So, I'm BAAAaaaaccccckkk! "Already?" You say? WELL HECK YES! Its what I do!

And I'm super bored, and I can't sleep!

So this chapter is kind of disturbing in places, but I think it adds to the chapter.

And I know there are a lot of True Blood references so far. Don't worry. There won't be a ton. And you don't have to have watched the show to understand the story. I just got done finishing the fourth season of it, and I kinda wanted to mention it.

LOVE that show.

Geez, I'm babbling. Probably because its the middle of the night, and I'm exhausted...

OH WELL!

Disclaimer-I don't own Hetalia. ='[

...

2/29/12

ITS LEAP YEAR, BITCHES! Yeah! Today is the last day of February! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! Usually It only had 28 days! That's why February's the magician of all the months. Once every 4 years, it MAKES another day appear. HAHA! Its so cool!

Dude...so, I'm kind of ashamed to mention this...but I seriously masturbated for 2 hours, staring at a picture of Anna Paquin...

Have you SEEN how hot she is? PROBABLY NOT! Because you don't have EYES! Sorry Bill...I kinda forgot...

So, I've been on this True Blood kick. Yeah...that show freaking rocks. And like, the chicks are so hot. And there's a lot of sex. Its like, a show with this weird ass plot, and a porno mixed together.

Every man's dream if you ask me. That way, if you say you watch it, and you're a guy, you don't look like a pervert. Haha! I know! I'm a genius!

Shit...I got a cookie crumb stuck in my pen...Damnet! Why does this happen every time?

God, I love eating cookies with milk. Sometimes, when I do this, I pretend I'm Santa Clause, and I'm like, making the "naughty list", or whatever. Haha! ITS NOT WEIRD!

Can you believe I had to go to another world meeting today? I KNOW! Germany's like a nazi with all these meetings!...Shit...I didn't even mean to make that joke...

I'M JUST THAT HILARIOUS, YOU GUYS!

Anyway, so, I was at the meeting, and I had to sit next to South Italy, or Romano, or whatever the hell they call him.

And he was all like, "Why do you smell like grease?" And I thought he meant Greece like the country, so I was all, "Because I hung out with him the other day." And Romano was all, "Not what I meant, and, that's disgusting that you haven't showered in 3 or 4 days, or whatever." Stupid Catholics, and their regular bathing. So sue me! I've been busy! BUSY! So, anyway, back to the meeting...He found my secret stash of tater tots in my pocket! I learned from Napoleon Dynamite, yo! So, he was all, "Hmph. I can't believe you brought fried potatoes to an event like this." Well, then I was freaking out! Germany has a no eating policy. And you already know I'm scared of Germany! So, I smacked Romano's head against the table! THE TABLE! It like, cracked the wood, dude!

So Germany was like, "America! What is ze meaning of this?" And I was like, "I have this muscle problem that makes me twitch invountarily!" I know! I totally said involuntarily! The way Britain looked at me after that, I thought his eyes were gonna pop out of his head! Come to think of it...everybody kinda looked like that...Weird...

ANYWAY! Romano had to go to the hospital! I KNOW! I'm THAT strong! No surprise. A hero's gotta be buff, right? HAHA! But now Italy's even more afraid of me...he didn't even offer to make me pasta this time...AND HE MAKES THE BEST!

So, Britain is all on my ass about almost causing a war...yada yada yada...He said some other shit...but I zoned out. All I could think about was eating a cheeseburger, and drinking a milkshake...yeah...that's the best...

Is it wrong that I just got hard thinking about food?

HAHA! Yeah right? Like that's EVER wrong!

OMG! So, I almost forgot to tell you! This morning...when I woke up...RUSSIA WAS IN MY BEDROOM! Just staring at me with that creepy ass smile.

And do you know what he said to me when I asked him why he was there?

"Just waiting for when you become one with mother Russia."

Now, I'm gonna be honest, Bill...I don't know what the hell that means. And I don't really care to know. All I can think about when I remember that sentence is, "Did a giant dude like him, really just call himself a mother?" I'm so confused! Wouldn't he be "Father Russia"? He is a dude. And typically, dudes are not mothers. Just sayin'.

So, anyway, then, I told him to get the hell out of my house! I still don't know how he got in. And I don't think I wanna know. Its creepy! Like, they need to lock that guy up. For reals.

Oh, by the way...I finally got Tony to talk to me today. And you know what he said to me? DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME?

He said he hung out with PRUSSIA! And he told him about the dress incident! Its only a matter of time before EVERYONE knows! I can't believe it! I was so pissed! If I wouldn't have been so distracted by the ant crawling on the counter behind him, I would've yelled curse words at him. And he would've KNOWN it was on!

K. I think I've had enough today, Bill. I've got some ice cream in the fridge that needs some eating, and a raging boner I need to take care of...

SEE YA NEXT TIME, BUD!

...

Yeah...I might've taken it a little far in this chapter. But, I promise, that's the worst its going to get. I think. =P

I know, two chapters in one night. Its pretty crazy. But, I wanted to give you guys a good idea of the story. You know, just how insane, and pointless America's journal entries are. I just don't see the guy being deep often. And I'd imagine, if he did keep a journal, there wouldn't be much excitement in there. Just a bunch of unrelated, and unorganized ideas. =]

And, I feel like it also helps that one of my managers at my job reminds me of America. For real. I'm pretty sure the creators of Hetalia based him off of this guy...

ANYWAY! You know what to do!

=P