Ways To Piss Off Emmett Cullen Chapter 2: Prank 2, a twilight fanfic

Author's Note: Alice is still tearing Emmett's hair out, so this chapter will be in her point of view again. She's still an "evil pixie" and fortunately for her, it's been one week since the last "incident" and Emmett totally forgot.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Alice. Some credit goes to Lennon Drop for inspiration.

Prank #2

Alice's POV

I looked over my very organized plans again and smirked. Perfect! Emmett would be totally oblivious. I got a vision of what was going to happen, and silently cheered. This was going to work out just the way I wanted.

I called Rosalie and Esme to being the plan. Esme wanted to help to have revenge on Emmett for all the times he broke her walls, doors, tables, chairs, etc. Rosalie wanted to help just to torture her husband.

The two women disappeared in an instant and Bella came in with Edward trailing her like a lost puppy.

"What's going on here?" Bella asked suspiciously. I shrugged and gave her my innocent look.

Edward tried to read my mind, but I was too quick for him. I blocked my mind by reciting the U.S. Constitution, which I memorized in ten different languages. "It was nothing," I said. I began chanting in my head, We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union...

"Stop it, Alice!" Edward moaned, grabbing his head. He'd heard me recite that at least a thousand times before. "Are you okay upstairs?"

Uncomfortably, I answered, "I'm fine. I was just having a bit of fun like I always do." ...insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare... Edward was getting irritated.

"Just a word of advice, don't go into Rosalie's room," was all I said. But my mind stayed blank, ...do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America...

The two left, clearly frustrated with me. Good. That was two out of the way. Carlisle was at the hospital, doing God knows what. Now, all I had to do was distract Jasper, and then my plan could go into action...

Ten minutes later, my very stubborn husband was in the woods, happily drinking another meal. Now, all I have to do now was prank Emmett...

Esme walked into the dining room, where Emmett was playing video games. "Die, human, die!" he said, over and over again. I think Bella would have been insulted, and Edward would have broken the video game.

I was currently hiding behind the table, and I wondered how Emmett couldn't see "the evil pixie" as he called me.

"Emmett," Esme called softly. Emmett grunted in reply, sounding like a drowsy grizzly bear. "Emmett," Esme sighed. "Rosalie wants you in your room, and you know no one else goes in your room without your permission."

Emmett grumbled all the way upstairs, but I knew he was secretly excited. He opened the door to his room and peered in cautiously. It was empty.

He, being Emmett, opened the bathroom door. Everyone knows that you should NEVER open the door when Rosalie is taking a bath. (Of course, this was all part of my plan, which Rosalie was in on.) We heard a screech from Rosalie and a crash.

"Wuz goin' on?" Jasper mumbled in his Texas drawl. He came back from hunting a bit dazed by all the blood in him.

We heard another crash, then had the pleasure of seeing Rosalie torture Emmett for walking in on her while she was bathing. (She wasn't really "bathing", she was just sitting on the sink waiting for Emmett and complained that he was trying to sneak in on her.) Poor, poor Emmett. His punishment was to be locked out of the room for the restof the week. He could not even look at Rose or one of us would whack him upside the head.

Chuckling with delight, I put the second part of my plan into action.

Later that night...

"Boo!" I called, jumping out at Emmett. He jumped twenty feet into the air and whirled around in fright. He would have had a heart attack if his heart was still beating.

He growled at me and turned away, back to staring longingly at the door of his ex-room.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. "Boo!" I shrieked again, jumping on Emmett's back. He jumped ten feet his time, but hey, he still jumped. He glared at me, but said nothing, still too mad to speak.