Born to Fight

A/N… many things have changed since Agent Carter S1 ended and with the Civil War movie plot (recent trailers); who is in/out etc. I like to stay in cannon (vehemently). So it is with regret, I'm bending the movie to make the Steve and Bucky of the movie fit to my fic. The underlying issues are still there, but not as blatant. Let's just pretend that Bucky isn't as dysfunctional as he looks in CACW, hmm? Hints/Spoilers for Agent Carter and possibly Civil War. Nods to comic cannon as well.

Avengers HQ, Upstate New York, 3 months post Age of Ultron, pre Civil War.

Sam completed the 360 degree spinning kick deftly, sending the mannequins flying painfully through the air. With a neat folding of his mechanical wings, he landed deftly, crouched and waiting for the next assailant.

Scarlett Witch levitated on jets of burning air planning her next attack. The Vision followed closely behind. Together they confronted Falcon, who launched skyward to meet them in the air. Beams of red light married with yellow sparked against the blue sky as Wilson flew like the expert pilot he was, avoiding the blasts. Occasionally a whoop of excitement would emanate from Falcons' lips.

Bucky sparred with Natasha in hand to hand combat, both loudly cussing in Russian and laughing as if they were close friends or lovers. Their bodies crashed together and separated like opposing forces of nature. The knives were real, not rubber, and tiny drops of crimson dotted the floor around their lethal dance. Neither of them seemed to feel the cuts.

Steve stood above on a raised platform observing his new Avenger crew, arms crossed over his chest appraisingly, a dissatisfied frown chiseled into his forehead, hooding his eyes. He wasn't angry at his new team. Actually, far from it. They were everything he could ask for and more. What concerned him was something else. Ultron put to rest permanently and all seemed well with the world, for now. But it wasn't. Trouble loomed on the horizon.

"Avengers, hit the showers!" Steve called over the sparring ground. The group stopped, looking almost forlorn that their fun was over.

"Aye aye, Captain." Sam replied as they separated to their various quarters.

"Reconvene at the mess hall for debriefing in two hours." Rogers said tersely and departed the grounds. Widow and Bucky watched him closely.

"Something isn't right." Natasha said in Russian as she wiped her blades clean on her sleeve.

"He's a worry wart. I'm sure it's nothing." Barnes replied but noted the shift in Rogers' body posture.

"Nice work today." Widow punched his left shoulder lightly. Bucky looked at her warmly, recalling his days with her in the Red Room when they weren't trying to kill each other.

"Yeah, you've gotten better yourself." he smiled, blue eyes sparkling, "Age has taught you some things."

Natasha had a snappy reply in her mouth but swallowed it. She had missed him all those years when he was HYDRA's puppet. The Russians were capable of such terror and it was too much for her to make a petty joke of it. "Thanks." she managed, feeling like a teenaged girl with a crush.

"I'm going to clean up." James managed, also feeling the awkwardness of their conversation building. Romanov watched him leave feeling a tiny part of her walk away with him.

Steve paced his apartment, which was no larger than any other recruits' space, restlessly. Tony had just wired in a transmission that the United Nations had held a committee meeting about Sokovia and how the world was going to help them rebuild. Who would help them with infrastructure? Refugees were streaming out of the tiny country as the power vacuum was felt keenly in the region. Surrounding nations were feeling the burden of helping the displaced.

Eyes were turning towards Tony and the Avengers for answers.

Tony hinted at some sort of agreement, a type of regulation to pacify those who called for imprisonment of all the Avengers. Cap weighed the words carefully. He didn't like their implied restrictions.

Stopping in his tracks, he scraped his hands down his face, exasperated. Tightly scrunching his eyes closed for just a moment, he wished he was still frozen, oblivious to the world where he could be at peace and just stop fighting. Thinking back to Erskine and the 'miracle' offer of the serum, would he do it again knowing what he knew now? His fists balled, clenched tight against his legs as the tension wrapped iron cords around his shoulders. Forcing himself to relax and regain control, he opened his eyes and uncurled his fingers. There was a solution to his unrest.

Steve went to his bedroom closet, pulling out a plain cardboard box. Tugging off the lid, the smell of old paper, like a great library, permeated his nose. Sheaves of letters all carefully filed away were waiting for him to read. He went to 1947, when Peggy had been called to Los Angles for the SSR and pulled out a few pages. Sitting on his bedside, he began to read, looking for some inspiration and calm from his departed beloved.

April 1947,

Dear Steve,

When I was a girl, I envied my brother. He was older, faster and stronger than I. He could do things I could not, yet never told me I couldn't do them too. I could have been anything in his eyes and I am ever grateful for his unwavering support.

Today is a momentous anniversary when I began my life as a spy. Today is also the anniversary of my brother's death in combat. It was a life altering event that I will never forget as long as I draw breath.

Steve's eyes widened. She never mentioned she had a brother.

It was a cruel yet effective twist of fate, I believe, that led me to where I am today and it is all because of his beauty and honesty. I never told you, or anyone at the SSR that I had been at one time engaged when the opportunity to join the SOE, a British analog of your CIA, appeared.

Steve swallowed; engaged? He thought… well… he thought… a lot of things, but this about Peggy was not one of them. Obviously she married after. He had met her children and grandchildren. But before him? Who was he kidding? Peggy was a vivacious, beautiful woman. Why wouldn't she have a life before him? Again the star crossed irony smacked him across the face painfully.

As if she read his mind her next sentence banished all his worries:

And if it were not for my brother, I would have never met and fell in love with you. I am sure you are very confused right now. Allow me to reminisce and tell the tale.

Bless my parents, they supported my dreams as a child but as I grew, the burden of what society wanted for my gender began to encroach upon my outlook on life. My mother was so proud of my work with the code breakers as was father, but they wanted a married daughter, not an SSR agent. I thought I wanted that too; I would put away the fancies of a younger time and assume my place in the world as it expected me to.

Michael was a kind man, strong willed and disciplined. He was also a great judge of character. His comment to me at my own engagement party was to forsake my betrothed and join the SOE. He nominated me for the position. At the time, I was insulted and hurt. How dare he tell me what I wanted!

Well, Michael certainly had me figured out more than I had myself and what I was capable of. One of the last things he said to me was that I was born to be a fighter. I was made of sterner stuff to achieve greater things.

With his death, I saw that I was part of a larger world that I couldn't hide from. I was made to fulfill what I wanted in life, not what society had planned for me. I had a destiny and his sacrifice made that utterly clear. I was born to fight, and so I did.

Looking back so far on my career, through the pain and agony, I see how much good I have accomplished. Thompson doesn't see it, but I know others, like Daniel, do. Most importantly I see it and that in the end is all that matters, really.

To Michael, the second bravest man I ever knew, next to you, Steve.

Love,

Peggy

Steve contemplated her words deeply for a moment. In his ears, his blood sang as the message for him leapt from the page. Be true to oneself. The world all holds expectations of us, but if you cave in at the first sign of pressure, what kind of person were you?

Carefully folding the letter, Rogers replaced it and closed the box.

Tony be dammed. Steve knew what was right in his heart and he was going to stick with it, just like Peggy did. Gathering his thoughts, he went out to meet his team. He had a feeling they were not going to like what they heard.