Driger Kid here, my story will probably update once or twice a week so please review. Also, I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Ben & Jerry ice-cream.
The sun had set over Destiny Islands when Kairi had reached home and had settled down on her couch with a carton of Cherry Garcia and her remote watching Dr. Phil. "Now say it with me I am a scumbag," Dr. Phil said while treating another man who seemed to have problems, "I am a scumbag" "Good, well that's all the time we have for today folks and remember men are dumb and women are smart." Dr. Phil said in his southern accent. Kairi's face settled into a look of approval, "That's telling him Dr. Phil! I swear he's the best." Ring, Ring, t'was Kairi's home phone, Ring Ring, "Hello?" "Kairi is that that you?" Riku said in a sob, "Riku are you crying?" "No!" "Riku it sounds like you were repeatedly whacked inthe nards, now tell me are you crying?" "Yes I am and it's because I was repeatedly whacked in the nards!" Riku whined, "Are you okay?" "Hell no! I'm sitting here with an ice pack between my legs!"
"Well… wait a second I have another call, Hello?" "Hey Kai its Sora." "Sora I'm putting you on three-way." "With who?" "Why Riku of course! " "Sora you bastard!" "Hi Riku." "Guys what happened?" "Well I was chasing Mr. Keyblade Master here for those photos when he decided to go whack Riku Jr. with a stick!" "Sora!" "Stop bitching Riku t'was only a gentle tap." "I'll show you a… wait, do you just say t'was?" "Yes." "As in the old English word t'was?" "Yes Riku, I did." "Guys get back to the story!" "Sorry Kai." The guys said in unison. "The point is Sora is an ass, my nards burn and I'm now I'm watching Dr. Phil!" "Oh my gosh!" said Kairi "Me too!" "Dr. Phil?" Sora scoffed "What kind of self-respecting man watches Dr. Phil? I'm watching Oprah!" Sora shrieked in a girlish manner. Kairi and Riku sweat-dropped anime style. "Yeah, Sora, Kairi I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"Okay Riku…Sora don't tell Riku but I need your help throwing him a surprise party. I know that he doesn't want one but this time it'll be different." "Whatever Kai, I just one to see him freak out like at his second birthday party."
FLASHBACK!
Riku is sitting in his grassy backyard when hefallsintoagianthole. "Where am I?" Riku said in his little toddler voice, when an army of large moles shows up behind him, "You're in the underground city of the mole people, and we're going to eat you!" It said as it bared rows of large and pointy fangs. Riku then proceeded to wet himself.
END FLASHBACK!
"Sora, how the hell am supposed to believe that!?" "Riku's dad has one of the moles heads as a centerpiece in his trophy room, which you have never been in on account of you being afraid of dead things." "Oh, well see you tomorrow Sora, and if you tell Riku I'll kick you in the nards too." As Sora and Kairi hung up their phones little did they know that Riku had been listening the whole time, "I knew it, I must stop at nothing to avoid the party, nothing!"
The chapter is kind of weak but it's just to bridge that plot gap. If anyone has any ideas for horrible things that happened to Riku in past parties put them in your review.