Stand Still, Stay Silent

by Diretooth

"People don't climb Mt. Ebott for good reasons." This fic is a retelling of Undertale, but from a first-person perspective. My hope is to capture the growth of Frisk from a scared, but determined kid to someone who can overcome all obstacles. Natch, it'll get a little heavy, since the apparent nature of Mt. Ebott. No crying until the end, alright?

2. The Ruins: TuToriel

Red greeted me when I awoke, but only from the light shining on my closed eyes. When I opened my eyes, it was blinding, at first, I had to turn my head away from it.
Gold greeted me, a scent like lemons filled my nostrils as I disturbed the flowers I laid on.
I sat up, disoriented. Where was I? How did I get here?
I blinked a few times, then what had happened crashed into me.
My heart thundered as I looked around, looked for him, but he wasn't nearby.
I'd fallen, fallen so far below the ground, and I remembered his expression.
He'd looked...
A sound interrupted my thoughts, I couldn't tell what it was, but it came from a hole in the cavern wall.
"Hello?" I asked.
I waited for several moments, my voice had echoed in the silent room.
I looked up at the light.
"Hello?" I called out. "Hello? Is anyone up there? I've fallen down here, can anyone hear me?"
My voice echoed throughout the room, asking the same thing over and over again.
But nobody came.
I took a deep breath, the scent of lemon filled my nostrils.
It filled me with determination.
I walked to the hole, and found, of all things, a door. I walked through, to be greeted with the sight of a flower.
"Howdy!"
I froze. Though the word was a neutral white, the fact that it seemed to come from the flower itself startled me.
"I'm Flowey."
The flower was talking, I could see an actual face. Its name was the same kind of yellow as its petals.
"Flowey the Flower!" It added, smiling cheerfully.
I gave it a small wave.
"Hmmm..." It sounded. "You're new the the Underground, aren'tcha? Golly, you must be so confused."
I gave a slight nod. I wasn't so sure of this flower and its neutral words.
"Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!"
I felt strange, my heart seemed to... I wasn't sure how to describe it, other than it felt more 'there' than it was before.
"See that heart?" Flowey asked, looking directly at my chest. I looked down, where my heart was, a red glow shone. I held my hand over it. It felt... warm.
"That is your Soul, the very culmination of your being!"
I looked back at them, this tiny thing was everything I was?
"Your Soul starts off weak," They explained. "But can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."
I furrowed my brow and opened my mouth to ask what that meant, but they continued.
"What's LV stand for? Why, Love, of course!" They declared.
Love? I guess that would make sense.
"You want some Love, don't you?" They asked. "Don't worry, I'll share some with you!"
I tilted my head slightly. Something about this seemed... odd.
They stuck their tongue out and winked at me. "Down here, Love is shared through..." White spinning things appeared over it, I blinked.
He paused, as if they needed to think for a moment. "Little white... 'friendliness pellets'."
I could see its face scrunch up slightly, it was the same face He made when he looked at me.
"Are you ready?" It asked. "Move around! Get as many as you can!"
I stepped to the side, as a general rule, I didn't like things that came right at me. Even if they were 'friendliness pellets'.
Its eyes narrowed slightly. "Hey, buddy, you missed them." Its tone was decidedly less friendly. "Let's try again, okay?"
Its eyes narrowed further. "Is this a joke?" It asked. "Are you braindead?" I winced, taken aback by the sudden hostility. "RUN. INTO. THE. BULLETS!"
It glanced to the side, as though it could see the words it spoke as well.
Something strange happened, the last word had turned into 'friendliness pellets'. My heart thundered, how had it done that?
As the 'pellets' came at me, I moved out of their way.
It stared at me for several seconds, then its face contorted into a nightmarish one, with black eyes and vicious fangs.
"You know what's going on here, don't you?" It asked, its words black with malice. "You just wanted to see me suffer."
I took several steps back, but I hit some sort of invisible wall.
I was shoved forward as the walls pushed me, a ring of the bullets surrounded me. "Die!" It cried out.
They came toward me. Slowly, slowly, they came toward me.
I cried out for help, but they came closer, closer, even as it grinned at me
I called out for help, but...
The bullets never came, I looked up, as startled as Flowey.
A ball of flame struck it, and it seemed to vanish into the ground, or perhaps it had been burnt up that quickly.
From the shadows came what I could only describe as a monster.
I scrambled back as it approached.
"What a terrible creature, torturing a poor, innocent youth..." Its voice was female, and though it was as neutral a white as any other, there was an almost soft quality to them. She looked at me, "Ah, do not be afraid, my child." She said.
She came closer and knelt down, holding her hand out to me. "I am Toriel," She stated, her name was a lovely shade of violet, one of my favorite colors. "Caretaker of the Ruins." The word 'Ruins' were a dark shade of red, which hinted at danger, but not any outright malice or hatred.
"I pass through this place to see if anyone has fallen down." She smiled. "You are the first human to come here in a long time."
She helped me up. "Come! I will guide you through the catacombs."
The wall vanished, and my heart seemed to settle.
"This way." She said before turning around to walk the other way.
I followed close behind her, I absently realized I still had the stick I'd grabbed from the surface with me.
I held it in both hands, wringing it as I wondered at what had just happened.
A flower, of all things, had just tried to kill me
The room we stepped into was bright, it took me several moments to get used to it.
I looked around, the brick walls, and even the floor itself, was either a dark pink, or a light purple. Two staircases led up to a door, which was framed by green ivy.
Before me, a bed of red leaves were piled between the ends of the stairs, the shadow of the ruins loomed above me, and I was filled with determination.
Toriel stood at the top of the right staircase, watching me patiently, I followed behind her.
We stepped into the Ruins, where I was greeted with more pink walls and flooring. to my right were six strange gray... things.
"Welcome to your new home, innocent one." Toriel stated.
I snapped my attention to her.
New home? What?
"Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins." She stated, not giving me any time to speak.
She walked straight to the right, stepping on two of the gray things, which were not obvious to me to be switches of some sort, just above a single lower one, walked past another one, and walked over two more.
She then flipped a wall switch just beyond them, then walked over to the door, stood in front of it, and faced me.
"The Ruins are full of puzzles." She explained. "Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them."
With that said, she moved to te next room.
I stood there for several moments, unsure of how to react to this.
I felt my heart thunder, I took a few deep breaths. Now wasn't the time to give into anxiety, nor was it time to freak out.
I didn't want to worry my savior.
I walked over to the door, and noted a sign to the left of it.
I read it.
'Only the fearless may proceed. Brave one, foolish ones. Both not walk the middle road.'
I blinked for a few moments, then realized what that meant.
I looked at the switches, a slightly lighter path split them in half, only two laid in that path, Toriel had gone around the middle path, in a sense.
I walked through the door.
Immediately, I was greeted to the sight of a canal running past to the right. The scent of cool, clear water lifted my spirits.
It brought a memory to mind.
We were fishing, my Grandpa and me. The creek that ran through the back yard was swollen with water from the spring rains. Fish, swift and agile as ever, darted against the swift current. Their determination to go against the river's flow filld me with determination.
"She's getting better." Grandpa said, breaking the silence that we maintained when we fished. His words were dark blue, even though he was smiling.
I nodded. Even though he spoke, I knew not to. Stand still, stay silent, or you'll scare away the fish.
Those were the words that he'd taught me when we first went fishing, they were the words that helped me when I couldn't catch any, and they'd help me later when I needed to...
The resurgence of bad memories caused me to snap back to the present.
Toriel was waiting patiently for me to approach. I walked toward her, and she smiled.
"To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches." She explained. "Do not worry, I have labelled the ones that you need to flip."
My heart sank. How was I going to be able to deal with any puzzles if I never got to reason them out?
She walked off as I opened my mouth to speak, I felt my anxiety return, and I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself. No. I wasn't going to break down, not here.
Stand still, stay silent.
There. I felt my heart calm.
There was a sign in front of me, wooden, it looked like it had been there for a long time. Further back was a stone sign.
I read the wooden sign.
'Press [Z] to read signs!'
I blinked several times.
"What..?" I asked softly. I shook my head and looked at the stone sign.
It was too far away to read, so I walked over to it.
'Stay on the path.' It read.
I put my hand to my face and took a deep breath.
This was incredibly silly.
I went back to the path and crossed the bridge. For as old as it looked, it felt incredibly sturdy. Ahead was a switch, with yellow words and arrows pointing directly at it.
'Please press this switch.' The words read.
I couldn't 'press' the switch, so much as pull it. Toriel stood at the bridge that crossed another canal.
I pushed hard on the switch, it moved nowhere. She raised her hand to her mouth and made to help me.
I looked her dead in the eyes and pulled it down.
She realized I was being cheeky and hid a giggle before walking further along the hall.
She came to rest in front of a set of spikes that blocked the way. Two switches, one with yellow markings on the left-hand side, and one without toward the right.
I noted that the path led to the correct one, and the other was off the path. Clever!
'Please press this switch too.' The correct switch's text read.
I pressed on it, staring at Toriel, trying hard not to smile.
She giggled, knowing full well that I'd caught her on a mistake she made.
I pulled the switch, and the spikes behind her slid into the ground.
"Splendid!" She declared happily. "I am proud of you, little one."
I blinked. She was proud of me? For following her instructions, even though the puzzle wasn't that difficult to begin with?
"Let us move to the next room." She stated, walking toward the exit.
For a moment, I had a mental image of flipping the switch again, the spikes going up and impaling her.
I jerked my hand away from the switch, my heart thundered.
I sat down, taking deep breaths, wrapping my arms around my knees.
No. No. These were bad thoughts.
Though it wasn't often, I had occasional morbid fantasies, where people I loved, or complete strangers, died in horrible ways.
This was the first time, in such a fantasy, that I'd been the cause of the death.
Before, they merely brought tears. But this...
This was something completely different, and I hated it.
After I'd calmed down, I got up and followed Toriel into the next room.
She looked at me, there was concern on her face, as though she were wondering what took me so long.
"As a Human loving in the Underground," She stated. "Monsters may attack you."
I blinked.
What?!
"You will need to be prepared for this situation." She explained matter-of-factly. "However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a Monster, you will enter a Fight."
This didn't bode well.
"While you are in a Fight," She stated. "Strike up a friendly conversation."
I blinked.
What?
"Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy."
She walked over to the entryway ahead and stood in front of it, watching me expectantly.
I walked over to the dummy and stood in front of it.
It did absolutely nothing, it just sat there.
I didn't know what to say, but I was certain that Toriel was out of earshot.
I felt my heart grow warm as I touched my cheek.
A bandage met my fingers, it was the same I'd put on yesterday.
Touching it dredged up a bad memory...

The apartment was filthy, and always smelled terrible.
The bitter scent of beer mixed with the smell of mildew and sweat always made a potent combination that always set me on edge. It was the smell of despair.
I heard my name, it was loud.
He came in, stumbling slightly, holding a plate in his hand.
"You didn't wash it correctly!" He screamed, throwing it at me.
I ducked, it crashed overhead. I winced as a shard of the porcelain flew past, cutting my cheek.
"Wash them again, and do it right this time!"
He staggered off, and I sat on the ground, shaking.
I stayed there for several minutes.
Still, silent, before I gathered up the nerve to stand.
I peeked into the other room, he was asleep.
I imagined the ceiling crashing in on him, killing him and getting rid of him.
I felt guilty for thinking that, and snuck past him to go to the bathroom.
I opened the medicine cabinet and took out a bandage, washed my face after letting the water run for a bit, it always started out dirty and grimy, and washed my face carefully.
The bandage was small, it didn't cover everything.
I wondered what others would say, what excuse I would have to make up.
Nobody would believe me, especially when he could lie better than I could tell the truth.
Stand still, stay silent.
That's how I would survive.
I heard him wake up and come toward the bathroom.
I went to the bathtub and hid behind the curtain.
Half of the tub was filled with dirty water, from when he'd last had a bath, which was a week ago. The drain, clogged, did nothing to rid of it.
I heard him sit on the toilet, smelled the urine and poo as he did his business, then heard his snores as he fell asleep again.
I didn't dare move.
I didn't dare move.

This I told the dummy, whispered softly so Toriel couldn't hear.
After so long, holding in these secrets, it felt... nice. It felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders, and I smiled.
"Ah! Very good! You are very good!" Toriel exclaimed before heading straight out.
I sighed and followed after her.
"There is another puzzle in this room..." She trailed off for a moment. "I wonder if you can solve it?"
My heart leapt. Finally, she was allowing me to try to solve a puzzle myself!
I followed Toriel as she walked down the hall. A large frog leapt in between us, startling me.
I cried out, startled.
It ribbited, staring directly at me.
Floundering for words, I meekly stated, "You look very nice."
I saw it blush very faintly, it looked flattered.
Toriel came closer, and it froze, looking directly at her.
It slowly moved away, avoiding eye contact as Toriel glared at it.
Her eyes narrowed as it left our field of vision, then she continued onward.
There was another stone sign not far from where I stood. I went to it and read it.
'The western room is the eastern room's blueprint.'
I pondered the meaning, and realized it was likely another path puzzle. I backtracked a little, stared at the path for a moment, then headed back to Toriel's side.
I paused a moment.
To Toriel.
Tutorial.
I grimaced at the pun my brain came up with. What was worse was, this was entirely how she was acting.
Like one giant tutorial.
I reached Toriel's side, beyond her was a literal field of spikes surrounded by deep water.
My heart thundered, there were no switches nearby.
Unless...
"This is the puzzle, but..." She trailed off. "Here, take my hand for a moment."
I realized she was going to take me through yet another puzzle.
"I can do it." I said softly.
"I'm sorry..?" She started.
"I said I can do it!" I shouted. "I don't need to be led around like a little baby through every puzzle we come across! I'm not stupid!"
She looked shocked, and worse, she looked like I'd slapped her across the face.
I instantly regretted my words.
"A-at least let me see if I can do it before you lead me along?" I asked.
She stared at me for several moments, unsure of how to react.
I hesitantly walked over to the spikes and looked around.
There weren't any switches anywhere nearby, and the water looked deep enough that I couldn't just wade across.
I looked at Toriel. "I-if I touch one, will it shock me or hurt me?" I asked.
She shook her head.
I touched one, it did nothing. I pushed against it, very slowly, I noted it moved under pressure.
I experimentally put my foot down on it. It sank a little, but it wasn't enough, and the upward pressure would only make my feet sore.
"I know how to solve it." I said meekly. "But I'm not heavy enough to cross through."
I held my left hand out and she took it, smiling.
"We'll cross it together." She said.
Leading me, she stepped forward, instantly shoving the spikes down.
I followed closely, directing her as we solved the puzzle together.
On the other side, she turned to face me.
"Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now." She stated.
My heart sank as she walked away.
That was it?
Earlier, she'd said she was proud of me, and that was for following blatant instructions.
But for reasoning out a puzzle, even if I needed her help..?
I'd felt like I'd been slapped across the face.
Worse yet, there was no sense of accomplishment, nothing to signify that I'd achieved anything.
I felt cheated.
Worse yet, I was angry.
I wanted to yell, to scream at her, but I stood still, and a stayed silent.
And I felt my heart ache.
I took a deep breath and followed Toriel through the entryway.
"You have done excellently thus far, my child." She said. "However... I have a difficult request to ask of you."
I had to hold in a scoff. Knowing her, 'difficult' meant walking across the long hallway ahead of us without holding her hand.
She paused for a moment, then stated, "I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself." I blinked. "Forgive me for this."
Then she tore down the hallway, I stood there, utterly startled.
What?!
I didn't see where she went, suddenly being... abandoned like that...
I ran down the hallway after her. How could she?! I may not have liked being led around my the hand, but I didn't like being left alone. Not since the last time.
I thought came to mind, one that terrified me.
What if Flowey came back and attacked me, and she was nowhere to stop him?
I tripped, my heart stopped for a moment as I flew through the air.
I hit the ground, skinning not only my knee, but my injured cheek as well.
I winced at the pain and reapplied the bandage.
I rushed to the end of the hallway, past a large pillar, and toward the exit.
Toriel appeared from behind the pillar, startling me.
"Greetings, my child." She said, my heart raced, I felt betrayed that she'd do that, and not even comment on the fact that she'd left me like that. "Do not worry, I did not leave you."
I blinked.
'Really? Because it certainly looked that way!' I mentally snapped.
"I was merely behind this pillar the whole time."
I wanted nothing more than to shout at her, to make her regret leaving me like that...
But I didn't. It would only serve to upset her, even though I was pretty upset myself.
"Thank you for trusting me."
I winced.
I didn't.
I didn't even try to trust her. The moment she'd gone out of my sight...
I felt on the verge of tears.
"However, there was an important reason for this exercise." She stated. "To test your independence."
'And I did not show you my independence earlier..?' I thought with a mixture of bitterness and sorrow.
"I must tend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while." She explained. "Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore by yourself."
She looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "I have an idea. I will give you a Cell Phone. If you have a need for anything, just call." She handed me the cell phone. It was an ancient model, something you'd only see in museums dedicated to the growth of the telephone.
The fact that it was here at all, looking exactly like one I'd seen on a school trip, made me wonder exactly where and when she'd gotten it.
"Be good, alright?" She asked before promptly leaving.
I walked over to the pillar and sat behind it.
I felt the weight of the cell phone in my hand, and I thought hard about what had led up to this moment.
I thought back to this morning. He had decided we would go on a picnic, a fun outing, just the two of us.
I'd been on picnics with him before, and they were usually good times.
I'd packed plates and silverware, doing my best to be helpful while he made sandwiches and other picnic snacks.
For the first time in a long time, I'd felt happy.
My mom used to love picnics, used to love sitting on the blanket, reading stories and flying kites.
It was the first time I'd been on one since...
Since...
I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth.
The phone rang, startling me. I answered it.
"This is Toriel. My errands are taking longer than I thought they would. You must wait 5 more minutes. Thank you for being patient." She said before hanging up.
I considered calling her, but...
I shook my head.
I resumed rocking back and forth, the motion calmed me, made me feel more secure.
After all, it was the only motion I could make in the bathtub that wouldn't have woken Him.
That's right... That's what caused him to be so angry. We'd arrived at Mt. Ebott, it was secluded, he'd brought me there in spite of the legends.
I wondered briefly if he brought me there so we could disappear, or if he wanted me to disappear.
The thought made me shudder.
He'd pulled out the plates, after we'd joked around for so long.
So long... I had forgotten what it was like to walk on eggshells.
I'd spent hours cleaning them, trying to get rid of the stains.
He'd screamed, and I'd ran.
I'd ran so hard, I had actually managed to slip out of his sight.
I lowered my head to my knees and cried.
The phone ringing snapped me out of it, and I answered.
"This is Toriel. I found what I was looking for. But before I could take it... A small, white puppy snatched it away. How odd. Do dogs even like flour? Err, that is an unrelated question, of course. It will take a little longer. Please understand."
She hung up, by the brief statements, she sounded like she was in a hurry.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
I was glad she'd take a little longer, I didn't want her to see me crying.
I kind of wished for the dummy again, it was nice, being able to tell something about my own troubles.
No judgement, no expressions of pity, and no anger at 'being lied to'.
I only wished someone real could listen to what I said without any of that.
The phone rang again, and I answered it.
There was silence, then heavy panting, as if someone was running.
I heard four loud barks, and in the distance, "Stop, please! Come back here with my Cell Phone!"
The call ended, and I stared at the phone with confusion.
Was that... some sort of joke?
I didn't know what to think.
I considered leaving, but... I was still shaken by the day's events. I needed more time to... solidify. To fortify myself.
I hummed softly to myself, and after a few moments, I realized it was the lullaby Mom hummed to me.
"Da, da, da, da, da-da, da..." I half-hummed absently, then I stopped.
No, it was too sad.
Mom only came up with that lullaby because she heard music in the same way I saw words.
I remembered an earlier memory, Mom and Dad had been talking, but I didn't know how to read. It had been interesting, watching the colors as they spoke, and since then, since I'd learned to read, I could see the color of intent in written words, as though whomever wrote had left behind some of their heart so I could see the color of words.
Books were a masterpiece, an artwork that was unappreciated even by those who read them.
And though I loved to read, I spent more time looking at the vibrant pages.
I wished I'd had a book with me.
The phone rang again, and I answered it.
There was light snoring, like a small white dog sleeping on the phone.
I heard Toriel's voice in the distance.
"Helloooo? Little puppy...? Where are you...? I will give you a nice pat on the head!"
The snoring stopped.
"...If you return my Cell phone."
The snoring resumed, and the call ended.
I wondered how the dog was calling me, then decided it ultimately didn't matter.
If I ever saw that dog, I'd thank it for giving me time to think.
Even if at the cost of Toriel's sanity.
I felt a little bad for her, but it served her right for abandoning me like that earlier. Test of indepenence, my foot!
Still, I felt she wanted the best for me, this entire time, she'd watched over me, she'd saved my life against a homicidal flower.
That... sounded a little insane, now that I thought about it.
Wow, I was a nervous wreck.
I wondered how worse off I would be if I hadn't run off, if I'd taken His punishment.
I also wondered at his expression as I'd fallen.
Gone was the rage, it had been replaced with horror, horror at what he'd done to me.
I wondered if he'd forgive himself, or forget me.
It wouldn't be the first time.
After all, he'd known some of the children who had gotten lost on Mt. Ebott...
I froze.
He knew some of the kids who had gotten lost.
They'd disappeared, just like I did.
I fell into the hole.
Oh, God...
Oh, God...
What if he..? What if he'd planned it all from the beginning?
I rocked back and forth, holding my head.
No...
He may have had a bad temper.
But he wouldn't...
He would never...
Would he?
The phone rang again, and I cried out in shock.
Gasping hard, it rang again, and I answered it.
I heard snoring, then a sneeze.
"Here, pup-pup-puppy!" Toriel's voice called out in the distance. "Oh dear, I should not keep my guest waiting any longer. Oh no, how long has it been since I have talked to them...? Perhaps they have been calling the phone, and...? Here, puppy!"
I couldn't help but laugh.
I laughed until my sides hurt.
Distracted by what would have become a meltdown, I felt sorry for Toriel. Next time it rang, I would try to get her attention toward her phone.
I took some time to sit and relax and not think.
I got up eventually and walked toward the exit.
The phone rang, and I answered.
I heard more snoring, then a yawn.
In the distance, I heard Toriel call out tiredly.
"Doggie... Here, Doggie... Oh, dear... I do wonder how they are..."
I took a deep breath, then shouted, "Toriel!"
I heard a surprised yip, followed by the clacking of claws against stone.
"Oh!" Toriel's voice declared as the call ended.
I laughed again.
Myself, one point. Small, annoying dog, zero.

_
Author's Note:Frisk is sarcastic.
Who wouldn't be in that situation? Monsters, magic, and killer flowers.
I wanted to portray their ability to project outward independence, as kids are wont to do around Frisk's age, but also to show that they're not as confident as they act, and that in their lonely moments... Well, you can see for yourself.
You may have noted the rather unsympathetic light I show Toriel in. Goat Mom may be one of my favorite characters, but to Frisk, she's just another overbearing adult who knows best for them.
As much as they need the company, Frisk is still a kid, and will have views appropriate to that.