if I was to die in the morning...
Love is a promise whispering goodbye. Waiting for you to hold me tight, I need one more wish before Wonderland fades...
and if I was to die in the morning... would I still be sleeping with you?
Fire: I was amazed at the response I got, I know people tend dislike songfics, but we all know it's because of the way they tend to be written. I'm planning to stick with the Lighting/Fang consistency throughout the story, after all, that's what the story is titled for.
Being restless wasn't an uncommon state for the group. Even the air of depression that hung above them was something one would have to get used to quickly. If it wasn't Lightning creating that tension, it was Hope, and if it wasn't Hope is was Snow and sometimes, just sometimes, it would be Sazh.
Fang slowly sat up on the couch she had chosen for the night. Her mind had been caught in the rut since they had laid eyes on the ruins of Oerba from the top of Taejin's Tower. The crystal dust that had covered everything for as far as the eye could see. She quickly guessed that if the village was inhabited, no one would be there to welcome either her or Vanille with open arms.
Seeing Bhakti and old photos told the warrior that her entire family had disappeared during the War of Transgression. The endless Cie'th, it had to be them. She wasn't one for regrets, but seeing the state of their home village was like one big empty broken promise.
~It's four AM and I, and I can't sleep~
~the room is cold, it's hard to breathe~
She tapped her feet against the wood flooring while her head rested in her hands. Vanille was probably with Hope right now, the two practically became inseparable after they had disappeared for a moment in the Tsubaddran Highlands. It was safe to assume, aside from whoever was on Sentinel duty, that everyone was asleep.
Grabbing her lance that was resting by the doorway she walked outside, a warm, familiar, gust of salty air greeting her. Travelling down the stairs, she stopped to place her hands on her hips and look down at her exposed toes.
Just what the hell...
This wasn't like her, what happened to the front that she usually put on in front of everyone? Has seeing her home in ruins like this put her in the same state of mind Lightning was in just days earlier?
~I've lost my mind only, only to find~
~there is nobody for me to speak~
She kicked at the ground slightly, crystal dust fluttering up before falling again, slowly looking up at the darkness that surrounded Oerba. It was much darker than she remembered, however, with no one living here; there was no reason for light anyway.
Light...
It was easy to pick out in the darkness, the two glowing yellow bands from Lightning's shoulder armour. It was always a wonder how it always managed to stay lit, heck even PISCOM's armour was like that too. It was probably just another thing to add to her ever growing 'Weird Cocoon Technology' list, heck even Light's gunblade and Sazh's weird transforming guns were, well, bizarre.
The glowing bands disappeared behind a building and Fang started to walk, she knew her old favourite spot, the dock, was still roughly intact. Even though the ocean no longer shimmered the way it once did, the sound of crashing waves never changed. It was just something the warrior found soothing; she made a point to visit the beach during her short stay at Bodhum. The fireworks were beautiful that night.
She grumbled when she sat down on the rusted steel of the dock, pulling off her shoes before dipping her feet in the water. There was so much she wanted to say but there was no one to talk to. Okay maybe not, Sazh would listen to anything and give his 'old man's insight' with that flippant tone of his. Vanille loved it, Fang, not so much. Resting her head against her hands she groaned, she was completely lost.
She froze when she felt something press up against her back; she could feel the warmth from the leather, but a sharp coolness from a set of metal buckles.
~I'm standing there, right next to you~
"This isn't like you." She heard Lightning's deep voice speak in almost a consistent monotone. Fang was surprised that chuckle didn't leave her lips.
"I can say the same thing about the Chocobo." She sung back, the tone was in her voice, but not the usual sarcasm. She didn't bend her head back to look up at Lightning, so she missed the flash of a smirk on the ex-soldier's face. "We all... can have our moments." She whispered, her eyes trained on the horizon. Lightning stepped away from her before bending down to unbuckle her boots and removing them.
"Do you... want to talk about it?" Lightning offered as she sat down beside Fang, her left arm brushing against Fang's right.
~Your body's warm, but I don't care~
"Preferably not." Fang answered back, Light didn't say anything or make a sound. Another breeze blew by, picking up the hem of Light's cape and softly dancing it across Fang's exposed back. There was a simple hum that echoed between them. Light seemed content with the silence, something that rarely happened when it was just the two of them.
"You really are... a lot like me." Lightning spoke after an extended period of silence, Fang shot her a glare.
"Excuse me?"
Lightning made a satisfied sound before leaning back. If Fang titled her head just right, she could see Light's silver navel piercing reflecting the moonlight. She narrowed her eyes, ever since that damned Chocobo, the Farron always acted slightly different around her when it was just the two of them.
Lightning's no longer ready to break.
Then... what about herself?
~I'm on my own for way too long~
~There's no time left for confusion~
"We are not the same." Fang snapped, Lightning hummed, not believing her and only serving to irritate the lancer further. It was like the roles were reversed, maybe that Juggernaut hit both of them harder in the head than Hope had originally suspected.
"You're breaking down."
"I'm not."
"You're ready to."
~My heart is broken, and love is bent~
Fang didn't answer, she simply grabbed onto the red fabric that was fluttering by the left side of her waist and gave it a harsh tug. Lightning was jerked left, crashing into Fang's shoulder before her back slammed against the dock. Lightning didn't make a sound as Fang quickly jumped up onto her feet, splashing water. Rage was apparent now.
"Just who the bloody hell do you think you are?!" Fang shouted at Farron, her hands balling into fists. Lightning tried to sit up, but with Fang's foot on her cape, she couldn't, instead she brought her hands over her shoulders and behind her head. Fang was expecting a smug look from Lightning, the more she thought about it, she was getting the same treatment she gave her back in Palumpolum. Instead she heard snaps being released as Lightning finally stood up, her cape and the leather band that held it to her jacket was now lying on the dock.
"I've been a couple different people. I think I know who I am." Lightning answered, crossing her arms and looking away. Slowly clenching and unclenching her hands, Fang gave the dock a death glare, she just couldn't respond to the attitude Lightning was giving her. A huff escaped the light-haired soldier's lips as her bare feet padded the ground slightly. "I can tell when a comrade is lost."
~I've reached the end, everything's gone~
~There's no time left for confusion~
Lightning started to pace around her, her arms still crossed. Fang just stared forward trying to avoid any eye contact the sergeant was giving her. "They put up a front, act tough, but once they're alone, they start to crack." She started, Fang fought hard not to stare. "They find themselves confused, unable to understand their emotions, like there is nothing left for them."
"Farron..." Fang muttered, the woman was reading her; the steady look Lightning gave her was piercing, like she was listening to something that Fang didn't dare to say.
~My heart is broken~
Fang found herself on edge when she and Vanille returned to the temple. The small door they had used was pushed open just a shade wider and the elevator had signs that it had been used. There was an intruder, and no doubting it, it was someone from Cocoon. Fang whispered that to Vanille as she pulled her Bladed Lance off her back. Vanille slowly walked in deeply, her head titling upwards to look at the ceiling.
The temple was originally built to serve as a test for those who wished to become L'Cie. The shrine was like a cloister of trials leading up to the deepest part where the fal'Cie Anima rested. However, those who wanted the power for personal gain or was just simply unfit would be unable to part the gates that sealed Anima away. At least, that's what the priests back home had said.
Continuing up the path, they tried to be a silent as possible, Fang held her lance up so it wouldn't click against the marble staircase. Upon reaching the first door they saw that it was open, Vanille gasped lightly.
"If it is someone from Cocoon, they shouldn't have been able to open the door!" Vanille squeaked. She looked around in a slight panic; clearly if it was someone from Cocoon they shouldn't have been able to open the door. "But this isn't..." she was lost, Fang shook her hand and rushed past, now everything was starting to become a problem. Up the stairs, to the elevator, down the hall, two more doors where open.
Now was the time to panic, somehow Cocoon had found a way to trick the so-called Holy Gates.
"This can't be happening..."
The last door swung open, both of them had only been here once before, the intruder was lying on the ground. The light pink haired girl was unarmed and roughly the same age as Vanille. Fang didn't want to state the obvious, the teen was alone, chances where, she just simply got lost and wondered too far. She looked at Vanille, clearly the debate was if they should kill the girl or not.
"Wait!" Vanille shouted, waving her hands frantically when she spotted something. She knelt down and picked up the girl's arm. "She's been made into a... a L'Cie." Their minds raced, Fang quickly scooped the girl up in her arms, if anything meant anything; they needed to get her out of the Vestige. Swiftly leaving through the doors the girl in Fang's arms whispered a single word, still not living in the waking world.
"Claire..."
~It's four AM and I'm fading~
~Wish I was bold enough to scream~
Fang grounded her teeth together. Sure, all she had done since she had met Lightning was provoke her, but she didn't think the soldier would dare to poke her back. She shot a glare at Light that was swiftly returned. It was easy to feel the tension; it felt like it needed to escalate to a full out screaming match. Fang would gladly do that, but Lightning was nowhere near bold enough to scream. Light slowly uncrossed her arms and just held them at her sides.
"You're confused, aren't you?" Light asked her, Fang snapped her head up, surprised. Most people would bare a knowing smirk on their face or a slight sparkle in their eye. Lightning had neither.
"Whats'it matter to you?" Fang shot back; Lightning shifted her weight around as if she was trying to think of something to say. Clearly she couldn't come up with anything and remained silent for a moment longer.
"Just how much have you walked away from?"
Fang didn't think; her hand in a fist, she lashed out and punched Lightning in the jaw, her head quickly snapped to the side as Fang quickly spun on the ball of her foot so her back was facing the soldier.
~For all I've done and walked away~
"Did that make you feel any better?" Lightning asked, rubbing her jaw, Fang huffed.
"No."
~There's no much hope for me to pray~
She didn't move; she didn't want to admit that Lightning was right. She was breaking down all of her pent up emotions and stress, the time she turned her back on the group in the Fifth Ark, the time she nearly lashed out at Vanille; it was all her failing to keep up her usual composure. Lightning was clearly better and hiding it than she was, but she had seen the mask crack as well. When she had hugged Hope in Palumpolum and that night with the Chocobo, it made her suspect that she had shown moments of weakness around Hope earlier on as well.
Hands returning to her hips, she hung her head slightly. Fang could hear the rustle of fabric behind her and two steps on the dock. After a fresh breeze Lightning's bare hand touched her left shoulder. Fang tensed; clearly this was Light returning the favour from a few nights earlier. When Lightning rested her head at the center of her back, the lancer relaxed as a musical hum filled the air. This time, Fang knew it was Lightning making the sound.
~I'm standing there, right next to you~
~Your body's warm, but I don't care~
"When asked, 'what kind of relationship do you have?' I say 'Maybe, a little more than just friends.'" Lightning whispered; her voice was carrying the same pattern her earlier hum had. "But that's not quite right either..."
Fang just closed her eyes, Lightning's voice died back into the hum again before disappearing; her warm touch was all that was left. The Farron was right; she had no choice but to admit it.
~I'm on my own for way too long~
~There's no time left for confusion~
"You win Light." Fang sighed, shoulders dropping, Lightning's hand ghosted down her arm and wrapped around her waist. With the way she moved, Fang was able to tell that Light was experienced when it came to comforting someone, but she was rusty, like it had been years since she had to support someone emotionally. "Everything just feels like a bad dream and I just want to wake up from it all."
~My heart is broken, and love is bent~
"It will fade... mine did." Lightning whispered, Fang finally realized what she had meant the other night when she had muttered "its fading" to her. The confusion, the sensation of emptiness, the living nightmare of being a ticking time bomb, it was all going to fade away and become a dream, or a memory.
"My memories are nothing but a dream now." Fang muttered bitterly. "Both mine and Vanille's and it's all thanks to that damned Focus!" Lightning released her before she could forcefully break free. She turned around to face the soldier; a neutral expression decorated her face. She looked away and turned back to the water, her hands on her hips again as she continuously shifted her weight, slowly moving around in a small circle.
~I've reached the end, everything's gone~
~There's no time left for confusion~
"We made it to the end, and everything was taken from us. Even if we complete this Focus, save or destroy Cocoon, everything will just be taken away again. It's just a damned cycle of misery." She stopped and stared at the ground. "No, you guys killed Anima didn't you?" she looked over her shoulder, Lightning didn't respond. "Then that's it, the cycle is done, it's either Cie'th or crystal."
"Fang." Light started, she went ignored. The lancer continued to ramble to herself causing Lightning to cross her arms again. For a split second she spotted her cape on the ground, Fang must have too, the Pulsian stopped her pacing to pick up the material and study it. She then looked at Lightning with slight confusion; she bit her bottom lip as Fang's eyes narrowed, finally, a smirk appearing on the warrior's face.
"This material, it certainly isn't military issued, is it?" she asked grinning, Light's steel-blue eyes went wide for a moment before narrowing, Fang knew, if it was anyone else, they'd be blushing. Roles where shifting back to what they should be, and Fang was enjoying it. Light's hands clenched and unclenched; now that the black sleeve was gone Fang noticed the faded scar carved into her forearm. Deciding to press on that later, she rolled the corner of the red cape in her fingers. "It's not cotton... silk, isn't it?"
Lightning didn't respond, she simply walked up to Fang and stole the article out of her hand. She didn't fasten it back onto her jacket; she just held it in her hand, staring at it.
"So... what's the story behind it?" Fang asked in a sing-song tone. Lightning just looked away.
"No story." She responded, Fang tilted her head to the side, Light's eyes rolled as she turned around.
"Aha! There is something! A memory!" she pointed at the soldier, her grin only grew, Lighting huffed.
"More like a dream." Light answered, turning back to face the ever triumphant Fang. "It's just... it's nothing."
"It was Claire's, wasn't it?"
~My heart is broken~
Fang saw Lightning tense, like a shock just ran through system. Fear was apparent on her face while Fang took on the expression of confusion. For once Lightning looked absolutely lost for words as she tried to form something to say, if anything, it looked like the soldier wanted to run. Light turned around and exhaled loudly before turning back, now she was angry.
"Where did you hear that?!"
"Hear what?" Fang asked, Light's hands flinched slightly, like she wanted to strangle the warrior. "You mean, that name?" she asked again, the sudden flash of frustration Lightning released was all she needed. "Serah said it, when I carried her out of the temple." She answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Silence fell for a second before she was struck with a revelation, why she didn't put two and two together sooner was beyond her.
~I wish I could open my eyes~
She had been a couple different people. By the time she realized she had been standing around with a dumbstruck look on her face, Lightning had already gathered her boots and was walking away. Fang didn't shout, she didn't even bother to grab her stuff, she just ran after the soldier. Lightning's speed wasn't something Fang could easily overtake; it got to a point that she had to watch the yellow bands in the distance disappear into the old school house. Stopping in front of the building she looked up, she could see the yellow glow on the roof.
~and find some place for me to hide~
She slowly walked into the building, trying not to make a sound, but she knew Lightning would know that she was here. While they were basically even when it came to comforting one another, she needed to make up for that mistake she had made, although, could she call it a mistake? Probably not, she didn't know and she definitely didn't expect Lightning to react the way she did. Slowly scaling the stairs, tuning her ears to try and hear anything. To her surprise, she heard Light's voice, faint but carrying the same tune she had earlier.
"More than just friends... but that's not quite right either... the word 'bond' is more appropriate, while fighting with each other..." her voice died away again, Fang assumed she was quoting something, but she didn't know what. No one had heard Lightning go off like this, maybe it was something she did to keep herself occupied while on duty. Maybe it was something to keep Claire alive.
"I know you're standing there Fang." Lightning's voice snapped, Fang sighed and walked fully onto the roof. She had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot on the ground, like she was waiting for a child to explain what they had just done wrong.
"Look Light, I didn't mean... I didn't think."
"I'm not looking for an explanation or an apology."
~for all I've done and walked away~
~There's no much hope for me to pray~
Lightning watched as Fang's expression went from surprise to confusion, then back to that usual smirk she had plastered on her face. She closed the distance between them slightly, by this point Lightning would have faltered at the proximity, but after everything that had just happened, this was nothing to her when it came to Fang these days. The silence continued, Light expected Fang to press on about the cape, but she didn't.
The red material, it did once belong to Claire. It used to be a part of an old knight costume her mother had made for her when she was young. Three years after her death, Serah was cleaning out the basement and stumbled upon it in a box. Thankful for once that her sister was away on a mission, she snagged one of her sister's uniform jackets and with some matching leather, styled the silk that had originally served as a scarf into the slim cape. When Lightning had returned home from her mission, Serah presented it to her, the older Farron took it as some kind of a joke; but Serah won out in the end. Lightning had became what Claire always wanted to be, therefore she could at least keep a part of Claire on her in memory, if it wasn't for her sake; it was for Serah's sake.
It was always for Serah's sake.
"So who's trying to hide? You or Claire?" Fang asked when she noticed Lightning was basically hugging herself around the waist. The Farron didn't answer; instead Fang grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a proper hug. Light's hands slowly moved to return the hug, back to square one it seemed, but everything between them felt so much different now.
Maybe we are more than just friends...
~There's a place for me to hide~
"Neither of us, not anymore." Lightning whispered, nuzzling, if it was possible for the ex-soldier to do so, closer to Fang. The other woman's hand made it up to Lightning's hair to hold her head closer to her shoulder, the same way she had hugged Vanille earlier. "We've found our place."
"Those words you told me earlier, about being more than just friends..." Fang started, Lightning hummed again.
"If there aren't any stars, let's just become stars while making fun of each other... while..." Lightning stopped again, the hand in her hair moved to lift her chin just slightly so she was looking directly at Fang.
~I know, I know~
"While loving one another..." Fang whispered before pressing her lips against Lightning's, the soldier didn't freeze, she didn't push away; she just returned the affection.
~There's a place for me to hide~
Just like the time before, when she woke up on top of the sleeping Fang, nothing was coming together to explain how she was feeling right now. Unlike last time, there wasn't a part of her to run away, she had already fulfilled that desire. She raised her hands off Fang's waist a brought one to the middle of her back and the other to the back of her neck while the kiss deepened.
Everything has faded away...
There was nothing to say, everything was right, everything was perfect.
~I wish I could open my eyes~
~I'm on my own for way too long~
~There's no time left for confusion~
Hope held onto the railing with a shaking hand, he couldn't believe what he had stumbled on... what he was seeing. The pain in his chest was almost unbearable. Hanging his head, he tried to fight back his tears. His mother... and Lightning... was everything he loved going to be taken away from him in one form or another? Biting his lip, a pair of slim arms hugged him from behind.
"Please... don't cry Hope, it makes me sad too." Vanille whispered, sweetly, but in a comforting tone at the same time.
~My heart is broken~
Fire: Finished this on a bus, and god damn, the roof was leaking water on me. This chapter was a little harder to do because of the theme and the way the song played; I actually had to cut some of the song out. The next chapter will probably up the rating to T because of violence and swearing.
I will be putting download links for the songs in my profile, as soon as the internet decides to cooperate with me.
Chapter Song: No Time Left for Confusion
Artist: Your Favorite Enemies
Disclaimer: Everything used belongs to their rightful owners