I finally found my external hard drive where I saved this story. A lot of people wanted me to reupload it so here it is. I still plan to rewrite it but this current version of the story will remain uncompleted as it is. I'm currently working on my other story When the Music Fades so once I'm done with that my next story will either be the SOS sequel or my rewrite of this story. Honestly, as I'm writing this and working it out in my head, I'm not sure which I want to write first since I have both of them outlined. I'll let you guys know if I figure it out. If you don't already know, I just started my first semester in grad school so that is really monopolizing my time. With that being said, I'm going to try and upload as many of this chapters as I can (and have the time for) in between classes but I do have to go back in and format each chapter because the formatting is all weird in the documents.

Chapter 1

Aubrey stood in front of the full length mirror in just her underwear and bra. It's been a long time since she had looked at herself in its entirety. She looked over her body surprised that she somewhat liked what she saw, a feeling she hadn't felt in such a long time. Unfortunately her happiness was short lived and overshadowed by the dysphoria she felt at it in her underwear. Her hands warily went out to cover it hoping that for a second she could pretend that it wasn't there. Much to her dismay, tears began to fall from her eyes, landing on her cheeks.

No one will ever see you as real woman with that thing between your legs

She started to cry a little harder, believing every word she thought. She would never be a real woman if she still had a penis and she knew it. It was the reason why she had never had a girlfriend, it was the reason she had never had sex and it was the reason she would be alone forever.

"Aubrey, I need to use the bathroom." She could hear Chloe on the other side of the door cry out in annoyance.

"Ok. Just give me a minute." She responded startled at the sudden voice.

Quickly putting on her clothes and wiping away the tears, she opened the door, Chloe storming past her and immediately walking to the toilet.

She grabbed her bag and her coffee,

'Hopefully my dysphoria isn't that bad today.'

"Chloe, you know I'm going to need your help on this project since you're super awesome at psychology." Beca stated, walking into the dorm the redhead shared with Aubrey. She looked around the apartment, slightly disappointed that the blonde wasn't there. Ever since Chloe had finally gotten her to admit to herself that she was attracted to the blonde, Beca tried discreetly to find ever chance to be around the blonde.

"Fine, but I'm going to take a bath first." She called from the bathroom leaving Beca alone in the apartment. With a loud huff, she fell back onto the couch, pulling her laptop out of its bag along with the printout of instructions for her paper.

"How in the hell am I going to document the human condition and gender dysphoria?" she asked to no one in particular. She wished she had been assigned something easier, like drug addiction or teen pregnancy, but she knew her film teacher hated her and wanted to make her life as difficult as possible.

"Ok, I guess I should start with Google…gender dysphoria." She typed into the search engine, waiting as thousands of results popped up instantly. She read through several articles about the topic, including the ever so helpful Wikipedia page. After learning a great deal about what it actually was, she still had no idea of how she was going to depict that in film. Then she had the idea of looking on YouTube and seeing if there were already films about it. She scrolled the page, coming upon a video entitled "Suffering" by TheStrangerThatIsMe.

Clicking on the thumbnail, she put on her headphones as the video loaded. On the screen appeared a little boy with blonde hair, sitting on his bed, the camera facing him.

"Hi everyone, this is the first, and probably my last video that I'll ever make. I'm making it for all those people that made me hate myself including all you assholes at school, my father—my mother. The therapists that said I'm just confused…I'm making this video so that you all know how much you've made me suffer…how much I still suffer. ..I h-hate that I'm only 15…I hate that I've had to deal with this since I was young. And what hurts the most is that being 15 in Georgia, there's nothing I can do about it to stop my dysphoria…what really gets to me the most is that my facial hair is constantly growing and no matter how much I shave it, it still grows back." At this point in the video, the boy began to harshly pull on his facial hair in anger, disgust obvious on his face. Beca looked over at the bathroom to see if Chloe was coming before hitting play on the video once again.

"I also hate how my voice just seems to be getting deeper every day, like my body is trying to spite me…" he looked down from the camera for a few seconds, composing himself and trying not to cry.

"As you can see, I started growing out my hair… of course my dad bitched about it, saying I looked like a fag…but I don't care. I don't even know why I let him convince me to cut it in the first place …but I really needed to get on his good side so that I could convince him to finalize the papers so that I receive the first half of my trust when I turn 18, that way I can finally get top surgery…putting on that suit and that stupid cologne, and that tie…" he explained, his hands going to his neck as if he could feel an imaginary tie choking him.

"I just hate it… but I had to do it because I need that money. I mean, let's be honest here, in order to fight this, to truly fight this dysphoria, you need money. And at 15, I don't have any money, at least none of my own. Another downside to be a young trans-girl is that you're still in school. High school is that time in your life will you will be judged by others the most…like the majority of the most dickhead assholes you'll meet are in high school. Luckily, for me, I get to graduate early. But it still sucks because on a daily basis I'm looked down on by the typical asshole bullies and called 'sissy' or 'fag'. Yeah, I guess bullies add to this dysphoria. And to make it worse, no matter how early I graduate, I still have a long way to go before I get the body I want—I mean, I'm not on hormones, and I still have that constant reminder between my legs. And I'm so far away from top surgery, it's ridiculous. I think the only good thing in my life, uh, transition wise—sorry I'm getting emotional—is the fact that my mom knows, but then again she doesn't even talk to me about it. Instead she sends me straight to therapy" Beca felt herself begin to tear up at seeing him start to cry and shake with emotion.

"I mean, I guess I'm sort of androgynous, and I usually have long hair… but emotionally I get hurt way to easily by this shit… I mean-it fucking hurts. It really does…and it hurts even more when you're constantly reminded of it by everyone in your life. I've been waiting and working my ass off so that I can finally leave these people that have been constantly harassing me and beating me…it's all just finally over…I just wish graduation would just hurry… for all you girls out there that look in the mirror and bitch and moan about not fitting in your size 2 jeans, fuck you! I can't even look in the mirror anymore. I can't even look at myself and see one thing I like about myself and that is so difficult to deal with. The emotional and psychological toll it takes on me and other trans people like me is fucking unreal and none of you have any idea how much it hurts. The reason I'm even making this video because all of you think I'm just confused or acting out or-or a fag or a sissy, I just want you to know how much this shit is hurting me. How much I really hate myself. It's two weeks before graduation and I want you to know that I'm not going to let you keep me from being happy. When school ends I'm leaving this homophobic transphobic town and I'm going to be happy…" he continued to cry, looking everywhere but at the camera, picking at stray yarn in his bed comforter

"I just don't want to continue being hurt by my gender, ya know? I just want to be happy with myself, ya know. To dad, I just want you to know how much you've contributed to my depression. With you whole 'if at first you don't succeed, go home' ideology, it had put an insurmountable pressure on me. To all those out there who don't deal with this, embrace yourself. Don't take your gender for granted because there are people like me out there on the brink of suicide who just want to look in the mirror and see their true selves. …when I look in the mirror I don't want to see a stranger…I just want to see Aubrey." And the video went black.

Looking in shock at her computer screen, Beca shook her head,

'It can't be. There's no way that this Aubrey is the control freak bellas captain that I know."

Before she could ponder it anymore, she heard Chloe returning from the bathroom. Wiping quickly at her eyes, she exited out of her browser.

"Ready to work, Becs?" she asked cheerfully, joining Beca on the couch.

"Huh? Oh yeah."

"Hey, why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying. I just got something in my eye and I couldn't get the damn thing out." she said, trying her hardest to sound believable. Chloe raised an eyebrow at her skeptically before accepting her answer.

"Ok, so what's the topic?"

"Gender dysphoria." She explained, opening her laptop once again.

Chloe stopped, staring at Beca for a few seconds, as if she wanted to say something. However she said nothing and picked up the paper Beca had discarded on the coffee table.

"Ok, so I guess we should start in the brain…"

As Beca stood in the practice room with the other bellas she couldn't help but watch the blonde captain as she danced.

'There's no way she was once a boy, she's way too womanly for that…I mean, look at her. She's beautiful 'she thought, blushing to herself that she allowed herself to actually admit that she found the blonde beautiful.

Ever since the other night where she watched the video of who could have possibly been Aubrey, Beca had been unable to get the blonde out of her mind. The boy in that video was heartbreaking to watch and Beca wanted Aubrey to know if she even for a second still felt the way that little boy did that she would be there for her. However, she was unsure of how she was even going to approach the subject, or if that Aubrey was even the Aubrey she knew.

"Enough ladies, I'm calling it a night." Aubrey announced to the room, earning her a dozen sighs of relief.

As everyone packed up, Beca watched Aubrey out of the corner of her eye as she stood by the seats, drinking from her water bottle. Walking over to the blonde, she fumbled with her hands, as she got closer.

"Hey Aubrey can I ask you a question?"

The blonde looked up from her bag to the DJ, skeptically, "Um, yeah, sure"

"You said you didn't start college right out of high school, and that you spent 2 years in L.A, yet you're the correct age for a senior. Why is that?"

"Oh, I graduated from high school early."

"Really? At what age, like 16?"

"No, 15." Beca tried to maintain a straight face of curiosity before saying okay.

So she did graduate at 15 just like the kid from that video.

"Is that all you wanted to ask?" Aubrey questioned as she pulled her bag over her shoulder.

"Um, yeah, well, no. I'm doing a film on gender dysphoria and I know that you're close friends with the president of the LBGTQ society on campus. Do you think you could ask if I could get an interview with him?"

"Um, yeah I'll try…Gender dysphoria, did you choose that topic?" she asked, uneasiness evident in her facial expression despite her best attempts to hide it.

"Actually my professor assigned it to me, but after reading up on it I'm really looking forward to it. There isn't a lot of information on it as is, I mean there is, but that's the scientific stuff like statistics and stuff. I really want to capture those kids out there struggling to live with a body they felt has betrayed them." She studied Aubrey's face, for a split second seeing her lip tremble before the blonde composed herself. She needed to know if that Aubrey she saw in the video was the woman she saw before her right now and with her next statement she would know for sure.

"I'm actually thinking of naming it The Stranger that is me. What do you think?" and that was all it took for Aubrey's eyes to widen in fear before her hand flew to her mouth and she was running for the nearest bathroom.