Title: Poisoned Butterflies
Series: Homestuck
Rating: PG-15? (For Karkat's characteristic foul mouth)
Word Count: 1,784
Karkat's silence was broken. Someone had rudely interrupted his quiet time by ringing the house's gothic doorbell. Over and over again. And they would not stop. He decided quickly their fate. They must die.
Karkat grumpily tossed his legs over the side of his bed, carefully discarding his thick tomb of god-knows-what and scurrying quickly down the stairs to the front door. He threw it open with a bang and bellowed, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
A small young boy clad in a pair of wrinkled khaki shorts, colorful band-aids, galoshes, and a blue wind-sock tucked on to the top of his head grinned maniacally at him with flushed cheeks through the doorway, unaffected by the vulgarity of Karkat's greeting. The boy seemed to vibrate, whether it was his feet shifting his weight back and forth or his arms swinging, he never seemed to stop moving. He performed a strange little hop before speaking in a high, sing-song lilting voice, "Hullo, my name's John! Do you wanna play with me?" His black eyes glittered adorably and his smile radiated warmth and friendship.
Karkat stared at this specimen of everything he loathed bunched together into one being with a look of incredulous disbelief etched on to his face. The boy, John, tilted his head a bit and clapped his hands behind his back, the breeze gently tossing the stray black locks of hair peeking out from under his unusual head adornment.
Karkat blinked once, then promptly slammed the door shut. He moved to return to his room to finish his book, but he hadn't taken two steps before the doorbell began screaming bloody murder. Whirling around in a building rage, Karkat stomped forward and threw open the door once more.
"GO AWA-AARGHBLUTHFSHUPUF!" John tackled Karkat down to the entryway's plush rug, crouching over him with a small squirt-gun aimed at his face. John smirked playfully, plopping down on to Karkat's chest, causing him to wheeze painfully.
"You're under arrest for bein' a stick in the mud, buster!" John prodded Karkat's cheek with the tip of the gun, which was leaking haphazardly all over the floor.
"BLARGHFSHMERTZ-GET OFFA ME YOU IGNORANT SQUID'S ASS!" Karkat writhed on the floor beneath his attacker, arms pinned to his sides by the boy's legs. John, effectively ignoring Karkat's distress and choice words, became distracted by the candy corn colored horns budding from Karkat's head. His eyes widened and he reached forward tentatively, fingertips brushing their tips. "Woah..." he breathed, slightly stroking Karkat's fake horns. Karkat stopped struggling for a moment to catch his breath, shaking his head to dislodge the boys grubby hands and stray water droplets that were tickling down his neck. The boy was like a fucking rock for crying out loud! Of course, Karkat's lack of physical activities might have contributed to his weakness at the moment, but he would never admit that. Karkat glared up at the slightly shorter boy and snarled,
"What do you want, you crazy pubescent brat! GET OFF!" Karkat wiggled some more and managed to kick his knee up high enough to jab John in the back. John squealed and lurched forward, narrowly missing Karkat's face with the gun as he reflexively shot his hands forward to catch himself. Karkat took advantage of their new close proximity to jerk upward and head butt John in the face, causing him to jump back slightly then slowly roll off, dazed and moaning.
Karkat sat up, rubbing his forehead gently and glowering at the pile of limbs sprawled out next to him. Thinking quickly for someone who had just bashed their head into something of equal density, Karkat confiscated the gun and stood up to roll the nasty little creature out through the doorway.
John blinked slowly, trying to figure out why the world was spinning, and felt the bump of the doorway pinch his side before he toppled over on to the rough sidewalk in front of the door. Karkat sniffed haughtily at the stunned child sprawled on his doorstep, blinking dazedly and mumbling incoherently, and turned to go back inside. He turned to grab the door and glanced at the object of his new found hatred and slammed the door again before heading back to his book in peace. "Crazy ass neighborhood and it's crazy ass stupid little punks..."
John lay there for what seemed like hours. Not because he was still dazed, but because there were these real pretty butterflies fluttering around the poisonous shrubberies lining the side of the house, and they passed over him, hopping from one bush to the other. It was mesmerizing.
Karkat skimmed his reading material, still half-way irritated at the earlier interruption and not yet ready to calm down.
Lusus, his cat, meowed and prowled around on the bed, rubbing its cheek on his shoulder before hopping down gracefully and exiting the room. Karkat noted this as insignificant until the cat meowed again, right outside his door. He absentmindedly glanced at his door before continuing his read, then got up with a frustrated groan when the cat yeowled and pranced around outside his door. "What the fuck do you want? I can't have any peace at ALL!" Karkat grouched and whined but followed his faithful companion back down the stairs. In passing the front door on the way to the kitchen to obviously feed his fat ass cat, Karkat heard noises from the other side of the door.
"You're so pretty, oh so pretty, you're so pretty and witty and AWESOME!" John's voice got higher and higher and Karkat stopped by the door, a pained look on his face. "That stupid motherfucker is still here?" Karkat stepped forward and pulled open the door, his cat calmly sitting off to the side watching him. John lay where he had left him, staring up at the sky, hands flailing above him in a strange sort of conductors choreography. Karkat stood staring at him for a few moments, wondering when he was going to notice that the front door was open again. John continued to sing off-key, throwing his arms about and trying to catch the purple-black butterflies taunting him from above.
"You. Off my property. Now." Karkat leaned against the door frame, trying to look intimidating despite his age and size. John looked towards him, eyes widening in surprise. He grinned and scrambled to his feet, a red mark still apparent on his forehead from their earlier collision.
"Hi again! You gonna play with me now?" John used the puppy face again, glittering eyes and all, and inched forward in tiny steps. Karkat glowered, arms crossed, but his temper didn't flare quite as high as it did before. "No. Now go away." John's smile wilted a little this time, and he scuffed his toe against the ground, his hands behind his back. His wind-sock hat fluttered in the small breeze, making him look ridiculous, and Karkat put on a slightly bemused expression. "W-well...can I have my toy back then?" John looked a bit like a kicked puppy this time, and even Karkat's thickened hide couldn't resist a tiny bit of cuteness contamination.
Karkat remembered the squirtgun, and realized he had stuck it in his back pocket. Feeling stupid and realizing that the gun had a leak, he reached behind him nonchalantly and felt his pocket. It was wet. And the spot was large. How much water was in there anyway?
Blushing in humiliation, Karkat scowled and began closing the door again, "No! Now go away before I set my guard dog on you!" John sniffled, eyes welling up in unshed tears as he continued staring at Karkat. Karkat winced, and realized that this kid was a first-class manipulator with a hide made of rubber. He'd used several tactics to try to get him out of the house, first by being polite, then by using force, and now he was using dirty tricks. It probably wouldn't do him any good to deny him much longer. Who knows what he would do next? He might steal his cat for ransom or something. Not that he would pay. But still, it would be inconvenient.
Karkat shuddered, but gave in to the boys manipulation. He glared at him for a moment before growling, "Fine. I'll play with you gogdammit. Just let me change first so I don't get slimey grub shit all over my good clothes."
John shrieked in victory, punching the air and performing his lucky dance, which made his hat twirl quite ridiculously. Karkat sighed and debated on closing the door and leaving him out there. John finished his dance before he could decide and tumbled into the door, rolling over Karkat's toes and into the front hall. He came to a stop sitting up, legs akimbo, and looked at his surroundings in awe.
Karkat cursed under his breath, flexing his wounded toes before shutting the door and stomping up the stairs to his room. He paused half-way up and turned towards the still idle boy child examining the front entryway. "Don't. Touch. Anything. If anything breaks or ends up disappearing, I will personally gut you and make a cello out of your stinking carcass." John smiled at him in response and rolled around on the rug, yelping when his skin touched the cold wet spots from earlier.
Lusus purred and followed Karkat up to his room, positively pleased with itself. Karkat turned to shut his door and glared at his cat. Traitor. He then began the delicate process of exchanging his clothes with those in his closet. He froze with his shirt two thirds of the way over his head when he heard a thump and a yelp from below. Ah shit.
Heeheehee...I felt like I kind of went around in circles here... I'm most likely not doing this right because I'm not planning any of this, it's all just coming out as I get to it, thus the endless cycle of doors slamming and John being irritating and weird. IT could also be that it's almost 5 o'clock in the morning...but yeah...I'm not real tired...yet...zzzzZZzzz
NOTE: I've decided to work seriously on this, so please wait a little longer for the next chapter. ^-^ I promise it will be much longer and better written this time round, so be looking forward to it!