Alderpaw was excited to explore the forest. He knew that the forest was his and his Clanmates' home. ThunderClan had lived in this territory since before anycat could remember. Someday though, the forest would be his and his alone because someday he would be Alderstar!
Alderstar has a nice ring to it. Perhaps that's why his mother named him that. Come on, if you're gonna name your kit you ought to at least think about how it sounds with -star.
For apprentices, the first journey out of camp is special. It's so special that we must describe every single detail of every single leaf and beetle they pass by. Why? Because it totally has everything to do with the plot. All of it.
That tiny pebble resting next to the exposed roots of that oak tree? Yes, very important indeed. See that twig that just fell off that sapling? Totally relevant.
The author was intent on letting us know about every single landmark in the Clan's territory. They only did that because we probably have never read a Warriors book before. I mean, surely we must have never heard of the Sandy Hollow or Fourtrees or Snakerocks before! That's why we're stuck reading a whole chapter about every nook and cranny... because the rest of have never laid our eyes on a Warriors book in our life. Right? At least this all boils down to some new idea...
Nope.
After exploring the territory, Alderpaw was very tired. After all, he is just a small cat whose never walked that much before. Cardio for the win!
He decides to gourge himself on a rabbit. Did Daisypaw share a bite with him? No, she was gnawing carefully at a tiny robin. Did Nightpaw help him wolf down that delectable piece of prey? Naw, he settled down for a dusky mouse.
How was this apprentice allowed to take the best fresh-kill in the fresh-kill pile? According to Clan customs, the elders or queens should have eaten it. The queens had kits to feed. One rabbit would have fed a whole litter. How did Alderpaw do it? No cat cared. Does this have relevance to the plot? Yes, of course. You'll see. You'll all see.
Alderpaw licked his muzzle clean and padded to the apprentice's den. Yeah, he just left the rabbit carcass laying around in the middle of camp. It's not like it's polite to clean up after yourself once you've finished your meal. It's not like Clan cats always bury the remains of their prey in respect for its life and energy.
He entered the den where the other apprentices were already washing up getting ready for sleep.
"Hi, Alderpaw." The oldest apprentice, Puddlepaw, greeted him. "We made up some nests for you and your littermates."
"Thanks." He nodded lamely, choosing one of the new moss nests. Alderpaw sat down and began to lick his fur since his own pale brown tabby-awesomely-handsomely striped pelt was also in need of some grooming.
He glanced up at one of the she-cats. It was Tawnypaw. Her green eyes were watching him like a hawk. She was very beautiful.
He felt his pelt flush with warmth as they locked eyes, but the feeling quickly dissapated.
Alderpaw looked away from her. Then his eyes met with Tawnypaw's sister, Rosepaw. Rosepaw's amber orbs were glittering like the moon. She was also very pretty.
Then he looked over Rainpaw, one of Puddlepaw's sisters. Her blue eyes were dazzling like sunlit water. She was the first to speak. "I love you."
"Wow, thanks." Alderpaw mewed, his shock so genuine we could dedicate a whole chapter to it.
"I also love you." Rosepaw said, blushing furiously. Because, you know, cats blush. Kawaii desu~
Tawnypaw nodded her head slowly and meowed thoughtfully, "To me, you are the sun... you are moon, the stars... and all that other good shit."
Alderpaw was speechless. He had every she-cat apprentice under his paw! How did this tom, barely out of the nursery, make the older apprentices love him like StarClan itself? Pheromones?
However, there was one last she-cat in the den that hadn't declared love for him. Owlpaw. She was a fluffy white cat with icy blue eyes and her heart was just as cold.
"No, he's just a little shit." Owlpaw hissed.
This was the she-cat he was most likely to fall in love with. She was mean to him now, but in a moon's time he'd save her life whilst fighting WindClan by the gorge and she'd treat him like the only cat in the world. That's usually how it goes right? Obviously, she is the sand to the fire, or the squirrel to the bramble, or the crow to the feather.
Alderpaw was confused by Owlpaw's outburst. He had done absolutely nothing to earn her hatred. Then again, he did absolutely nothing to earn the other cats' love.
He ignored her comment and began grooming his pelt. Then he felt the four she-cats crowd up against him. He purred as they shared tongues with him and him alone. What a catsanova!
A/N: So the point of a mockfic is to mock something general. Fanfictions like The Glittering Empress (which is a trollfic) is not a mockfic despite the fact that we've been writing trollfics on purpose and are basically mocking other trollfics. A trollfic like Tom and Tom 2: The Star of Valor would probably be the trollfic closest to a mockfic (but not really).
In this mockfic, I am actually mocking the fandom itself. Because of the way Warriors is set up, you pretty much can take three hundred writers, ask them to write an OC fanficfion, and at least half would be the exact same story... a story about a kit who becomes leader... Sure, some of those fics are really great, but the novelty of that generic path has been worn thin.
Must I say it? I am making fun of all of those "Alderstar's Journey" and the "Alderkit's Prophecy" and the dreaded "Alderkit's Rejection." The fact that the kit is becoming leader is just so obvious, when the authors ask us 'will they ever succeed?' Obviously! Even if they don't as a plot twist...
Hell, I could have just as easily made this mockfic about those tragic mother stories where one kit is rejected in such a way I can't even. I can't even.
It seems like I'm mocking Felled which is my story where I take a kit and make him not the leader or favored by StarClan or by she-cats in general. But really, I'm just parelleling the stories for comparison and because I don't want to make up more OCs. It is nice to see my story twisted in horrible angles though and I'd love to see how I can incorporate this into that.
Something that you could write a mockfic about is, let's say, the Warrior Code has been looser since The New Prophecy Arc. In the old territories and the ancient clans, having a mate in a different Clan was a serious offence. Now you've got Leafpool and Crowfeather, Lionpaw and Heatherpaw, Mousewhisker and Minnowtail, Tigerheart and Dovewing... Before, the very idea that Crookedpaw was fond of Bluepaw absolutely disgusted Mapleshade (though she was a Dark Forest cat). RiverClan and WindClan went to war for Willowbreeze and Graypool. Of course, because of the repetition that these books can create, there is a lot to mock. Sorry, Erin!
Overall, a mockfic is a mix between a generic story or idea mixed with some breaking-of-the-fourth-wall commentary and hollow characters where one or more appear to be a Mary Sue due to the path and logic of the plot.
Patent pending. Meow.