The End of the Beginning
Part 1, Ch. 2
2 Years Earlier
Culver University
Willowdale, Virginia
"She's really pretty, Bruce."
Rick was at it again. It had been a week of this and I didn't think I could take any more as I breathed heavily and shook my head. He wasn't going to give up. I strolled slowly over to my desk trying to give myself time to think of something to explain to him again why I wasn't interested. Our scheduled lab session had ended three hours ago but we had been too busy with our respected projects to have noticed.
"Let it go, Rick," I said cautiously as I shrugged off my lab coat.
"I'm not asking you to marry her. And you won't be alone."
"That makes it less awkward," I said as I rolled my eyes and slung my lab coat over the back of my chair. At catching the look in his eyes as he crossed his arms and pleaded with me, I knew I was going to break. I could feel it. "Why are you asking me anyway? She's your best friend; don't you think that setting her up with me is…" Dangerous to our friendship? Irrational thinking on your part?…"Compromising?"
Rick wrinkled his face in confusion. "Compromising? She's going back to Arizona in a week. How could anything that happens in a week be compromising?" When I still didn't answer, he let out a frustrated sigh and said, "You're both single and I think you two will hit it off. You need to get laid, my friend."
Five months without a date and he was setting me up, with his childhood best friend no less. I wasn't the only one who apparently thought I was pathetic. Or maybe he thought I was desperate…And honestly, despite Rick being my best friend, I didn't want him to know that maybe I was. As we fell in-step to head to the doors, I asked a little too sarcastically, "Is she a Wildcat's fan too?"
"Yes. Bruce," Rick was saying as we rounded the corner, "you only have to have dinner with us one night."
I swiped my ID badge to unlock the air-locked doors that secured the labs from the rest of the building and waited for them to open. Sometimes the damn things got stuck. "So, you want me to accompany her on your date with your girlfriend, so she won't feel like the third wheel."
"Exactly," Rick said with a smile as he slapped him on his back. "You're starting to understand this absurd concept called social interaction. Only took you thirty-four years."
The doors finally opened and we were able to leave. After scanning my ID badge through several more locked doors, we reached the main corridor that lead out of the building. No longer needing my glasses to see, I took them off and stuffed them into my inside suit jacket pocket. It took the entire walk across the quad and to the parking lot across the street for me to make up my mind. I was a single man and she would only be in the city for a week; the only reason she was coming was for a guest lecture on the advances in the field of Psychology. It wasn't like I was being set up on a blind date with hopes of a lasting relationship. All this had to be was just a few nights out with my best friend's friend.
I still couldn't believe that Rick was asking me of all people. Looking up at him, because he was taller, I asked once again to try and get him to see the lines what we would be crossing in our personal friendship if I agreed. "And you don't think it's compromising? She's your longtime best friend. You've known her since you were kids in Arizona. She's your age."
Rick glared down into my eyes as he stopped me in my tracks with a hand to my chest. In his eyes was his signature look of 'I'm through asking, it's either yes or no so make up your mind, moron'. I hated that look. "Yes, she's my age. What's the big deal, we're only eight years apart."
"Only?"
"You're afraid aren't you? You think that you'll end up falling in love with her or something?"
Wait, what? At that remake I felt my blood rush from my face. He had it all wrong. I wasn't afraid of the friend. I was afraid of being on a double date with her, period. I was afraid of feeling intimidated by the woman. And I was afraid that she would see what I've been denying myself for years now; that I was absolutely, and terrifyingly, gay. "No, it's, just…Why me?"
Rick shrugged as he started toward his car. "Why not? You're a great guy."
"Whatever you say, Millhouse." Rick shoved me and I laughed as I caught my balance. "Hey, I'm not the one who named you after Nixon."
Rick didn't laugh as he stared right at me and said, "Why do you do that? Take whatever compliment you get and dismiss it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the older, mature one in this friendship."
That nearly did it. A burning pain set in my chest and gut and I could no longer look at my best friend.
"Hey," Rick said as he grabbed my shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. "I mean it, Bruce." I tried to shrug the hand away but he kept a firm hold; if I was truly being honest with myself I'd kept that warm hand there forever. "You are a great guy. I may be your only friend, but I know you and I know that you won't hurt Rachael."
"Rachael? That's her name?"
He gave a nod as he finally dropped his hand. "And, if she doesn't want anything more than a nice guy to dance with while we're out, I know that you won't try to take advantage." Rick turned and walked the last remaining steps to his car. "You're coming out with us tomorrow night Bruce, whether you like it or not." He stopped and turned, staring me down like I was suddenly not Bruce Banner but a specimen in one of his jars.
I smirked. He was so fucking cute when he thought he was putting his foot down with me. Shaking my head, I quickly got that thought out of it. I wasn't in love love with Rick, I just couldn't help but notice the man's incredibly good looks from time to time. He was a little over six feet tall with short brownish red hair, blue eyes, and he had a slight lisp when he talked. It was adorable.
"And if we do end up back at my place," I teased, but it was a serious question. I wasn't planning on having sex with Rachael, but I hadn't planned on having sex with the last girl I attempted an ill-fated relationship with either.
Rick smirked right back and said, "Then you better be good because she tells me everything."
She did what?! No, no way that I can…Rick was laughing. Why is he laugh-…Oh, he was good. Rick could always beat me in a jabbing battle. His comebacks were quicker than mine. I had a problem thinking up witty remarks that didn't have a way of also being self-depriving, while Rick, on the other hand, was the Jedi master of sarcasm.
"I'm kidding. Breathe, Bruce. It's fine with me if you two were to hit it off. It might do you some good, and lord knows she needs to get laid too."
My jaw nearly dropped at that admission. Damn it! Rick did it again and I was the one left struggling to come up with something to say and couldn't. I wanted to bow out, throw in the preverbal towel, and take my ass kicking. And I did because all I could manage after that was a shake of my head as I closed my eyes, trying to ease the uncomfortable and depressing feeling that engulfed my body.
It was depressing because I was actually considering doing it for the same exact reason he just whooped my ass. I wanted, and needed, to have sex and self-satisfaction didn't count. I was longing for the company of someone. I had only hoped that my next someone was going to be of the same sex.
"Just think about it, please? She's arriving tomorrow."
Tomorrow was Saturday and it would be nice to actually enjoy a weekend that didn't involve work. I felt the sigh escape my tight throat and looked hard into his anticipating eyes. Damn it to hell. "I'll think about it," that was as good as a 'yes' coming from me and Rick knew it. I went to turn but suddenly held back and confirmed, "It's only for this one week?"
Rick smiled wide and nodded. "Thank you."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giving him a half-hearted wave, I felt my chest tighten at that spark in his eyes. Turning away from that look, I continued toward the street.
"I can give you a lift," Rick called out. I threw up my hand in a wave again as I kept walking.
The thought of getting a lift from Rick had been contemplated for a second and that was when he informed me again about his childhood friend coming into town. Yeah, right. I immediately abandoned the idea because being stuck in a car with him as he went on-and-on about Rachael for twenty minutes-depending on traffic-was not my idea of winding down after a long day. The only reason we usually rode together after work was if I wanted to go over ideas or theories for our projects. Tonight I just wanted to walk, to think while I walked, and to have a couple of drinks once I got tired of both thinking and walking.
Before I realized it the tall buildings that consisted of the campus were gone replaced with the neighboring businesses, frat houses, and four-story apartment buildings that made up the small Virginia college town. I rounded the corner and started down the street that all the students referred to as 'The Village', passing bars, restaurants, and various coffee shops. As I made my way down the sidewalk, I thought I heard someone coming up behind. Turning to look, no one was there. Shaking off the feeling that I was being followed, I continued to the next stop light. In the distance were the greyish green ridges of the mountains that surrounded the area and I stared at them until the light turned. As soon as I stepped off the curb, I spotted a Campus Security Officer I knew and gave him a slight head nod in acknowledgement.
Nothing ever came from that except him doing it right back, confirming that he saw me and we recognized each other. As I contemplated why that gesture had become such an acceptable greeting while pulling out my wallet to get out some cash for the bus, I heard it. Someone was definitely coming up behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I nearly froze at the sight of the man that was standing there.
I immediately recognized him because he'd been taking the same bus as me for the last two weeks. A blush heated my face as I turned away. For those two weeks he'd been my secret voyeuristic stalking victim. I wasn't actually stalking him or anything, just watching him on the bus. He was younger than me but about Rick's height with black wavy hair, piercing blue eyes, and cheekbones that looked like they'd been perfectly crafted by God. It was hard not to be fascinated.
As I took out my glasses to see the bills clearer, I glanced back over at him and saw him smiling...at me, and I was so surprised by it that I fumbled with my glasses and dropped them. At hearing him chuckling at my clumsiness, the heat of embarrassment crept up my neck.
So much for first impressions, Banner. Ducking my head, I bent down to retrieve my glasses like an idiot.
"Nice job, Professor."
I froze. How did he know I was a Professor? The suspicion I felt spiked until he pointed toward my chest. Looking down, I saw my ID badge clipped to my breast pocket. "You're very observant."
He smiled more at the compliment before extending his hand, "Sebastian Shaw."
"Bruce Banner."
His hand was soft and warm, and I held it for a moment longer than normal as I tried for a warm friendly smile. The light in his blue eyes sparkled a little and I was floored. My heart gave a thump then paused as I caught my breath. Okay, I'm being overly dramatic, but he had me. It was beautiful. He was fucking beautiful.
After we shook hands I didn't know what I should do. He seemed open to conversation as he kept smiling while looking me over then around the street.
"Sebastian...In Catholicism, the name Sebastian refers to the patron Saint. He's the protector of potential plague victims and soldiers. And he was among the most frequently depicted of all saints by Late Gothic and Renaissance artists in the period after the, uh...Black Death." Oh, God. I had to close my eyes and kick myself. Who opened with that?
Sebastian had that look and I realized that I might have put him off because I was really, really bad at this. It wouldn't have been the first time that I scared someone away. Then, just as I thought he was going to jump ship, a small teasing smile formed on his face, lighting it up as he said, "And made martyr when he was tied to a tree and shot with arrows."
I smiled and laughed a little. I was officially sold to this man standing before me. He wasn't only beautiful, but smart too. "Your accent, it's East Coast...Philly?"
Surprised, Sebastian informed me with a wary look, "Close, Pittsburgh. That's impressive."
I had a feeling he would soon find out I wasn't like most people. Glancing down the street and only seeing a few cars coming, I turned back to him, saying, "I guess I have an ear for dialect. So I take it this is your first year here at Culver?"
"Yeah, I moved here a couple of weeks ago for Grad school. How'd you know?"
"I've only been seeing you around here for that long." Realizing how that sounded, I quickly added, "I-I mean, that, I, uh, I usually notice the regular occupants of the bus. I notice new people. You always look in a hurry." After that weird, stammered, explanation I was expecting him to run, or at least not talk to me anymore.
Sebastian was smiling as a sparkle of amusement filled his eyes. "It's hard not to be in a hurry when all you want to do is get out of here." Lowering his voice, and looking slightly embarrassed himself, he told me, "I've noticed you too."
That nearly took my breath away. He noticed me. I wondered if he hoped to see me standing here every night like I hoped to see him. God, the more I realized how much I was infatuated by Sebastian the more pathetic I sounded, even to myself. I felt like a creep. A perverted creep, but I couldn't stop myself. I felt myself wanting him more than I'd ever wanted anybody in my entire life. I had to get ahold of myself but couldn't. I mean, what if he rejected me after all this? What if he wasn't even interested in men?
"So, are you headed home?" he asked, breaking through my thoughts, as we stood facing each other. A few people walked by every so often but not a whole lot to distract us from one another.
Shrugging out my awkwardness, I told him, "I don't know. I tend to veer off course from time to time on the way to my house. I usually get a drink or something to eat."
That came off kind of strong, didn't it? I didn't want to sound like I was trying to pick him up, even though having a drink with him was exactly what I wanted. The uncertainty was making me feel like an insecure idiot, but he seemed not to care because he was smiling again. It was nice, sweet, and a little shy. I liked that.
He was suddenly nervous. The more I watched him, the more he kept glancing away every time I tried to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds. Was I coming on too strong? Or was he just really a shy guy? A man that got embarrassed by liking the fact that a man was trying to pick him up at a bus stop. At the moment, I didn't care. His shyness was one of the reasons I liked him so damn much.
"I didn't mean," I felt my hands gesturing as I struggled with what to say. "I'm not..."
Sebastian took pity as he suddenly asked, "What'd you teach?"
Thankful for the interruption, I breathed out as I explained, "I'm a Nuclear Physicist, but right now I'm teaching Molecular and Cellular Biology and Research-"
"Shut the front door, no fucking way," Sebastian said as he really started to smile. "Damn, you don't look like a science geek."
"Thanks, I guess," I said as I looked at the glasses still in my hand. Putting them on, I finally fingered through the money in my wallet and took out a few dollars for the bus. Returning my wallet to my back pocket, I asked, "What about you? What're you going to Grad school for?"
"Engineering; following in my dad's footsteps."
"What kind?" When I received only a blank look, I specified. "Chemical, civil, industrial...nuclear?"
"Mechanical. I know it's not as glamorous as being a professor, but to pay the bills I do drafting...engineering drawing," he explained like I didn't know what that was, "and I work part time at the local car shop on weekends."
I looked him over as I said, "There's nothing glamorous about being a college professor. And the reason I'm taking the bus is because I have four flat tires I've yet to replace. Says a lot about this science geek, huh?"
Sebastian looked at me then and he seemed relieved as he teased him, "Good thing you're hitting on a mechanic. Tires are easy, maybe I can give you a hand with it some time."
We stared at each other for a long moment and then looked away, asking, "Why Culver and not M.I.T?"
He shook his head in amusement as he said, "Why not Culver? It's pretty elite in the fields of Science and Technology. Third rated university in the country for Mechanical Engineering."
His attention was drawn over my shoulder, causing me to follow his eyes. The bus was coming. It suddenly came to a screeching stop in front of us and he motioned for me to get on first before following behind. I took a seat near the doors and he hesitated for a moment, looking around the mostly empty bus.
I could feel the heat on my cheeks as he leaned down a little, asking, "Would it be okay if…" he pointed to the seat next me, finishing off his abbreviated question.
I'm sure I looked stunned at first before clearing my throat. Those baby blue's stirred my gut as I said, "Uh, yeah," while I moved over a little in the seat.
Smiling a little, Sebastian sat beside me and leaned on his knees so we could look at each other almost straight on. Then he smiled again and I was lost.
Fear and loathing be damned. This man was everything I've been waiting on for a long time. Smart, beautiful, and willing. Usually, I wasn't interested in getting with anyone younger than me for fear of abandonment. However, after my two month long stalker-ish fascination with Sebastian there wasn't anything that could keep me from wanting to get lost in those eyes, in that man, even if it ended up being for the night.
Bruce's House
Ring! Ring! Ring!
That sounded like my phone, and it was getting louder, more urgent. Shit, what time's it? Groaning into the pillow, I rolled onto my back and searched blindly on the nightstand for the phone. "Yeah," I answered while clearing my throat from the strained dryness that coated it.
"We're needed at the lab," Rick sounded groggily on the other end. He was just waking up as well. "Selvig wants to get an early start. Need me to pick you up?"
Yes, because my car was still sitting in the driveway eroding with rust. My eyes itched and I wanted to rub at them along with my aching head but my left arm was being weighed down by the naked man who lightly stirred against my side. Sebastian was waking and it was getting harder to concentrate as his hand rubbed along the hair on my chest. Hum, God, his touch was making me twitch alive.
"When you'd, um...I mean, when do you think that, that you're gonna be here?" I asked as I felt his hand trail further south and disappear under the sheet.
"Give me an hour."
My breath hitched and I had to place the phone against my chest. He was trying to kill me. Putting the phone back to my ear, I heard, "Hey, baby, you gotta leave?" At hearing Rick's girlfriend's voice over the line I felt the spark of jealously tighten my chest right before Sebastian's warm breath tickled my ear as he whispered that he wanted to taste me. "O-oh, okay," I answered both men right before Sebastian's mouth replace his teasing fingers.
The wet mouth that engulfed me had me bucking off the bed as I quickly ended the call while groaning embarrassing loud into the room. It took everything I had to not come as I took hold of his head to stop him. "Ungh, Sebastian, st-stop, stop, c'mere," I told him as I drew his mouth up to my face.
I was too close and I wanted to be in him. Taking him in my arms, I rolled us, getting him on his back and kissed him deeply. Driving my tongue into his moist hot mouth, I tasted a little of myself. I settled between his spreading legs while opening the nightstand drawer to take out a condom. Safe sex was always better than no sex, no matter how much I hated wearing the damn things.
I barely had enough time to shower, dress, and get a cup of coffee into my tired, sore, and amazingly satisfied body before Rick called to inform me that he was stopping at the bakery a few blocks away.
"Want me to pick you up anything?"
"Coffee and whatever you usually get would be fine. Thanks."
"Okay, be there in a few minutes."
After hanging up the phone, I hurried into the living room and caught Sebastian by the arm as he was going for the front door. Apologizing, I told him, "Sorry you have to leave so soon."
Kissing my lips, Sebastian smiled before telling me, "It's okay. I have to get home anyway."
With seeing the sincerity in his eyes, I felt relieved before I kissed him back. No amount of will could stop me. Now that I had him, I wanted more. I didn't want him to leave.
He had been amazing last night, and I'm not just talking about the sex. Sebastian was funny and extremely intelligent. His father was an German engineer and his mother an American scientist; they'd met in Amsterdam and that was where Sebastian had been born. He'd lived in various countries, traveling around the world with his parents before his father died. His mother then moved back to Pittsburgh when Sebastian was twelve. He'd been mostly home schooled, had very few friends, and devoted most of his time to his studies. So far, we had a little more than a few things in common.
It was usually hard for a man like me to find someone to talk to because of my diverse wealth of knowledge and tendency to express that wealth. I could talk about the simple things: music, movies, sports, whatever, but after awhile my mind would get bored quickly with the tedious mundane things.
Usually, when I started in on talking about theories of physics or biochemistry or just random bullshit that I knew, that was when I started to lose a lot of people. The conversations I enjoyed the most were the ones that ran deep. And I could go deep and I could get very argumentative about my thoughts and beliefs and that was also when most people would ask me, some not too politely, to back off or calm down. The thing that pissed me off the most was when I was told that I think too much. Me being the stubborn guy I was, I always snapped back that they didn't think enough.
Some women I've been with even had the gull to tell me that I was too intelligent for them to be with and they couldn't talk to me. They didn't know how to talk to me. Or they wouldn't have their own opinion and try to please me by agreeing with mine. It really upset me. And I think a reason for it being a problem was because women who acted like that always reminded me of my mother. How she would cower to my father and mute herself. I couldn't be with a woman who wanted a man to be her sole influencer. I truly believed that a woman who relied on a man for everything ended up abused and not caring. It was probably highly irrational on my part, but I couldn't stop how I felt or thought. I couldn't be with a woman like that, no matter how empathic I was toward them.
That wasn't the kind of man I was. It didn't matter if I was gay or not, I didn't want to be that guy.
Anyway, back to women in general…Or at least the women I've tried to date. It wasn't like I never helped them along in leaving me. I mean, I was horrible at relating to people, at expressing my own emotions. And the fact that I wanted to secretly be with a man didn't help. When things started to get too intimate on an emotional level I would retreat back into my mind and say something that was so stupid or analytical that they either hit me or walked out. I actually do have my share of scars to prove it.
Then there were the women who wanted to get married, have kids, and change me. It wasn't the fact I didn't want all those things, I just didn't want my partner to be a woman. But gay marriage wasn't legal and unfortunately I hadn't figured out how men could ever get pregnant. Therefore, I couldn't be with a woman who was seeking a man for all those things. She would actually think I wanted to get married. Then when I didn't and left, well…the last time I made that mistake she keyed my car and flattened my tires.
There was no denying it. I had it coming.
For me to finally, after many long years of torment and shame, to admit that I was gay and wanted to actually have a relationship with a man was the best day of my life. Believe me when I say that Sebastian was a welcomed relief. I finally thought that I could be with someone and actually be happy for a change.
I was greatly surprised and excited that he was so easy to just be with. That he got me on an intellectual level that few ever had. He could speak five different languages and I absolutely loved it that I could sweet-talk him in German or Italian and he knew what was said without having to explain. We had talked for hours last night on the back steps of my house as we drank a bottle of wine.
I had told him about my nine year 'no drinking ban' and how my lack of sleep led to the impulse to buy the bottle. Just like Rick had done the day before, Sebastian informed me that the drinking would only make the insomnia worse, but he could help with that if I wanted. I still got hard at the memory. That statement and the lustful look in his deeply dark blue eyes had quickly led us back to my bed and to the best sex I've had, ever.
Despite the fact that I'd never been with a man before it all came so easy and felt so right. Before it was all over I had tears in my eyes because for the first time it wasn't just a physical act of sex. I actually felt loved while making love. At thirty-four years of age, I had felt like I was no longer a virgin. It was wonderful. Hallelujah.
At the front door we kissed until I heard the familiar honking of Rick's car outside. I didn't want to stop kissing Sebastian or break away from his intoxicating scent. "I gotta go."
"Don't sound too heartbroken," he said with a soft smile. "Dinner tonight?"
Sebastian had written down his number on one of the pieces of paper hanging on my refrigerator and we had made plans to meet for a late dinner. I couldn't wait. "I'll call if anything happens. And again, I'm sorry for being called into the lab this early."
"You're a scientist, it happens. Now go have fun blowing shit up."
Chuckling, I kissed him one last time before letting go. "You're incredible."
"I know," he said with a smirk as he opened my front door.
I followed him out the door and down the steps before we had to break off. He headed off across the street in the direction of the bus stop one block over as I headed toward the awaiting car.
Rick was on the phone when I got in. He glanced over at me then returned his attention to the caller. His head was in his hand and he was staring down at the steering wheel. Giving him some privacy, I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes; silently hoping that he hadn't noticed the man walking out with me. The car started to move moments later and we were on our way.
"So," Rick finally spoke after a long few moments of silence. "Are we still on for tonight?"
"Oh…" I breathed out softly. I forgot. And I had made plans with Sebastian. Inwardly I kicked my ass again as I spotted the cup of coffee. Distracting myself, and giving me time to figure out what I was going to do, I took a sip and swallowed before asking, "What time is this dinner?"
Rick glared over at me in irritation. "Don't even try it. It's not going to work."
That glare and flash of anger I saw in them surprised me. Maybe he did see Sebastian and was trying to not let it show. "Try what?"
"Ditching me."
Shaking my head, I told Rick, "I'm not trying to ditch you. It's just…" It was reasonable to assume that he had seen us together so I fell on the sword and said, "I made plans with someone else. I didn't mean to, but things happened last night and I completely forgot about you and your friend...Rachael. We can still have dinner and I can still keep her company, but I can't be out all night."
"I can't believe you!" He glanced over at me as he continued to drive remarkably well despite his anger. "Who?"
"Uh..." I realized he hadn't seen us or he didn't make the connection, so I vaguely said, "someone."
"Someone?" Rick said in disbelief as he shook his head. Then, suddenly, he started to laugh. "You're so clueless sometimes, Bruce, I can't believe it. Even knowing that tonight you're having dinner with my friend, you just couldn't..." Shaking his head again, he said, "No wonder you looked like the cat that ate the canary."
I ate it all right, and I'm craving so much more. My hunger was fueled by that man. "Well, like you said, your friend is going home in a week and I have no idea if she'll like me let alone want to spend the rest of the week with me."
"What if she does like you? What if she wants to screw your brains out?"
I didn't know if it was good for me or not that he sounded confident in the fact that his friend might very well want to have her wicked way with me in the bedroom. Five months of a horrible dry spell and now this? What piped piper had I paid off? Then I thought "Gay", and quickly shuddered. "I'm not promising anything, all right. I only met this person last night. That hardly constitutes as something…" Go ahead and admit it. It did mean something and now I'm terrified of what it is and what it means because right now I actually think I might be falling in love. "Meaningful, substantial-"
"Person" Rick interrupted. "Why aren't we using names?" He looked over at me and said, "Is this person a student?"
"Grad student and not even close to being one of mine."
"Graduate, okay. At least she's not like eighteen and still having daddy issues. Are you thinking about having sex with both of them?"
Feeling like I had to get back at him for yesterday, I said in all seriousness, "Not at the same time."
Without missing a beat, Rick said, "That's it? I've had snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies. Besides, you're too much of an uptight, boy scout, to try it with two women. I never would. I'm a one woman type of guy."
After thinking about this hours afterwards, I realized that my own jealousy toward Rick and his girlfriend was what really set me off. "Don't give me that 'holier than thou' act Rick because we both know that if you were in the same situation I'm in, one of which being Madonna, and yes I know about your secret celebrity crush, you'll have no problem being with both. Maybe not sleeping with both, but you wouldn't pass up dinner invitations."
Rick stared straight ahead but I could see that I had gotten to him. Call it payback for yesterday when he left me standing stunned into disbelief like a fool, but I felt a great deal of satisfaction seeing that blush heat his neck.
"Okay, first," Rick said matter-of-fact, "Madonna is hot. And secondly, who pissed in your Cheerios? Seriously, if I wanted to be riding in the car with a bitch I would've got a dog."
Damn it, I had no comeback for that. Nothing. I stared over at him in disbelief as he kept driving. He knew I wasn't trying to start anything. He knew that I would be my ol' respectful self and that I wouldn't lead his friend on or take advantage. And I would be the one saying 'no' because I really was over women. I was over thinking I had to be with someone of the opposite sex to have a satisfactory relationship. To be normal. I didn't care about being normal, I cared about being myself and I wanted to stop hiding.
Whether Rick would still be my best friend or not after he found out or not was yet to be seen. He never really talked about his thoughts on gay men. It wasn't exactly something that usually came up between two male friends. Or at least, not with us.
With seeing the glint in Rick's eyes and the smirk pulling at his lips, I knew that he wasn't really mad at me; he was just probably worried about his friend.
And I still haven't thought of something witty to get him back. "Okay," I told him as we crossed the bridge and passed the sign welcoming us to Culver University campus. " You win. If it makes you feel any better, I just won't come tonight."
"No, you don't! You're still coming whether you screw this first date up or not; which you probably will because right now you're making the guys on Jackass look like Einstein."
"And you're being a dork."
"No I'm not."
"You know what a dork is," I said as we arrived on campus. "It's a whale's dick, which means you're being the biggest dick in the world right now."
Rick went slacked jaw as he stared straight ahead in defeat. "I'm speechless. I have nothing."
"Yes!" I exclaimed as I hit the roof of the car with my fist in victory.
And just like that, the subject was dropped and we were back to normal; well, as normal as the two of us could be together.
Research Lab
Culver University
"Ground control to Major Tom..." That was Rick's voice. "Come on, Bruce, wake up."
Forcing my eyes open, I winced in pain at the brightness and moaned. Everything looked fuzzy and for some reason I was on my back staring up at the ceiling. There was a pain in my head and chest and I had no memory of what the hell happened.
Rick was staring down at me in worry, waving his hand in front of my face, as he repeated, "Ground control to Major Tom..."
Groaning, I responded with the corresponding song lyric, "Commencing countdown, engines on."
Rick sighed in relief as he said, "Thank God you're alive." He offered a hand to help me up. "Now I don't have to worry about finding someone else to put up with my love of David Bowie."
My stomach swirled as the room spun so I waved off the offered help up. There was a burning in my chest and when I turned my head I saw the destroyed glass class where Selvig's experiment had once been. I guess that was the cause for the pain.
Selvig was on the other side of the room pouring over his notes as he said, "Well, that didn't work."
I looked to Rick who shrugged at Selvig's behavior as I asked, "What happened?"
"It went boom."
Breathing out, I stayed lying on the floor as I rubbed at my head and chest; it felt like it was on fire.
"The stabilizing agent wasn't strong enough," Selvig announced as he got up from the desk he was sitting at and scanned over the shattered glasses and bent metal. "It shouldn't have done that. Even if we successfully recreated a black hole, energy and particles are supposed to be sucked in, collapse on itself, not explode."
"It's not the stabilizing agent," I announced from the floor as I continued to stare at the ceiling while my brain raced over the numbers and figures. It wasn't the stabilizing agent. It was the radiation we were trying to use to recreate the black hole. "Unless we can simulate a radiation close enough to Hawkins Radiation...What about gamma?"
Rick groaned and rubbed a hand over his face in annoyance. "Not this again. Bruce, enough with your idea that gamma radiation-"
Leaning up on my elbows, I told him, "When the core of a massive star collapses it ejects a jet of gas into space at nearly the speed of light, right? Particles at light speed colliding causes black holes. Collisions between the fast-moving gas and its surroundings, as well as within the jet itself, create gamma rays." Getting to my feet, I stumbled over to the computer and quickly typed in the equation. "A star collapsing in on itself to produce an explosion of gamma radiation should be about the same that's created when two particles collide." Looking over at Selvig, I said, "If you want to prove your theory that when a particle gets taken in by a black hole that it doesn't disappear into non-existence but instead makes a copy, like a copy machine, I suggest we run two experiments at the same time."
"Two," Rick nearly yelped from across the room. "You're not suggesting what I think you are, are you?"
"I'll recreate a star collapsing, sending out the jet of gamma rays toward the two particles colliding. The combination-"
"Could kill us," Rick yelled.
I turned to him in disbelief. "Stop being melodramatic, Rick. It's not going to kill us."
Rick stared wide-eyed at me as he said, "Have you ever heard of the Big Bang?"
"No, I think he's right," Selvig said as he rounded the table to look at the computer screen. "This is genius."
"This is highly illogical, dangerous, and downright insane," Rick said as he came up beside me then bent down to examine the simulation I started with my new equations. Straightening, he asked, "When do we start?"
After a long day of work that included successfully, for nearly thirty seconds, recreating a miniature black hole with the great Astrophysicist Dr. Erik Selvig, I needed a quiet relaxing night at home and not a stifling loud night out with Rick, his girlfriend, and the friend.
If I hadn't promised him that I would accompany them for dinner, I would've still been working Selvig's project to figure out how to stabilize the black hole for a good minute or two. I would hear it all the time from colleagues to never take the work home, but it wasn't like I had a family to worry about ignoring. There was no one to neglect with my endless pursuit of growth and development in the field of gamma radiation. That was my passion; and to find out today that I could use it successfully was a huge development. Hopefully this meant I was one step closer to possibly getting my grant for my nearly life-long passion project of predicting the spontaneous formation of gamma particles in a vacuum.
After dinner at a four-star restaurant, two slow dances, and three glasses of wine, I was itching to leave. Rachael was nice enough and beautiful enough but I couldn't get Sebastian off my mind. When a conversation between us strayed from being about a movie she had just seen to a deeper conversation about the accepts of science which the movie centered around, I lost her. I saw it the moment she became confused and changed the subject.
"Rick told me that you're a genius."
"Rick thinks everyone with a Ph. D. is a genius," I said off-handly as I looked over at Rick.
He pointed to me and said, "Multipule. You have more than one of those bad boys stuffed in a drawer somewhere. Don't mind him, he's modest," Rick told Rachael as he smiled with pride.
Rachael looked like she was puzzling over something before asking, "So did you graduate high school at like twelve or something?"
Looking over at her, I shook my head. "No, I graduated on time with everyone else."
"What Bruce is really trying to say is that he didn't want to intimidate all the eighteen year old college students by being better than them at age twelve," Rick reached over and patted him on the shoulder like it was the truth and he was helping him out by explaining better.
If Rick only knew the real reasons why I didn't skip ahead in school. It wasn't just the fact that I hid my intelligence and never applied myself beyond just doing the work that was needed to satisfy the curriculum, or that I was stuffed into my locker and sat alone at lunch every day, or that I was a cronic skipper due to the fact that some days I just didn't want to go through the hellish nightmare that was my school days. It was the fact that I had been expelled for an entire school year and had to have counselling sessions because I had purposely built a bomb and planted it in the school.
I didn't do it so I could blow the school up, but to vailidate the fact that I could, for one, build it, and two, that I finally had leverage. In a place where I had felt like I had no control over the safety of my own life, in that moment of knowing the bomb was there and what it could do, I had for the first time felt safe while I walked the hallways of the high school. And that if I was pushed into a locker one more God damn time, I could hit a switch and just take it out. End it all.
But then, I did know how crazy that was. That was the reason why I never activated it and why I didn't even carry the triggering device on me but instead left it in my bedroom. Deep down I knew I wasn't a murderer, I just wanted the security it provided. I wanted to not be afraid anymore. I've been told on many occassions by several therapists that I had anger issues; that I was highly passive-aggressive, and that incident was the beginning of it boiling over into an manifestation of that anger.
Those were dark thoughts that I hadn't thought about, and didn't want to think about. It was over, done with, and I was very lucky I didn't end up committed or in prison. My record had been expunged with I turned eighteen. What also helped was that since that incident, I started going exclusively by my middle name. Everything I did from then on out had the name Bruce Banner attached to it instead of Robert. Robert Banner brought up past instances of news paper clippings and juvenile records that I wished would just disappear.
And don't think I hadn't thought of a way to hack into the mainframe of every computer system in the world to rid it of my past, because I had. It would've been too easy, actually.
"And you and Rick's been friends how long?"
"Five years," we both said in unison. Glancing over to Rick, I saw his cheeky smile as he turned to Rachael.
"We met during my senior year as an undergrad at Caltech. Bruce was finishing up one of his Master degrees at that point. It was in a bar off campus and I challenaged him, rather drunkenly and stupidly, to a game of pool. He kicked my ass while explaining to me that pool is all about geometry and phyics. By the end of the night, we won a few wagers against the locals." Then he quickly added, "For which we were nearly arrested for getting into a bar fight because they thought we were hustlers."
"I still can't believe you became a scientist," Rachael said with a laugh. "In high school Rick had this long hair modeled after Steven Tyler and wore ripped jeans and this red leather jacket straight out of Rebel Without a Cause. His band, The Bleeding Scardales, played heavy metal and punk rock. God, Rick, forever you wanted to be a rockstar."
"I am a rockstar, babe," Rick said. "Just a different kind. Long hair's out and science is in. Everyone wants to be a science geek nowadays. I personally blame C.S.I. and House. Everyone fucking loves those shows. Ain't that right, Bruce?"
I looked up from the table I'd been staring at the entire time and asked innocently, "What?"
"Oh, that's right, you don't watch television," Rick said with a teasing smirk.
"I watch tv," I shot back.
"Let me rephrase then. You don't watch tv shows that are made specifically for entertainment purposes. If it's not strictly the news, or educational, or on Discovery Channel, you're not watching it. No, wait, you do like those cooking shows. Secretly, Doctor Banner here wishes he could cook."
With all eyes on me suddenly, and amused smiles, I felt I had to defend myself for some reason by saying, "There's a lot of science that goes into cooking the perfect dish. Correlation between temperature and time, how each ingredient reacts to another-"
"It's cooking, Bruce, not a science experiment."
"All cooking is is a science experiment," I said as I returned my eyes back to the table.
I wanted to leave.
I wanted to toss the napkin down, say goodbye, and excuse myself. Call Sebastian up and meet up somewhere. I was now completely uninterested in what was going on around the table. My mind was all over the place. At that point it seemed like I was only sticking around so not to bail on Rick.
Holly and Rachael had other plans. Holly was Rick's girlfriend; they'd met a month ago at the campus library. She was the new Linguistics professor. Anyway, her and Rachael thought it'd be a great idea to drag us to a nightclub that was pounding with bass music. The pounding in my head got worse. With feeling the heat creep up my neck, I tried to rub the tension in my muscles away and hoped I wasn't getting sick. That was the last thing I needed.
Looking over to Rick, he was amused as he leaned over and whispered something in Holly's ear. My jealously spurred as my jaw clenched tight at the sight of them together. With that jealousy strangling my heart, I pushed my chair back and left. I've had enough of this double date.
The moment I left the table I was swallowed up in the mass of moving bodies as I made my way toward the door. The alternative rock song thumped against the walls and floors causing them to vibrate along with my head. With the amount of anxious energy rushing through my body, I was dangerously close to losing it.
Stumbling out of the door and into the humid summer air, I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. That felt better. I felt better. I could breathe again. That was until I heard Rick.
"Bruce, what the hell!?"
I couldn't do this now. Shaking my head, I went to walk away when he grabbed me. At feeling his hand tighten on my shoulder, I tensed as my anxious energy turned to anger. Scrawny, weak, pathetic, Banner! Everyone hates you, everyone leaves you, and everyone, including Rick, will hurt you! My vision blurred with red as I dropped my shoulder, turned, and shoved him hard in the chest to back away.
Rick stood stunned for a long moment as he stared back in shock. "Did you just push me?"
Staring right back, my hands balled and jaw tensed for a fraction of a second before I realized what had happened. My body shook as I relaxed and apologized, "Sorry. I didn't...You scared me when you grabbed me."
"I know the feeling," he said as he lifted a hand to rub his chest. "Why're you leaving? I thought you cancelled with..."someone"."
I couldn't explain this now. Rick was my best friend and I still wasn't sure how'd he react; so, I lied. "I'm not feeling well."
His eyes narrowed as he took a step closer and said, "You do look like shit. Then again, you were blown up today." The smile was soft and easy, causing me to smile back. "That's not it though. I can tell when you're lying."
"No you can't."
"Yea-huh. You have the worst poker face in the world. Why'd you think I always win at cards."
"Because I let you."
Rick smiled again but he was being serious. "What's really going on? During dinner you barely talked to Rachael. Is this about that "someone"," he said again. "I thought it wasn't serious."
"It's not." That hurt. That hurt a lot. Sebastian was the best thing to ever happen to me. Shaking my head again, I gestured to the club and said, "Can you really see me dancing?"
He laughed and said, "Only after a few more drinks. Hell, after a few more drinks I might actually start to think you're not a bad dancer, or ugly for that matter." Rick was trying to put me at ease, make me laugh, but I was too tired and too scared to be amused. My change in mood must have been obvious enough for him to suddenly get serious. He got closer to me and said, "C'mon, Bruce, we're best friends. Whatever you've got to tell me, I'll be okay with it."
Okay, this was it. If we were going to have it out, now was it. My stomach twisted as I looked to the ground and closed my eyes. Please don't hate me, Rick. Please, please, please...Taking a deep breath I just let it out. Simple, easy..."I'm gay."
Rick blinked back, tilted his head back, looked me over, and then said, "Say again?"
"I'm gay, Rick. The person I'm meeting later tonight...his name's Sebastian. He's a guy."
"Oh..." Rick said softly before looking away in thought. "Huh. That actually makes a hell of a lot of sense."
"Rick, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and if you don't...I'd hate to lose your friendship, but if-"
"Bruce, shut up," Rick snapped as he stepped right up into my personal space. Staring down into my eyes, he said, "If he ever hurts you in anyway or even thinks about hurting you, you better let me know."
Stunned, all I could get out was, "What will you do if he does?"
"Blow up his car...with him in it," Rick said matter of fact.
Shaking my head slightly, I still stared at him a little confused. "So...so you're not going to hit me?" I asked in relief. God, I was so relieved I felt like falling over.
Rick stared at me like I'd lost his mind. "You're my best friend; I don't hit my friends. You love whoever you love, and I'll be by your side cheering you on. Although, I'm not looking forward to going to any Gay Pride parades."
"That makes two of us," I told him as he clasped his hand on my shoulder; this time it wasn't out of anger. The hand help to ground me a little and I couldn't help the shy smile. Rick didn't hate me. He wasn't going to hurt me.
Giving me a shake and smile, he said, "I don't know how I'm going to break this to Rachael."
"Just introduce her to some hot drunken idiot. She'll forget about me in no time."
Rick smiled and slapped me on the shoulder. "Good thinking, my friend." Then the smile faded as he gave a nod.
"Hey, Rick...Rick...Hey, Doctor Jones!" Holly called out from the door to the nightclub.
He turned to her and held up a finger. "Give us a minute," he yelled back. Turning back, he said, "So...gay, huh?"
Smiling slightly, I teasingly said, "No one asked for your life story, Rick."
Rick went blank for a moment then laughed. "Screw you," he said as he gave me a little shove down the sidewalk.
"No thanks," I shot back. "I don't want to catch anything."
"Get the hell out of here," he said with a laugh. "I mean it, leave! Go be an ass to your new boyfriend."
I had no comeback for that one, but then again I didn't want one. Giving a wave, I headed down the street as Rick went back into the nightclub with Holly. Halfway up the block I had my cell phone out and up to my ear as I called Sebastian.
Sebastian's Apartment
Sebastian didn't live too far from my house as it turned out. The building was only a short five minute bus ride pass my stop. It was up two more blocks and in a brick building next to a car shop. On the other side of the street was a motel, gas station, and further down was a shopping center.
I had to press a buzzer to his apartment and wait for him to let me into the building.
"Yeah?" Sebastian's voice cracked through the speaker.
"It's me...Bruce."
The door buzzed and unlocked. Taking the steps two at a time I got up to the third floor and saw him waiting for me. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest with a deep frown on his face.
"What?" I asked as I looked around, thinking that he couldn't possibly have that look for me. Not when I just out-ed myself to my best friend. This couldn't be the end of us already.
"You broke our date. I thought...Nevermind," he said as he shook his head. "What'd you have to do tonight?"
He sounded pissed and maybe even a little afraid. I didn't want to start this off with a lie so I came right out with it. "I had to accompany my best friend and his girlfriend on a double date."
Sebastian's frown deepened as he said, "Double? You had another date?"
"Yes, with a woman. It ended horribly," I assured him; or at least tried. I wasn't good at that either.
"How?" he asked, still stunned.
"All I could think about was you...so, I left. Rick cornered me outside and...and I came out to him. He didn't hit me so I think we're still friends." As we continued to stare at each other, all I kept thinking about was all my past relationships. How desasterous they had been and how I could never apologize right or ever do anything correctly to keep them from leaving. I was either doing too much or not enough. I was so bad at this it was embarrassing.
Sebastian still had a weird look on his face but at least he was smiling. "Wow. That's honest."
I let out a breath at that smile. "I've been told it's the best policy," I said and hoped to whatever God there was that he wouldn't suddenly turn around and slam the door in my face.
Instead, he stepped closer to me and leaned down, placing a kiss on my lips. "Thank you for not lying."
"Thanks for not kicking me out."
He smiled and shrugged, saying, "Sounds like you had a rough night. I didn't want to make it worse. C'mon," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his apartment. "I'll give you the five cent tour." He shut the door with a back kick as he pointed around the apartment. "Living room, dining area, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom are down that hallway, and I have to use the laundromat down the street to clean my clothes."
"It's...comfy."
"Yea, that's about all it is," Sebastian said as he turned back to face me. Looking me over again, he said, "What's with the jacket?"
"What's wrong with it?" I asked as I looked down in confusion.
"Nothing, unless you like going around looking like Mister Rogers Neighborhood-"
"It's my favorite."
"It's tweed-"
"So?"
"...take this off," he said as he took my jacket off. He smiled and I laughed and shook my head. I really did like that jacket. "Beer? Wine?" he asked as he tossed the jacket onto the couch. Then he unbuttoned my top button on my shirt and undid the tie.
"A beer would be nice, thanks," I said as I continued to let him take my clothes off. He stopped at the tie as he tossed it onto the jacket then he kissed me before going into the kitchen.
While he got us something to drink, I continued to explore the apartment. There wasn't much to the small apartment. There were band posters on the walls along with black and white portraits of the city of Pittsburgh along with the professional baseball team the Pittsburgh Pirates. Books lined shelves and were stacked on various tables. There were drafting blueprints for car designs as well as engines and, surprisingly, jets and airplanes scattered over the two person dining table by the entrance to the kitchen.
Sebastian appeared next to him and offered him a bottle. "My projects."
"These are all your designs?"
"I'm hoping one day to be CEO of my own company, like Stark Industries except with less weapons."
Looking over at him, I asked, "What would you call it?"
Giving a shrug, Sebastian said, "I don't know...Shaw Industries." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back.
Half an hour later we were sitting on the floor pouring over his impressive vinyl collection while sipping on his last bottle of beer; we didn't bother splitting it up between two glasses as we passed it back and forth; along with the joint he rolled.
"You smoke?" he had asked me.
Shrugging, I said, "What the hell, I did survive being blown up today."
"You got blown up?" he asked in concern as he took a drag then passed it over.
Smiling slightly, I told him how my morning went, "We were able to stabilize a black hole for thirty seconds; before that, we used the wrong type of radiation and it went ka-boom. I was in the way."
I hadn't gotten high since I was a grad student. It didn't nearly burn as bad as I remembered. I tried to hold the smoke in as long as possible before coughing it out. Sebastian laughed and I couldn't help but lean over and kiss him as I handed it back.
Once the kiss ended, he asked, "If your students knew you got high would they think you were the coolest fucking teacher in the world?"
"Probably," I huffed out a laugh as I went back to thumbing through his milk crates full of vintage vinyl albums. "I didn't think young twenty-four year olds even knew what vinyl's were," I said as I took a record out and looked at the cover.
"That's not mine," he said as he snatched the album out of my hands and flicked it like a frisbe across the living room.
"Oh, you're not crazy about The Monkees?" I teased as he started laughing. "I heard all the boys went crazy over Davy Jones." Grabbing the beer bottle out of his hand, I took a sip.
"Davy Jones sucks and Lennon/McCartney were kings," Sebastian said as he took the bottle from me as I lifted it to take another sip. With seeing his smile, I let him have it. I've had too much to drink anyway. "I said it wasn't mine. Some of those were my parents."
"You know, you can tell a lot about a person by what's in their music collection."
"And what does mine say about me, Professor?"
"You're a white college student," I said in all seriousness with a teasing smirk. I took the joint back from him, took another hit then passed it back as I picked up another album at random. "You've got The Beatles, Bob Marley, The Clash, The Cure, Muse...Wang Chung? This one of your parents' too?"
"Hey, don't dis my Wang Chung," Sebastian said as he snatched it out of my hands again. "You want to know what I love?"
I glanced over at him as I said, "I could say something very vulgar right now."
"Oh," he said playfully. "Please do tell, Dr. Banner. Does it start with a 'c; and end with a 'k'."
"Hmm, maybe," I said as I picked up another record. It was a single and I hadn't heard the band before.
"Oh," he reached into the crate and pulled out an album. "This song reminds me of you. You like Coldplay?"
"Who?"
He handed the joint back to me as he moved to get up. "God, Bruce, you need to get out of your lab more."
"No I don't."
Sebastian just looked at me and shook his head, muttering, "I'd love to see what's in your record collection."
"A lot of the same, but with more blues and a lot of jazz..."
"Jazz like in Coltrane?"
"Among others," I said as I watched as he put the record on. "Uh, I just came from a nightclub blasting house music. It gave me a headache. I don't want to make it worse," I told him before sucking in more of the marijuana smoke before breathing it back out.
Sebastian glanced back as he jumped up, he said in disbelief, "You were at a nightclub? Did you dance?"
"No," I huffed out in a laugh.
Sebastian's stereo system was huge. The guy had everything he needed to make his own record if he wanted. He dropped the needle and turned to face me. Holding out his hand, he said, "Dance with me."
For a long moment there was no sound coming for the stereo as I said, "Uhhhh, I don't think so."
Sebastian rolled his eyes as he sighed before grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet. "Loosen up, Bruce. No one's going to laugh."
"I might," I said as he took the joint from me and put it in the ashtray on top of the stereo system. Then the first notes of the piano started as his arms wrapped around me and I realized I was an idiot for protesting. Holding him that close was what was amazing. "What's this song?"
"It's called, 'The Scientist'. It's kind-of sad, but...sweet. Like I said, it reminds me of you."
"You think I'm sad?"
"I think you have a lot of lonilness, and fear, inside of you. I am a very observant person, and I could see from the moment we met that you've never had a lover."
The way he said that while looking pointedly into my eyes had me in disbelief. It was way too early in this...whatever it was, to feel this way. Wasn't it?
"Even though you tried to fool me last night, I knew it was your first time. When you cancelled our date I thought you were running. I thought..." he shook his his head with smile before saying, "Just listen to the song, and move with me. Okay?"
I gave a nod as the music and lyrics that filled the room swelled the already growing pain in my chest and lump in my throat. I stopped caring about how ridiculous I looked as Sebastian wrapped his arms around me and held me close as he started to sway.
"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart. Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions. Oh, let's go back to the start. Running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart."
My hands clenched into his shirt as my eyes squeezed shut. Emotions I'd never let myself feel since I was kid crashed into my chest and it felt like I was dying. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. It was too much.
"Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard...Oh, take me back to the start."
His hands traveled over my back as our dancing turned more physical and less about keeping rhythm. That was good; I could focus on the physical. The physical I was good at. I could do that.
Pushing the pain my chest down and swallowing the lump in my throat I focused on how amazing his body felt rubbing me just right. He responded to my caresses as I felt his hardening erection press against me. The hitch then moan that escaped my shaking lips were amplified as his hands slid lower to play with the hem of my shirt.
"I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart."
His fingers, his touch, were leaving trails of heat along my body, neck and face. Encouraging touches that told me this wasn't over, not by a long shot. Taking a deep breath against his neck, I quivered as his touch propelled my own movements. As his hand flowed down over my face, sliding his thump over my lips, I reached my hand up to follow the movement.
Never had I felt so strongly a person's touch. It was overwhelming and it drove my desires and inhibitions deeper. I shivered at the sensation while my eyes closed as he pressed a kiss against my neck. I had to keep myself from not taking him right then and there on the living room floor.
"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me, oh when I rush to the start. Running in circles, chasing our tails, coming back as we are."
Leaning fully into his body my breath hitched as I felt his hand moving down further, running along the fabric of my jeans that covered my hip and then he squeeze my ass and shifted me forward against him. He was driving me crazy.
I grabbed his hand and moved it for my backside to the uncomfortable bulge in the front of my jeans; we both squeezed and gasped.
"Nobody said it was easy, oh, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard."
"Bruce," he breathed out against my ear before kissing it, licking it. I nearly came as I groaned.
I was gone. If anyone wanted to turn me on, even when I was completely out of the mood, all they had to do was stimulate my ear by kissing it, licking it or even breathing heavily agaisnt it. That sensation made me harder than if he would've just touched me. I turned my head to meet his lips.
"I'm going back to the start."
As we kissed he pushed my shirt up to caress over my stomach as he thrust up into hard into my groin. It was getting so more difficult to stay standing as my knees felt like they were going to give out. Once the kiss ended, I felt the smile on my face as I wrapped my hand around his neck as I brought my lips up to kiss his ear and then along his jaw.
"I want you," he whispered right before he did want I wanted to do; he took me to the floor.
TBC...