YAY! SIRIUSLYCARLISLE IS ACTIVE!
Chapter 2
Carlisle squealed like a girl and ran from the hospital. His pants! Of course! Carlisle had a hereditary illness that's symptoms included forgetting to wear pants. And he was marvelous at goat tracking, for some reason… anyway, he was running down the street, when he was distracted by a pretzel van.
"A pretzel van!" he announced. He skipped over to the pretzel van and ordered 5 sugar dusted pretzels. He was skipping back down the street, chomping on pretzels, when he suddenly remembered… he was allergic to pretzels. And most other human foods. Ok, all other human foods. He broke out in hives, began foaming at the mouth, and was about to go into cardiac arrest- when he spotted a lizard store.
He skipped over to the lingerie store, burst inside and cried
"I'm here to buy me a lizard!"
The store assistant walked over to him nervously.
"Sir… you're not wearing any pants."
"Oh, crap…! Oh well. What kind of lizards do you sell here?"
"Sir- this is a lingerie store. It's… it's quite hard to mistake lizard with lingerie, Dr Cullen…"
"I see!" said Carlisle jovially.
"We sell seductive outfits, underwear and bras…"
"Perfect! I'll take the nurse's outfit for my friend, Sirius, and for me… I'll have a bra- no, three bras, those frilly pajama shorts and… THAT G-STRING!"
"As you wish, sir…" said the sales assistant, giving him the items.
"Don't I have to pay?"
"No, just- just get out," she said urgently, pushing him out the door. Carlisle, not interpreting her correctly, yelled,
"Thanks! I will come back soon!"
AT HOME.
"Esme! I went shopping!"
Esme looked confused.
"Carlisle, honey… aren't you meant to be at work?"
Carlisle thought for a couple of hours, and couldn't come up with any productive answers.
"Did you know, the capital of Antarctica is Paris?"
"No it isn't, Carlisle," said Esme flatly. "You forgot your pants again, didn't you," she asked.
"Maybe… oh well. I'll go back for Edward. I think his girlfriend just had a baby or something like that…"
"Ok, you be back here in an hour."
Carlisle left.
"CARLISLE! YOU FORGOT YOUR PANTS AGAIN!"
"Oh, crap…"