A/N: Due to a reasonably high demand (thanks for that, it really meant a lot to me!) of a sequel of some sort, I now decided to write another chapter for this story. BUT I really want to insist that this is the last chapter. I won't write more. So please don't ask.

Also, I did some research into adoption – it's not the first time so I knew where to look, but anyway. I used what I could find, if it's not the correct way the government or companies deal with abortion, then I'm so sorry but this is what I found and this is what I'm going with.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

'I'm having their baby'

Chapter 2

He worked his butt off to get her back, she had to give him that. He had understood that before he could even think about getting their son back, he first had to have her back in his life. Because she wouldn't accept him fighting for their son if he wasn't completely on board this time. She had learned her lesson.

She watched as he prepared their meal. He did everything for her – from cooking to cleaning her apartment and ending in tying her shoe laces, sometimes. Everything. She wouldn't allow him to do this the rest of the year, let alone month, but for a few days, it felt good having someone around to help her – even though she never needed it in the first place.

She still hadn't forgiven him, and she doubted she ever would. And she could see that with the days passing, he was losing hope and she was losing the willpower to fake a smile.

What had happened here? She had used to be so in love with him, where was that feeling now? Had it left her when she had given away her only child?

After a week of using Jane as her personal slave, she had had enough. As she saw Jane getting the milk out of the fridge while she was watching him, she sighed softly and stopped him. He looked at her with a frown on his face and she took the milk from him.

"I'll do it," she said gently, while she didn't feel like being gentle with him at all. He understood the message and nodded.

And then, their roles were suddenly reversed. No, to be honest, their roles were back to what it used to be before he had killed Red John. She was the one doing all the hard work, simply and solely to please him. Much like she did now.

She took in a deep breath and soldiered on.

"Do you still love me?"

She dropped the spoon she was holding and stared in front of her, at a blank spot on the wall.

Then, she turned around. He wasn't looking at her.

"I don't know, Jane."

He closed his eyes, but she could see in his stance that he was trying to get answers to all of the questions his mind was asking.

"Could you ever forgive me for what I've done?"

"I don't think so," she said, making sure her voice didn't sound cold but she knew she had failed.

"Have I lost you completely?"

"No."

His eyes shot open and she saw a bit of hope returning in them. She had to smash it because in her eyes, he wasn't allowed to feel that yet.

"It doesn't mean that there's a hundred percent chance that you'll get me back. I just… don't know yet. I need some time to think. Without you around annoying me."

"You want me to leave?"

"Yes."

He nodded. He got up.

"Not now. Tonight, after dinner."

And she couldn't help but feeling like she had just made him a promise she couldn't keep. Much like he had done before he had left the umpteenth time.

~…~

After dinner changed to 'after sitting on the couch and watching TV silently', which in its turn changed to 'tomorrow morning'. She couldn't help herself, even though she knew that she should send him away and make him feel like crap just like she had felt while he was gone.

It wasn't like she gave him as little as a smile, to be honest, she didn't even respond to anything he was saying which ultimately made him shut up. But she couldn't bring herself to send him away yet. His presence made her feel too good, better than she could ever understand herself.

She got up without saying anything even before the movie they were watching ended. She felt his eyes on her rather than saw them, and she could feel the words that were on his tongue but which he couldn't voice. She didn't stick around for him to finally find the courage as she walked up the stairs, still wordless.

When she was in bed, tucked in underneath her covers, she finally had time to think things through.

She didn't want him to stay. The wound he had left on her heart was too big and would never fade. She was afraid that if she would let him back in, she would forgive everything he had ever done to her without a heartbeat. But worse, she was afraid that he would hurt her again, since he had told her countless of times that he wouldn't hurt her but he just continued doing it, as though he was contradicting every single word he told her.

She pulled the covers up to her chin. Damn. She hated him with her guts, but she couldn't let him go. He tainted her entire life with a venomous substance, ruining everything good that would have ever come her way were he not around her – and still, she allowed him to stay 'until tomorrow'. Which made her wonder: did she really hate him?

Yes, she did. Right? He left her to clean up the mess they had made together. Of course she hated him.

She heard the front door close softly, as though the person shutting it was trying not to wake her. But while she thought she would be able to sleep better now that he was gone, she was twisting and turning in her bed the entire night.

~…~

She didn't see him for days after that night. She realized he had taken her request for a little bit of time a bit too serious.

At first, she liked not having him around anymore. She liked the silence and the absence of the heartbreak that always came over her when he had been around. The painful reminder of what had once happened between them. And she liked not having to talk to anybody at all.

But when the fourth day had passed, she felt even emptier than she had when he had showed up on her doorstep again. The food had no taste and she found herself not sleeping for the third night in a row. She was running on empty here.
But she still hated him. How could she not?

~…~

More than a week had passed, and she was ready to visit her doctor to prescribe her sleeping medication. After all, she hadn't slept in over a week.

He still hadn't contacted her at all, and she felt a stab in her heart again. It felt all too much like the last time, when they had had such a wonderful and passionate night together but he had left her nonetheless. And once again, she was left behind realizing she still wasn't good enough for him, and she never would be. She couldn't compete with a ghost, or with a fantasy of what could have been between them.

She stared at the bottle of vodka on her coffee table. She had wanted to drink alcohol, even just a little drop of it would be enough, but she couldn't. Not even now, when her entire life had been crumbling all around her for the second time.

The doorbell rang. No, not now. Why did people always have such a horrible sense of timing? She had no illusions about who was at that door though, she knew god damn well who was standing there, and she couldn't face him at all.

He was insistent though, and he was ringing that damn doorbell for what felt like hours. Eventually, she got up with a groan and walked to the door, opening it with a long sigh.

"Now what, Jane? Are you here to tell me you're leaving again?"

"No."

"Then what are you even here for? Dammit Jane, don't you understand that I'm tired of always being dragged around, always being messed with and taken for granted? I just want to be understood from time to time, is that too much to ask?"

"No. That's why I'm here."

She frowned. What was he getting at?

"You see, when you told me you wanted me to leave, I knew I had to try and get you back some other way. Some more insistent way. Because I know that I hurt you. And I know that you will never be like you used to be around me, there's too much I did wrong for that to ever happen. I screwed up. And I shouldn't have. I screwed up things for over a decade now. I think it's time I learned my lesson and made sure I didn't screw up for once."

He reached into his jacket pocket without looking away from her eyes once, and she found her feet twitching to run away from him, because this didn't predict anything good and she really still hated him.

He lowered himself onto one knee and all of her previous thoughts first intensified but then left her body as she was suddenly hit with the realization she had waited to have for days now.

She was still in love with him. She just told herself she wasn't, because she knew, rationally speaking, it wasn't fair to love him, since he had hurt her countless of times and hadn't even said sorry. But that was part of who he was, and she could want to try and change that about him but she knew she couldn't – she had tried for ten years now.

It was part of what made her love him so deeply, she was blinded by it and saw it as hatred, because it was the only logical thing her brain could come up with. It had forgotten all about what her heart had been telling her and was seeking for the things he had done wrong, because it was trying to protect her from what she had willingly sought for all her life – pain, abandonment and rejection.

He gently grabbed her hand and it made her pull out of her thoughts. She focused on his face in front of her, on the tears in his eyes. On the hope that dared to swell in her chest again, a feeling that had been long gone for months now. And she saw from the corner of her eye that the hand he was holding was shaking.

"I didn't think this would go as it does now under the circumstances. I wish I could give you much, much more than this, I wish I could have taken you to Europe first, see all the beautiful places those countries have in store. But I know now that this is what it was supposed to be all this time. I screwed up. Big time. I made horrible mistakes for which I will have to pay the rest of my life. But I will do that. I will burn in hell if that is what it takes for you to allow me back inside your beautiful life. I will do anything."

"Jane, please don't start something you can't finish."

"I can, though. I know it seems like I can't, because it seems like I'm still not over my family, but I am. I've been for a while now. All that matters is you."

She shook her head, softly. She loved him, but she couldn't allow him to do this. This would tear them apart eventually.

"Will you marry me, Teresa?"

She closed her eyes and was silent for a very long time, even her own brain waiting in anticipation for her next move. Then, she opened her eyes and found he was looking at her with the same look he had had before she had closed her eyes.

She made him stand up, but she didn't take her hand back. She came to stand so close to him that she could feel his erratic and anxious breath on her face. It made her shudder.

Did she want to spend the rest of her life with this man? She knew she did. But was this the right decision for both of them? Probably not.

"I won't leave you, ever again. I promise. I can't even leave you now. I haven't slept or eaten for days," he whispered, and she let out a soft breath.

"Me neither," she whispered into his face. And before she could stop herself, she was tip-toeing and she was leaving a small reminder of their night together on his lips, and his arms closed around her while a small box was pressing into her back now. Eventually, it was her who pulled away and she looked at him, looking for any signs he might not be serious about this, but she found none. She could only see true happiness in his eyes when they opened and looked at her.

"Do you still love me?" he asked, the same question he had asked her days before, and she took hold of a small piece of the fabric of his jacket when she answered.

"Yes. I never stopped." And instead of kissing her again, he held her close against his body while he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

And finally, she found herself smiling, something she hadn't imagined she would do ever again. But she was smiling, because her heart had finally found what it was looking for all this time – what had been right in front of her all this time.

~…~

A few days later, she was holding his shaking hand as they looked at the driveway to the perfect house – white picket fence, nice car on the driveway, pretty curtains at the windows and beautiful flowers on a bed in front of the building. And a swing.

"Are you ready?" she asked him. She got no voiced reply but he squeezed her hand softly. She pulled him with her when she approached the house and rang the doorbell.

She knew he wasn't supposed to be ready for a moment like this, and she knew from personal experience that it was best to be pushed a little bit rather than take it slow and try it another day.

The door opened. The nice woman Lisbon had seen a few times before instantly smiled at the sight of her, then her eye went for Jane and a frown formed on her eyebrows.

"Uh. Hey, Teresa," she said, looking at the two of them until she noticed their intertwined hands and she realized what was going on here.

She still stammered though when she spoke.

"Uhm. Hi. I'm Marcia." She paused, as though to decide whether the rest of her introduction would be appropriate enough. "You… You must be Dean's father."

And Lisbon felt his eyes on her as she nodded, slowly.

Marcia nodded too, understandably, and stepped aside to let them in. When she had closed the door behind her, she turned back to Jane.

She reached out her hand and he hesitated with releasing Lisbon's, before he dropped hers and shook Marcia's.

"I'm Patrick," he stated, almost shyly.

"Nice to meet you, Patrick. I assume you're here to meet Dean."

He nodded.

"Follow me. He's currently asleep but he's better that way." She added a little smile, as though to say, 'children, huh?'.

And as their little boy came into sight, she felt Jane's hand around her hand again, almost painfully squeezing but she let him, and she also let him pull her along towards the sleeping baby.

As though the little boy sensed their presence, or at least Lisbon's, he slowly awoke and stared at them as they sat down in front of his crib.

"Hey there, Little One," she whispered. The boy's eyes locked on hers and she felt the same feeling she always did when these things happened – shame and sorrow. Because this little boy would always be her child, no matter how much he would love living with his new parents. She had carried him in her womb for nine months and that had made her love this little wonder, even if she hadn't wanted to.

Jane's hand reached out to grab the boy's tiny hand. Jane sniffed quietly but she still heard it.

"Can I hold him?" he asked Marcia. The woman nodded.

He got up and reached into the crib, picking up Dean and cradling him in his arms, tight against his chest. Dean looked up into his eyes, curiosity peeked.

"Hey, buddy," Jane whispered. Dean blinked a few times, then lifted his hand and touched Jane's cheek. And the man closed eyes as he pulled the baby even closer to him.

Lisbon reached out to touch Jane's arm.

"I failed you," Jane whispered in the crook of the boy's neck. She wasn't sure whether he was addressing her or the baby but she knew it applied to both of them. "And I'm so sorry."

They were silent for a while, in which Lisbon slowly scooted towards him and he only cuddled the boy closer to his chest. The boy had fallen asleep in his father's arms minutes ago. And as Lisbon saw tears burning in Jane's eyes, she felt the need to apologize for the first time since he had re-entered her life after one-and-a-half year.

"Jane, I... I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. He looked up at her.

"You were doing what you thought would be best for our baby," he whispered. "But… I wasn't there. And now… can I try and do that too? Work to get what's best for all of us?"

"What do you mean, Jane?"

"I mean… try and get Dean back."

"Jane… we can't just take him back… he lives here now. Tom and Marcia are his parents now."

He looked her in the eyes and she knew nothing she would say would make him stop this. His tears had vanished and instead, his eyes were filled with a determination she hadn't witnessed in them ever since Red John had been killed by him.

"Please don't do anything stupid that can get you in jail," she whispered. A spark of amusement passed through his eyes. She wouldn't be able to control him this time.

~…~

She wasn't even surprised when two days later, he walked into her apartment with only one single piece of paper in his hands and a small smile on his face.

"You did it?" she asked him. She knew the answer already but she had to hear him say it.

"Yes. I looked up the rights we had and found that, since I was never married to you or named on Dean's birth certificates, I could apply to the court to get parental responsibility." He handed her the piece of paper. He bent down and picked up a travel carrier she hadn't seen before. "He's officially my responsibility now."

"But… but what about Tom and Marcia?"

"Turned out that Marcia had all the information and forms ready for when I would come back and try to claim Dean. They think it was a wonderful experience and a great preparation for what's ahead of them now."

It took her a while to realize what he was saying. "She's pregnant?"

He nodded. He smiled again and lifted Dean a little higher.

"Who did you kill though to get to court so fast?"

"No one, I swear. Everything I did was completely legal."

And she wanted to keep away from him, wanted to keep torturing him – after all, she still hadn't accepted his proposal from days ago, had wanted to keep him hanging not knowing for sure whether she would accept.

But she couldn't stop herself anymore. She felt her entire body yearning for him, she wanted to hold him and never let go anymore.
And therefore, she stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around him tightly, while he almost awkwardly tried to hug her back with only one arm.

"Thank you," she whispered. She had forgotten all the reasons she had wanted to give up Dean for adoption, because they were all gone. Jane was next to her now, and wanted to raise their child as much as she did now. And she wasn't alone this time.

~…~

She held Dean in her arms as he was peacefully sleeping, his belly against hers and his head cushioned in between her breasts.

Jane chuckled when he came into the room with two cups of coffee, and he sat down beside her, kissing her lips softly when she turned her head towards him.

They didn't say anything, just reveled in the peaceful silence between them.

"You never did show me the ring," she suddenly said. He didn't respond for a little while. Then, he simply reached into his jacket pocket and handed the ring which had apparently been with him all along to her.

"Well… you didn't answer my proposal either."

She glared at him for a few seconds, then simply looked down at her body. Currently, her belly was the perfect cushion for a sleeping almost two year old. Hopefully, the boy could in his turn be the perfect cushion for his little brother or sister.

"I couldn't exactly leave anymore, could I?"

"True."

She looked at the ring. She huffed. It was exactly the kind of ring she would expect him to buy his true love.

He had bought it for her. She was his true love. She closed her eyes and leaned back her head a bit. He supported her neck and made her looked at him again.

"I couldn't answer yet, because I didn't know whether you would stick around. But… you've been with me since we got Dean back. You haven't left me alone once."

"Does this mean you'll say yes now?" Oh he had tried, so many times, but eventually he just dropped it and gave up hope.

"I didn't say that," she whispered.

"But does it?"

She opened her eyes and looked straight into his. She hadn't known it would get to this, quite frankly, she hadn't even thought that she would ever see him again but here she was, here they were, the perfect little family she had always hoped of. "Yes."

And he kissed away all of her remaining worries, and made their unborn child, who would be with them in a month or two, kick against its big brother. Both children would have both their parents to push the swing for them.

A/N: I never said it was good. But at least it's something. Okay, please let me know what you thought!