The Troll Rat

By Goa1aso

Asuna fidgeted, glancing around at her surroundings uncomfortably, her white armor standing out in stark contrast with the surrounding dark-clothed players. "Um, what was this event for again?"

"Shhhh, it's disrespectful to the dead," Kirito replied from beside her, his very un-somber-like expression unbefitting of the clothes that he wore. That is, all black as per usual. "This is a funeral for one of the best players who has ever played the game."

"Oh, I guess I should've worn something black then…" Asuna looked back towards the front of the congregation of players uncertainly. "But are you sure that she really is the best person to be giving the speech?"

The familiarly hooded, short figure of the most well-known info broker stood in front of the mass of people, looking ready to begin her speech.

"Yes, her speaking skills are top notch if you haven't noticed. Now listen," The Flash's companion hissed, indicating that the conversation was over.

Argo cleared her throat, the murmurs of the crowd dying down at the sound, and began her speech.

"We all gather here to remember the life of Mr. Jenkins, the bravest and most valiant player I've ever known."

At this, Asuna made an appreciative noise, turning to Kirito.

"You should be more like him."

"Shush, just listen."

She pouted at the uncaring boy, before facing back towards the front where the infamous info-broker continued her speech.

"He was just a regular player, not even a beta tester, but he quickly rose up the ranks and established himself as one of the best. He was an inspiration for all low-level players and clearers alike, and whose legacy will live on forever in our hearts. Rest in peace, you will never be forgotten."

Someone in the mass of players cried out, something that Asuna could barely even tell what was said, before everyone started sobbing.

"Did that person just say… Leeroy Jenkins?"

"Yeah, that was his name. Leeroy Jenkins," the boy beside her replied back tearfully, through a smile.

'Why is he smiling at a funeral? Come to think of it, wasn't that rat grinning widely the whole time?'

Movement near the front of the crowd broke her from her thoughts. She strained her eyes to make out the words on the crudely shaped tombstone being placed down.

Here lies Leeroy Jenkins, the inspiration of all.

His valiant charge into the dungeon while shouting his name will never be forgotten.

Rest in peace.

2022-2023

"At least I had chicken"

Asuna choked herself while trying not to laugh, her hacking and wheezing drawing the ire of the surrounding players.

"You guys are such idiots. Damn it Argo, why are you instigating this?"

The cloaked rat flashed a toothy grin before disappearing into the shadows, unnoticed by the grieving players.