EMPIRE
Summary: First impressions last.
Notes: This is going to be tricky.
ii. A Matter of Talking
838
"Why so nervous? Meg, I thought you were supposed to be calm. Cool. Jeez. You're really so uptight, aren't you? Mistress Meg," teased a male voice. Jack Lithgow, aged ten and seven years and by far, the eldest among the trainees in the squad. The 87th Trainees Squad was composed of many people. There was Jack Lithgow, a man who could work hard with all his efforts. Charlie Hunter, Meg's friend, was a woman whose laughter was raucous. Her tongue could produce and spew racy jokes, as well as words that could make people weep and cry and laugh from comfort, relief and amusement. The graduates were being assigned and she was placed in a squad with Charlie, and Jack.
The nickname Mistress Meg and Lady Meg made Meg's stomach lurch. Jack Lithgow had come up with the nickname during the first day of classes. He had immediately noticed her red hair – and how she wore it. Tufts of long red hair always being braided up and bunned up her head to put it out of her way. Before testing for the 3MDG gear, Meg had put her hair up in a loose bun and set atop it with a pencil to secure the bun. While in the line, she had been daydreaming – then the youth had snatched the pencil from her bun. Proceeding to test the 3DMG gear, the girl had not noticed that the bun was frizzing loosely – and then her hair had gotten caught up in the gear. The youth then went on to make fun of her and as a result, Meg had taken greater pains to get her long red hair out of her way. Mistress Meg it became, for the way she carried herself, Mistress Meg, for her gentle manners, her way of talking and caring for others. Mistress Meg for the way she walked and greeted you, and the annoying way how her eyes went all soft and warm and liquid and her mouth spewed ladies' words like she was nothing but a parrot.
"Well, I'm human," Meg snapped back.
"I suppose so. I can't wait to see our new teammates!"
"Hmm, we're under the Commander himself – and by his side, there's a woman. They call her the Queen of Thorns."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes."
When Jack turned to look at her, his gaze was an intense brown vat of chocolate. His manner was stiff, and less boyish, and suddenly, she was fooled. That Jack would be so serious about it. The Queen of Thorns, thought Meg, her mind racing. What a woman she must be, to be called the Queen of Thorns. The Lord Commander was a strong man and to be with a woman they called the Queen of Thorns, it would be safe to infer she was his equal in calibre.
"They say she's clever. Her words are direct."
"Then she won't be that nurturing with us," Meg murmured. "Clever, direct. What else have you heard?"
"She's taken a fancy to Erwin Smith. That good-looking one the other girls were drooling over. Ohh – and to his friend, the short one. The one with gray eyes and black hair."
Meg shrugged.
"I didn't see him," she decided. A lie.
"You should remember him. He was looking at you."
"He'll be staring at me, then. My hair is 'carrots,'" Meg spewed drily. Her tone was acerbic. Carrots, she thought, was another intolerable nickname that her class had produced for her. Mistress Meg, for her manners, then now, Carrots. Her hair was the color of carrots – and she disliked it.
"Carrots, eh? You should have seen the way he was staring at you. He looks like he fancies the look of you."
"Lies."
"I'm not kidding, Mistress Meg."
"Oh, really? Why would some short idiot fancy me?" Her voice snapped, and raised louder.
"Because…"
Nothing could stop the silence from filling the awkwardness in. At this point, the two soldiers were in front of the door of the room, where their squad was supposed to be gathered.
"Because what?"
"Because…"
The answer never came, because wood burst inward – and out came a man in a Scouting Legion uniform. His eyes were sullen, a wolfish gray, and he was a panther in terms of frame. His brown jacket covered his muscular arms and there was a white cravat attached to his neck.
"Shit." Jack cussed.
The man turned to look at Meg and Jack.
His eyes were passive.
"The Queen of T-Thorns," Meg mustered. Her eyes locked with the man's. Blue and gray. "I-Is she there? Sorry if we disturbed you."
The short man's nose twitched in disgust.
"She is."
Jack and Meg swapped glances at each other.
"Your names."
Meg opened her mouth and looked at the short man in the eye. She held eye contact with him. Despite Jack's presence by her side, that very second when she met his eye, there was something that held there. Was it electricity? It unnerved her; she didn't plan to feel like this. What had she wanted? I want to help. Not this. A dash of an electric feel in the air, the wind bumping in the skin of her neck. His gray eyes were slow and liquid, stable and calm. His posture was rigid, straight but there was the intimidation that oozed from him like a fire that had yet to reveal itself from him. With the way she looked at him, it was easy to imagine that Jack wasn't there. Her eyes saw a whiff of his hand – and then God forbid, her heart raced so fast that her hands were getting clammy.
It was so tempting to think that – This was unforgivable.
"Capet and Lithgow."
"Lithgow, Capet." The man nodded.
"So is she expecting us?" This time Jack cut in the conversation.
How polite, thought Meg drily.
"She is."
"What's your name?"
The man raised a brow.
"My name?"
"Yes," Meg put in.
The man gave her a quick look.
"Levi."
See? Meg thought, Look at the way he looks at me, Jack. He's not fancying me. Not by a long mile. You are obviously kidding me.
"Well, go in. You've delayed the meeting long enough."
Jack sighed and pushed Meg inside the room.
[-]
"Ah, finally, a rose among thorns!"
At the head of the table, there she was. A woman with a tongue as sharp as a blade, she was a beautiful woman. Her features were keen, her nose sharp and high, and her skin clear and moist. Her hair was a fountain of brown and her eyes were the color of emeralds, constant and unyielding. What was really striking was the way she carried herself – she was one of the men, with a big presence, with her large brown eyes, her dimples, and her toughness. This was the real deal. In her youth, she would be very attractive, with a strong sense of sex appeal oozing from her.
A blond head turned.
"So that's her?"
Meg blushed.
In the flesh. Erwin Smith.
Levi took the seat next to Erwin.
"Y-Yes. I'm Margaret Capet," Meg explained, her eye on the woman at the head of the table. So this was the Legion's Queen of Thorns. "Charlie Hunter's supposed to be with us, and I came here with Jack Lithgow."
The woman grinned.
"What was your rank in graduation?"
"I was in third place," Jack cut in. At once, the woman's eyes turned on Jack. Erwin and Levi swapped glances and put on serious looks. This was a woman, Meg observed, that you had to be careful with, especially with your decorum. One wrong word and you would not compete with her fury. She swept like a thunderstorm. Sharp. Witty. For a moment, she wondered – how was it like, to work under her. The woman.
"I wasn't talking to you, you oaf. I was talking to her. Our only rose among thorns."
"Really, I'm no rose, my lady." The shy reply escaped her lips. There was no stopping the polite and gentle tone from her lips. "Just a willing maiden."
The woman laughed.
"Isn't she precious, Erwin?" The woman looked around and unapologetically, hit the table with her fist. Two large cracks resounded across the wooden table. "I want my snacks. I need tea. I asked for it. Erwin, can you tell the orderlies to get me back my cheese? And also tell them our precious rose needs to eat her snacks."
"I told you already, my lady"-oh damn, I said it again, thought Meg irritatedly-"that I'm not a rose. I graduated at seventh place, my lady, I am afraid."
"Have you heard yourself speak? You talk like an heiress. You carry yourself like a princess who is saving her body for her husband." The woman frowned. "Erwin, I need to eat."
Erwin stood up from his chair and exited the room.
"Do you know why you two are in this room?"
Jack grinned.
"Because you are convinced we're pretty gifted. And also, we're three. Charlie's still..um… delayed."
The woman sighed.
"In this room, I have Erwin Smith and Levi. I added Charlie Hunter, Jack Lithgow and Margaret Capet to this collection. Also, there is also Hanji Zoe in the mix. I've chosen you all for special reasons, and one of them is to take you all under my tutelage, as my squad. Commander Shadis chose Erwin Smith first, and I took Erwin Smith under my guard. The man has plenty of potential and smarts, and well, Levi, has great skill with the 3DMG gear. Hanji Zoe, as absent as she is, possesses one of the greatest and most curious minds on the field."
"So you do want something from us," Jack declared. His eye froze on the woman. He was not terrified of biting on to her. Hold onto her for something.
"Your skills. You graduated third, and Charlie graduated eighth place. Our little rose came in seventh." The woman wasn't going to allow Jack just easily to come biting at her. She had true bravado in her mouth. She was not willing to let him claim the price of bravado this easily. Jack was testing uncharted waters this way. "Now, are you aware of these certain skills that made me choose you? I've talked to your instructor."
Jack laughed.
"I'm quick in battle. Also, I did well in the written tests."
"And Charlie…"
"Charlie's a good tactician."
"And Capet?"
"M-Me?"
Meg blinked.
"I came in seventh. All I remember is that the instructor was well, hard on me," she murmured. It was a true story. He did say she was clever, but she did not really believe in such a thing.
"Your gift is something you still have not seen yet, sweetling. You're a good soldier, don't worry." The woman yawned. "Now, now, why is that Charlie Hunter taking so long? And my food, too."
"Erwin will come back," Levi answered her, his voice blunt as a razor. "He always gets the job done, Captain."
The woman nodded, almost placated at Levi's answer.
"Capet, you have a gift. You're perfect."
Behind her, Meg could imagine that Jack was sniggering and snickering at her.
"Now, why is Erwin taking so long, though?"
Jack chuckled.
"And why is Charlie taking so long?" he whispered, his lips tickling Meg's ear. Meg's forehead twitched. Charlie. Charlie. Why did Charlie have to miss this? Charlie usually got late to classes a lot, and liked doing things at spur-of-the-moment. It annoyed her a lot, too. Not to mention, Charlie could be a huge trouble maker. With the men, it was a tricky story. She got into fights easily, too – and had a mouth that ran like a sewing machine. Before joining the trainee squad, Charlie's hand had been promised already to a cousin; her family in Trost was bankrupt and a cousin who ran a bakery business had agreed to marry her to keep her in line. Whatever schooling Charlie had was rather little; her father had said Charlie's mouth was too quick for her. Sometimes, she thought too fast and the thoughts would leave her mouth too fast that it got her into plenty of trouble that much. However, Charlie thought best on her feet, running. It was a weakness and strength too prominent to ignore in her nature.
"Maybe she got into a fight on the way."
"Maybe she enjoyed her breakfast too much and demanded thirds."
Laughable.
Charlie loved to eat. It was a known fact. It was she who loved to hoard food from the kitchens inside her dormitory room with Meg. Sometimes, in the weekends, when she felt like it, she could cook and bake things. It was one of her rare times when Meg actually saw her calm. When she cooked, anything she touched became divine. The kitchen would smell of dough, cakes – the smell of the old food back at the Capet estate, the sweet pastries Meg loved to mess up with the cook. When Meg helped her, Charlie appreciated it.
"Your food's here."
When Meg looked at the open door, her friend was there .
Charlie's hair was messy. Her face was clean, but there was just something wrong with her. Aside from the fact Erwin was practically supporting her, there was this unquenchable stench. The smell of alcohol.
"Oh, shit."
The cuss word left Jack's mouth, and Meg frowned.
"Oh, Charlie, don't tell me you got drunk," Meg muttered to herself in a low voice.
"I look like shit, don't I?" Charlie shrugged and limped to the chair placed next to the chair where Meg was occupying. She mouthed a lousy thank you to Erwin, who nodded curtly and took his seat beside Levi formally, as if nothing happened.
How did he not laugh? How could he take her so seriously? Meg was pretty shocked about it. Here was a female recruit practically leaning onto him for support and not to mention, she was in a hangover. The party for graduation obviously was the culprit. Unless you actually thought about it and came to the conclusion that the girl did get herself drunk on the wine served. In Sina, such behaviour would be shameful for a woman – especially if her family was from a great House, like Meg's. Women were supposed to act prim and proper. Wear their hair in braids and buns, wear skirts, and curtsy, to answer to their lords and obey and wait on their families hand and foot.
"Don't tell me you're drunk," Meg whispered. "What happened to you last night, really?"
"I had tons of fun. Unlike you."
"Excuse me, I had fun."
"Fun? If you call drinking tea and eating all those honey cakes and cookies fun! I had fun with the others. We went drinking and the guys played a game with us, while you were practically draining the kitchen of honey cakes."
Meg blushed; honey cakes were a guilty pleasure.
"Don't tell me playing games with men is fun," she retorted.
"Really, you should stop acting like an old lady, Meg. Look at you! Surrounded by the likes of Erwin Smith! Maybe one of these days, you'll get your wild side on and have fun with him."
"I will pretend you didn't say that."
"Can you two be quiet?" Levi snapped.
"It was her," fired Charlie and Meg at the same time.
Before they could get angry at each other, the woman accepted the dish from Erwin and ate.
"Anyway, all of you will be placed on my squad altogether. I want to watch over you. All of you have to watch your backs for one another," the woman went on. It was becoming clearer and clearer to Meg why she had to see this woman as the Queen of Thorns. "You are all a team. I expect you to keep to each other. It's hard to find someone you can trust nowadays, especially in the military. In your shifts off the military, you should try to get used to each other, do you hear that?"
"We know," Erwin answered her.
No one said anything to that.
"That means you will spend time together as a group. Warm up to each other. Squad Thorn, that's what you are now. A single unit."
Erwin nodded. It seemed safe to assume that the next head of authority if this captain would not be around would be Erwin, Meg deduced.
"Now all of you are dismissed."
At that, the chairs shuffled. The door became the automatic place to go to for this. Jack eyed the door intently, and Meg let her shoulders relax. After this, she would talk, with Charlie and maybe acquaint herself with Erwin and Levi, or maybe get her shift hours in order… Maybe even she could visit Squad Leader Vane, the uncle who had gotten her into the military. After all, she needed to see him as soon as possible. Three years of letters compared nothing to a visit in person. Would he cry? Jump in joy? Worry? Anyway, maybe she had her duties in order now.
"Except you, Capet. I want to talk to you."
"M-Me?"
What did she do this time? Was it because Levi had overheard the conversation between Jack and her? Was it because she was a freak? The awkwardness was too strong.
[-]
Now, they were no longer surrounded. The woman offered Meg a smile that reminded Meg of a cat. Her green eyes sparkled. She was more alive than necessary for a woman with her age. This woman didn't deserve to be called the Queen of Thorns for nothing. Her presence was strong but so was her voice. It was obvious she was some kind of collector; she liked choosing pretty things. Things, that had plenty of value in them, and it was obvious to Meg that the woman favoured Erwin and Levi a lot. Levi, according to the woman herself, was plenty useful with the gear, and Erwin, they said he was a natural leader, and as cunning as a chess player. The world was his chessboard.
And where did Meg sit with this? She couldn't imagine herself being useful in a squad with Erwin Smith. Her tendencies seemed to differ from his. His world was different from hers. She was as naïve as a little baby compared to her squadmates, she thought. Twelve years stuck in an estate in Wall Sina, taught to bake, to hold a lute and sing, to use herbs and to be a lady of the manor. What was that? She had nothing to be proud of, Meg thought nervously. She just did what was asked of her. But still, what did the Queen want from her? She had wanted to help.
"You're not like your other squad mates, Capet."
"I'm a freak, Captain." Meg hung her head, her face ablaze. "What am I compared to them? I'm just nothing. I'm fifteen and they're older than me. They know more than me. They know what the world's like. Me, I've seen little of the world. I'm just a girl who knows how to capture a unicorn. I'm not a tactician. I'm not that good with weapons."
"You're not a freak, Capet."
"Then why the hell did you put me into this squad?"
"This will be tricky to explain." She laughed. "You're a shrewd little thing. You're clever, you know how this whole thing works. I've done digging about you – the Capet family, you're from one of the richest families in Sina."
"Whole thing…" The puzzle pieces had clicked. "So, you mean, politics?"
"Of course, I do! You do realize, you know things, and you have things that are valuable to use, for the sake of the Legion and what's left of humanity. You speak and carry yourself like a lady; you can emphathize easily. You have compassion with you. You have plenty of potential for leadership, and you would be a great piece for me to play. You're attractive, Capet. Your words, your deeds, they can help us."
"You are telling me I know how to play political games."
"And people are drawn to you. You're a kind woman, and a shrewd one, if need be. I won't be always there, forever, Margaret Capet. I'll need someone to mend into someone who can replace me."
"Me?"
"Of course. It had to be you. You would understand, out of all the girls I've scouted. You know how politics works. You have a good heart. You are smart. You are willing to learn. "
"I am willing to learn. I'm not born for myself."
"The Scouting Legion needs a woman who can be the Queen. I want you to want to be a queen."
"A queen?"
"A woman who will know her way to deal with royal politics, who talks to the royal council if need be. A woman who will help our cause. A woman who will deal with military politics like a queen."
"And that will be me."
"Yes."
"Your cards lay in your training. I wanted to teach you the ways. I can make you a great leader. A queen. Keep Erwin by your side. He will help you."
"And Levi?"
"He is a knight."
So this was indeed a chessboard.
"Challenge accepted, Captain," Meg murmured.
"You and I will be a good team. I'll teach you to be a queen. To talk and carry yourself like one."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't call me that."
"Then what shall I call you?"
"Call me Captain."
"Ah."
"We will have private lesson sessions thrice a week. I will teach you things you will need. Manipulation. Strategy. Elocution. Business. Economics. Your manners are tons better than Levi's."
Meg giggled.
"That's true," she allowed herself to say.
"Your instructor allowed me to look at your progress in being a soldier. You won't do too badly, I assure you. Since it's your first year, Erwin and Levi will have to be hard on you."
"I'm prepared for that."
"What do you think of Erwin?"
"He's a great leader. Handsome, strong, he'd make a fine House Lord one day, if he were a noble. Cunning. He knows what he wants – and how to get what he wants."
"You don't have to be too formal with me, my girl."
"Eh?"
"Tell me what you personally think of him. Do you want him in your bed? Don't you want to feel his arms around your waist?"
"E-eh?" Meg's eyes widened. "W-Why would I want that? I really don't want any man in my bed. I'm just fifteen, and I don't have any intention to do reckless things."
"Go on."
"I think it'd be good to acquaint myself better with Erwin. And Levi, too. I need to watch Charlie's back. Also, there's also Jack. "
"I find it funny you don't see Erwin in a romantic light."
"Eh? I don't really see why I should. We are squadmates, after all."
"How about Levi?"
"Levi? He seems pretty passive to me. Steady. I like it – but I'm nervous of him. He reminds me of a panther. Deadly, poised, a little unruly. Young."
"Jack?"
"Ah. He's just being himself, nothing wrong with that but he is unpredictable. He hates being restrained. He has a good head on his shoulders, but he… He can be cruel. He was cruel to me when we were classmates, and he needs to be taught some discipline with regards to others."
"Cruel?"
"During the first day, he messed up my hair and my hair got caught in the gear. Then one time, he called my hair 'carrots'. He loves playing practical jokes on me. And he is pretty rude, and can be selfish, too." Meg sighed.
Captain laughed.
"Do you have any qualms about the kinds of things you'll do for your cause?"
"Me? Nothing."
"Good. You see, a woman has many ways."
"Ways?"
"Yes. Sometimes, if needed, the one between her legs. Sometimes, her ability to make peace. Her ability to spew words saves her. You are a woman – and you need to use that in itself to save yourself. Sometimes, she needs to show skin. Other times, she needs to act. Sometimes, she will need to look pretty and doll herself up. "
Her glance at Meg made the girl stiffen.
"Are you willing to do such a thing?"
"I am."
[-]
After this, Meg thought as the captain dismissed her, she would be getting some rest. Visit the Vane uncle. Mayhap, send a letter to Rose and her younger brother. After all, home was just a concept. Military life would be tough, and she needed to have a fill of home, where the sun shone, where her brother and sister waited for her with open arms and happy smiles. Home.
When she left the room, she didn't notice to see the lingering dark shape on the wall of a turn on the corridor.
"Hey –"
But the shape was too fast – and she reacted. The contrast in their movements was too large. She was dealing with a predator. Swift, and accurate – while her manner of movement was to stare, open her mouth, let her mouth coax this animal into decency, pet it. The rush of hot air, and the close brush of jackets against the wall. Skin lightly tapped on skin. The clash did not have to be so slow to commence - the mere clash of aura proved enough. Shock. Guilt. Displeasure. No touches should be exchanged - that was what both going in through their heads. Slipping on the surface of the wall, the mere grab at her wrist practically burned her skin. The contact was like a vat of warm water - it was like she was compelled to join in the contact. She pulled away - and he tugged, and then more clashing. Skin on skin. Muscle on muscle.
A lady does not let some thug touch her.
Levi looked at her – and he let go of her. She took a few steps away from him, eyes incredulous, her posture rigid. Sweat laced their faces and the skin beneath their clothes.
"I overheard you again."
"Spying on me again?"
"…"
"Well, spit it out, Levi," Meg declared. She rolled her eyes. For now, she would ignore the fact that Levi seemed like a thug. Ugh. Forget that. She would be careful with him at this rate. The tension in his fingers almost terrified her. This was a killer she was dealing with. What could he have done to her? "What do you have to say to me? What did I do to you?"
"Capet, you should be careful of whatever comes out of your mouth and head. You're not a queen. You're a soldier like the rest of us. What makes you think you're better than the rest of us?"
"I'm willing to work," Meg replied. "You're a soldier. I'm a soldier. Does that make one of us greater than the other?"
Levi's nose twitched. Well, well. Looks like this one thinks she's so smart.
"You don't like me, do you?"
Her tone was softer.
"You're a comrade. It's a fact we both can't ignore," Levi replied. "And you acknowledge the fact we are both soldiers."
"Then I take it you're fine with me?"
Levi's reply was to scoff.
"Well?"
It was a demand, this time.
"I'm just going to warn you, to do your job. Know your place, Capet."
"It's not just Capet. It's Margaret. Meg."
"Tch."
"I will make an empire for the Legion, if that will be my job. I don't care, I know I can do my job, Levi. I was not born for myself alone."
He loosed his hold on her collar.
"An empire, you say? You're not a conqueror. You're a little bird."
"I'm not. I'm Meg."
"Then that makes me Levi."
A snort.
"Aren't you going to –"
"I'll do what needs to be done, then. I apologize if I was rough."
Meg acknowledged it with a nod.
"Say, do you want to go have a cocoa drink with me?"
This would be the most logical way to warm up to Levi. Maybe if she got to know him more, maybe she could help him. After all, he didn't seem so bad after all. There was this stability in him. Also, a little bit of unpredictability that she found unnerving. He seemed to be quiet. Introverted, like her.
"You're sweaty."
"Not my –"
"You're still filthy."
"Ugh. Can you ignore the fact I do have some sweat in my shirt?"
"No."
"Still no?"
Meg sighed.
"You're sure as hell asking me to go eat a meal with you when I don't."
"What's wrong with that? I do want to eat a meal with you."
"I sure as hell won't."
"Why?"
"Hn. I've got better things to do."
Rejection.
"Sir!" Her protest was soft.
He raised a brow, cranky.
"You need to explain –"
"I don't have time to be dealing with you right now."
[-]
"Charlie's your name, right?"
Here she was. All alone in the cafeteria. Sitting in front of Erwin Smith. Breathing the same air as him. Practically in front of him. Her heart skipped beats, her hands were clammy and slippery. Her mind was jumbled, her brain and nerves trying to accept the fact she was placed on the same squad as the Erwin Smith, who was legendary among women and men in the Scouting Legion. Unlike Meg who technically kind of lived under a rock when it came to some things, Charlie lived in the moment, the tempo and the speed of time and living. Touch. Feel. Smell. Away from her, Erwin was practically a god.
"Yes."
"Did you go out drinking last night?"
"I did."
Erwin was a respected senior by more years. Erwin, to judge, was tall. Heavily muscled, and he had a nice facial structure. Years of using the 3DMG had toned his body so well. His brows were thick and arched, his nose strong and his jawline edgy like the jawline of a sculpture placed inside the home of a Wall Sina noble. His eyes were nice. Blue. Like ice, thought Charlie. A blue that was colder than the blue in the eyes of Meg. They said he was like a scholar – intelligent, cunning, he could be ten steps away from you when you played chess with him. Yet Charlie herself, she had never seen him as a scholar. A warrior. A good-looking soldier. Time to swoon.
One you could swoon on.
"Ah. Miss Hunter, what do you do enjoy in your spare time?" Erwin leaned forward.
"Me? Ah." Dreaming about you, Charlie could joke. What could she think of? There was baking with Meg.. Hmmm. She wanted his approval, Charlie did. She wanted Erwin Smith to think she had a good personality.
"I like to eat. I bake. I like physical activity."
Why the heck was he asking her such things? It really didn't seem to be his business to go around asking; he was a prodigy, that was what she heard, at least. Smarts and calculation didn't exactly smell good in Charlie's face, anyway. Charlie liked being in crowds, she liked moving, because she had a direction – or she could go run and run all day, feel the sweat gather in the back of her shirt, or even get lost in the sensations of energy running through her body. Theories bored her; unless you needed some practical advice, it was better to throw and toss the rule and the book out the window. Charlie was a tactician - and she valued practicality. It mattered in life or death. Not a fucking theory.
"Is that all? I'm sure a pretty girl like you has more to you."
He called me pretty. Charlie sighed.
"I beg to differ at your comment, Smith," Charlie replied. "Meg's prettier than me. She's more ladylike. Has nice manners. Acts like a lady. "
"Really? Does she?"
"Of course she does." Charlie let the tension run from her shoulders. "She smiles at you a lot, never raises her voice most of the time, at least. She doesn't slouch; her diction is so formal you'd think she was a princess. She sings well, she's never kissed a boy." Charlie grinned. "Maybe I should ask you, Erwin Smith, about your hobbies."
"We were talking about you, Hunter."
"Charlie. I insist. You just called me pretty, that's what you said."
"I'm not kidding. It's about time, I say, that Captain Thorn put some pretty ladies in our squad. We got that covered – you and Capet. Not that Hanji Zoe is not attractive."
"Hanji Zoe?"
"Yes."
This time, when he said the name, it had none of the caprice he had when he called Charlie pretty. Erwin Smith. A man. A mystery. Did he actually call her – and Meg- pretty? Was he lying? Was he not? Charlie knew that she was supposed to trust him. After all, he had persuaded the soldiers to pick the Scouting Legion. Even Meg had listened.
"Isn't she the one who is crazy about Titans?"
Queer. A soldier who was crazy about Titans. Unbelievable. Almost impossible. How could a soldier be so fond of its enemy? That was weird. Crazy. What kind of woman was this Hanji to be capable of such things? When Charlie had heard the rumors, she had refused to believe them. But then, Hanji was smart. They said she was smart. They said she was a genius. A genius she was, that was what Charlie thought – a genius who gave into madness. Hence, the result was her love for Titans.
"Not necessarily, crazy."
"Then what would you call Hanji Zoe then?"
"Unconventional."
"Hmm. In a bad or good way?"
"It depends on your perspective, Miss Hunter."
[-]
"What did you call me for?"
The old man laughed. "Still sassy as ever, Officer. I need to check on your injuries from your last expedition." Squad Leader Vane, that was what the old man had been. Now, what was he supposed to be? He was now assigned to the Medical Division, looking at patients with soft blue eyes that could win people over. The Old Man, as Levi liked to think of him, was rather gentle with the patients. He talked to them a lot. It was also nice, that the man was a good medic –the tonic the man had prescribed the last time they had met was effective.
Levi grunted and pulled off his coat. The injury had healed, thanks to the tonic, and the injury had been a wound at his shoulder. Slowly, his fingers unbuttoned his shirt, and he took it off. The injury in his shoulder was fine – but it would mark.
The old man inspected it for a moment.
"Well, I guess the tonic worked."
"It did."
No need to use that tongue, Levi thought. That tongue. His manners were too soft. Especially for a man of his military experience. No need to dig up the files on Vane; Vane was a veteran, and a strange one. Vane was a man Erwin Smith respected, and a man who was doing well. There was something loose, a few screws a little loose. Vane's collar was dirty, and his hair was messy. Sweat decorated his face, and his eyes were keen but were liquid, unsteady.
"So, I heard you got new squadmates. How are they?"
"How is that any of your business?"
"I'm…curious." A smile in the man's voice; he wouldn't have to fool this one. "It doesn't hurt to hear details about your life. It makes things more bearable, especially for a job like mine."
"Two females, one male."
"How do you find them?"
"Naïve. A bit too young, but what choice do I have in it?"
"Who's your Squad Leader, anyway?"
"It's the Queen of Thorns. Caroline Thatcher." Nosy as usual.
A pregnant silence followed.
Caroline Thatcher was controversial. No doubt about that. It was either you worshipped her or you hated her. She was a storm, she came at people with weapons and hit you with it. In her prime, Levi had heard rumors, in her prime, that the woman was oozing plenty of sex appeal. A bombshell in her younger days, educated, and a born leader, she was seasoned to lead and fight for the sake of humanity. She didn't belong here; she deserved to be a noble matron, head of a noble House. She would have done much better than the Survey Corps.
"Amazing woman."
The man's eyes locked with Levi's. Blue; that damn familiar manner of looking at him.
"Ah, Levi. Your shoulder's fine, but next time you go on an expedition, you'll need a new medic. Unfortunately, that's not me. I think you have someone in your squad who can take care of that. I'll send for her later."
Her.
"I need a medic to patch me up, huh?"
"Of course your squad does. Say hello to her for me, will you?"
The blue eyes.
The impeccable manners.
It was too obvious.
"Ah, Capet."
"I'm glad you pieced it out."
"I talked to her. She was…." What words could describe it? The wall. Him. Her. His grip on her. That was too reckless. He hadn't expected she would be reactive to him. She was seventeen, a few years younger than him and Erwin, and in ways, there was something in her that reminded him of a baby. A baby who didn't belong here. "She was clingy."
"Oh. Tell her I said hello."
"Hn."
[-]
Out of the shift, once her things were fixed, Meg thought that she could take a stroll outside, walking around Trost. Once inside her room, she had taken off her clothes and put on a decent civilian outfit. Ripped the bun constricting her long hair, and let it loose to her waist. She had slipped on a smart and nice light green dress and a coat, and some slippers. To her surprise, out of her private room, Jack had been waiting for her. There he was, looking smart. His black hair was combed, and he looked great, in a gray scarf, beige coat and pants, with leather shoes. It made him look mature - if it were not for his dimples. Wordlessly, he extended his arm out to her and she had taken it. Together, the two had slipped out from the HQ, and walking casually around Trost. Just two young soldiers in civilian clothes, keeping warm, keeping close.
Minutes passed by – Jack's arm with her. Jack's hand intertwining through her fingers. His fingers wound around hers, and the touch was warm but light. This wasn't like Levi's fingers, Meg thought; Levi's fingers were lightly callused but well-kept. Jack's hand was younger than Levi. Clean, but no calluses. Still, it was kind of weird. Why did Jack hold her hand? Why did Jack have the nerve to wait for her? It was as if he was a prince.
"Don't you ever wonder what's out there?" Meg found herself mumbling. Walking beside Jack was weird. He smelled like peppermint, and ginger. Something stronger oozed from him, though. A perfume that was highly familiar to her – he smelled like her father.
"Out where?"
"Beyond the Walls."
"Is that why you joined?"
"To explore the world? See what's beyond the Walls, you mean, Jack?" She spun her head, her hair lightly brushing against his face. "Part of it, it is."
"I see." Jack chuckled. "I've wondered a few times myself, Mistress Meg. Have you truly tried to wonder yourself, about that?" When he spoke, it was like he was not the Jack Lithgow who seemed so long ago, had called her hair carrots, or the boy who had teased and backstabbed her so often behind her back. At least, that was what she thought. Maybe he kept it as a façade. There was so much to him, things she wouldn't know, because she kept to herself, and her priority was going to do well, while he was just so good at everything. Girls fancied him; men wanted to be him and he, he was smart. When he said her name, Meg thought, this time, he said it like she was a statue.
"I've heard stories. About this beautiful body of water. It's out there. I want to see it."
He shook his head, his eyes shining.
"And where have you heard such stories?"
"From my childhood, when I had a family, and siblings who I took care of. " This was the first time she mentioned her personal life, and history. Her siblings now no longer had her. Was she telling him too much? Inwardly, she mentally panicked. No one was supposed to know such things, these things explained and gave away too much. It was too bad she had been mocked at for being too clingy when she had been a trainee, and now, what else could she do? Jack was a squadmate, and worse, Erwin, and Levi, too.
"Who told you such a story? I'm pretty curious. When I was younger, I never took it on myself to think about things."
He glanced at her – and she bit her lip.
"Eh, Meg? Cat got your tongue. I want an answer."
"E-Eh-" She closed her eyes and walked on.
"Meg?"
Yes. She was walking ahead. Farther. Farther. She was a coward, she thought. Avoiding all these questions. Such questions made her nervous. Her hands were clammy. Her cheeks were on fire. Her own tongue was a traitor. Just go leave Jack and go back to the HQ, that would be the next course of action – Her foot slipped on something in the ground and she found herself slipping. Oh, damnit! She closed her eyes. Damn. She would just have to pretend – instead of landing on the ground, she felt arms grabbing at her arms.
"MEG!"
Jack's voice rose.
"Are you okay?" A deep voice. Oddly, it sounded so familiar.
Meg frowned and she opened her eyes.
Oh, God's thumbs!
Her savior was not alone. He was in the street, walking, too, with two male friends. One was tiny, with short black hair, and wearing a black coat over a collared shirt. The other had a beard, and brown hair. His nose was twitching, as if he was smelling her. Her savior had blue eyes, combed short blond hair, and he was tall, muscled.
Two of the men seemed familiar, then it just clicked.
"Oh, thanks for saving her, Erwin!"
Erwin Smith had caught her just when she was about to fall.
This. Is. So. Embarrassing.
Erwin Smith, she thought, may have saved her and caught her, but then it had consequences. One of his friends – the one who was looking with eyes that told a thousand stories and said none of them behind his sullen expression, was eyeing them.
Obviously, he didn't like it.
[-]
"You know, you didn't have to save Capet from tripping in the street."
"I know."
"Why did you save her? You will put ideas in that girl's head." After all, she gave everything away. The girl would swoon over Erwin – and neglect her task as part of the squad. He could not and would not stand for it.
Erwin looked back at his friend, slightly amused.
"Ideas? Who said she was having them in the first place?" Erwin blinked. It was amusing, to see Levi act like this. "If I didn't save her, what do you think might have happened? You know our leader wouldn't like Capet getting into an accident."
"I don't think she's going to get into an accident if you didn't save her. I've seen her type far too many times."
"…Type?"
"Prim. Spoiled. Her accent betrays her – as well as her table manners. She's just a little bird. She will die, eventually." Levi had a good eye – but then, so did Erwin. Thatcher, Captain Thatcher had groomed Erwin herself, keen to support him and his cause. Levi was to be groomed – even if it meant getting into a physical fight with him.
"The Queen thinks she's clever."
"Clever she may be, but strong is she not. Capet thinks she's so great. She needs to be put in her place." Levi didn't favour the girl with his words. His words damned her. The girl was almost a child, with her manners. There was a soft-skinned girl. One with a dreamy look in her eyes, and a shock of electricity in her mind.
"How are you going to do that, then?"
There was a silence that bordered on thinking, not speechlessness.
"Firstly, she needs to get ideas out of her head." Ideas, indeed. Capet had her head buried in the clouds, her nose buried in books, and whatever things Thatcher was teaching her. Majority of her training time was spent with Thatcher; when Levi passed by Thatcher's office, more often than not, he could hear the two women talking – the younger girl would be practicing rhetoric, flowery speeches, and sometimes, he heard dance music playing. Sometimes, she sang at a high pitch his ears ached and his head ached, and his irritation level swept off the roof. Every word from her mouth, in that irritating manner her mouth procured words, it made him detest her the more. A pig. A pig who knew nothing at all. The girl knew nothing – and she was a little bird.
"Who said she was having ideas about me? You know very well, it's hard to resist a man like me. The girl still hasn't touched a man," Erwin chuckled grimly.
[-]
"Are you sure you know what you're doing with Capet?"
"Of course, I am. Why are you asking me? I'm the captain, I know what I'm doing. Out of all the people who had to be asking…"
"The brat is a child. She shouldn't be here."
"Tch. She's a child. She's willing to learn."
"Willing to learn to kill?"
"She chose it, not me. She wanted to obey. She wanted to help."
"It is still not enough. At the end of her first expedition next week, when she's dead, do you think by that time, she will be happy she wanted to help?"
"I spend more time with her than you. I know her more. You don't get her, do you?"
"The girl is a brat. She's a child. For hell's sake, the wench ended up tripping in a street in Trost. If it weren't for Smith's fault, then she would end up in the infirmary, unconscious – and being useless."
"You don't like her?"
"I don't like her attitude."
[-]
"So… how's your first day so far?"
"I…got tired. Jack's acting… queer. He's never nice. Not to me. Until now." Meg squeezed her eyes shut. "Sometimes, boys confuse me. You don't know what they think. You don't know what they want. I want to sleep."
"Jack's just being nice. He is nice. His humor is great – if you happen to notice it."
"Calling my hair a vegetable makes it unforgivable. He picked on me, Charlie."
"Nah. Jack is maturing. Explains it all, don't you think?"
When she looked at her redhead friend, said friend was already lying on top of the mattress, hair spilling over pillows, eyes closed – and a copy of a thick book covering her face.
It must be tiring.