Caught in the monkey jar: Blackbeard Interludes
Love is a battlefield… (Pat Benetar)
"Take Charlie swimming….you promised you'd take him."
"Not today I don't feel like it."
"You need to get off the couch Jack. That bad cold and cough went ages ago."
"I don't want to go - alright."
"But he wants you to take him. You love swimming, he'd be better with you."
"No!"
"Why?"
"Because."
"What?"
"You take him."
"But..."
"NO! I don't care. I'm not going. That's final." And he walked out of the house.
Sara was torn between anger and tears. Shit. She'd messed that one up. Too soon. She realised. What was she going to tell Charlie? Of course he wouldn't go swimming, you idiot, she berated herself, he doesn't even undress in front of you. He's not going to go around half naked in swim shorts for Charlie. If he didn't want to show his scars she couldn't make him. Not when he couldn't even acknowledge them to himself.
Sure he'd been ill after the storm and standing out in the rain. But it had taken longer than expected for him to recover and had left him lethargic and maybe a little depressed. He didn't seem to want to do anything. He'd sit in the garden but not look after it as he used to. He'd been looking forward to helping teach Charlie to swim; now he seemed reluctant. He'd go for physio at the hospital but had refused or ignored any attempts by other friends for light games of street hockey. Normally (ha, she laughed at herself) he'd jump at the chance. He drifted.
Military hospital
"You seem angry today Major. Things okay at home?"
"Fine."
"How's Sara?"
"She's fine."
"And your son Charlie?"
"Look, he's fine too-can you leave them out of this?"
"Does Sara take Charlie swimming now?"
"Yes."
"You know it would be good for you as well, in addition to your therapies here."
"Well it ain't gonna happen doc."
"Why not?"
"You know damn well why…sir."
"But the water is chlorinated. It's a swimming pool Major, not a hose or a bucket or sink full of water. It won't taste the same. No one is going to force you to drink it or try and drown you. We've been through this before."
"Easy for you to say. What if I lost it? Not with my son…I can't…Sara would…."
"But you manage water therapy as part of your PT."
"That's different and you know it."
"Look- you'd be in the toddler pool with your son. You'd be quite safe. You'd be in control."
"You don't know that. What if…"
"Life is full of what if's. It's how you deal with them that matters."
"And we know how well I'm dealing…I'll just leave it till I'm feeling better…"
"Better than what? Are you feeling bad, Major O'Neill?"
"Major O'Neill, please answer the question."
The door slammed shut and the doctor opened the patient's file, jotting down notes on the session concluding (not for the first time) with the words- patient terminated session.