Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, and I am not making any money from this story. A few lines in the second chapter are taken from the game script, but the rest is mine.
Lords of Niflheim
By BUTTEREDROSIE
Chapter One: Whispers
I didn't love Dirk, especially not at first. All I knew was that I was lonely and that he was supposed to be the replacement for the parents I'd lost. He had never concealed my origins, so I've always known that he found my mother half dead beneath a cliff with me crying in her arms and my father nowhere to be found.
Being the only skilled dwarven craftsman around meant that Dirk was constantly swamped with jobs. He could afford to be selective, so he would only accept the most intricate and challenging of the commissions. Unfortunately, they were also the most time consuming. He could rarely spare time for entertaining a child. We lived too far away from Iselia for me to play with any of the village children very often, so my early childhood was a solitary one. The only time that I can remember in which he displayed a significant amount of interest in me was when he had been attempting to unlock the secrets of my mother's exsphere. He never figured out anything momentous, but I did end up with a key crest for it. I constantly wore the exsphere from then on, maybe out of some misplaced affection for my mother or a desire to feel connected to her.
On the sixth anniversary of the day Dirk found me (since we didn't know what my birthday was) I was swimming in the river with some of the villagers' children. My guardian had been too busy engraving an ornate statue to actually celebrate the date, but he allowed for me to meet with some friends. Inured to such inattention by then, I hadn't cared much about the lack of festivity.
It's strange, but even now, years later, my memory of the event remains shockingly clear, somehow exempt from the blurring effect of time. I had been splashing around in the slow moving river near Dirk's house (I never thought of it as home) with Colette and a few others when the shadows first made their presence known. Feeling daring, I swam further out than any of the others, toward the center of the river. I didn't spot the rapid until it had already caught me. I remember that no one noticed my predicament at first. Colette was the first one to let out a shriek upon realizing how quickly the waters were pulling me away downstream, spluttering and gasping for air.
This stands out in my memory as the first time I felt true, mortal terror. I had heard stories of foolish and disobedient children drowning in this very river, their bodies never recovered. Images of my own lifeless, blue corpse flashed across my mind as I struggled desperately against the current. The indomitable rapids tugged my clothes and limbs like arms, pulling me under the surface for ever increasing increments of time. It was just as I was rounding a bend near some overhanging trees that it happened. Somehow, miraculously, a huge limb of one of the trees broke and fell. One end of it was wedged immovably between two trunks, but the other splashed into the waters in front of me. I crashed into it and caught hold, dizzy with fear and coughing my lungs up.
As soon as I was able, I pulled myself along the branch, inch by strenuous inch. When I finally reached the bank, I collapsed against the mossy ground, panting and shaking with adrenaline. I had thought, for a fleeting moment right before the branch fell, that I had seen something moving in the shadows among the trees, but when I lifted my head to look for my possible savior, I was alone. My friends' frantic cries increasing in volume as they approached drove the matter from my mind, to be all but forgotten while I was rushed away by worried and chastising parents. At home, I received a stern rebuke from Dirk, but his statue's siren call made it short-lived.
That was first of many appearances of a subtle, seemingly benevolent force in my life. It re-emerged to protect me from harm and aid me in small, barely noticeable ways. I even began to think that I had a guardian angel, perhaps my mother's spirit, looking out for me. As I grew older, my phantasmal protector involved itself in my daily life more and more. I began to notice the strange, moving shadows around me, reinforcing the apparition that I thought I had seen at the river. No one but me seemed able to perceive the shadows, something which pleased me immensely. For the first time, I felt loved and watched over. I had something of my own, a guardian whose attention was entirely focused on me.
It was a year until they first spoke to me. I was sitting against the trunk of a tall oak tree behind the house, watching drowsily through half-lidded eyes as the shadows swirled sluggishly around me. I had gotten used to their nearly opaque forms and the faint hissing I sometimes thought I heard. I was nearly asleep when the whispers started, almost too faint to be audible. At first the breathy voices didn't register in my lethargic mind, but they grew steadily louder and louder until the words were discernable.
"Lloyd…" It sounded like a thousand different voices combined speaking in the same soft, cajoling tone. "Come with us, Lloyd. What ties you to this place? You have no family, no loved ones here. To the villagers you will always be an outsider and an orphan. Would any of them even notice if you left?"
By this point I was entirely awake and staring wide-eyed at the languidly moving shadows before me, slightly fearful. After all, hadn't the Pastor just been preaching to us about demons and their insidious ways of tempting people to sin? But what the shadows were saying was right…
"Come with us! We can give you love and power and a place to call home. Everything you desire will be at your fingertips!"
Feeling guilty, I averted my eyes and mumbled, "Please go away. I'm not supposed to talk to you…"
"Oh you poor child… You have so much potential in you. You are wasted here. We can teach you how to achieve greatness…"
I shifted uneasily. My enigmatic companions had never behaved in any way that seemed evil or sinful, and they had never harmed me, but something about the situation just didn't feel right.
When I failed to respond, the voices reverted to unintelligible murmurs, seemingly conversing among themselves. I hastily got to my feet and went back to the house, silently reaffirming my decision to never inform anyone about the mysterious shadows that followed me and whispered in my ear.
Things continued in pretty much the same manner as before, the shadows my constant companions, slowly weakening my resolve with their relentless coaxing. It wasn't until I was twelve that I got a glimpse of their true nature.
That was the year in which I began my martial training in earnest. Dirk, in a rare display of consideration, had made me two wooden katanas. I carried them around with me everywhere and even persuaded one of the few town guards to teach me. It gave me something to focus on, and the shadows were strangely helpful. They gave me advice about how to clear my mind draw out the powers of the exsphere to improve myself. Thanks to their influence and some amount of natural talent, I quickly became familiar with my weapons. I spent every spare moment practicing katas or hunting small monsters in the woods.
That was also the year when Genis and Professor Sage came to Iselia. We hadn't had a school before then, and all of the parents quickly seized upon the opportunity to get their kids out of the way by enrolling them. The Professor taught reading and writing to those who didn't yet know how, as well as math and the history of Sylvarant. She was considered invaluable to the village, and the Mayor even proposed the construction of a separate schoolhouse for her to show his favor.
I was walking back from the grocery store after class one day when I heard voices coming from behind the Mayor's house. Recognizing the shrill, penetrating voice of the Mayor's daughter, I snuck closer to investigate. I peered around the corner of the house, my bag of groceries clutched close to my chest, and caught sight of Colette's hunched form. She was sniffling softly and staring at the ground as the other girl sneered at her.
"Stupid Colette! What did you ever do to deserve the title of Chosen? I'm twice as good at everything but Daddy still pays more attention to you! I hate you!" I could see Colette's shoulders shaking.
I was enraged. Out of all of us children, Colette was indisputably the sweetest and most friendly. If anyone deserved the honor of being the Chosen, it was her. What right did that brat have to pester her with petty jealousies?!
I knew that Colette would never try to protect herself from this girl, so I rushed out of my hiding place, startling them both.
"Leave her alone!" I yelled, brandishing a carton of milk menacingly.
Unwilling to face any real opposition, the Mayor's daughter fled. I scoffed at her cowardice and turned back to my friend. "Are you alright?" I asked, trying to make my voice as gentle as possible.
"Y-yeah… I'm fine. She was just talking to me…"
I looked at her in disbelief. "It looked like more than just talking from where I was standing."
She blushed and looked away before quietly saying, "Thanks, Lloyd."
I put as much warmth into my smile as I could and then offered to walk her home. Colette was like a little sister to me. She was one of the few villagers to never treat me like an outsider, and consequently one the few who I felt any actual loyalty to.
I got cuffed on the ear for getting home late, but I went to sleep that night with a smile and a warm feeling. I decided that I liked protecting Colette. It was nice to be useful.
It became clear in the following weeks that despite my efforts, the Mayor's daughter persisted in her tormenting of Colette. I immediately launched a retaliatory campaign, with the shadows' help. They made it easy to strike back against the girl in minor ways, like sabotaging her test answers and confusing her by misplacing belongings. And the best part was that my connection to her problems was untraceable. I always had an alibi.
Professor Sage had taken the class was on a rock climbing field trip when the contention came to a head. Almost everyone was already halfway up the side of the cliff we were scaling before Colette even left the ground. Her ropes were all firmly attached, but she remained at the base of the rocky wall, staring up in terror. Once she had finally gathered her courage and begun the ascent, the Mayor's daughter leaned over to Colette's rope and snapped it loudly against the rock, yelling "Look out! Your rope broke!"
Colette screamed and fell back to the ground as her antagonist shrieked with malicious laughter.
I narrowed my eyes at the despicable girl and seethed with anger. Desensitized to their presence by then, I didn't notice the approach of one of my shadowy companions until it began whispering softly.
"Look at that loathsome child… she'll get what she deserves. The chit had better be looking to her own rope. See how close it is? Quickly now, use your boot knife. All you have to do is reach over, and you'll be able to put an end to this annoyance for good."
I froze, horrified and disbelieving. "No!" I hissed back. "What the hell?!"
"What's wrong? This is the perfect opportunity, while all the attention is on your friend. Don't you want to protect her? At this rate, you'll never be strong enough to defend her on her journey as Chosen."
"Just shut up! She's just a girl! I'm not going to hurt her!"
"Fine. If you won't, then I will."
I felt my chest constrict in horror as the shadows flowed away from me and darted toward the still-laughing girl's safety line. I tried to scream a warning, but choked on the words because I was too late and everyone was shocked silent as she tumbled toward the ground, her rope snapping uselessly behind her.
The Mayor's daughter was fine, her worst injury being a fractured wrist, and the entire incident was labeled a freak accident or some sort of karmic retribution for the prank she had played on the Chosen.
But I knew the truth, and returned home that day shaking and disillusioned. The spirits that had haunted me for half my life actually were the demons that we had been warned so gravely about. They had put on an attractive mask at first, seeming to be benevolent and devoted to me, but their true face was finally showing through.
I was terrified. If my friends and the other villagers found out that I had been speaking to demons for years, they would drive me out. They already mistrusted me for being an outsider, but for this offense they might even kill me. I couldn't count on Dirk to protect me.
When the shadows tried to speak to me again, I covered my ears and pretended they weren't there.
I began to act twice as good-natured and simple around people, frantically hoping that if I was thought to be sufficiently stupid and idealistic, no one would possibly suspect me of consorting with fiends. I threw myself wholeheartedly into my new role, quickly forming a trio with Colette and the Professor's little brother, Genis. I allowed him to be the smart one of the group so that I could appear even more dim-witted in comparison. I deliberately did poorly in classes and cultivated my façade of laziness and academic apathy.
I found that if I concentrated hard enough on the people around me, and strove to ignore the spirits that shadowed my steps, I could hear their voices less clearly. Realizing the futility, they spoke less and less often to me, and eventually stopped altogether.
The only one of my habits that I maintained was my swordsmanship, though it was difficult to learn it all on my own, without any input from the demons. I was still resolved to follow Colette and aid her on her journey one day.
In the end, the shadows seemed to recognize their complete loss of influence over me, and they faded quietly into the background. They were always present, somewhere, but I saw them less frequently. As I grew older, they disappeared for ever increasing periods of time, though they never seemed to give up on me entirely.
Finally, around my sixteenth birthday, I began to hope that they had abandoned me for the last time. It had been over a month since I had last noticed their presence. I was quite comfortable with my role by then, too accustomed to playing the dim-but-loyal friend to ever consider dropping the act. I guess that my public persona had become a part of me, on some level. That's not to say that I was even remotely as stupid as I acted, but I think that if you pretend to be something for long enough, it begins to seep into you, and the act stops being quite as fake as it was in the beginning.
I was happy. My sword skills were the best they'd ever been; Colette, Genis, and I were unbreakable; and I was enjoying pretending not to learn the lessons Professor Sage taught us.
By the time I was seventeen and Colette was called upon by the Oracle, I had finally almost forced myself to forget about the shadows that had haunted my every action for most of my life.