The Lesson
"Jana, Whyyy are you dragging me to this?"
"It's for a good cause! Look alive!"
Naz huffed out loudly as she was tugged by the hand. Jana, speed walking – the only way she usually moved – hauled her along to the pool. Sue was keeping pace, although she was more philanthropic by nature and had instantly agreed to taking lessons at the local swimming club on campus. It was a five week programme and the proceeds from the enrollment fees were all going to charitable pursuits.
"I already know how to swim!" Naz continued.
"We all do," Sue interjected with her usual levelheaded calm. "That's not the point. It's about partaking in events, the spirit of giving back-"
"I paid the money!"
"Oh shut it, Naz," Jana said, no bite in her words. A large, slow grin spread across her face. "Besides, I have a surprise for you – for both of you."
They entered the pool area and deposited their belongings on the benches. The place was packed. Sue and Naz both groaned.
"Dammit Jana, you know I hate your surprises."
"We," Sue clarified. "We hate your surprises."
"Wow, you'd think it was happy hour by the number of bodies here," Jana commented as she looked around, ignoring both their comments. "Makes sense though," she said with a wicked grin.
"How?" Naz asked, shimmying out of her pants. She already had her swimming costume on beneath. "When the swim team goes up against their biggest competition they can't draw a third of this crowd."
There were students in the stands around the swimming area, packed in like sardines – all female by the looks of it. Like them, there were a select few who where already in their bathing costumes ready for instruction.
"Are all these people watching us take lessons?" Sue sounded a little nervous. "This might guarantee I do something silly… like drown."
Jana rolled her eyes. "You know how to swim. Besides, there was only space for twenty. The things I had to do to get us signed up," Jana mused then turned to face her friends. "You're wearing that?" she asked first Sue, then Naz, frowning at both of them.
"Its our bathing suits. You've seen it before." They both wore their standard one-piece black swimming costumes.
"I told you both to wear something… you know… sexy!" Jana hissed.
"This is a charitable event on campus! We're not on Laguna beach! Why the hell would I want to look sexy?!" Naz hissed back. Sue however, used to Jana's hijinks, calmly sat down in her black costume and began applying her sunscreen.
A ripple of excitement rushed through the crowd and Jana whipped around. Down below, someone had arrived.
"Oh dear God," Naz stuttered. "What's Professor Wisdom doing here? Don't tell me he's enrolled too?" Sue, sunscreen forgotten as she bounced to her feet, her hand practically branding Jana's arm with its vicelike grip.
"Come on girls," Jana called, already moving towards the pool area. "The swim coach has arrived."
"WHAT?" Naz and Sue's combined shriek echoed around the entire area and Professor Wisdom looked up, his brow already raised with disapproval.
"Sorry," Naz mouthed silently in his direction. His expression did not change. "How is this a thing?" she whispered as she took off after Jana. It now made sense why her friend was dressed in a bright pink bikini.
"Surprise! Isn't this delicious?"
"Delicious?!" Sue and Naz shrieked again. This time however, it was in a softer tone – but barely.
They lined up beside the pool and Jana whispered to them, all excitement. "The Professor had been a pro swimmer in his former years and as all faculty members had to choose a charitable activity to sponsor, he chose to coach swimming."
"And you thought it was a great idea to have him coach us?" Sue squeaked. "Did it occur to you that I would rather watch?!"
Naz rolled her eyes. "What happened to partaking in events and the spirit of giving back?"
"Shut it Naz," Sue said. At that, all three women began giggling.
"Oi, you three!" They swallowed their giggles and straightened their spines. Professor Wisdom was looking directly at them. Dressed in red shorts and a white, fitted t-shirt, he looked more Baywatch Babe than Poetry Professor. Both turned out to be a heady combination.
"Yes, Professor?" Jana queried.
"We're here to learn. This is not an opportunity to catch up on erroneous gossip. Understood?"
"Perfectly," Sue piped up before anyone else could respond.
"Pet," Jana growled.
"Right, in the pool everyone."
"I now understand why the bleachers are filled and why they are all with women!" Naz said as she slipped into the water. "Oh! That's cold."
"I see Kim made the cut too," Sue said as she slipped in beside them, bobbing up and down to generate heat. In the skimpiest costume known to man, the English major elegantly jumped into the pool.
"How did she manage to not make even the teeniest splash?"
"She's clearly not a clutz!"
"Hussy!" Naz whispered, outraged.
Jana looked over at Naz with a frown. "What?"
"Kim! Look at her! She's… she's…"
"…looking hot in an actual bathing costume? Which is why I warned you to wear something sexy! Instead… you're all fraulein maria!"
"Urm guys, you might want to pay attention to what's happening…" Sue said. Naz and Jana turned and lost all train of lucid thought. Professor Wisdom was removing his white t-shirt, his arms crossing his front as he swiftly removed the garment. If anyone was looking at them, they might have noticed that their lips were moving, much like a fish would do when deprived of oxygen. But no one was looking. All eyes were focused on Professor Wisdom. His build was lean but muscular, his shoulders broad as his waist tapered to narrow hips. His abdominal muscles were lightly defined, his chest hairless.
"I think I swallowed my tongue," Naz garbled out unintelligibly.
"You're still speaking," Sue said distractedly. "Your tongue's still in there."
"How in the blazing hell does a poetry Professor get abs like that? I could bake my eggs on them, they're so hot!" Jana growled low.
"I can't watch!" Jana and Naz quickly looked over at Sue. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her lips between her teeth. She looked in the grips of some kind of rapturous pain. When they turned back, they realized why. Their eyes widened as they watched him apply liberal amounts of sunscreen to his torso, his neck, his arms and finally, he bent to apply some to his legs. At this point, the temperature in the pool had likely spiked because of their collective body heat.
"Is this happening in slo mo for anyone else?" Jana whispered. "Because it's happening in slo mo for me…"
"Need some help Professor?" The shout came from an anonymous in the crowd and broke the spell. Professor Wisdom continued as if he hadn't heard a thing. He bent down and retrieved his towel and a pair of aviators.
"Jesus fuc-"
"Jana!"
"He's wearing aviators. His hot-o-meter just shot into frikken infinity. A Goddddd," she hissed. "The man is a God with the geek chic Professor specs-" she used her hands and gesticulated towards her face wildly, "and now Baywatch Babe with aviators. Does he not have a care for my damned ovaries?"
"Clearly not," said Naz, swallowing hard, her tone droll. "My ovaries no longer exist. They exploded the minute he removed his t-shirt and I discovered his chest was hairless."
"Everyone line up please. Along the side of the pool." His voice carried, his accent more pronounced as he coolly surveyed the eager-to-please queue of mostly bikini-clad students. "I'm assuming you all already know how to swim as that was one of the criteria to be selected for this programme." He raised a brow, daring anyone to admit they didn't know how to swim. No one dared. "Right, with your hands lightly holding onto the side, straighten out and kick. I aim to observe your form."
"By form he means-"
"Technique," Sue said as she lined up beside Jana.
"Just checking."
For the next few minutes they all attended to the business of straightening their arms, their backs, kicking gently (not like a horse about to gallop into bloody battle, according to one of the Professor's instructions) and practicing the correct breathing technique. When they finally straightened, Professor Wisdom removed the towel from around his neck and snapped it open, the sound echoing across the area as he lay it across the warm tiles to heat.
"Is he getting into the water now?" Sue asked. She was pinching her eyes closed again. "I don't think that would be legal."
"Did you see that wrist action?" Naz mused, her eyes narrowed with concentration.
"Yasssss," Jana's hissing was back. "The man's a natural with accouterments…"
"Spread out. On your backs. I want to see you float. Straight lines." Professor Wisdom paced along the side of the pool, his hands clasped lightly behind his back, the sun glinting off skin slicked by his sunscreen.
"I don't think the way he meant that is the way my mind received it," Jana said as she flipped onto her back and began floating towards the opposite end of the pool.
"Gentility ladies! You're not elephants at a watering hole."
All three friends choked on some water as they stifled their laughter. He was on his best form. They practiced freestyle in relay teams and finally he called, "breaststroke".
"My body is ready," Jana muttered.
"Dirty. My mind is depraved and I need therapy. He says anything and it sounds like some dark, delicious-"
"Miss Spores, what are you doing?" Naz's words were cut short when Professor Wisdom frowned at Kim.
"Breaststroke," Kim replied, straightening at the shallow end and wiping the water from her face.
"Definitely a stroke, Miss Spores, but not of the breast variety." A ripple of choked laughter rose but was instantly silenced by his cool gaze. "Anyone care to demonstrate?" Silence. "Very well then…"
Without warning, he removed his sunglasses and jumped into the pool. There were a few wild shrieks from the ladies in the pool – more like bewildered excitement. When he emerged from the water, he quickly shook his head, his greying hair standing on end. There was no man – ever – who looked more attractive in that moment.
Sue physically gripped the end of the pool behind her. Her lips were moving again, her throat constricting painfully with her ability to swallow only lungful's of air.
"Miss Spores, if you please..?" Kim waded closer, her cheeks rosy but her eagerness unmistakable. He stretched out his arms and signaled for her to lie across them. His arms held her up. The swimmers gathered around, forming a semi-circle around the now wet Professor.
"Jesus fu-"
"Jana!" Naz and Sue whispered simultaneously.
"How do I listen to a damned thing when his hair is standing at those sexy angles?" she moaned.
"The breaststroke starts with the swimmer lying in the water face down, arms extended straight forward and legs extended straight to the back." Kim lay across the Professor's forearms, her legs and arms extended. "There are three steps to the arm movement - outsweep, insweep, and recovery."
"Nope. Still sounding dirty," Naz said as she side-eyed her companions.
"His arms are right under her boobs!" Sue said, scandalized.
"Lucky boobs," Jana smirked.
"The leg movement, colloquially known as the "frog kick" or "whip kick", consists of two phases - bringing the feet into position for the thrust phase and the insweep phase."
Naz choked, exasperated. "The thrust phase? How is this a swimming instruction? Its porn!"
Kim was beaming, aglow at being suspended across the Professor's arms. Twenty minutes later, the lesson was over. The three hung back and watched Professor Wisdom shrug back into his t-shirt and leave the pool area. All three sighed at the same time.
"Poetry Professor or Baywatch Babe?" Jana asked.
Sue was the first to respond. "Poetry Professor. Honestly, wet Professor Wisdom is too much, even for me."
"Naz?" Jana queried.
"Both versions seem to inspire one thing with me."
"What? Lust?" Jana laughed out loud.
Naz ignored her, trying to control her own smile. "By the way, anyone notice the mole above his left shoulder blade?"
"Oh my god! I thought I was the only one!" Jana shrieked in excitement. They laughed. Eventually, she probed again, "so?"
Naz thought for a moment then grinned. Together, she and Jana shouted, "Baywatch Professor!"
a/n: for the absolutely spectacular women on twitter. you know who you are #FangirlSchoolForever