A.N: All characters and events in this story-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. Everything is the right of their respective owners. I own nothing.:

I sat looking at the magazine page, with my heart beating so hard I thought it'd burst out of my chest. Bella Swan it said. Bella Swan. Bella Swan. Bella Swan. Bella Swan. Not matter how I said it, it didn't make sense. She was in a magazine. Modeling. In a swimsuit magazine. There she was. Pictures of her in various poses in both a one-piece and a bikini. Bella Swan.

'It's really her,' I said, more to myself then anyone else. 'This is so weird. To see someone I know in a bikini spread. Bella, at that.' Closing the magazine, with sweat rolling off of my brow: Geez, was the only word that came to mind.

I sighed. 'Now she's definitely out of my league. Not that I ever had a chance with her, but...'

Suddenly, a 'hey,' came from behind me, startling me, and causing a scream to be let loose.

'Hey.. Let's have a look at Swan's butt!' Emmett said, grabbing the paper out of my hands.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? HEY! GIMME THAT! AND STOP DROOLING OVER HER!'

'Easy there, Eddie boy. Remember who gave you that magazine? The only reason you got to ogle those creamy thighs... is because I subscribe to it! But don't fret. Bella never told anyone about it. We're the only ones who know her secret.'

At that, I just remained silent. What a calming thought to have, that the only people who saw her like that, are two of the least worthy people. My engaged brother, and a monster.

'Whoa, her legs are wide open! For someone so prim, she sure looks relaxed,' he said, suspiciously, like the whole spread was just a conspiracy.

'You... You know Bella pretty well, huh, Emmett.'

'Yeah. We even went out yesterday,' came a muffled voice from somewhere in the magazine.

'WHAT!? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ROSALIE!' I shouted. Quickly, I wrapped my hands around his neck and started shaking. Krerk, krerk, and aaagh where the only sounds audible in the serenity of my meadow.

'I-I'm just messing with you! I bumped into her, so we went to the diner. You know she's like a lil' sis to me.'

'YOU WENT TO THE DINER!?'

'Would you prefer that I took her to the Flesh Farm? Anyway... Back in February, the drama club.. or the theater company or whatever, put on a show. One of the editors of this magazine noticed Bella.'

***She and I were sitting at opposite sides of this little table. The air in the diner was filled with smoke, and the smell of cheap perfume.

'The director thought it might be a good way to promote the company,' she said timidly, blushing a furious scarlet. I could almost see why Eddie had the hots for her.

'Oh, do tell,' I said as reassuringly as possible, sipping my coffee.

' They told me it was a girls' magazine! Nobody said anything about a swimsuit! They made me do all these weird poses, and they hardly even mentioned the company! I'm so humiliated!' she sad, partly muffled as she had put her head in her hands. I couldn't help but think; "weird poses?"

'Those pictures are a secret, okay!? I don't want anyone to find out about them. Especially not...'

'Umm... Actually.. Ed-Edward already...'

'WHAT!?***

'YOU MENTIONED MY NAME!?

'She looked so mortified. Could be she's got the hots for you', Emmett said casually, as if he was talking about the always dreary weather here in Forks. It's always gray, always cloudy. Almost always raining. When it doesn't rain, it snows. There are only a handful of days a year where the weather is almost bearable. It seems a perfect metaphor for me.

'Maybe she'll put on a private swimsuit show for you.' As those words were said, my mind went to dark places, imagining Bella spread out in that skimpy blue bikini, her breast swelling against the fabric clinging to her every pore. My heart went into overdrive thinking about her with her sweet, angels' face, saying it was just for me.

'Sorry to drag you back to Earth... But that's never gonna happen.' As these harsh words were said, my fantasy crashed around me, bringing me back to my cruel reality.

'YOU LUCKY DOG! YOU GOT TO SIT IN THE DINER WITH HER!' I snapped, perhaps unfairly.

'Pfft. Just grow a pair and ask her out yourself!'

'Hah! If I had that kind of nerve, I'd have done it months ago,' I added bitterly, snide in my remark. 'I totally implode... around girls I like. I act like I hate 'em... So they won't know... That I really like 'em.'

Even though I was facing away from him, with my back to the little stream, I could feel his eyes boring into me, like he was trying to see into my non-existent soul.

'Well? Aren't you gonna ask me what happened?' I asked rudely, only to be met with silence from my big bugbear of a brother.

'I was in sixth grade...'

***'Hey, Eddie!' Some girls came up to me on the playground. One of 'em was Kate, who I had a crush on.'

'Wh-what?'

'You like Kate, don't you!! We know you do!' they shouted knowingly at me. The banana and the tomato. Aptly named to match their physical appearance, the banana was long, tall, and her skin was yellow from fake tan. The tomato was round, and red from anger. And probably flushed from the exertion it took to move her body around.

All I could do was mumble and blush.

'You always stare at her. And bring her treats, too!! So? Admit it!! C'mon, Kate, tell him!' they said, spitting their words out and spraying me with saliva.

'I..I don't like you, so please stop doing stuff like that. I think you're gross.'***

'After that, I decided it would be better to hide my true feelings. During that ordeal, I was so embarrassed I wanted to die.' I looked up from the grass underneath my feet to Emmett. I must've turned around and looked down while recounting my story. Instead of sympathy, I received boisterous laughter.

But I had a friend to cheer me up...

***' That was mean. But, Edward, don't let them break you! If you really like someone, go after her with everything you've got!'

She was Tanya Denali, who was a year younger than me. Se lived down the block and we used to play together.***

'She had tears in her sparkling blue eyes as she spoke, and had leaves in her hair. I'd always wondered if she liked me...'

'So what happened to her? She dump you too?'

I sighed, sadly. 'No. Four years ago... She went somewhere far away...'