Itachi couldn't sleep.

Of course he couldn't. He was going to leave his younger brother alone to be preyed on by malicious cheek pinching Aunts and cooing eyelash-batting fangirls, for a year.

It was much too long, he decided.

So he frog marched a bleary eyed Sasuke from the Uchiha Clan Condo and dragged him all the way to Forest of Death and sat him down at the entrance gate.

Only ANBU or Jounin would be up this early in the morning and only ANBU trained in the Forest. It was quite empty at this time of day, with only a group of ANBU passing by.

"Sasuke," Itachi began with uttermost somberness and with an air of seriousness about him. A few ANBU stopped to listen in. "There will be a time that you will have to deal with the most terrifying creature in the Shinobi Continents. And I, unfortunately, will not be able to protect you." The ANBU had forgotten all sense of discretion and leant forward in interest.

"I will be away on this mission for a year and there is a great likelihood that they will attack you during that time period."

ANBU weren't supposed to be that obvious in their spying, were they?

"You will find that they are nearly unstoppable and will do nearly anything to get you in their clutches. This includes a lot of seduction, crying and clawing at you."

Many ANBU decided that this was a very serious threat and sat themselves down to listen closer.

"They are called…" Everyone held their breath. "Fangirls."

Some ANBU couldn't help themselves and cracked up, but most nodded solemnly in agreement.

"But do not fear, I have found some scrolls filled with the teachings of the Yondaime Hokage which might one day save your life from them."

Itachi pulled out a few scrolls and opened them with a flourish. Even those who had been laughing leaned in curiously.

The Writings of the Yondaime Hokage

Namikaze Minato

Lesson 1

How to escape from the Fangirl population

I have found that the best way to escape from a swarm of Fangirls is by Hiraishining the hell away, but for those who do not have the fortune of doing so, the greatest chance of success is by taking her shopping.

Now, don't look at the scroll like that! I'm going to explain this.

When she is looking through the selection of clothing, insist for her to try something on. Surely she will agree just to please you. She will go to the change rooms and take a while to make herself look pretty. By the time she has stepped out, you would have already reached a safe house and barricaded yourself in.

Lesson 2

How to escape from the foreign Fangirl population

When visiting another country or nation, always keep a handy book about laws on hand. Usually, in the law book, there will be a jurisdiction that forbids anyone from harassing an heir/ prince/ guest/etc. in any shape or form. If not, just make one up and by the time they've searched it up, you would have disappeared already.

Note; This might not work if you are not an intellectual type of person.

Lesson 3

How to escape from a Fangirl who thinks you're just in denial

I have met quite a few of this species of Fangirl. They are quite similar to the breed that is violent when she doesn't-

Itachi rolled up the scroll there and handed it over to his younger brother.

"I advise you to memorize all of these as they may one day save your life."

Sasuke nodded seriously.

Fangirls must be verydangerous creatures if Itachi was so scared of them.

Shisui liked observing people.

People were very interesting because they developed quirks that they themselves did not notice. So it was up to Shisui to do it for them.

Kakashi's quirk wasn't being late or making stupid excuses for his lateness. No, those were just done to commemorate the dead. His quirk was wearing masks. It was in both the literal and figurative sense. Kakashi seemed to enjoy showing people different masks of his personality. He did it so much that people sometimes wondered if they were discussing the same person.

Yondaime-sama's quirk had been collecting ramen receipts. He would pin them all over the walls of the Hokage Tower and his own house. It was as if he didn't want to be forgotten and left bits of himself behind.

Anko-san's quirk was the hardest to figure out. For a long time, Shisui had believed that one of the craziest of them all didn't have a quirk at all. But he discovered it in the end. Anko-san liked making pictures or patterns. She would fling throwing knives or senbon at a wall or a person and toss them so that they made pictures. Most of the time, they were the Konoha symbol or the letter A.

Itachi's quirk was pocky. It only took Shisui a week to find that one out. At every town, Itachi would always subconsciously search for a shop that sold pocky. When he was bored he ate pocky. When he was anxious he wolfed down pocky. When he was angry he gorged himself on pocky. You could usually tell Itachi's mood by how he was eating his pocky or counting the boxes of pocky he ate.

So he wasn't surprised when he found Itachi sitting surrounded by piles of pocky containers in the Hokage Tower. And counting the empty ones, he could tell that Itachi was worried. And taking a wild guess, he presumed that he was worried about Sasuke.

Shisui mentally shrugged.

He couldn't do much when Itachi was in this state of mind.

He settled down next to Itachi, careful not to crush any of Itachi's precious pocky boxes.

Shisui watched the clock hand tick on 7:30 and there was a sharp cracking sound. Sandaime-sama looked up from the paperwork he was filling out and greeted Dumbledore. Their client told them to hold onto a dull looking sword scabbard in three minutes.

"Raven!" The Sandaime threw a thick looking book at Itachi which was caught with graceful ease. Itachi's masked head tilted in question. "This book belonged to the Yondaime. It is the second one that I believe you were searching for. The things written there may one day save your life."

Itachi seemed to read the front cover and his mood appeared to shift. He held the book reverently as if it held the teachings that would save the human civilization. He sealed it into a scroll which he then tucked into one of the numerous pockets that lined the ANBU cloak.

Shisui's fascination was drawn.

But he never got to ask as he felt an abrupt tug to his navel.

It didn't matter; Shisui would not stop until he found out what was written on that book.