eighteen years. I have a life. A badass life that doesn't include diapers and shit and staying up all night and… oh living in their house! I would do anything in the world for Emma but I'm allowed to be less than thrilled with the situation that led to this. I didn't expect any of this… I don't know if I'm ready.. for this life."
"I get that. And wait what do you mean live in their house?"
"They want us to live in their house. They left us their house" I repeat.
"Okay well no one expects you to do that, you and Ana can co-parent without being under the same roof."
"Until the adoption is final, the state is paying for the house. And it's supposed to help with normalcy, I don't know" I groan. "I mean I wouldn't mind saving the money for the next six months not that I'm strapped for cash. But just… Ana… and me under the same roof? What did I do in my past life to deserve the torture?"
"Okay dramatics aside please." He's silent for a minute before he turns to look at me. "Is this what you want?"
"I want what's best for Emma"
"You do this… you can't change your mind in a few years"
"I know that"
"Having a child isn't like… well anything else in the world. We more than anyone know what it's like when parents just give up on you… don't want you… You can't bail on Emma in a few years. No one would judge you for walking away from this now. Emma is still so young she would forget you"
I wince at the thought of Emma forgetting me. I don't want her to forget me. She's my little princess. "I agreed to six months. I haven't even had six hours to process everything."
"That's fair. I want you to really think about this though. Mom and Dad are going to have a lot to say as well."
I run a hand over my face as I let out a loud groan. Can I just have a moment with my thoughts please!? Or just some time to talk all of this out with Ana before everyone wants to share their opinions or advice or whatever? "Let me tell them, please"
"It's not my place"
"Thanks"
He starts the car again and shakes his head. "Fuck Alli and Mike were… they were good people."
"The best"
"And that poor little baby"
"You see? She's alone in the fucking world, I can't turn my back on her. And Steele wouldn't agree to it. So even if I walked away… she would take care of her. But I… I care about her too, El. She needs me just as much as she needs Steele."
He nods before he pulls back onto the road, where we ride in complete silence.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
We make it back to the house in two and a half hours to a completely quiet house. There is no one on the main floor and I go to yell for Steele when I stop myself, wondering if maybe Emma is asleep. Elliott and I set my stuff down and we walk up the stairs in search of them. I open the nursery to find Steele in a rocking chair, gently rocking back and forth. I take a moment before she notices us to take her in. It's a shame she's such a neurotic pain in the ass, she really is quite beautiful. I remember the first time I laid eyes on her. I was lost. Those blue eyes stunned me. They were so clear and such a bright shade of blue. I rarely got nervous around women. Women were nervous around me. But she was confident and feisty and it turned me the fuck on. So somewhere between her looks and her attitude I found myself drinking more than usual. Maybe out of nerves? Who knows. She didn't seem to be phased by me. And I found myself trying to.. I don't know impress her? Charm her? Get into her panties. But there must have been something lost in translation- the night was a blur, because she went from being indifferent to seemingly hating my guts. And in response that pissed me off. The waitress had been all over my nuts all night and maybe I was feeling a little rejected by Ana… so I went with it. I mean Steele had made it clear that I had no shot with her. So why not? Imagine my shock when Steele got a little… jealous? And thus our relationship bloomed. She finally notices us in the doorway and she nods before she gets up slowly to lay Emma in her crib. She follows us out and closes the door softly. "Shit!" she says snapping her fingers. "Baby monitor" She comes out with both of them and hands me one. "Here make sure you can hear me." She closes the door and I hear "can you hear me" come through the speaker.
"No" I reply back.
"Dick" she whispers before coming out, having left hers in the room next to Emma's crib. She snatches mine out of my hand. "Hi Elliott" she says.
"Hi Ana" he wraps her in a hug and I roll my eyes.
"Do you two want to get a room?" I snort before moving back down the stairs.
"Shut up, ass. Some people are just nice. I know that's a concept that you aren't too familiar with." Steele bites back.
"I reserve that for people that don't make me want to rip my hair out" I see her narrow her eyes at me before Elliott steps between us effectively blocking her from my line of sight.
"I am sorry for your loss" he says to her and she nods.
"Thank you"
We move into the kitchen and I watch as Steele puts her ear to the monitor several times a minute. "Christian told me what you guys are doing. I know it's a terrible situation what led to this, but I think what you are doing is remarkable" Elliott says.
Ana sits the baby monitor down and looks at me before turning to my brother. "I'm not going to turn my back on Emma. I know that your brother doesn't think very highly of me and the feeling is mutual. But I have a feeling he doesn't want to turn his back on her either. They were our best friends. We owe them… I owe Alli…a lot. We trusted each other with everything and now she's trusted me with her daughter. I've never let her down before I'm certainly not going to start now… when it matters the most." It doesn't escape me that my eyebrows furrow when she says that we don't think highly of one another. It's not that I don't think highly of her… she's just… annoying… and neurotic… and she drives me crazy! It's not that I don't think she's a good person. Does she think I'm not a good person?
"You don't think I'm a good person?" I blurt out and I cringe inwardly. Did you have to say that outloud, you pussy?
"What?" She asks looking over at me.
"You said you don't think highly of me"
"You don't think the world of me either. I just meant we aren't the biggest fans of each other"
"But you don't think I'm a good person?"
"You're not particularly my cup of tea, no. But… I don't think you're a bad person, Christian"
"Well now that it's settled" Elliott says shooting me a look that says I need to relax. "I want you guys to know that I'm here for whatever you guys need. If you need a babysitter or… whatever. I loved Michael and Alli… and you're not alone in this"
"Thanks Elliott. But… this isn't your responsibility" she says and despite my feelings about her I have to admire her in this moment. I think if I walked away she could truly do this on her own. And there's something to be said for that.
"I know. But I want to help… if you need it"
She nods and gives him a small smile before getting up to head upstairs. I wonder if she's going to check on Emma, God knows I've been dying to. Who knows if those baby monitors are really working…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
About an hour later, Elliott is gone and Steele and I are sitting at the kitchen table attempting to come up with some sort of "schedule." She has highlighters, different colored post- it notes to match the highlighters and her computer open with an excel sheet.
"So your games are always at night?" She says looking up at me from the large calendar she has spread out.
I shake my head. "No. I do have some daytime games on the weekends. I'll try to get out of some of those though. How often do you have to go to the bakery?"
"I try to go everyday but…" she trails off. "I can work around it. I have a somewhat competent manager"
"If you own it why do you have to go at all?" I ask leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms.
"Because it's my job"
"But you're not actually doing the baking"
"Actually I bake too" she says sitting her pen down and cocking her head to the side.
"Can't you just pay people to do that?"
She puts her head in her hands. "You are infuriating. I work just like you do. Just because I don't have a boss doesn't mean I don't have things to do everyday. Things that I have to leave the house to do"
"But you can take Emma… I mean it's a bakery…" I say with an eye roll. "It's not like you're in an office or anything"
"And you're in an office… what do you even do anyway?"
"I'm a sports entertainment director for King5 Sports. It's kind of like ESPN in the sense that it covers a wide range of sports and we have our own anchors covering but it's not on a National level. It's more local. Though we do cover nationally televised games as well. Point is I can't take a baby to the studio, get a clue. I'm literally staring at the screens for an extended period of time" She's clearly on something if she thinks I can take Emma to the studio to sit in a room with 9 other people as we are controlling the cameras. How am I supposed to hold her, or change her or keep her busy while I'm working?
"What does that even mean?"
"When a game is on, I control the cameras, I tell them when to cut to a commercial… shit like that" I say. It's not rocket science, Steele. She nods her head. "So no, I can't take her. There's times the studio needs to be quiet, there's times we're really noisy. But I have to be focused on seven to eight screens at once, so no I can't have Emma there." She nods in understanding. "You can't set up one of those playpen things in an office while you're there?"
"Christian I'm not just in there with my feet up tasting pies! I can't just bring her to work with me. I'm constantly running around. We do some catering events, where I have to be there. My business is still new so I'm on the floor a lot, interacting with customers. So we are going to have to coordinate-"
I put a hand up before she starts on her tangent. "Look I'm not saying everyday, but there's going to be times when we both have to work, and I'm JUST trying to come up with a gameplan"
She stands up from her chair and glares at me. "A gameplan that's me carrying more of the weight? You want me to go to work and balance taking care of an infant? She's already walking a little and you want to risk her being able to climb out of her playpen?.. In an area where I have multiple ovens?"
"Fine!" I yell back. "Stupid idea. What about daycare?" I say raising a hand in defeat.
"On the weekend?"
"Okay… how about YOU come up with something, if you're going to shoot down all of mine"
"How long are your games?"
"Couple hours depending…"
"Depending on..?" She trails off wanting me to finish.
"If they go into overtime, depending on the sport. You have seen a football game right? Those can be like up to four hours. And we are in the heart of football season"
"Why don't we just…" she lets out a breath. "Take it one week at a time for now. This week we shouldn't have any problems. Our schedules coordinate fine"
"Fine" I say. "You going to care if I go out later?"
"What?" She asks as she closes the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water.
"After Friday night games, sometimes we go out after. You care?"
"You're kidding right"
"I'm not going to party but excuse me if I need a drink?"
"We haven't even buried our friends, we have their daughter asleep upstairs and you want to go get drunk?"
"The reasons you just gave are exact reasons why I need to. You think I'm not hurting? You think I'm not coping with what happened? But life fucking goes on, Steele" I see her lip tremble and I tell myself to stop but I can't. She's opened Pandora's box. "You have NO idea what I'm feeling or what I'm going through. You don't get to judge me because I need space to wrap my head around everything"
"You think you're the only one that needs space! That needs five minutes of just FUCKING PEACE! I haven't even been able to grasp what I'm feeling because-" her rant is interrupted by a doorbell and she groans. "Godddd what now!" We move towards the door and open it revealing a young woman holding what looks like a casserole.
"Hi.. I… am so sorry to intrude like this. I'm Charlotte… we've met a few times? I live a few doors down and I'm.. kinda here on behalf of the neighborhood. We didn't want to all come and overwhelm you. But we just wanted to check in and see how y'all were doing. And… if Emma was okay. We are all very sorry for your loss."
I take the time to look her over while she speaks. How have I not remembered her if I've met her? Was I drunk? Have I slept with this girl? I let my eyes linger on her breasts before trailing them down to her hips and I wish she would turn just a bit for me to get a glimpse of her ass. Damn she's fine. I know I'm caught as her eyes meet mine and her eyes tell me everything I need to know. I hear a huff next to me when Steele steps forward taking the casserole from Charlotte.
"Thank you for bringing this." She turns to leave before looking back at me. "Please be mindful that Emma is asleep"
I close the door behind us and away from Ana's nosy eyes and ears leaving Charlotte and I alone on the porch. "So Charlotte… you married?" I ask cutting right to the chase.
She bites her lip before looking up at me. "Divorced" she smiles.
"I have a game later but.. Maybe I could swing by after? We could… have a drink?"
Her eyes sparkle and I know that look. She wants me. "That sounds great. I'm sure I'll be up"
"Great" I wink at her. "Catch you later, Charlene"
"Charlotte" she corrects and I nod.
"Right" and with that I head back into the house. I need a cold shower or to rub one out or both when I see Steele in the entrance to the foyer staring at me.
"Oh wow, that was quick. Remind me how you get all the girls again if it only takes you" she looks down at her watch. "Two and a half minutes" she walks by me and up the stairs and I can't stop watching that pert ass of hers clench with every step. I shake my head. I really do need to get laid if I'm looking at Steele's ass.
"Fuck you, Steele. Actually that's probably what you need to get the stick out of your ass" I'm moving up the stairs behind her and I spin her around on the first landing to look at me. "Don't concern yourself so much with what I'm doing. I'm sorry, will it hurt your feelings if I fuck the neighbor?"
She scoffs. "Be my guest. Hope you wrap it up. If she's willing to drop her panties for a guy that calls her the wrong fucking name she probably has more STDs than standards"
Was she listening? The thought makes me laugh. Why does she care so much? "Were you listening? Aw… were you jealous?" I sneer.
"Bite me" she tells me before moving up the stairs as I trail behind her. She stops mid step and turns around. "I really couldn't care less what you do. Go out with your friends, fuck every woman on the block, party till your heart's content. But.. you have responsibilities now. We both do. We are both used to only worrying about ourselves. And now… it's going to be an adjustment. I went out and I partied and I've had one night stands. But we both need to grow up now. So just… do right by Emma. And we won't have any problems. I know we don't like each other… but we have to try… for her. Because we're all she's got" She says before climbing the remainder of the stairs and into the nursery before closing the door. I think as a way to tell me not to come in.
XXXXXXXXXXX
I'm due at the studio in an hour when I head down the stairs. I forced myself to get some sleep and then showered, so I haven't seen Steele since earlier. A mouth watering smell starts to waft through the house as I descend the stairs and move into the kitchen to see Ana pulling two cakes out of the oven.
"You bake at home?"
"For practice"
"Smells good" she narrows her eyes at me curiously as if she's shocked by my compliment.
"I do need a test subject… if you want to try it"
My eyes widen and I can't escape the smile that crosses my face. I have a serious sweet tooth, maybe living with Steele will have its perks. "I'm in, what is it?"
"It has to cool though before I can ice it.. unless you just want the plain cake. I've been trying to revamp my mint chocolate cake recipe. Sometimes it's too minty, sometimes not enough mint. I'm just trying to get it just right." She scoops some icing from the bowl with her finger and slides it between her lips and the fleeting thought of her mouth wrapped around something else flashes through my head. Stop it, Grey.
"I can wait for you to ice it" I say as I pick Emma up. "Bye Princess, I'll be back later, okay?" I pepper her face with kisses causing her to squeal. I rub her back in circles and she lays her head on my shoulder. "Oh someone is sleepy" I say kissing her forehead.
"No!" Emma yells and my heart stops as it's the first thing she's said since we picked her up this morning. Does she feel that things are off? Children can sense these things. Does she realize that Michael and Alli aren't here? I'm sure she recognizes Steele and I but how long till she starts asking for Mommy and Daddy?
I feel her presence next to me and see her hand stroking Emma's back. "You're not sleepy, pumpkin?" She shakes her head and sticks her thumb in her mouth as she continues to keep her head on my shoulder. Steele pulls her thumb gently from her mouth before replacing it with her pacifier and giving her a kiss on her cheek. "I'm going to feed her and then give her a bath and put her to bed"
I nod at her. "I know I said…" I trail off. "I shouldn't be too late." I mean maybe she had a point… we are all kinds of fucked up about what happened but I can't just go on a bender. Alcohol, sex, staying out all night, that's how I would usually cope with the bullshit but now I have people that depend on me… Emma.. and Steele.
She rolls her eyes at me. "You don't have a curfew, Christian. Do what you want. I won't set the alarm so you won't trip it when you open the door. Just set it when you come back in"
"Steele you need to set it. I don't want you here late by yourself without it on" It seems like a decent neighborhood but you can never be too certain.
"I'll be fiiiine" she says dramatically.
I set Emma back in her highchair. "Just do it" I bark at her.
"You're not the boss of me!" She stamps her foot and puts her hands to her hips cocking her head to the side. Damn she's so stubborn… and it's cute as hell.
"I'm not trying to be the boss of you. Heaven forbid I'm fucking worried about you and Emma"
I see her resolve soften as she lowers her arms. "Fine. Hopefully it won't be too loud when you come in and activate it. And LANGUAGE!"
I roll my eyes at her. "I'll be quick."
"Don't forget the code"
"Relax, I won't" I say. And just that quick she's gone from cute to a giant nag.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I have to hand it to her, Steele can cook. I don't think I actually tasted the mint chocolate cake she gave me before I pushed it through my face. I'll definitely be attacking that when I get back home. I'm pulling into the studio and heading towards my office when I hear my name being called.
"GREY!" The owner of the station comes towards me and I roll my eyes. "You're late"
"Dock my pay" I say back.
"How are ya?"
"I'm alright" I say heading into my office. He follows behind me and sits on my couch making me wonder if he's planning to stay. "To what do I owe the visit?"
"I want you to cover tomorrow's game."
"The Mariners? I can't. I'm already covering tomorrow night's Seahawks game and I have a mountain of paperwork to get through Sunday"
"So? You're the best one I've got. You know Jared covered last night's game and he had the wrong god damn cameras for the two point conversion. Thank God it was a college game and not one of our nationally aired ones. There wasn't enough focus on the pass itself or the catch. I'm getting all kinds of heat right now."
"The game is at two, no Jeff." I don't exactly have the most normal relationship with my boss having known him since I was eighteen. I played lacrosse in high school and we went to states my senior year. I was the team captain and the MVP in the final game so when we won, they wanted to interview me and the coach after the game. I went to the studio later that month with my parents and Jeff told my parents I had the "it factor" and offered me an internship the summer before I left for college. I interned every summer after and he offered me a job right out of graduation. Jeff became more like a second parent, a guidance counselor, a friend as time went on.
"What the fuck, you always cover when I need you"
"Times have changed, Jeff and I have something of high importance to take care of tomorrow. Speaking of which" I pause. "I need next Thursday off."
"What the fuck for?"
"Funeral" I say as I hold his gaze, daring him to push me.
"I-I'm sorry.. for your loss.. who?"
I take a deep breath. "Michael and his wife"
He eyes me over his glasses and rubs a hand down his jaw over his graying beard. "Christian I… I'm sorry" Having met Michael a number of times he knew what our friendship meant to me. His eyes narrow at me. "Both of them?"
I nod unable to meet his eyes. "Yes" I say as I boot up my computer at my desk.
"Don't they have a daughter?" He says moving towards my desk and picking up the one and only picture I have. A picture of Emma, me and Michael from the day she was born.
"Yes"
"Where is she?"
I sigh before leaning back in my chair. "It's why times have changed Jeff. She's.. in my care now"
He raises an eyebrow at me. "You serious?"
"Yes."
"Is it permanent?"
"We are on a six month trial period. After then we will proceed with adoption or…" I clear my throat as I prepare to say the words. "she goes into the system"
"We?" He asks me.
"Myself… and her godmother"
He nods while looking at me before rubbing his finger over his lip. "The one that gets under your skin?"
I nod. "Yes"
"How's that going so far?"
"It's… going" I think about the cake she let me try, the argument this morning, the way she wrapped her lips around her finger and the spike in my heart rate it caused, the way she is fiercely protective of Emma… and I wonder.. How is it going… It's only been a day so far. What is this road we are going down? My annoyance with her has severely lessened the last day and a half. Is that the grief? Was Elliott right? Do death and grief bring people together? Even now I'm wondering what she's doing right now. Is she baking? Is she watching TV? Reading? Is she… thinking about me? Is Emma still awake? It's our first night with her… I should be there with her. I'm snapped from my thoughts when I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"It's going to be okay, son. Take all the time you need. I'll… get that asshole Jared for tomorrow" I nod my head in response as I make my way out of my office and onto the soundstage.
It was like every other game. Point camera one here, camera four there, focus on the point guard, he shoots, follow the ball. It was like going through the motions. Michael and I went to so many games together. Football, baseball, basketball, hockey, every sporting event I went to Michael was sitting next to me. You name it, we were there. Sports brought Michael and I together and now as I'm directing the cameras I can't see anything but me and my best friend sitting in the stands.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I take a deep breath as I sit in the bar by myself nursing the whiskey in front of me. I needed something to take the pain away. Maybe something stronger than this. I rub a hand over my head and signal for another. I really need to get home. I've only been out of work about thirty minutes, but I don't want to leave Ana alone too long. I leave my bike at the studio knowing I'm in no place to operate it when I find myself standing in front of Charlotte's house- the woman from earlier. The woman with the kind smile paired with the "come fuck me" eyes. I walk up the stairs to the porch and I see the lights are on in the living room and I wonder if she's sitting up waiting for me. My finger hovers over the doorbell. I need to clear my head, and sex usually does that for me. But can I really clear my head from this? Can I escape this with a faceless one night stand? I sigh before backing away slowly from the door and back down the street. I walk the few doors down to Michael and Alli's- or I guess my new home. The thought brings on the new but familiar pain associated with my best friend's death. I turn my key in the lock and open the door and I'm met with the familiar blaring sounds of the alarm.
"Shit" I mumble completely forgetting that I told Steele to set the alarm. I make my way over to the little white box and punch in the four numbers. "What the fuck?" I say to myself as the alarm continues to sound. I punch in the numbers again and it continues. "Are you kidding!?" "It's 4932! 4932!" Despite the blaring sound of the alarm I begin to hear Emma's crying over it and I groan. I hear the alarm start to get louder and more aggressively fast and I know what this means. The cops will probably be showing up here at any moment.
"Are you kidding me, Grey!?" I hear Steele as she comes bounding down the stairs and pushing me out of the way. She presses four buttons and the alarm stops. She looks at me with angry tired eyes. "What the fuck!?"
"I was pressing it! 4-9-3-2!" I say pointing to each number.
She looks at me as if I've grown three heads. "That's not the fucking code!" She says clearly exasperated that my mistake woke her… and Emma up in the middle of the night.
"Wait… what?"
"That's not the code. The code is 0817. Alli's birthday"
"Where did I get-" I pause before sighing in realization. "Shit that's my cellphone password"
She huffs and glares at me as she looks towards the sound of Emma's crying. "You're joking right? I told you to write the code down!" She shakes her head. "I just got her to bed like an hour ago. You go get her back to sleep" she moves closer to me and wrinkles her nose. "Actually scratch that. You smell like a distillery"
"I had two drinks, Steele. I do not"
I know she has some smartass remark to make when the doorbell rings and she groans. "Who the hell could that be?" she moves towards the door when I grab her arm pulling her behind me. I have a feeling it's the police making a routine visit for having tripped the alarm but I'm not taking any chances.
"No, it's late" I open the door and see two police officers standing in front of me. "Officers" I nod.
"Got a call about from the alarm company about this house. You folks okay? They said they tried to call you but the phone's were off?"
"No we didn't get any calls we-" I start when I feel Steele's hand wrapped around my arm.
"They wouldn't be calling us… we aren't the numbers on the account… Officers, the owners of this house were our best friends. They.. they died last night. Michael and Allison Northington"
The officer's eye us and nod knowingly. "You're their child's godparents… We… we were there last night. We are very sorry for your loss"
I nod, as I've gotten used to doing when someone says that. "Thanks"
"Let us know if you need anything" It doesn't escape me that the officer speaking is looking directly at Ana as she's in a tiny pair of shorts, and a silk camisole that leaves very little to the imagination. I'm sure she wasn't anticipating anyone seeing her like this when the blaring alarm roused her from sleep.
"Yeah sure" I say moving slightly in front of her blocking their view from her and shut the door in their faces. Dick. I could be… I mean we could be… Was he really making a pass at her at one in the morning while he's making a house call? Fucker. I realize the house is quiet now so Emma has at least stopped crying.
"0-8-1-7 Christian it's really not that hard. Write it down" she says and although I know it's my fault I really don't have it in me for her condescending attitude right now.
"I got it" I say through gritted teeth.
"Honestly Christian, it's four numbers"
"I. said. I. got. It." I say as I follow her up the stairs to Emma's room. I suppose the alarm stopping was enough to calm Emma down because she's now fallen back to sleep.
"Wonderful" Steele sighs as we leave her room. "I'm going back to sleep. I'm leaving here at 8 tomorrow morning. It would be great if you were awake."
"Got it"
"Okay… well.. Night"
"Night.. Sorry, about the alarm" I say before she closes her bedroom door. She turns back to look at me and offers me a small smile before she disappears behind her door.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I hear my alarm go off and I groan knowing that means I have about five minutes to get downstairs before Steele leaves and I'm left alone with Emma. I move down the stairs after brushing my teeth and I'm met with Steele moving around the kitchen as quick as lightning. I see Emma trying to follow her with her eyes as she sits in her high chair but I think even she's overwhelmed. "Morning" I yawn as I wipe my eyes with the heel of my hand.
"Oh there you are, I thought I was going to have to come wake you up" she says looking down at her watch.
"You said eight" I shrug.
"It's seven fifty-seven. Really could have used a few more minutes to talk about a few things"
"Like what?"
"Uh like what to feed Emma? When she should take a nap? I was thinking maybe you could take her out in the fresh air? Maybe go on a walk? Or to the park?"
"What is she going to do at the park? She's not even two"
"She can swing? I mean you just have to push her obviously"
"Fine" I say.
"You should read to her. You know to help with her vocabulary? And try not to say the N-O word so much. We need to break her of that word. She said it about fifty times yesterday"
"Okay"
She nods before picking up Emma. "Bye pumpkin. I'll see you later okay?" She kisses her cheek and the vision of her doing so makes my heart
Emma looks at her before furrowing her brow slightly. "Ana bye?"
"Yes, but I'll be back"
I see the tears flood her eyes and it's not lost on me that Emma didn't have this response when I left yesterday. "No!"
"Hey, I'll be back! And you'll be with Christian" she says turning around and pointing at me. "What does Emma call you?"
"Usually C-C but she hasn't called me anything since we picked her up… I haven't been around much the last month or so. Maybe she doesn't recognize me"
"Of course she does.. And… C-C?" She smiles at me. "That's cute"
"Michael called me C or CG and I don't know I guess she just picked it up. I think she's trying to call me CG. I don't know" I say as I place a kiss to Emma's temple. "Do you remember me, angel?" She smiles and I wonder if I have my answer when she throws her arms around my neck.
"C-C!"
"See! Maybe she just needed a reminder" Steele smiles at me and Emma before rubbing her back gently. "Call me if you need me. But try not to need me?"
"Got it"
"0-8-1-7!" She calls over her shoulder as she leaves the room. "Oh" she says as she walks back through. "We will need to talk about your transportation situation at some point."
"I'm not getting a fu- fre- minivan"
She shrugs. "I'm not asking you to? Just something you can put a car seat in would be great"
I scratch my head. "Fine"
"Where is your bike anyway?"
"At the studio.. Aren't you late?"
She looks down at her watch. "Yes, totally. Okay.. bye!" She says before she's out the door.
I cradle Emma in my arms before putting her back in her high chair so that she can finish her breakfast as I wonder what in the world the day is going to hold for us. Okay Christian, you can do this.
A/N: Next up: Christian's first day with Emma all alone!