Bella POV.

I walked up to my room and laid on my bed. As much as I was pissed at Edward, a small part of me had hopped that he would have at least said something to me. I would have listened. But he just sat there. He didn't even look at me. Is it over between us? Why oh why did I have to open my mouth and say all those things?

I gasped and sat up when my rocking chair made a noise. I rubbed my eyes and blinked at Jasper who sat in the rocking chair looking at me. "I knocked on the window but you apperantly didn't hear me. Sorry for startelin' you."

I sat at the head of my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I shook my head. "It's fine Jasper."

He looked at me and shook his head. "It's not fine Bella. I can feel the sadness. The hurt. I can feel everything from you. Don't try to hide it from me."

I gave him a weak smile. Jasper was the caring older brother that I never had. Emmett was the prankster. "I'm sorry Jazz. I never ment for you to feel all of this."

He smirked. "If it makes you feel better I channeled some of that to Edward so he knows what you are feeling." That actually did help alittle. He got up and leaned against the window, looking out. "Bells, you are my sister and I hate seeing you upset. everyone hates seeing you upset. You are the baby of the family, the most treasured. Next to Edward. He is the youngest of us but he is the oldest vampire beside me and Carlisle. We all respect him and love him. He has been the loner out of us. When we all paired off he has been the seventh wheel. He can hear everything we think. Everytime one of us think of our mate or have an improper thought, he hears it.

"Now I am not defending him to you. Far from it. But I want you to listen and maybe you will understand his actions some. You and Edward are mates. No doubt there. But male vampires are extreamly protective of their mates. We do anything to protect them. The day that you arrived Edward instantly knew you were his mate. Alice saw him leaving us for a period because you were there.

"We had to deal without our brother for five days. When he got home he explained everything. We were all happy because after ninety years he finally found somebody. When he saved you from Tyler's truck we were shocked. We knew that you were his mate. But the fact that you could have been taken from him because of a van... We realised that you were a fragile human that could die at anytime. None of us, including Rosalie, want to deal with a depressed brother for the rest of our exsistance."

I watched as he sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at me and I saw the anguish in his eyes. "Bella you have to understand. We vampires only get one mate. One chance to be happy. When we mate it is for life. We never move on if something happens to our mate. We slip into a depressed state and we beg for death because living without our mate hurts too much. We can not move without our body protesting every move. When Edward thought you were dead, he felt that. He went to the Volturi and begged for death."

He reached forward and wipped a tear from my face. "When you saved him, the whole family rejoiced. Our brother was safe. Our sister was back. We packed up and moved back. That was the fastest we had ever moved.

"Edward may see himself as a monster but we all know better. Yes we may be different but I have seen true monsters out there. He is nothing like them. Hell, if anyone was a monster it would be me considering I have killed more humans then he has been alive. I have turned humans into newborns because I was instructed. My life was darkness until I met Alice. She showed up one day and together we headed toward Carlisle."

He looked at me and sighed. "I might be confusing you here, but the main point is this, keep fighting to be one of us Isabella Swan. You are one of us weather human or Vampire. Edward thinks you don't know what you want but I can feel your detemination. Try to get that point across to him Bella. Please. I know I am being selfish here but...we don't want to lose him."

I couldn't speak. I looked out the window and let the tears fall down silently. I felt him get off the bed and kneel in front of me. "Bella?"

I lost it. I let out a shuddering breath and the tears started flying again. Japer pulled me into his arms and rocked me.

"Why...why is he so stubborn?" I whispered as I clung to him.

I felt him chuckle. "Emotionally stunted. And if you count the time he lived in, it was an era when the man took care of the woman and woman was seen as the weaker sex. The men provided for them and protected them. Aperantly he missed the Womens Rights movement."

I couldn't help but chuckle. He pulled me closer. "The women of that time shopped, cooked and cleaned. You confuse him because you don't want a human life. You don't like to shop. You don't like to have parties, understandable. I don't like them either. You don't act like a normal woman. You dress as a tomboy. And you are very independant. Keep showing him that this is the 21st century and not the early 20th. Just give him time sis. I think he will come around." He got off the bed and sat me down.

"I have to go. I can feel Edwards distress all this way." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Do you want to come back to our house or do you want to stay here?"

I burrowed further into my blankets and he smirked. "Here then. Do you want me to convice him to come back tonight or wait till tomorrow?"

I really wanted him tonight but I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to him peacefully tonight. "Tomorrow?"

"I'll send him over around nine. That way Charlie will be at work and you two can hash it out. Alice has promised to not peek in at all. Sleep well little Bell."

I smiled at him and watched as he jumped out the window. I glanced at my alarm clock and sighed. It was near 11pm. I got up, took a shower, and crawled into bed. I felt a little better after the shower. I tried to sleep but sleep didn't come until two seventeen am.

The next day I woke up to Charlie peeking in on me around Seven am. He saw I was awake and smiled at me. "How are you feeling Bells?"

Is that a trick question. "Like crap."

"Do you want me to stay with you today?"

I sat up in bed and shook my head. "No need dad. Edward sent me a text and asked to meet me this morning around nine. We are meeting here."

Charlie's eyes darkend. "I don't want you two alone."

"Dad. I am eighteen. I know Edward is my life. This conversation will either strengthen us or break us. None of us can survive being broken again dad. I want to make this work."

He sighed and nodded. "Okay Bells. I trust you." I smiled at him. "Thanks dad."

He kissed my forhead and said goodbye. "I'll be home around six tonight."

"I'll have dinner ready for you."

I got out of bed around eight fifteen. I got dressed in a pair of black pants and a dark purple tank top. I ran to Charlie's room and grabbed a black plaid button up over shirt.

I ate a light breakfast. Didn't feel like I could stomach much more then a piece of toast and glass of apple juice. I had just finished washing the dishes when the doorbell rang. I sighed. "Time to face the music Bells."

I walked to the door and opened it. On the other side was a nervous looking vampire called Edward. I stepped aside and motioned for him to enter. I closed the door behind him and then watched as he slowly walked to the couch and sat down on it.

My heart broke as I saw him sigh in defeat and look up at me with pleading eyes. How I wanted to kiss him. I walked over to him and sat down next to him. He moved away from me to the edge of the couch. I sighed, turned to face him and pulled my knees up to my chest. "Hello Edward."

He looked at me and nodded.

"Well gee, I just flashed back to that Biology class where you only nodded to me that one time then ignore me the folowing month. I ain't going to let you ignore me Edward."

"What do you want from me Bella?" He sounds tired. Exhausted.

"'Want'? I want you Edward. I want a partnership where we both are equal not where I am the weakling. I want to be with you for the rest of eternity. I want to be a part of your world. A part of your family. 'What do I want?' I want to be with you if you are stuggeling. I want to be with you Edward."

He looked at the wall and was silent for a few minutes. "So... you want to be like me? That's what you dream about? Becoming a monster like me?"

How I want to smack him! "How many times do I have to say you are not a monster. But if you think you are one, then I want to be one with you."

He turned and stared at me. "Why!?"

"I want to be with you. But everytime I bring it up you ignore it or you get pissed or you change the subject and distract me."

"I don't want you to be like me Bella. I never will. I know the consiquences of your choice. I wouldn't wish it on anybody."

That stung. He turned away and stared at the wall again. "Stop ignoring me Edward damnit!" He glared at me. "Stop being childish then. I will not change you."

I shrunk back from him. All the dreams I had had of us running through the forest together, of us hunting together... They went kaput. My phone ringing broke the silance but I didn't move to pick it up. Edward stared off into space then chuckled. "Finally a vision I like. You staying human."

I screamed and tackled him. His eyes widened. "YOU ASSHOLE! I DON'T WANT TO BE FUCKING HUMAN! I DON'T WANT TO BE OLDER THEN YOU! HELL, 18 IS TOO OLD FOR ME. IT'S ONE YEAR OLDER THEN YOU! I AM NOT A WOMAN WHO NEEDS YOU TO PROTECT ME! I CAN MAKE MY OWN DAMN DECISIONS! I WILL NEVER CHOSE ANOTHER MALE EDWARD. MY HEART WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO YOU! STOP TEARING IT TO SHREDS BY MOCKING MY DECISIONS!" I shoved off of him and paced the room angrily. "From the begining, it was always you. Do you think I want to live without my mate Edward. Do you think I want to know that I can't be with you because I am fucking human. Do you think I will always be satisfied by chaste kisses? By not ever having you as a man and woman can be together? Edward it pisses me off everytime you kiss me with passion but I can't kiss you anytime I want to like that. It is always you that instegates the kisses. I get chastised everytime I try to deepen those kisses. It fucking pisses me off. I want to be able to touch you without you worrying about hurting me."

I stopped and stared at his eyes that were wide.

"You want me to marry you but I know that we won't have a real honeymoon because you won't take that risk. I'd have to wait a damn year and after I am changed before you will even touch me. I don't want that. I want to be mated to you."

I sat down in the chair and sighed. "My dreams are always about spending eternity with you. But if you refuse to change me, then I would only spend my human life with you. If I marry you what guarentee will I have that you will change me within that year and not try to bargin for another five years. Or three years."

Edward looked away and I saw his jaw tense.

Dread filled me. "You... Absolutly rufuse to change me don't you?"

He nodded his head. Tears threatened to spill. I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I spalshed cold water on my face. I started when I felt his arms wrap around me. Not now.

"Leave me alone Edward. Please." I said in a devestated voice. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. I felt him place his finger under my chin and forced it up. I jerked out of his grip. "You can't have it both ways Edward."

I felt him losen his hold on me and I moved away.

"Why Bella?"

I looked at him. "Why what?"

He moved to stand infront of me. "Why do you want to be like me so badly? That you won't wait three years?"

Seriously? I groaned in annoyance. I hopped on the countertop and placed my head in my hands. "I want you Edward. All of you. And that includes you as a vampire. I want the vampire that protected me from James. That came to my rescue when I was tortured by James. The vampire that sucked the venom out of my system. The vampire that saves me when I fall or stumble. The vampire that saves me whenever I am in trouble. The vampire is a side of you and I accept it. Do you?"

He didn't look at me.

"Carlisle said that you don't like this life. You sometimes give off the vibe that you never wanted this life. If Carlisle had not turned you, you would be dead, we never would have met at school, you never would have saved me from being squished. I would be rotting in a grave right now."

I saw understanding dawn in his eyes. "Creepy now you think of it huh?" He nodded slowly. I sighed feeling drained suddenly.

I looked up when he stepped up to me. I couldn't stop my heart from racing. He gave me a little smirk.

"Not a word. I can't help my heart racing when you are near me. Stop dazzeling me."

He chuckled and placed his arms on either side of me on the countertop as he stepped between my legs. I stared at him. "W...what are you doing Edward?" He just smiled at leaned forward. His lips stopped milimeters from mine. "Dazzeling you."

His lips connected to my cheek as I turned my head. He sighed and laid his head in the crook of my neck. "Fine Bella. I'll change you. But only if you marry me first. That is my only condition."

"And you won't change it?"

"I really wish you would change your mind and go to collage. At least for a year."

"Not worth the risk. I will go when I have my thirst under control."

"I want you to have every human experiance Bella. College is a human experiance."

"Edward. Shut up." I smiled at his shocked look. "How many times do I have to tell you? I just need you. Nothing else matters to me. And also, FYI, being human sucks for me."

I wrapped my arm around his neck and burried my head in the crook of his neck. I smiled when I felt him shudder when my breath touched his neck. I gave it a quick kiss and pulled away.

"Bella..." he growled. I looked at him and was shocked to see his eyes were black.

Well, this is interesting. I knew he wasn't hungry. He just hunted last night.

"Your eyes are black."

"Because you kissed my neck. Never do that to me love." he kissed my cheek. "I only have so much control."

I laughed as I hugged him tightly. "Are you finally admitting to having control issues?"

He pulled back and placed his hands on my waist. "Deffinte control issues. But that is a different discussion for another day." He leaned forward and kissed my neck. I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine. He smirked and did it again.

"Stop...Stop dazzeling me." My vision was going hazy.

He chuckled. He leaned forth and kissed the tip of my nose. I couldn't resist, I liffted my head. I wanted a damn kiss. As if he could finally read my mind he leaned forwad and finally placed his lips against mine. Aww...sweet heaven.

I dug my hands in his hair and pulled him closer. He smirked against my lips and then did something comepleatly different. He nibbled on my bottom lip before sucking it between his lip. Oh man... that feels goooooood.

I felt him smirk against my lips before he pulled back. I think I just whimpered. He chuckled and kissed my nose before he pulled back. I took a much needed breath and opened my eyes. He was smiling at me. Oh be still my beating heart.

"Okay Bella. I agree to change you, yes. But like I said, you have to marry me first." Damn marriage.

I sighed and looked at him. "Edward, I want to be with you forever. Marriage doesn't cover forever. It covers 'till death do us part', 'For as long as we both shall live.' And techinally you are already dead... I don't want that. I want forever with you. You are my mate. You are it for me. And also the fact that marriage was the kiss of death for my parents..." I shrugged and gave him a half smile.

He sighed and jumped up onto he countertop next to me. "Where I come from, marriage is the way one says 'I love you.'"

"You mean 'when'. Marriage was more sacred then. There weren't so many divorces then. Divorce was looked down on a lot more then than today. Most marriges end in divorce because they fall out of love or because one cheats on the other. In mind marrige is nothing but a piece of paper A contract that can be broken at anytime."

I looked at him and took one of his hand in mine before continuing. "Jasper said that Vampires mate for life. That you don't get another one. He said that mates cannot live without the other. I don't need a piece of paper that tells me I am yours. I would prefer to live as your mate instead of as your wife."

Edward didn't speak. He just looked straight ahead at the wall. I thought he was angry at me at first then I saw a small smirk cross his lips. He squeezed my hand and spoke up.

"Okay. I hear you Bella. How about this, since I am an old fashioned guy. Do you think that you can marry me one time and not every few years like Rosalie and Emmet? I only ask for one wedding. You will only have to be my wife until I change you. Then you will be my mate." He chuckled at me, "You do know that being a vampire's mate means you wear their mark? They will bite you in the place of your choosing and it will forever leave mark. It will tell other vampires that you are mine and to back the hell away."

I actually did not know that. That's food for thought. Though...the thought of Edward being able to bite me... Oh crap...he's looking at me funny.

"Bella? What are you thinking of?" Is it just me or does his voice sound husky...

"Bella... you are starting to smell delicious. And it isn't you blood..." Oh God...he can smell my... Damn.

"Um...I was thinking that I would very much enjoy you bitting me." Oh...his eyes just went from amber to onyx.

He swallowed and said, "Bella... you still havent answered my question..."

Hmm... I wonder... "Okay...I'll marry you one time. And one time only. Though..." Edward beamed and crashed his lips against mine. I gasped in shock and he burried his fingers in my hair as he thrust his tongue into my mouth...Oh God... His cold tongue feels amazing rubbing against mine.

All too soon he pulls back. Just an inch. We both are breathing heavy. "What... else Bella? Anything...you...want." He gave me a light kiss.

Please wait a moment while the human recouperates. After a minute I finally was able to breath steadily and my heartrate was back to normal. I looked at him and then remembered what I was going to say. "Do we have to have a big wedding?"

Edward threw his head back and laughed loudly. He pulled me off the counter top and spun me around in a circle. "Beautiful, I would drag you to Las Vegas right now if that is what you want."

I smiled. "How fast can we get there?"

Edward chuckled and ran to get a peice of paper and pen. He quickly wrote on it and then dragged me outside. I stopped when I saw a motercycle outside. It was black and sleek looking.

He pulled two helmets off the handelbars and handed one to me. "Yes it's mine. I just haven't driven it in two years." He helped me put the helmet on. He got one and I got one behind him. He was about to turn the engine over when his phone rang. He ignored it and looked at me.

"You ready to go to Vegas, get hitched, and piss Alice off? I am." Damn sexy vampire smirk. I love it.

I smiled and said, "I am ready to be Mrs. Edward Cullen. Now start this bike up before Alice chases us."

I felt him chuckle and then we were off.