Uchiha Jon was shaving his chidori beard and manscaping when a knock the door caused him to cut a little too much of his chidori off. "The fuck is it?" he swore (cause this is rated M, and he's a little older now, maybe?) and whipped around.
"Someone's for you," came the voice of that stupid Vegan Kid Trunks, who had tried to kill the awesome Jon Uchiha.
"Fine, whatever," Jon said. He put his beard away and walked through the door.
Downstairs was Batman!
"I need your help, Uchiha Jon," graveled the bat man.
"What about me?" Vegan Kid Trunks asked, pointing to his face that had caked on black paint (it was much more gothik that way).
"Who the fuck are you, kid?" Batman asked. Batman had a serious face on. Despite most of it being covered, you could tell he was not amused. Somehow the eye holes moved with his glare.
"It's me! Trunksu! You taught me the ways of the Bat-shotgun, remember?" Vegan Kid Trunks said, jumping about and waving his arms like a humming bird.
"No idea," Batman replied. "Get the fuck out of my face, you cheezy cheetos shit."
"See, you do know!"
"Fuck off, kid!" Batman spin bat-kicked kid trunks.
kid Trunks cried, then lit his hair on fire and ran around, spreading the fire to drapes and tampons and other shits. It kept growing back though, so the fire never ended until Vegeta appeared and blew the fire up (along with Trunks head, but it regrew, cause Super Saiyan-jin Vegan Vampires are True Immortal).
(AN: Vegan Kid Trunks is really op, and has the potential to be the strongest character ever. It is too bad he is a tiny insexure shit, or perhaps good for Jon, cause then Jon wouldn't be the most awesome. You can choose your own adventure there.)
So, Jon high fived Vegeta (cause fuck kid trunks, am I right?) and the two double teamed Bulma. But that was just a dream, cause Kid Trunks is fucked in the head.
"So, I heard that comedian ralphy may died cause he had high blood pressure and heart disease. Who would have guessed?" Uchiha Jon asked Batman as they walked out the door.
"Me. Because I am the Goddamn Batman," Batman graveled.
Jon was wondering how a bat man could be so dumb. Jon was obviously being a sarcastic jerk. Maybe that was just Batman's sense of humor?
"So, Uchiha Jon," the bat man said, "have you a grapple beam?"
"No, but I don't need one. I can fly, because I am Super Saiyan," Jon explained.
"That's not how ki works. Anyways, if you're gunna chill with me, you need a bat-beam. Here," Batman said and handed Jon an extension cord.
Jon held the extension cord in his hands, looking at it like "wtf am I to do with this?" but then he shrugged, cause he's awesome, and used it to grapple off of clouds. "Woah, neat," Jon exclaimed.
"Day 32. Found a new partner. Too bad about the others, but they were weak. Fuck them. Hope this kid does better. The pitch of night is dark, like the deepest depths of Satan's asshole, and the air makes it hard to see, as if there is no light. Because it's dark, and I'm the dark knight. Get it?" Batman monologue as he swung through the buildings and trees.
"The hell are you going on about?" Jon asked as he started to get a really bad feeling about this Batman dude.
"I'm narrating. What of it?" Batman said totally serious-like, like aids, or a 500 pounds man dying because of high blood pressure.
"You're crazy! And stop being offensive, narrator! It's too soon!"
"I'm crazy, and you're talking to the narrator? The fuck, dude? I thought you was my bro."
It was just then that Jon understood. This wasn't batman, but rather Crazy Steve, Frank Miller's All-Star Batman!
Shit, thought Jon. I'm gunna fuckin die.
"Down there," Crazy Steve said, pointing to the back of a small child running down an ally.
"Robin?" asked Jon.
"What? No. Suspect," Batman graveled, unaware that Jon was referring to the fact that the child was apparently running down an "ally" and not an "alley."
Batman leapt down, kicking the small child in the back, and smashing it into the ground.
"Holy fuck!" shouts Jon Uchiha. His eyes are big as he looks on.
Batman picks up the small child by the head. It was a little girl. "WHERE ARE THE DRUGS?!" he screams into her face, shooting spittle and foam all over the little girl.
The little girl starts to cry.
"Stop it, Crazy Steve, shouts Jon," Jon shouted loudly.
"The fuck Jon? I thought you was my bro?" Batman says, glaring, but also surprised. "I thought you understood?"
"She's just a kid!"
"A kid. With drugs. Two nights ago I saw her watching her parents do coke in the back of a van."
"How the hell does that mean anything?!"
"Everyone in gothim is on drugs!" explains crazy steve. He begins to cry.
"Crazy steve, are you on drugs?" Jon asks sympathetically. He didn't really care, but fuck it, he's a bit of a sociopath.
"N-no! No way! I am batman! Batman don't do the drugs!" Batman says while doing a line off a hooker's ass.
"What about that one time with Venom..."
"We don't talk about that!" batman shouts, glaring. "He should of just stayed in marvel!"
Suddenly, the Joker appears, and Crazy Steve throws the little girl through a window. "watch out!" he shouts as her face goes through pain glass.
Batman, raged up, gets into like a sumo wrestler stance and charges at the Joker.
But it isn't just any joke! Fuck no, it's Samurai X playing the Joker!
"Hahaha!" Jokes Joker, grabbing the little girl out of the pain glass window shards. He holds up katana sword to her face. "Surrender now, batman, or she dies!"
"No, Miss Himura! It's not batman, it's insane stevey, and he don't give a fuck!" shouts Uchiha Jon, now getting emotional, cause he don't like seein lil girls get hurt, cause he is a nice guy like that.
"I am a dude!" shouts Miss Himura.
"But you looks like woman and sounds like woman!"
"Not in the dub, fucker!" shouts Himura as he starts to slash the japanese katana sword across little girl throat.
Jon gleams his uchiha eyes and goes Super Saiyan. In but one texatrillionth of a texa second, he breaks the katana, kills Miss Himura, and puts Crazy Steve in jail.
"Thanks, Uchiha Jon," the little girl says. She then grows up into a super hot chick and they fuck.