First i would like to say how sorry i am for the big gap between chapters. I have been busy writing and planning the the last six or seven chapters of Stolen HeART. I plan to write a few more chapters of Stolen HeART Outtakes to bring it in line with Stolen HeART. So please forgive me! I haven't been procrastinating just writing huge chapters.
Chapter 16 of SH will be here by the weekend its with my Beta now.
A little thank you to chocochipcookie for discovering SH and leaving such nice reviews. A thank you also to everyone that's put SH as a story alert or favorite.
Ladies of SH (you know who you are!!) i promise you some Frolicking fun, chapter 17 is a mammoth 13'500 words and chapter 16 isn't far behind. So please stick with me, i will never rush a chapter for the sake of it because i think you all deserve good and exciting fan fiction.
Stolen HeART Outtakes
Misgivings
Edward POV
Mike had always said that my aggression would one day bite me in the ass. I had always laughed at his idea of happiness and contentment and even though we had both gone through some dramatic personal traumas, we still saw things differently. That was until now. I had come to expect surprises and disappointment in life, hell I sometimes thrived on them but this, this wasn't good. This was unsettling and dangerous...
I knew from the moment she turned to look at me while she fumbled to open the shop door that she knew I had taken Jessica home, definitely, she'd heard the conversation between Jessica and me and that's why she had left the exhibition on Wednesday. Fuck. Is that why she lied? Is that why she told me that some older guy was her boyfriend? Christ, I had been so close to her lips, I should have just gone for it not hesitated, but it was those damn eyes of hers they just kept looking at me like they could see my soul. I knew that this time getting her out of my system wasn't going to be solved by some quick unsatisfying fuck from a whore. Jesus, I felt dirty just thinking about the things I wanted to do to her. What was wrong with me?
While I inwardly cursed my attitude that only seemed to contain aggression and my ability to be impatient, I wondered for a split second how I had fucked this up. I had only met her twice. Both times seemed to be fleeting and cryptic, her mixed signals confused me and my nerves always got the better of me. I was never one to shy away from a challenge, but she hypnotised me into someone else and that frightened me. I could see the things that Mike had spoken of, his endless conversation of his ideal future and his passion for life. Was that what this was?
I only knew at this precious moment the anxiety that I felt was dangerously close to bubbling over. She was with someone or so she claimed. He was the one that heard her moans and watched her come if what she said was true. I felt sick, sick that I had fucked this up.
With one last look back at where I had come from and a pitiful shake of my head, I walked away. With the traffic building up and my temper not subsiding, I decided to walk back to the office to try and cool off. We were going to walk in the park. I was going to hear her laugh when I told her a dumb joke, hold her hand as we crossed the road and kiss her goodnight when it was time to say goodbye. I was going to make her want to be in my company again and say yes to a second date. I was going to do all those things and more...
My experiences with women had never been all hearts and flowers. I never treated them badly, I just never cared. I had spent a fair few years of my adult life in ambiguous relationships, the many one night stands for the models that were here on a short visit. I never once thought of their backgrounds, if they had spouses or children. I never asked for their dreams or listened to their fears. I didn't need to. I didn't want to.
As I sat in my wide open office space, my world felt small. It felt different now. I didn't want to be known as the achiever or the up and coming future. It seemed inferior and pointless.
"Mr. Masen, are you ok?" I looked up to see my secretary peer round the door her concerned look was an alien expression to me and I wondered what she was thinking. Our professional relationship had never wavered, I respected her immensely and I could trust her with anything. As I looked up and contemplated her question, I had this feeling of confession, the urge to ask her to take the seat opposite me and listen to me prattle on about the emotions that this woman called Maria had stirred in me.
"I'm fine, Jenny, I just have a lot on my mind. You go on home I still have a few more things to finish up." She hesitated for a moment and I frowned, maybe she had seen through my fake facade.
"As long as everything is ok, I'll pack up and see you tomorrow." She threw me a small smile and I relaxed once I heard the door click shut.
I closed my email account not interested in work or answering personal invitations to mundane events and clicked on a search engine. If I couldn't yet spend time with her then I would find out as much as I could about her. Maria's stature intrigued me, she didn't seem like old money, but she was well renowned and people in the business spoke highly of her. Yet there were virtually no press cuttings or articles about her or her charity work. Maria's personal life was just as sparse, no photos of her with a man or any mention of her being married or in a relationship with the older guy from Saturday, which pleased me though I was loathed to know why. Maybe it was a new relationship and that's why there was no information or photos of them. I looked down at my uneaten take-out and the empty bottle of wine and sighed. I needed to step up my game. The quick found enthusiasm was short lived and I cringed when I looked back at today's events.
Her beautiful shiny hair that rested on her shoulders just right, the tight skirt that emphasized her flat stomach and the silk blouse that draped over her breasts. God, she was hot. I had thought of her every night since our first meeting. I had jerked off to every image I had filed away of her in my mind. This wasn't me. I hardly knew her I hadn't even slept with her. Yet I was willing to sacrifice my time to Google Maria Swan on her past, her present, even her fucking future. Her family background brought nothing to the surface which was a bit disappointing; I couldn't even find any record of her family's name. Was she an orphan like me?
With the Annual General Meeting scheduled for the middle of June, I had little time to think of Maria over the last few days. That wasn't to say she wasn't in my head. She always emerged in my sleep, just as I drifted off. My mind and body was at its weakest when she would appear. I would wake feeling drained and aroused which no amount of iced cold water from the shower head could erase. I had taken to jerking off in the shower just to realise the ache in my balls. It was becoming a routine that I was loathed to break.
I listed the day's agenda and emailed the information over to Jenny to arrange the necessary requirements and as I settled back in my chair, I frowned at the crisp white piece of paper that seemed to stand out on my desk. I'd just received a fax of the seating plan for the dinner before the art auction. Written in what looked like bold letters was her name along with mine seated at the same table, Maria Swan and Guest. The selfish child in me reared its ugly head and I now wished I had checked the guest box on my invitation all those months ago. I would have taken a hot uninteresting model with me so that I could have seen her reaction to my 'Guest'.
Would she react? Would she even care? Probably not, after Thursday's confrontation at her gallery and the advice from Tanya and Mike, I had begun to think this situation was just one sided. That it was just my infatuation with wanting to be in her company, dare I say her panties. Yes, those thoughts hadn't left my mind at all. They may appear more frequently every night but I could summon then at any time. They ranged from wanting to take her in the toilet cubicle at the art exhibition on Wednesday, to bending her over her assistant's desk on Thursday and taking her from behind.
Maybe she doesn't feel the same way that I do. I had thought after the fuck up on Saturday night that it was just lust, the want of what I couldn't have. But even Jessica could see what effect just mentioning her name did to me. The fact that I regretted the quick shag that's caused all this aggravation meant something.
I had arrived late, it hadn't been my intention, but the traffic had built up and the driver was forced to take a different route. With no one waiting in the main lobby I rushed straight through into the main reception area. There were so many people to wade through I wasn't expecting to see her until we were all seated.
It was only when I looked over at the bar that I spotted her. She looked relaxed and lively, very different from when I last saw her. Her style of dress was completely opposite of the long sophisticated number she wore to the last gala. This dress...this dress showed her long shiny moistened legs and I groaned at the easy access it would allow me. It was only when I saw her turn and face the person opposite her that I remembered she wasn't alone. He moved his hand gently towards her smile and her relaxed persona from a few minutes ago disappeared. The shy side of her, the side I was only fleeting blessed with seeing last Saturday, surfaced and I stood motionless, as I watched him gently place the small morsel of food on the edge of her lips. She held her small hand over her mouth to chew and he bent in to whisper in her ear.
For the short moment I stood there I felt the affect of my body reacting, my heart raced at the sight of him feeding her, and I felt the crack of my knuckles as I balled my hands into fists when he leaned into her. For a brief moment she looked embarrassed, almost scared and I watched her franticly observe the guests around her, hoping at some point her eyes would fall on me. If it wasn't for my addiction to see her I would have turned around and left, but the thought of being near her out weighted my leaving abruptly.
With the exception of Mrs. Black and her son approaching them at the bar for a brief and somewhat awkward conversation, Maria and her guest stood back and watched the crowd. As I took my place at the table, I felt my nerves from earlier start to awake. My choice to have little or no contact with this world would be my downfall this evening. I knew very few people who were seated at my table and I knew it would be impossible to have any sort of conversation with Maria.
I drank my third sip of wine in less than a couple of minutes. It was my intention to greet her once she had arrived at the table, to stand and give her my best if not flawed smile, but I had caught her movement. Her delicate ankles held her shimmering toned legs for all to see and with each tentative step she took her dress inched up and showed me more of her gorgeous smooth thighs. The fourth sip of wine wasn't for Dutch courage or to ease my nerves, it was to stifle the moan from leaving my lips.
She slowly lowered her sweet ass on to her chair and I watched while she familiarised herself with her surroundings. She peaked from under those fucking sexy lashes to take in the view and I prayed a silent pray that she would rest her eyes on me. She seemed uncomfortable, twitchy almost. A reassuring smile appeared on her face and I frowned at what caused her sudden nervousness to disappear. With the sudden introduction of a booming voice, I looked over to see the man that had been at the bar, the man that had touched her lips to feed her, the man that held her hand, and the man that now reassured her.
His crass introduction to the table seemed to amuse the ladies but irritated me. I watched as Maria shifted in her seat whenever he spoke or answered a question. Random small touches between them made me flinch and the thought of them as a couple brought an overwhelming feeling of defeat. It was at the presence of the waiter, who took her reluctant order for vodka that the buffoon insisted she have, when she seemed to relax as her guest leaned in and whispered in her ear. That was until the waiter had left the table and she met my observing eyes.
Her posture changed from when she had crossed those fucking wonderful legs when she first sat down and I knew that if I were a few seats nearer I could've reached out under the table and touched them with my own foot. Her small bright pink tongue made an appearance and once again I had to take another sip to keep myself in check. Although my lustful thoughts were on show for her to see, her expression was far from sinful. Her heart shaped face seemed to dominate the table, yet her eyes seem to only capture mine. She exposed a side of her I had yet not seen; a side that made me shiver. Desire.
My lack of knowledge for the arts and its connections kept me from speaking out and joining in the different conversations that were taking place around the table. I noticed Maria showed just as much interest as me in making idle chit chat, gladly taking the back seat while her accompanying guest took the stage. His in-house jokes and cocky winks to the ladies at the table infuriated me. With such beauty sitting next to him he chose to act like some kind of gigolo. I wanted to tear his fucking head off.
It was only when I heard the mention of a show that Maria would be displaying at her gallery that I calmed down and readied myself with the quick consumption of alcohol to bring out my confidence. I piped up and asked her directly about an invitation. She didn't answer, even though her deep brown eyes looked back at me as her sidekick pounced on the question before she had the chance to answer. My jaw clenched when he referred to her as honey, his hand lingered on her tiny wrist and he dismissed the question as trivial insisting no invitation would be necessary. It was her calming softly spoken words of agreement that kept me in my seat I wouldn't cause a scene in front of her. Though the image of pounding the bastard's head against a wall was tempting, a disappointed sigh left my lips and I wondered when this level of anger first made an appearance. My fanatical thoughts about Maria seemed to take over my life and I couldn't imagine never having her in it.
I never turned away from her beauty while the irritation sitting next to her rambled on. His sarcastic comment about me getting a personal invitation made my blood boil. What had she told him? Why would he single me out with such a flippant remark? Did he know of our encounter at her gallery? I watched her frown, her small frame jolted from a small cough and she placed her hand over her mouth. Her face displayed discomfort and her small gasps concerned me. She attempted to reach for his glass of water, but the cough was no longer a tickle and she was struggling to compose herself. The irrational side of me reared its ugly head. I dropped my napkin on my uneaten plate of food and I left my chair to tend to her, ignoring the surprised reaction from the other guests.
Her fair skin was now flushed red from the lack of breath. The infused scent of her surrounded me. I couldn't help notice the smoothness of her skin, the indentation that displayed her curved breast and the curve of them as they would wobble when a small cough left her lips. I helplessly watched as the glass, being held by James, reached her lips. I took her hand that gripped the edge of her seat and stroked her clammy skin. The electric spark that cruised through my veins when I held her hand left me bewildered. I ignored the warning growl from James as I looked on, worried for her wellbeing I needed to get her outside in the fresh air. Panic took over my thoughts and it was only the sound of a third person hovering over me that kept me from my plan. I sat back in my seat with reluctance, as I watched them steer her away from me and I was powerless to stop them.
The movement of the waiter behind me brought me out of my daze and I shifted to the side to give him room as he placed the second course in front of me. She hadn't returned and I was getting anxious. Her guest seemed unconcerned and Dr. Cullen and his wife who both offered their support earlier had come back and had reassured the rest of the table that Maria was fine. Until I saw her with my own eyes I wouldn't settle. With the sudden sound of a chair moving, James stood up, and made an excuse to leave the table. What was going on? Was she worse than first predicted? The uncertainty made me snap back at a question that I had been asked by Mrs. Moon and I cringed at the thought that I might lose my temper in front of these people. I looked over at the door that James had gone through, every conceivable reason for her not being back here flashed through my mind. Oh God, had this been the plan all along? An excuse to leave the table so they could be alone, were they going to fuck in a bathroom stall, why we all sat and wondered what was going on? Why I sat here and wondered what was going on. Fuck no. I pushed my plate away from me when I felt the loss of my appetite and once again I reached for my wine glass.
With the waiters clearing our table for the next course, I watched with curiosity as Dr. Cullen whispered to his wife, kissed her on her cheek and left the table. What the fuck was going on? The commotion of our table was not going unnoticed. The faint whispers from other tables and the bewildered looks of confusion towards ours did not concern all of us, least of all me.
With Mrs. Cullen also leaving the table a few moments later and the medic's sudden appearance as they marched through the dining hall and headed for the door that both Maria and James had entered, I started to shake. Fuck she was ill, seriously ill. I needed to see if she was ok. With a dramatic swing of the door, the team of medics rushed by with Jacob Black bloody and lying on the stretcher, the Cullen's walked close by as his parents hurriedly caught up. I turned back to look at the door and just as it closed shut I saw Maria walk away and head in the opposite direction to James who was now headed back towards us.
Jacob Fucking Black was the cause of my anxiety. He was a drunk that had fallen over and Maria had found him. The relief was short-lived for me, the moment I saw her return to our table her walk was unsteady and her confidence had diminished. Her once flushed face seemed pale and her smile to all of us seated at the table seemed weak. With all eyes on her it was easy for me to watch her without being noticed. Her delicate features were even more prominent now that she was quiet and self conscious with everyone looking at her. She seemed fragile and scared and I wanted to hold her and whisper words of ease.
If you had told me how this night would end I wouldn't have believed you. From the moment I had entered this arena, I felt the lesser challenger. She made me feel weak yet strong enough to protect her. The little ounce of strength I had left in me was the only thing that held me here as I watched Maria and James dance. Their bodies were in tune with one another; his hand skimmed over her body the casual comfortableness of them both could not be ignored. I knew it was now or never. It had to be now. I tapped her companion on the shoulder and asked if I could cut in on their dance. He looked at her and with a small nod of her head he reluctantly placed stepped away glaring at me.
With no hesitation she draped her hand over my shoulder and once I held her small hand in mine I took advantage of the lead and pulled her in close. The scent of her was painful and I was briefly transported to a different time and place. We spoke in broken whispers and candid words, my jealousy seeped through and I inwardly cringed when I heard my feral voice. She wasn't mine to dominate. She slipped from my hand and prepared to leave, I had upset her, it had been a harmless joke but I had upset her. Myself control had shifted and my voice was pleading with her to stay.
"Ask me?" she had whispered. The soft pink of her lips had captivated me. "Maria, would you like to spend some time in my company?" I hadn't contemplated that this may havebeen a trick, a playful game or revenge for my behaviour on Thursday. I could see the honesty in her face. I knew then that I would tread carefully. I would never try to pry anything from her that she wasn't willing to give.
With last night's memory still fresh in my mind a smirk stayed plastered on my face. For the first time in a long time I felt happy that it was a Sunday. Not feeling the need to run off my demons, I made the decision to relax in bed rather than occupy my day with work. With last night starting out so bad I never thought it would end so well. Maria had wanted to be asked; she wanted a date with me.
Her scent still clung to my suit. As I hung up my jacket, trousers and tie, I wished now I had worn the shirt to bed. The feel of her skin was how I had imagined it; supple, smooth and warm to the touch. Her hair had been as soft as it looked and every moment she was in my arms I felt the earlier unease vanish. She made me feel calm, made me feel small yet ten feet tall all at the same time, and for the third time this morning she made feel hard.
Edward,
It's Maria Swan, just sending you
My contact number...
I'd passed the acceptable level of looking at a text message at least half an hour ago, my mind was full of excitement and the only reason why I had not called Maria was because I was still trying to compose myself. I looked over at the photo of me and Mike, both of us dirty from four days of camping and no washing facilities. If he could see me now he would piss his pants.
My plan to stay calm had disappeared the moment our conversation on the phone had started yesterday. From the sound of her sleepy tone of voice I had woken her. I made a face of embarrassment, when without thinking I asked if she was alone. When she informed me she was still in bed, her cute giggle that I heard for the first time made me smile, and I wish I had seen it firsthand rather than hear it across the phone line. I made a point of flirting with her just so I could gage what kind of call it was and even though I smiled at her playful banter an underlying current still bubbled underneath my thoughts. Was she seeing someone else?
I had sat here for the last ten minutes looking at my watch. Maria wasn't late I was just so damn early which was the result of being eager to see her. The temperature had dropped slightly and the bright sunshine was now hidden behind small pockets of clouds. With my eyes darting in all direction, I tried to see if I could spot her. I sat back and silently talked myself into calming down. My self-help chat was short-lived when I saw her appear around the corner. I smiled slightly as I watched her rush up the street to meet me, concentrating on her steps as she pulled her cardigan together to keep out the chill. Her soft dark brown hair bounced with every step she took. I stood to greet her and the sudden worry of being on a date was upon me. God, I needed to touch those beautiful lips at some point.
The temptation to greet her with a small kiss on her cheek was too great, so I drew my attention to the obvious fact that she was cold. I should have been concerned that she refused to take my jacket but when her refusal meant her hand on my arm, I was secretly pleased she had said no. She was suddenly rambling, her words quick and rapid and I was struggling to keep up with her fast paced sentences, was she nervous? She took my hand with no hesitation and I followed her lead. When we reached the curb, her pert breasts moved up and down from her quickened breath and her hair partially covered her rosy cheeks. I gripped her hand determined to never let go because the feeling I got every time I touched her took me to a safe place.
She nibbled on her bottom lip once again as I watched her study the menu board at the hot dog stand I turned slightly towards her. I lost the will to keep this situation casual and I admitted one of the many thoughts I had about her.
"I so want to kiss you."
I frowned at the subtle stroke of her hand on mine. My free hand wavered near her lip to stop her biting it. She didn't flinch when I admitted my want to kiss her, her eye lids slowly dropped and I was certain that if we had been anywhere but here I would have felt those baby pink lips on mine.
I sat on a park bench eating a hot dog with Maria Swan. My intentions had been far more sophisticated than this, but I realised as I juggled my hotdog, coffee and napkin that it didn't matter where I was, as long as I was with her. The giggle from our phone conversation made an appearance while she mocked my hand coordination. She openly watched me as she turned in her seat to see more of me and I was suddenly nervous, the tables were turned, and I did what I do best when being scrutinised, I blew it with the one statement I should have kept to myself.
"James isn't your boyfriend and I don't know why you felt the need to lie." It was a bluff on my part; I needed to know for sure. If I saw an ounce of betrayal in her face the bluff would have backfired, and my greed to have her all to myself wouldn't come true. I would be the other man, the one on the side or worse just a friend.
The sweeping statement now out there, I prayed that it wouldn't backfire. He wasn't her boyfriend...he wasn't her boyfriend. The repeated words bounced around in my mind and I watched her chest still as she held her breath. Her unplanned confession threw me. She was leaving, going travelling and I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe her. I focused on the gridlocked traffic and the frustrated drivers before I chose my words. I didn't want to make the same mistake twice.
"Sorry, I'm just deciding if that's another lie you've just told me!" It was harsh I knew, but I needed to know why she continued to build this wall around her. Was it to keep me out or to keep her in? I felt the pleasant flirtatious mood from earlier leave the small space between us and I instantly felt guilty for my honesty.
My unsteady legs made a beeline for the trashcan as I cleared our rubbish giving me time to digest my actions. Maria hadn't given me any straight answers I still didn't know where I stood.
I didn't care. I wanted her. I needed her.
I returned to the bench and changed my position and sat much closer. Her startled look just fuelled my desire and I eased my arm over the back of the bench. My hand brushed against her hair before reaching her neck. I was overcome. I craved so much more and I made the decision before her. My hand pressed against her neck guiding her to my lips, her wide saucer-like eyes watched me take another step. I wasn't waiting any longer.
She surprised me and took the lead, her lips on mine. I moaned at the friction between us, the shock at how quickly she rose to the challenge and how right this felt. I needed her. My hand fought for more than just the feel of her thigh. I stroked her beautiful neck, my fingers laced through her uncontrollable curls, and I felt her nipples hardened under the pressure of my chest against hers. The fantasy of seeing her beautiful breasts bounce as she rode me just increased my lust for wanting her and as her moans vibrated through my body making my cock jerk, I knew my patience would diminish if we stayed like this much longer.
I instantly felt the loss of her, but was rewarded with the touch of her fingers teasing my lips. I wanted to take them in my mouth and suck them to show her what I could do for her. She knew I needed her, I had told her that much. The sudden feeling of change hovered over me like a dark cloud and I confessed my most unnerving thought.
I would never let her leave.... It was only when I turned to look back at her that I noticed she was slightly flushed and deep in thought. She seemed uncomfortable and shy all of a sudden. I thought at first it was the rush of warmth from the hotel lobby that hit her in contrast to the cold outside that had caused the rosy blush in her cheeks and when I suggested ordering a cab she completely ignored me. I had to squeeze her hand to get her attention and she looked up at me, her perfect shaped face seemed to glow amongst the constant jostling of this very busy prodigious hotel.
It dawned on me then that she actually looked a bit sinful almost aroused. Her eyes had glazed over and her lips were swollen from her constant nibbling. She looked adorable and the thought that she may be excited by me made my balls tight. I ordered the cab as quickly as the dumbass receptionist could manage, not wanting to spend a moment away from her. I caught her reflected image in the iridescent key cabinet in front of me and I saw her curious smile beam and I frowned with confusion.
It was difficult for me to be civil and not rip her clothes off here in the lobby. Her fingers slid up my chest and deliberately grasped the material of my shirt. I had to voice a warning to halt her and when I watched the cab slowly mingle into the rush hour traffic it was the feel of her slender fingers and her gentle stroke of her fingertips on my chest that got me home.
I smiled down at the scribbled writing on the compliment slip. The engraved title of the hotel dominated the thick smoothness of the paper and I snorted at the realisation that the young attractive girl who had given me her number had wasted her time. The irony hadn't been lost on me, I knew that two weeks ago I wouldn't have hesitated, hell I would have come back in a couple of hours and picked her up. I laughed at her forthrightness. I had returned to the lobby to order myself a cab and she blatantly handed me her number, with her tits stuck out and her hand constantly touching her hair as if it was something to be proud of. I wrapped the the piece of paper around the bills. "Here you go, a little something extra," I said with a smirk. The greasy haired driver looked down at what I had just handed him and frowned. "Give her a call she'll show you a good time." I laughed.
I had wanted to call her the moment I put my key in the door and if it wasn't for Mike calling, I probably would have. Mike was an easy distraction as he spoke about his beautiful daughter and how Tanya had taken to motherhood like a duck to water. I smiled to myself and wondered if I could see that kind of future with Maria. I cringed when that kind of thought appeared in my head and I could just hear Mike's voice stammer with shock if I even mentioned what I had just considered.
"Mike?" I said hesitantly, interrupting his blow by blow account of Emma opening her eyes when Mike said her name.
"Yeah..."
"Was it love at first sight, ya know when you met Tanya?"
"Um well I could hardly say love. I was pissed as a fart. Don't you remember? I was sick in your car."
"Yeah, I remember," I mumbled. Even now after all this time I still got a flash of rage. I loved that car, it was my pride and joy and to watch him barf all over the back seat made me see red. If he hadn't been so drunk and then passed out I would've knocked him out.
"So you didn't remember any strange feeling or stirring?"
"Well my stomach was bubbling a bit and I recall having a cheesy grin on my face but I think that was to do with the last few tequila shots."
"Edward?"
"Yeah..."
"Are you falling for her?"
"What? Well I like her a lot and I'm drawn to her...it's hard to explain."
"Right! Listen. My advice is... if you think she has your balls in a vice don't fight it."
"I don't know what the fuck you mean man, but I'll just go with it." I laughed.
My fingers lightly traced the groves of the keys of my piano and I sighed loudly at my dilemma. It was late evening and I was on my third glass of wine. The comfort of my music would usually have calmed me down by now but it had had little effect. I was filled with excitement and apprehension and for the first time in a long time I wish my parents had been here. I could've spent my evening at theirs under false pretences of just 'passing by' and grabbing a meal. Mother would've recognised the signs pretty much straight away. I laughed inwardly at the thought of her biding her time until we were all seated at the table. She wouldn't have asked outright, no, she was much subtler than that, she would've asked how I had been and say something along the lines of how well I was looking. She would've pried it out of me before I had even recognised the signs of her probing questions. I wish they had been here to see me light up when I spoke about her and her love of art. My father would have taken a shine to her, taken her side and hung on to every word she spoke.
I hadn't changed out of my suit when I returned home. After the conversation with Mike I had made myself comfortable at my piano. That was always my downfall, sitting here. The tranquil atmosphere of this room was always why I stayed so long in here. The beautiful pieces that surrounded me had been more my mother's idea of heaven rather than mine. I was the musician of the family while my mother had been the artist. I didn't need the paintings and antique furniture to feel at home, the piano did that for me.
After the sudden death of my parents it was never an option to part with their belongings though there were offers, mainly from the large auction houses and private buyers. When I moved all their personal items into my home it just felt right, like they had purchased the items to fit in with my world.
The dark heavy clouds confused me for a moment, and I turned my head towards the glow of the clock. The neon light flashed the time 7: 30 and I automatically picked up my cell to check for messages. The reminder for the Head-lodge meeting was displayed on the screen and I begrudgingly untangled myself from the sheets and headed for the shower to get ready to go into the office.
"Jenny, can you pull out the accounts for the Mariner Project and bring me in a coffee?"
"Right away, Mr. Masen."
I sat back in my seat and sighed. It was now approaching lunch time and I felt restless. The meeting that I had just made by the skin of my teeth this morning had broken down without an agreement in place and we were yet again back at square one. I had started slowly losing interest in work matters lately. My mind constantly wondered and my drive to do my best in the work place dwindled. I looked down at my cell and reread the text messages I had sent Maria. She hadn't returned any of my texts or voice messages. She knew I would phone her today and I was a bit perplexed by the lack of response.
There are times in your life when you wish for a gift, a power like a superhero. I wished more than ever that I could read her mind, just hers no one else's. You have a rough idea about the life of a person like for instance that Mike and Tanya would be running around like headless chickens first thing in the morning, so you didn't call them then. I looked down at my watch lunchtime. I also knew that since baby Emma had come along phoning Mike at work while he was on his lunch break was fruitless. It was the only hour of the day that he got to himself and no amount of conversation would get his attention. I knew these things about my friends. Maria, I didn't know anything about. I didn't know where she was right now, where she lived or what she did outside of work. I couldn't gage her day, couldn't imagine her sitting at her desk or writing up reports.
"Are you ok Mr. Masen?" I looked up, shocked by how deep in thought I had been that I hadn't noticed Jenny enter my office.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She smiled back at me and I shifted in my seat. I felt a bit embarrassed that I had been caught day dreaming by my secretary. "Jenny, I'm going to leave the office for a while. Could you hold all my calls? Unless...it's Miss Swan." I cringed at my casual tone that wasn't fooling anyone and she nodded at my request and handed me my over coat.
"It will do you good to get some fresh air," she said.
I turned into my coat that she was holding and grinned. "Yes, I think you're right. A nice long walk would clear my mind."
The reflection on the large window gave me no indication of what was going on inside. It wasn't until I opened the door and walked in that the uncomfortable silence hit me. The sound of my own shoes made the woman sitting at her desk aware of my presence, though I had a suspicion that she already knew I was here. I smiled warmly at her with little effect and she nodded her acknowledgement before returning to her screen. With the awkward intrusion that I caused, it was pointless to pretend that I was interested in the art that sporadically covered the smooth cream walls. I cautiously made my way towards her desk coughing slightly to get her attention.
"Excuse me?" I gave her my best smile and hoped that it would melt her stony exterior she slowly lifted her head and stared right back at me. So the dazzling smile didn't work then?
"I was wondering if I could speak to Miss Swan." I inched towards her hoping that I could reach the seat in front of me. I wanted to silently make my point that I wasn't going to be intimidated by her and suddenly leave.
She openly looked me up and down before answering my question. Her small hands never left her keyboard and at first she ignored the continued irritation of the ringing phone.
She reached over to pick up the phone and still not leaving my presence she took the call.
"I'm sorry Miss Swan is out of the office all day today. I could take a message and have her call you. Yes, of course, I will let her know." I watched her intently as she replaced the receiver and scribbled on a post it note.
"I'm sorry Miss Swan is out of the office all day today and-"
"You don't need to give me the spiel, I heard the call." My hands gripped the back of the seat and I quickly noted that I should calm down after I glanced at my hands and saw the whites of my knuckles.
"It isn't spiel, Mr. Masen, it's the truth," she said flatly.
"Look, I've been trying to get hold of Miss Swan for most of the day. I've left text messages and voicemails and I just wanted to-"
"Mr. Masen, like I've already stated-"
"Damn it!" I raised my voice and watched her flinch when my hand smacked down on the table in frustration. She was treating me like I was some sort of awkward customer and I wasn't going to stand here and listen to her dismiss me.
"Mr. Masen, I think you should leave. I won't stand for your rude and impatient attitude. I've already explained that Miss Swan is not at her desk, she has meetings all day and she is unreachable. I can't say any more than that, because I don't know any more than that." She stood up and leaned forward, her hands clenched by her sides and I could see her own patience had run low.
I sighed loudly and lifted my hands off the back of the chair. "I'm sorry if I've come across a bit aggressive, but I'm not sure you understand the severity of me trying to get in contact with her," I pleaded. My voice wavered between the calm tone that I was desperate for her to hear and the agitation that I'm sure she could.
"I can leave her a message on her cell if you like-."
"No. I've already told you, I've left her messages," I said through gritted teeth. I lifted my hand to pull out my phone to show her and I hesitated. Once again I felt intimated by this woman that stood in front of me and I snorted at the predicament I was in. She was a small tiny woman with barely the strength to defend herself, and here she was squashing me like a bug. "Fine, fine I get it, have it your way," I mumbled. I left feeling angry, frustrated and bloody stupid. I should have stayed at work.
This music wasn't calming me. I wasn't at my piano like I would usually be if I was uptight. I laid on my bed propped up against the headboard with my hands resting on my tangled hair as I listened to the radio. What had happened to me? Jesus, we hadn't even slept together yet and I was in a whirlpool of relentless emotions.
The loud ring of my cell phone suddenly got my attention and I looked down to see her name flash brightly on the screen. I was tempted to let it ring, to make her wonder like I had all day. I was many things but foolish wasn't one of them.
"I wasn't going to pick up you know, I was going to let it ring." I had meant to sound casual and blasé, but instead I sounded whiny and needy.
"Well, I could hang up, put the phone down and you could choose to ignore it when I ring back," she said. I sat up straight, scared at the tone of her voice. She sounded like she would, like she had reached her level of tolerance with me. My hands automatically went to my hair as I started to panic.
"Maria, are you okay? You sound tired..." I hoped it was that. That her day had been filled with unresolved issues and that she was merely fed up with herself and not me.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine; it's just been a long day." I fell back against the headboard and sighed quietly. The sound of splashing water caught my attention and instead of waiting for her to set the pace of the conversation I asked where she was, if she was in the bath.
"You're not going to ask me if I'm alone, are you?" Her teasing voice calmed the inner demon that had sat on my shoulder since this day had started and I smiled with relief.
I easily confessed that I had wanted to search her out, hunt down and join her. She couldn't live far and I could bring some wine and food. The twitch in my pants was a surprise and I closed my eyes to calm myself down. She stirred me every which way possible emotionally and physically. When she told me she wasn't in town and that she was staying at a hotel my reaction was one of selfishness. In the split second after telling me she was bathing, I had already conjured up a scenario that I silently prayed would come true and then she burst my bubble.
I ignored her weary voice and proceeded to blatantly berate her assistant for her unhelpful manner. It was only her whispered words that halted my attack.
"This wasn't meant to be this difficult," she mumbled and in that instant I knew.
I knew that she wouldn't fight me; she would rather walk away than go the distance. She wouldn't challenge me her expectations of us seemed on a different plane than mine. She was fragile and distant. I knew there was feeling of desire and she cared enough to tell me her future plans so I knew she felt something for me. I couldn't lose her over my insecurities and I knew then that I would do whatever it took to keep her happy. I needed to curb this attitude of desperation; I needed to put aside these overbearing emotions for the sake of what could happen.
"I'm sorry," I said, it wasn't my intention to upset her. "I'm just glad you phoned. I would love to go to dinner with you tomorrow night, if the offer is still open." I closed my eyes willing it to be yes.
"Meet me at the bench that I met you at on Monday and dress casual but warm," I smirked at this side of Maria, this forceful controlling Maria. I liked it.
I couldn't pass up the opportunity to flirt a little. "Mmm... Sounds like you've been planning this. Have I been on your mind, Miss Swan?" I could hear the undercurrent of excitement in her voice and when she began to reiterate the plan, I remembered that she was naked.
"Are you getting out of the bath?" The images that frequently ran through my mind came into play and I couldn't hold back my throaty groan. My head fell back on the pillow as I felt my cock harden. My free hand undid the button of my jeans as I listened intently to the sound of sloshing water and movement. She was out.
"I... need to know! Are you still naked?" I pushed the back of my head into the soft pillow, my back lifted off the bed and my hand weaved down the front of the now loose jeans that I wore.
"...Yes," she whispered. Her breath hitched. I wasn't going to lose this opportunity.
"Are you in the bedroom?" I could barely contain the desire in my voice. My imagination franticly searched for an image of her in a towel falling and pooling at her feet as the damp scent of her skin felt the the first hit of cold air.
Her nervous answer spurred me on and I was reassured. If she hadn't wanted this then there would be no subtle moans of pleasure or shallow breaths.
"Lay on the bed," I barked. I was surprised by my own level of desperation. My erection strained against the material of my boxers and I lifted my hips to push down my jeans with my free hand. I heard a faint groan on the phone line and my cock twitched with excitement. The thought of her smooth thighs inching up the bed as she crawled to her pillow, her soft breasts bouncing as she moved, made me bite my lip. I closed my eyes tightly to hold back the fantasy.
The image of her rosebud nipples as they stood at attention from a mixture of the coldness hitting her skin and the arousal that she felt made my cock rock hard.
"Are you cold?" I smirked as I waited for her answer.
"Are your nipples hard?" My hand reached for my throbbing cock and I gasped for some form of control. I deliberately slowed the pressure, my warm hand pumped my shaft and when I heard her hesitant answer I knew she was as turned on as I was. I gripped my cock tighter as the aching feeling in the pit of my stomach increased.
"Touch them and tell me what they feel like," I told her as my rapid breath bounced off my cell phone and I momentarily lost my grip on my phone.
When she said my name I quickened the movement of my hand. I looked down at my cock and imagined her brown cascading hair covering my thighs as she bent down to take me into her mouth. Her supple baby pink lips covered my dick, I imagined that I watched as her supple baby pink lips covered my dick swollen with excitement. My dick would touch the back of her throat when she took me all the way in, the tip of my cock would gently bounce off the back of her throat, and her cheeks would be hollow as she sucked me hard.
"Tell me," I hissed. I tried desperately to hold back, but the images of her bouncing on my thighs now appeared and I felt myself begin to waver.
"Tell me," I whispered.
"Soft, they feel soft," Maria mumbled.
"Touch your nipples, are they still hard?" I asked quickly. When a small groan of encouragement fell from her lips, I quickened my pace.
"Fuck, Maria, you sound excited. Are you wet for me?" I waited with baited breath for her to moan the word yes. I could feel the tightness in my balls and I knew that it wouldn't be long.
"Maria? Maria?"
"I... don't want it like this," she pleaded. I tried to sound focused, like it was ok.
"But you do want it?" I asked cautiously.
"Yes Edward... I do want it." I could barely hear her words. My hand began to ache from the friction of moving too quickly.
"Then I'll see you tomorrow at seven," I said ending the call. The last magnificent view of her coming while she rode me flashed in front of me and I came as I moaned her name.
Thank you for reading