TWoO Chapter two:
Disclaimer: I own not the TMNT nor anything therein affiliated. I only torture them for the sake of entertainment!
"Raphael, bring a cold compress," Master Splinter instructed upon learning how his second youngest wound up laid out upon the couch, out cold. "Leonardo, please go gather blankets and softer pillow for Donatello, and Michelangelo," He turned to the youngest, who suddenly found the floor very fascinating, "-As this was brought about by your instigation, please go clean up the mess in your brother's room." Raphael smirked at a chagrined and flustered Mike as he laid the fresh compress on Don's bruised forehead. That, unfortunately for him, did not go unnoticed by the wizened rat, who fixated a solid look of annoyance on him.
"Raphael, as it was your rash decision to slam the door, you will assist your brother in cleaning up Donatello's lab." Raph groaned, and Mike stuck his tongue out at him. "Enough, my sons!" The rat smacked his cane on the ground, as the two slunk out of the den to Donnie's lab and the awaiting mess. It had taken them a solid three minutes to pull all the electronic junk and books off of him, as well as a considerable dose of Raph's strength to hoist him to the couch. Leonardo watched his brothers leave, their eyes sending taunts between them, and rose to follow. A hand arrested his efforts.
"Leonardo," Master Splinter said, his soft, furry voice calm. "I want you to watch over your brother, and please inform me immediately if anything else occurs."
"Yes Master Splinter." Leonardo acquiesced, bowing. Splinter patted his arm and shuffled back into his railcar, presumably to meditate.
Leo turned back toward his brother, who was beginning to twitch in his sleep. Beads of perspiration formed on Don's face, and he murmured something unintelligible in his blacked out state.
"Donnie?" Leo whispered, gently placing a hand on his unconscious brother's plastron. "Donnie, c'mon wake up…"
A twitch and a grunt was his only reply.
"Oh for cripes sake!" Donnie complained, as yet more golden bricks unfurled before him, after cresting what seemed like the fiftieth hill in two hours. After escaping the Munchkins he soon tired of running, opting for a more energy conserving walk with Klunk trotting along beside him, straying after an errant butterfly once and again.
Squinting at the expanse of rich green cornfields fields sandwiching the dratted road he'd chosen to take, the hope that he'd find the Wizard and get the heck out of Ooze (before his brain overloaded from the nonsensical apparitions and complete lack of logic this dream world embraced so fully) vastly diminishing as he realized it would be later rather than sooner.
"Corn. Go figure." He muttered, a pained expression flitting through his eyes as the fields stretched across his line of sight, with nary else to see save for a few far-distant houses dotting the landscape like chips in a cookie. Sighing, he began trudging down the road towards the beckoning horizon, sweating in his ruby socks from the sweltering heat of the too large, too yellow sun above.
"You guys really owe me, after all this is done."
"Why do I feel like I'm not going anywhere?" Don muttered, breathing heavily and wondering how much longer he could stand counting the rows of corn as he passed through the farmland. He also wondered how a reptile, even a mutated one, could produce sweat, let alone this much. He'd had to remove his socks not twenty minutes after he began his trek- they'd been thoroughly soaked from the sweat dripping down his front, back, everything!
Nonetheless, Don urged his reluctant body forward despite its protests for water and reprieve from the unforgiving rays beating down from above. Klunk panted in his ear, perched yet again in the nook between Don's neck and carapace lip hiding in what little shade it provided, licking the sweat from Don's neck and shoulders in an attempt to hydrate.
Something glimmered in the distance. A shimmer of gray danced about, teasing at the very limit of the dripping turtle's vision. Could it be?
It was.
A junction not far up on the road offered not only a dilapidated shack surrounded by scrawny trees, providing an abundant source of shade to hide out from the sun and cool down in, but an old fashioned well! Don took off at a rambling shuffle, eager to take advantage of the blessed shelter ahead.
"Water!" Donnie praised, thanking the stars before he upended the full well bucket over his head. Klunk, who'd been cat-napping, spluttered his protest and darted off to the shade to cool off, clean off, and reclaim some of his dignity. "Cool, clean, beautiful water!" He exhaled deeply, savoring the feel of the crisp liquid coursing down his overheated self.
Filling another bucket, Donnie drank his fill with slightly less abandon than before, sending small rivulets of water splashing down his chin and neck, until he was satisfied.
"Hi!"
Donnie whirled about, causing his overfilled stomach to turn, and belched loudly.
"Wow dude, that's was way wicked! I give that one a six- maybe seven. Great projection and sound, but like, too short to rate more!"
Don frowned, unstrapping his Bo as he circled still seeking out the mysterious speaker. 'Where could he be... the shack?'
"Yo dude, up here." Don's head whipped around to the source of the voice and looked up... and up... and up, squinting into the shadowed face of a scarecrow tied to a pole, light from the sun behind it giving off a halo effect.
"Hey dude, could you give me a hand?" The shadowy scarecrow asked, wriggling against the pole. "I'd like to get down, man. Nothing up here but crows and blackbirds!" He giggled, "It's all 'cheep cheep' and 'caw caw' to them. No senses of humor at all, dude."
Don fought back the urge to smack himself a few times with his staff, gazing at the straw-stuffed giggle-box in disbelief. A few crows landed on its outstretched arms, jabbering loudly at each other, pecking at the poor creature's stuffing.
"Hey! Bird brain, leave the stuffin alone, ya hear? I'm already wastin' away as it is!"
"Hang on, I'll get you down," Don said, trotting over to the captive. Climbing up the pole he worked the lower knots on the pole loose, freeing its feet, which immediately began kicking at the air. Don swatted them out of the way, working his was over to the knots binding the arms to the crosspiece, and almost instantly got attacked by a wave of blackbirds intent on defending their territory.
CAWCAWCAWCAW!!!
"Yaaah!" Don shouted waving one hand about in an attempt to free the air about him of black feathers and fluff, legs firmly wrapped around the pole as his other finished freeing the scarecrow from his prison. The blackbirds were having none of it and doubled their efforts, cawing for reinforcements, pecking savagely at exposed flesh and straw.
"AGH! GET THESE BIRDS OFFA ME!" The scarecrow shrilled, jerking about furiously in an attempt to escape the aggressive avians streaking about in a manner akin to that of the popular film 'The Birds'. The final knot parted and the two tumbled into a heap at the foot of the pole, the green one cursing yet another lump added to his collection.
"Get your elbow out of my face!"
"Dude, your foot is in my ear! Yuck!"
"Look out!" Don cried as the flocking blackbirds began a dive bombing run, peppering them with little bird presents.
"Oh YUCK!" Don cried in revulsion as white goop trickled from his left shoulder down his arm. "That's disgusting!" he shouted at the birds, who replied with a resounding "CAW".
"Over here dude!" The scarecrow called, stumbling over to the shack Klunk had taken up residence in. Hastily ducking under a barrage of angry bird shit, Don executed a tuck and roll through the open door, which the scarecrow quickly slammed shut lest the blackbirds follow them in.
"Oh man, look at you!" The scarecrow pointed at Don, the other arm wrapped around his belly, as if to contain his mirth. Don scowled from his spot on the floor, a patina of dust added to the drippy mess he was coated in, thanks to his escape maneuver.
"Oh shut up, you overstuffed bag of garbage, you're no better off- MIKEY?!" Don's gaze went from the window to the scarecrow, who shuffled into a stream of light filtering through crack in the wall, eyeballs nearly escaping his head as his younger brother's mischievous face peered out at him from under the brim of the ratty hat. "What the heck are YOU doing here?" he paused, seeing Mike's blank look "Stupid question, never mind."
"Who's Mike, dude?" His 'brother' asked, slumping to the left as that leg gave out, straw spilling over the floor. Don hurried over to help him up. "Thanks, dude!" Don gave him a look, and Mike giggled as his right leg suddenly went down, leaving Don to support his full weight. This wasn't much, really, because apparently his brother was made of straw.
'What's next?' Don thought sarcastically, inwardly rolling his eyes. 'Raph in a dress as the evil queen and Leo in armor?' He shook his head clear of the disturbing images. 'Gods, I hope not!'
"Yow!" Mike-the-scarecrow yipped as a button came loose on his plaid shirt, straw spilling everywhere and thinning his frame out considerably. "Dude, quick! Help me get myself together! A scarecrow without straw wouldn't be any kind of scarecrow at all!"
Don snickered, thinking of how Mikey back in the sewers would react to such dramatic weight loss. Probably whine and carry on about how he needed to make up for it with pizza and ho-ho's. A new sound (or lack thereof) reached the keen turtle's ears- dead silence.
Hastily stuffing the shirt with what clean straw he could recover from the floor and securing the button, Don released Mike-the-scarecrow (who promptly fell over) and peered out of the dust-streaked window to see if their trappers were still out and about. A shuffling indicated that Mike-the-scarecrow had dragged himself upright. Falling across the turtle's shoulders, he looked out the window as well, gasping at the scene before him.
Birds were everywhere. On corn stalks, the scarecrow pole and crossbar, the road, the roof- a massive carpet of moving black. Watching.
Waiting.
"Right, and that's not creepy." Mike-the scarecrow gulped, lurching away from the window to sit on a rough wooden stool, absently picking at the straw at his wrist. "So, like, what brings you to this part of Ooze?" He asked, tilting his head sideways at Donnie.
"I dunno, really." Don replied, turning to face Mike-the-scarecrow. He leaned against the windowsill, stroking his chin in a pensive matter. "All I do know is I got hit on the head, and woke up here. April, I mean, Glinda's magic chalkboard said that I need to see the Wizard that supposedly lives in Emerald City." Don pointed over his shoulder out the window. "That road out there is supposed to take me there- hopefully that Wizard can get me to wake up, or something."
"Oh," Mike paused, concentrating hard on remembering where he'd heard of that before, face brightening a moment later. "Emerald city!" He exclaimed, "I've heard of that!" A blank look crossed his face, and he peered at Don, as if seeing him for the first time, again. "What's your name?"
"You already know my name, Mike!" Don said, forgetting his surroundings for a second. Mike-the-scarecrow gave him a fish-eyed look.
"Dude, I just met you. How the heck am I supposed to know your name? And why do you keep calling me "'Mike'?" Don gave an exasperated sigh.
"I hate this place" He mumbled before addressing Mike-the-scarecrow.
"My name is Donatello or Donnie for short." He crossed his arms. "If Mike's not your name, then what is?"
Mike opened his mouth to respond, and then paused, a look of intense concentration crossing his face.
"Uh," He floundered, "I'm not sure." Had this been an anime, Don would have face planted.
"You don't even know your name?" he asked, slapping a hand over his eyes. "Yeah, you're definitely Mikey."
Mike-the-scarecrow smiled. "Okay, my name is Mike! MikeMikeMikeMi-" Don clamped a hand over his mouth to quiet him. "Mmph!"
"Listen, Mike, it's been fun and all, but-" He looked out the window at the birds and swallowed, "I really need to get going. Like I said, I'm trying to get to Emerald City and see if the Wizard can get me the shell out of Ooze and back to my lair, my computer, my gadgets and junkyard trips..." He trailed off wistfully, eyes glazing over as he grew lost in memories. Memories of fixing his first appliance (a microwave), his first invention (the shell cell), to the most recent breakage of the TV... courtesy of Michelangelo, of course. And then there was the time…
"Dude? DUUUUDE... wakey wakey dude!" Mike waved his hand, snapping him out of his reverie.
"Anyway, I gotta go." Don's gaze raked the humble shacks interior, searching for an escape route from the evil dive-bombing birds from the seventh level of hell that would keep him from getting coated in more nastiness. His plan was chasing its tail upstairs when Mike's voice piped up again.
"Hey! I've got a brilliant idea!"
"What's that?" Don asked, not really paying attention.
"I'll go with you!"
"Say what?" Don asked, concentration broken, attention fully focused on Mike and the possible dire consequences of Mike's brilliant idea.
"I'll go with you to Emerald city!" Mike cheered, jumping from the chair and breaking out into a small jig. "Maybe the Wizard can help me too!"
Don gazed skeptically at the dancing scarecrow. "How could the Wizard help you?"
Mike stopped his jig, suddenly embarrassed. "Well... ya see... there this... Nevermind, you'd think it was stupid."
Don smiled. "C'mon Mike, you can tell me."
A glimmer of something, possibly hope, entered Mike's rich brown eyes. "You see... I've always wanted a brain. You know, so I could be smart. Like you are, Donnie!"
Don paused. This was definitely a version of Mike not often seen. Mike was the goofster that didn't have a care in the world! Where did he come up with this guy? Was this the maifestation of some wild hope he secretly harbored in his subconscious that Mike would one day choose to use the gray matter at his disposal? 'Not likely' Don thought, staring at Mike like he'd grown a second and third head. Mike's face fell. "You think he can't help me, don't you."
"Uh, no- I'm sure the Wizard can help." Don awkwardly assured Mike, causing a broad grin spread across the latter's face.
"All right!" Mike exclaimed, launching into an even more energetic dance than before, bursting into spontaneous song:
"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!" He sang with fervor, just off key enough to make Don flinch. His song continued even as Don called Klunk out of his hiding spot, who refused on the grounds of water induced humiliation at first, then came when it became apparent that they were about to leave.
"Are you coming or not?" Don called to the dancing Mike.
"Duh!"
"Well, hang on to your straw; we're going to have to run!"
Half an hour later, Don, Klunk (who, after being introduced to Mike found him to be an excellent walking plaything, to the scarecrow's chagrin), and Mike stopped their trek at a brook on the edge of a forest that somehow, maybe magically, appeared ahead of them around a bend in the road. Using the resource at hand, Don washed the caked remnants of their 'Battle of the Birds' away, taking a short break to lie on the sweet smelling grass to dry. The sun apparently hadn't moved since Don started his trip, as it was still as bright as noon, even after what seemed like hours passed by. Weird. Then again, what wasn't in this crazy mixed-up world of Ooze?
Clean and dry once more, the three continued their journey down the road through the forest, sticking close to the edge where trees (that appeared to grin, as what sounded like soft laughter rustled through the leafy green foliage) provided quick cover. Don's nerves began sending warning signals as motion caught the edge of his vision. He tripped, landing heavily, something quite unusual of someone with his ninja abilities.
"You okay dude?" Mike asked, extending a gloved hand to help him up. Don took the proffered hand, frowning as he looked at an inconspicuous tree standing close by. He could have sworn that root moved. Mike patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. 'Hey dude, it's okay. Balance can be difficult for me, too" He smiled, as his right leg wobbled a bit, causing him to lose his and fall. Don laughed at the irony, and helped him up, keeping one hand at Mike's elbow in case he began to take another spill. Mike giggled and linked his arm with Don's.
"What're you doing?" Don asked, apprehensive. Mike merely gave a broad grin and an even broader wink. His mouth opened:
"Weeeee're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Ooze. You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there was. If ever oh ever a Wiz! there was The Wizard of Ooze is one because Because, because, because, because, BECAUSE! Because of the wonderful things he does! We're off to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Ooze!"
A thought struck Don, sending a quiver of something akin to horror through him.
"Are you going to sing that awful song the ENTIRE trip, Mike?" Don asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.
"Indubitably!"
Don groaned. It was going to be a long trip.
Authors note: Okay, second chapter is done! Finally! Now what will await the traveler's next? rubs hands together