Stephenie Meyer owns everything, I'm justing borrowing her characters for the time being.


Chapter 1

Beep.

Beep.

The incessant beeping was almost enough for me to scold myself for how stupid and moronic I had acted. For the past twenty minutes, I had been faking slumber, just to avoid my parents, and Dr. Gerandy... my father's colleague. And my mentor. If the situation could not have escalated to any worse, my father was also my primary physician as well. The shame welled up in my throat when I thought of him paling and anguished to see my mangled body from my truck.

To have to struggle between professionalism and being my father and overreacting. Further proving how monstrous I was. Had I not been unconscious for the past several days from the looks of the calender hanging in my room, I would have been devastated to see him pacing anxiously around my hospital room. Worrying along with my mother, and my siblings.

Alice will have never have forgiven me. She was my best friend, and there was no hope in keeping my latest escapade a secret. She would clearly see through my lies in a heartbeat. She'd be furious that I hadn't come to her, and resorted to desperate measures. If I could, I would have her scream obscenities at me until the sky turned dark and the sun had set. Rather have her tell me I was a callous bastard, that I should rot in hell. Where I belong with the deviants and scum, because that was merely the truth.

Honesty and truth I could handle. Alice's grief-stricken face as she confides in me how disappointed she was that I closed myself from everyone and didn't seek help was not.

Attempted suicide.

At first, it sounded like the best option. In fact, it was the only option that I came up with. Because what else was available in this life that I could deserve?

Through it all, I knew that it was my own damn fault that I was left this way. My actions led me to this road with no return, and I could not blame it on anyone else. Everything had a consequence... and now I was facing mine.

To be honest, I didn't really regret my decision. After all, I did believe that this was the only way out. Albeit, a cowardly way out. In the words of Emmett, I would be "making a dick choice, while copping out".

But, after all is said and done, did it matter if I was being a coward? If I was giving up all I have worked my entire life for? No questions about it, the simplicity of it was obvious, no.

I do think I should have planned the situation better. My tendency to make a scene, to go to such extremes was what landed me here in Forks Hospital. As most people would say, good idea, bad execution.

Why hadn't I just taken pills? That would've been so effortless. There would be no pain, no prolonged suffering - just me, the pills, and the bottle. Eternal black would arrive quickly and I'd be numb from the alcohol before I knew it.

Though now here I lay, covered in injuries. I hadn't heard the verdict yet - Dr. Gerandy left me in silence and kept my family away for a better chance at recovery - but it didn't take a med student to know that cutting off your brakes and not wearing the seat belt of in the car with said malfunctioned brakes to know that it'd be months before I could get back on my feet again.

Maybe it was God's way of telling me that I wasn't ready for this. To end up in Hell, or whatever existed for me at the end of this life. Or maybe I was a lucky son of a gun to have actually survived.

Lying here was so mediocre, but I suppose it was punishment. Of course only I could find another way to hurt my mother even more. It's what I do best.

There was a total of 482 green stripes on the putrid yellow wallpaper. On every third stripe was a pattern of blue and purple wildflowers. Boredom tends to make you pay attention to unimportant details just so you wouldn't succumb to insanity.

Before I had resorted to such ridiculous distractions, I had started to count the many wounds splattered all over my body. There was too many; the sight of how much bandages used was more than enough to make me cringe and the bile to arise in my throat.

Footsteps neared my door, and I had a second more of peace before the onslaught of tears had arrived, courtesy of my mother.

"Oh Edward! Thank goodness, you're awake. We've been here for days - your father had to call in a few favors so he could trade his shifts with another physician - and Emmett flew in from Portland to see you! He's in the waiting room with Rosalie right now, and he's been wearing a hole in the carpet from his mindless walking. Alice went to the cafeteria to get something to eat and she'll be back soon if you want to talk to her," Esme babbled.

I blinked three times.

Esme never babbled unless she was deeply concerned or terrified out of her mind. Altogether, there was only a total of two times in my entire life that she had rambled on without a , when Emmett had encountered a bear on one of his Sunday hikes, and the other occasion when Carlisle had been gone for two weeks on a business call in Italy.

Someone should deliver a swift kick to my ass.

"Mom, please, I'm alright. Granted, I'm a little hindered right now." I tried to offer her a weak smile, but from the look on her face, it might have come off as more of a grimace. She immediately wrapped her arms around me, careful not to disrupt the bandaging or apply too much pressure where the bruising were most tender.

"Edward Anthony, be serious! You almost died," she wept. Her tears were freely flowing down her face, and by now, the guilt was eating me alive. She looked at me with a kind of sadness in her eyes. Like the longing a mother has for her lost child. A bittersweet desire, poison for your heart. She wanted me to be well, to be safe, but there was nothing she could do. It was a mother's instinct to want to protect her flesh and blood from harm. And Esme couldn't. She thought she let me down. How wrong she truly was.

"I know, mother. I-I guess I haven't given much thought. Where's dad? You said he was changing shifts?" I asked quickly, wanting to change the conversation that was heading down a dangerous path.

She sighed, and pulled a chair next to my bed. The screech of its legs scraping against the tiled floor made me flinch. Esme gave me an apologetic look and then settled down. "Talking with Dr. Gerandy. He should be in here any moment now. You gave him a heart attack! When he had heard that you had gotten into an accident, he nearly passed out on a patient he was inspecting. He almost had to be restricted from treating you because of his near hysteria."

I made a face. Dad must have been as plagued as mom... and Alice... and Emmett... and soon the rest of the people in the town of Forks. News like "Cullen's Golden Child" almost facing death was impossible to keep secret. Things like this seem to find a way to becoming leaked, whether you liked it or not. That was the toll for life in a small town.

No more than five seconds after she had said that, said father had walked in. Deep bruise-like circles were set beneath his tired blue eyes. Carlisle never did look like his age - forty two - until now.

"Edward," he breathed. "My boy. You're awake." He gave me a pat on my shoulder, and held a firm grasp on my free hand.

"How bad am I?"

No point in delaying the bad news any further.

Carlisle took a quick peek through my charts and frowned. "You are terribly lucky, Edward. Not many could go through such damage and walk out of it alive. Not that you'll be doing much walking for a while," he tensed, eying my broken right leg, "you have minor head injury, as of now, but I'd like to keep you here for a few nights for observation. We're not quite sure if there's been any permanent corruption."

Esme sobbed by my side as he continued to read off the heavy list, "You also have a variety of gashes scattered on your body, however, those should heal up without much problem. As apparent, you also have a broken leg. If someone didn't call in earlier, the damage would've been irreparable. A few cracked ribs, and a sprained wrist. No internal bruising had been done, so your recovery, while tedious and long, will be accessible."

Wincing slightly, I blew out a breath I didn't know I had held in until now. I was lucky. Under normal circumstances, this would have been my end. This should have been my end.

"Unbelievable," I muttered.

"I'll say. Someone must have been watching over you, Edward."

--

The days spent at the hospital were indeed, tedious and long. My mother stayed by myself relentlessly, and refused to leave. I argued that she'd be bored out of her mind, because I was definitely going to be. Nonetheless, she pursued to spend her time here, complying with my every need.

My father visited me often too, at least once every few hours, in-between his shifts. Now that he was assured that my recovery was going to fine with not unwanted disruptions such as a fatal concussion, he returned to his work. He still checked up on me now and then to make sure I didn't do something stupid, like jump out of the window.

Right. Like I have the overwhelming urge to do just that.

Alice and her fiancé appeared after she got back from the cafeteria, which she deemed to be unsatisfactory, and kept me company while Esme went home to shower. They informed me on the latest news that I missed out on while I was unconscious. Her eyes told me that momentarily, I would get away with having a talk with her, in private, and that this brief dissipation was that, brief.

She and Jasper had finally set a date for their wedding, April 18th as recognition for the day they first met. Her smile was blinding as she described the decorum and the location they had picked. Neither Jasper and I were too interested, but we kept up with her as she described the beauty of having a Spring wedding.

Finally, when an hour had passed, and Alice was still debating on whether she should have fish or meat for her main entree, when I decided to press her for other news unrelated to wedding ceremonies.

"Well, Rosalie did a number on Emmett when he practically ran her over, but that was to be expected," she said nonchalantly as she filed her nails.

I straightened up. "What happened?"

"He was in a rush to get here promptly. Drove the Jeep to pick up Rosalie on his way to the airport, but he was panicking so he swerved on the driveway and almost hit her. Luckily for her, she dove out of the way out of instinct, and he only crashed into her mailbox."

There was that word again.

Luck.

Luck had saved my ass from being buried six feet under. Luck saved Rosalie from being crushed under Emmett's massive Jeep.

Everything seems to revolve around that lately, and I wonder how much longer until my own luck runs out.

"Anything else?"

"Why, actually yes!" And then she smirked, a devious smile planted on her rosy lips.

"Are you planning to wait a day before telling me?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh hush. It's called building up suspense."

"Well, get on with it."

"Isabella Swan has come home," she sang.

--

I was 15 when I first met Isabella Swan.

She was the daughter of Chief Swan, and after her flighty mother had divorced her father, both of them had moved to California, and then later on to Phoenix, Arizona. Or so that's what the gossipers said.

Since she was 9 years old, her mother would fly her out to Forks and Isabella would spend a month with Charlie.

Despite the diminutive size of the town, I've yet to catch a glance of Bella, unlike Alice. Alice had seen her in various parts of Forks. From riding her bike down the road to the market, to the playground at Forks Elementary. Alice never failed to mention the beauty of Isabella, and made unsubtle hints that I should meet her one day.

During the summer that I turned 15, I had gotten my chance.

My mother had an errand that she needed me to run, and since I had gotten my permit the day before, she allowed me to drive the Mercedes, if Emmett was there to supervise me. He had gotten his license a year ago, and to my parents, that set him to be a good example for myself.

Emmett was reluctant to get in the car with me, but the opportunity to see me make a dent in Carlisle's precious possession was too good to pass up.

"When Carlisle sees the scratch you caused on his Mercedes, he'll forget all about the vase I smashed. Someone has to take the heat off of me for a while, and since Alice can't seem to do any wrong, it's up to you, Edward. Don't let me down," he warned.

Thrifty Mart was, sadly, the only available grocery store in Forks. In a town this small, there were no need for Safeway's and Costco's.

The parking lot was relatively empty for a July afternoon, the only other car here being an old Toyota. Grabbing a shopping cart, Emmett and I ventured inside, unaware of what was going to transpire.

Emmett had left me in search for his most prized food, Fruity Pebbles, while I had to go scavenge for milk and pasta sauce for tonight's dinner. I wasn't paying much to where I was going, my eyes wandering to the aisles stacked with food, when my cart had abruptly clashed with another. I was caught off-guard, and stumbled slightly before regaining my equilibrium again.

"I'm so sorry, I-"

My apology was cut off when I saw her. My first thought was, she's definitely not from around here. I would've noticed if she was. Her dark brunette hair was a striking contrast to her ivory skin. And her eyes! They were unnaturally large framed by unnaturally long lashes. Impulsively, my eyes trailed down to her red, full lips. They were opened in shock, which only reminded me that I was staring at her, like an idiot.

"I'm sorry, miss. I didn't mean to hit your cart, I wasn't paying attention."

"No blood, no foul," she said quietly. A slow blush appeared on her pale cheeks, coloring them bright red.

As I untangled the wheels of her cart from my own, I said, "My name is Edward Cullen. You must be... Isabella? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen you before."

"Yes, I guess that's the downside of living here. Everyone knows who you are, who your parents are, and your darkest secrets," she joked.

"So are you visiting? For the summer?" I knew the answer already, everyone did, but telling her that I knew that little fact, and her name, might give her the intention of running away from me, screaming as she did.

She picked up a can of Ragu, checked the price labeled on the jar, and placed it in her cart. "Until the end of this month, and then I'm flying back home to Phoenix."

I bent down, and imitated what she did, showing her I had a reason for being here even though Alice despised Ragu, and asked her, "You consider Phoenix home?"

Isabella's elbows leaned on the handle of her cart as she got into a comfortable position. Her stance gave me a nice view as I pretended to also check the cost, while hiding my motive. "I do. Phoenix is warm, hot. I might not look like it, but I love the sun. The heat takes some getting used to, but I prefer it to the dreary weather we have in Forks. Take today, for example. It's the middle of July, and yet, only earlier, the clouds were raining cats and dogs."

"That's not too surprising for Washington weather. In March, we had about half an inch of snow." Everyone had been exuberant over the bipolar weather, and not too many complained over missing a day of school.

"You're kidding. Snow? In March? That's a bit dramatic, though since it's Forks, that doesn't shock me," she frowned.

I was about to ask her what she was doing next, when Emmett had chosen now to make himself present. He punched me in the shoulder and whined, "Are you done yet? The game's on later today and I don't want to miss it. Who the hell are you?"

Glaring at him, I gave a smack to his head. "Sorry, that's Emmett, my brother. He was dropped on his head a lot as a child and often forgets his mannerisms." She giggled, and I resisted the temptation to grin. Said satisfaction for making Isabella amused was hastily evaporated as Emmett opened his big mouth again.

"Don't listen to what he said. I can be quite charming when I want to," he chuckled. He smiled at her in a style that I was sure was meant to be alluring, but in my opinion made him resemble a pedophile. Unfortunately, I was the minority. Isabella blinked as she was at a loss for words. I internally groan. The one girl I found to be attractive and my brother has stolen her from right under my nose. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum for not getting what he wanted. A tiny voice was shouting "It's not fair!" as we speak.

"It was nice meeting you, Isabella. Come on, we're keeping her from getting her groceries done. The chief won't approve of us stalling his dinner any longer." Ruefully, I dragged myself and Emmett away from her. She waved as us, and turned to walk down the aisle, in the opposite direction.

And that was the last time I'd seen Isabella.

So, here you go! The first chapter. And I managed to get it typed up before Christmas too! I hope you liked it, because most likely, I won't update again until after Christmas.

Readers, I have a quick question for you, would you rather have this story to be told continually in Edward's POV, or have it alternate with Bella's?

Tell me in your review! I'd love to hear feedback from you guys. And for every review, you get a quote from the next chapter.

And reviews are better than presents. So send me your love!

Happy holidays! And for those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas!

oh teenuh