~f&i

disclaimer: not mine

AN: I forgot to accredit my beta ChrissyX who tried to ensure this made some sort of sense

~~f&i~~

Seven of Nine former Borg drone tried, unsuccessfully, to order her once nonexistent emotions.

Upon entering their home after the completion of eight hours of regeneration, Seven had noted the hydro shower running. Curious, since her spouse usually employed the sonic variation in the morning for efficiency, the former Borg had gone to investigate. Upon entering the bedroom she had frozen, assailed by a cacophony of emotions, following fast on the heels of a faint olfactory awareness.

The room smelled of sex, faint but unmistakable to enhanced senses. Seven recognized Kathryn's scent and that of another unidentified female. Tremulously she called out for her spouse, unsure what response she was seeking. Upon receiving Kathryn's reply the former Borg found herself fleeing to the living area to regroup.

The shower had just shut off and Seven tried to assess the situation as she listened to her Captain dressing.

Kathryn has copulated with someone else

Seven paused to quell the acidic jolt of inadequacy and fear that thought caused. Marginally calmer examination of the thought brought no insight to or explanations for her spouse's actions. The Borg apprehensively decided that more information was required and further contemplation without speaking to Kathryn would likely lead to erroneous results and increasing levels of fear and anxiety.

Turning her thoughts with difficulty from her wife's motivations, Seven began contemplating the other party involved. The scent had been vaguely familiar, which meant little on a ship this small, but Seven quickly focused on one main suspect.

Lt Torres was one of the few women on Voyager who interacted regularly with Captain Janeway, and also one of the few Kathryn called a friend. Reluctantly Seven noted that she would prefer the other party be B'Elanna Torres rather than an anonymous crewman from the lower decks. Despite their frequent confrontations, Seven respected the Klingon engineer. The Lieutenant would make an admirable mate and, unfortunately, a worthy opponent for Kathryn's affections.

It was this thought that Kathryn interrupted with her determined entrance. Seven turned to face her, quickly pressing her unruly emotions behind a mask of Borg logic

~~f&i~~

Kathryn studied Seven's stone expression from several steps away and the inescapable realization settled like lead in her stomach.

"You know." She forced past a tight throat.

The lead in her stomach was apparently causing a violent chemical reaction and Kathryn swallowed, afraid for a moment she might throw up.

"You have engaged in nonproductive copulation with another member of this crew."

Seven's confirmation was as tight as the Captains, and they both struggled for a moment in silence before Seven broke.

"Why?"

Kathryn felt the anguished tone like a blade and it cut through all her nerves, releasing the torrent of guilt. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she searched for words.

"I never meant, it just…oh god Seven, I never wanted to hurt you…"

"I was insufficient."

The cold, mechanical statement cut through Kathryn's stumbling speech like I gunshot.

"NO!" Kathryn's head jerked up in horror, bringing her gaze to land on Seven's crumbling features. Two short steps found Kathryn cradling Seven's tear stained face, piercing grey searching watery blue eyes.

"No, you're everything to me. I could never ask for more... I had no intention of this happening, it wasn't…" Kathryn grasped for words while her left hand absently wiped away tears, "it was a mistake, a moment of weakness."

"Please," her voice broke, desperation seeping in through the cracks "it won't happen again, I swear, please…"

Seven's arms wrapped around Kathryn's back, pulling her into a crushing embrace, burying her confusion and misery in still damp auburn hair while Kathryn stifled a few breathless sobs in the crook of her neck.

After an all too brief fortifying eternity, Seven pulled back to study Kathryn's face, hands coming up to grip the shorter woman's shoulders. After analyzing Kathryn's reactions, Seven's confusion was tipping the scales against her fear. Kathryn's words, demeanor, and the strength of her embrace had indicated no desire to terminate their relationship.

"I do not understand. If I am not an insufficient lover, why would you seek elsewhere for sexual satisfaction?"

"I didn't…" Kathryn trailed off, frustrated hands rising to scrub at the lingering evidence of tears before settling on Seven's hips.

When she looked back up to meet Seven's tentative gaze, she continued softly, "I didn't seek this out. Someone approached me. And they were in so much pain, I couldn't… it just happened so fast and I didn't think of the consequences, what it meant for us." Fresh tears filled the Captains eyes but Seven's hand moved to wipe them away, even as her brow furrowed in contemplation.

"Who?" She demanded flatly.

Janeway's own brow furrowed for a moment before settling in a guarded look.

"I don't think I can tell you that."

Seven's raised ocular implant stated incredulity.

Janeway set her jaw and the guarded look solidified into a determined one.

The ocular implant lowered and a slight frown marred fair features.

Janeway's determination evaporated into sudden uncertainty.

"Annika," She started tentatively, glancing down at the loose but comfortable embrace they had settled into, "I… are we… okay?"

Seven contemplated seriously for a moment before opening her mouth to speak.

Only to be interrupted by the Captain's comm Badge.

"Chakotay to Janeway"

Reflexively Kathryn answered, "Go ahead, Commander"

"Forgive me if I'm interrupting Captain, but alpha shift started ten minutes ago... Should I log you off duty for this shift?"

Kathryn opened her mouth to reply but Seven beat her to it.

"That won't be necessary, Commander. The Captain will be there shortly."

Ignoring the Captains consternation at being railroaded, Seven closed the channel before addressing the fear lurking in blue-grey eyes.

"I do not believe we are… 'okay'…" Kathryn's heart stuttered "but we will be. We must speak further on this matter, but I believe I need some time to… process... before we proceed."

"Seven, I don't want this to come between us-"

"You do not wish to terminate our relationship?" Seven interrupted bluntly.

"No! Wh-"

"We are in agreement. I also do not wish to terminate our relationship." Seven steamrolled on, "Everything else is… irrelevant, and can be dealt with after our duty shifts."

Kathryn's mouth opened and closed several times before an incredulous but relieved "Are you sure?" fell out.

"Yes." Seven responded resolutely with a decisive nod. "I must report to Astrometrics and you are expected on the bridge. We will continue this conversation at 1700 hours."

With that she leaned in for a soft, reassuring kiss before turning and striding out the door, leaving a confused Captain to gather her pips and report for duty.

~f&i