Chapter 2

The light turns off

I am flying somewhere

I don't exist without you

I don't want anything

'My parents won't be home until tomorrow. Real early. So we have the night to ourselves.' I said to Kyle, the two of us sitting on my bed. I pulled him onto my lap and secured my arms around his waist. He kissed me on the cheek.

'So, what do you want to do?' He asked sweetly, putting his arms around my neck.

'Weeell,…'I started, grinning. 'I was thinking.'

My hands played around on his back, tracing waves and circles. I figured that we were in the point of our relationship where it was okay to start having sex. But it took a lot more than just saying it to,…just say it.

'Thinking what?' Kyle enquired, being just as playful as I. He went beneath my shirt and ran his fingers up my back, sending chills from the contrast of his warm hands on my relatively cold back.

'Thinking,…that…well…' I pulled off his shirt, revealing his glorious chest. Pale, skinny and ever so lightly sprinkled with freckles. I pressed my nose to the center of it, taking in his essence. His flesh was so soft that I got lost in it. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

'I was thinking that we should be having sex by now.' I finally said.

Kyle grabbed the bottom of my shirt and slipped it off of my head. He ran his fingers through my hair in slow, circular motions. We shifted around on my bed so that he was beneath me, laying flat on his back. Kyle giggled under me.

'Do you know what you're doing?'

'I think so.'

That seemed to reassure Kyle enough to fall completely relaxed. I took off his pants and boxers, then my own. He brought his legs up so that they were around my waist. I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

'I regret nothing.' I said quietly.

We laid in an incredible, no-longer-virgins afterglow. I had my head on Kyle's chest, eyes closed and my left hand on his apposing shoulder. Kyle's fingers were running through my hair sensually. A feeling of complete and utter peace had engulfed us. I heard somebody come inside the front door, but I didn't care. I saw that my bedroom door was barely open, but I didn't care. My parents came into my room, and I cared.

They made me and Kyle come downstairs and sit in the living room, awkwardly across from them. My dad looked flustered, but my mom seemed strangely serene.

'Stan honey,' she said. Her hand extended and rested on my arm. 'I want you to understand that we are not mad at you. We're…we're…we're not really happy, per se, but…'

'What your mother is trying to say,' my dad cut in. 'Is that we want you to be happy, bu-but we also want you to be safe. We want you to be in a loving relationship, but we want you to be healthy, too. Understand?'

I nodded. 'So you aren't mad?' I asked, just to double check.

'Honey we could never be mad at you. You too, Kyle.'

Kyle didn't say anything; he was too embarrassed. His face was bright pink, and he kept his line of vision far away from my parents.

'I want you to know, Kyle, that you are, still, always welcome at our house.' My mom said. 'And we completely accept the relationship between you to, and I think that you too should never be ashamed to be in love within our walls.'

'What?' My dad asked. My mom elbowed him in the stomach.

'Yes. Now don't worry, Stanley.'

I walked upstairs with Kyle. He stopped in the hallway right outside of my bedroom.

'What's your mom trying to say, with this "be in love within our walls." Does she want us to have sex or something?'

'Oh come on,' I said, going into my room. 'She's not making us have sex. She just wants us to feel comfortable with each other.'

Kyle stumbled into my room and snatched up my hand for comfort.

'Don't you have any homework to do?' He asked.

'Eeeh…Yeah.' I said and pulled my English binder out of my school bag. 'The last part of this fucking study guide is due tomorrow.'

'Get to work.' Kyle teased. I rolled my eyes at him and sat down at my school desk. I started to jot down bullshit that looked convincing. Macbeth died because…Macduff said…Banquo was actually…Shakespeare blah blah blah. I looked over at Kyle and saw that he was looking at the conglomeration of crap on my dresser.

'Are you still smoking?' he asked.

'What are you doing?!' I whipped my head around and saw Kyle holding one of my many lighters.

'Are you still smoking?' he repeated.

'Yeah, so?'

Kyle shook his head. 'That isn't very good for you, you know.'

'I know, I just don't care.'

'I wish you'd take better care of yourself.'

'Kyle, I'm only eighteen. I have plenty of time to take care of myself. And you aren't one to talk either.'

'I don't smoke!'

'You drink though.'

'Not a lot.'

'Yeah but you still do. Maybe I don't smoke a lot.' I teased. Kyle opened up my second dresser drawer and threw three packs of Marlboros at me.

'Dude keep those in there.' I said, throwing them back at him.

'Dude don't smoke them.'

'Dude control your own life.'

Kyle stuck his tongue out at me. I looked back at my paper.

'I think you need more attention than Shakespeare ever did.'

It became our new weekend ritual for Kyle to spend Saturday night with me; we'd either go out to dinner or have it with my parents at home, then go to bed. It became apparent to us both that my mom liked it the more time I spent with Kyle. My dad, on the other hand, was a little bit iffy about the circumstances.

'So how was your evening?' he asked at dinner one Saturday. Kyle put the tip of his fork between his lips and looked down.

'OK.' he said quietly. He grabbed onto my hand from under the table, the shame of hiding our relationship still over him. My dad's presence seemed to reflect upon Kyle negatively.

'We saw a really good movie.' I said, trying to get conversation started.

'Did you actually watch any of it?' my mom poked at us. Kyle blushed and his grip on my hand tightened. I wound my fingers between his.

'Yeah a little bit.' I replied, laughing. Kyle wasn't very amused, (the truth of the matter being that we hadn't really watched the movie at all.)

'Well I made a cake earlier, if anybody wants some.' My mom said. She picked up her plate and got up. 'Help me clean the dishes, honey?' She asked my dad. He nodded and took up the places and brought them into the kitchen. My mom followed.

'You know you don't have to be so awkward around my parents.' I told Kyle quietly. 'You've had dinner here a million times. What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' Kyle said. He looked down shyly and slowly moved closer in to me. 'I just feel like your dad is a bit impeding.'

I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him delicately on the lips.

'Don't worry about it. He's just afraid that I'm becoming "Less of a man" or some stupid shit like that.' I kissed him once more. My parents came back in the dining room and we stopped quickly. My mom smiled sweetly and us.

'You two done?'

Me and Kyle looked at each other with wide eyes.

'With dinner. Are you two done with dinner?'

'Oh, right, right! Yeah.' I said. I handed my plate to her.

'Thanks for dinner.' Kyle said, his usual roseate expression coming back. I grabbed his hand again and leaned into his ear.

'Do you want to go upstairs?' I asked in a teeny whisper. Kyle nodded gently and sat up.

'Mom, we're going up now.' I hollered into the kitchen.

'Alright. See you tomorrow.' My mom answered.

'Goodnight!' Both parents said at once.

'Night!' We answered.

I pulled my door shut and turned my TV on and up real loud. I threw Kyle down onto my bed and sat over top him on all fours. He flung his arms around my shoulders and giggled. I leaned down and kissed his neck over and over. Kyle opened his mouth to say something, but stopped.

'Yeah?' I asked between kisses.

'Nyeeeeh…I dunno.' He said cutely.

I pulled up his shirt and kissed him gently on the chest, letting his incredible aroma get absorbed into my soul.

'What do you think my parents would say if they knew…' Kyle said.

'I don't know. They might be cool with it. I hope so. You aren't planning on telling them, are you?'

'No. At least not for a while.' Something about him suddenly looked very sad.

'What's wrong?' I laid down next to Kyle on my side.

'I don't really know what my parents would do…' He said, with a sort of whimsy in his voice that made me feel very weak. I put my arms around him and tried to get him to look at me. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling.

'We'll deal with that when we have to, okay?' I coaxed. Kyle nodded, turned to face me and closed his eyes.

'Hey sluts,' Kenny said, walking up to me and Kyle in the hallway. School had just ended, and Kyle was coming home with me. 'How's it packing?'

'Oh shove off.' Kyle said sharply. He walked straight passed Kenny.

'Wait, no Hi or anything?' the blonde followed us.

'Not if you're going to insult us.' I said, followed by a snicker.

We got outside of school and Kenny lit up a cigarette. I looked at Kyle and narrowed my eyes, knowing that he wouldn't let me smoke. We started walking toward my car, and Kenny kept following us.

'What do you want?' I asked him. He shrugged.

'I don't have anything to do. Thought maybe us three could go hang out?'

'If you don't insult me again yeah.' Kyle snapped.

'Dude Kyle get over it.' I said. 'Sure Kenny, but we're just going back to my house.'

We got into the car and Kenny lit up another cigarette. Kyle leered at me. I shook my head and shrugged it off.

'Soooo,' Kenny started. 'How's you all's sex life these days?' He leaned back and propped his feet up on the flat area between the driver's and passenger's seat. I put down the window near him.

'Good.' Kyle said. He looked at me and smiled sweetly. 'Very good.' He corrected.

'What are you two doing out here every day during lunch, eh?' Kenny asked.

'I like this song.' Said Kyle, turning up the radio. 'Her voice is really pretty.'

'Don't avoid the question, damn it!' Kenny said. He retreated his legs and sat forward, poking Kyle's shoulder. 'What are you two doing out here every day during lunch?' He repeated.

'Rolling joints,' I said jokingly. 'Injecting heroine and smoking crack. What do you think?'

Kenny giggled. 'Smoking Kyle's crack I assume?'

'Shut the fuck up.' Kyle said.

'Oh, so then you do, yeah?'

'Nuuuu.' Kyle shook his head. 'Not like that.'

'Or, or do you suck Stan off?' Kenny flicked his cigarette butt out the window and put the glass back up all the way. Kyle's cheek reddened and he stopped talking.

'That's what you two do, isn't it?' Kenny teased. Kyle still didn't talk.

'Kyle's a bit shy about the whole thing.' I said.

We stopped at a red light and I grabbed a hold of Kyle's hand. He shifted closer to me and I kissed him softly on the lips.

'That's so cute.' Kenny remarked from the backseat. 'You two are really cute.'

I kissed Kyle on the cheek and looked back at Kenny. 'He's really good during lunch.' Kyle blushed more.

'Yeah I bet,' Said Kenny. 'Kosher boys are like that. They's good.'

I gave Kyle one last kiss before going through the now green light. 'And you'd know?' I asked Kenny.

'Well, not from Kyle. But other Jewish boys.'

'You've been given head?'

'Hell's yeah.'

'I didn't know you went that way.' Said Kyle, slumping back into the seat.

'Yeah. Girls are great and all, but nothing beats a good ass pound. And not with a girl, either. Blechhh.'

We got to my house quickly there after. After we came inside, Kyle went into the bathroom. I turned on the TV and sat on the couch next the Kenny.

'What do you think Kyle's doing in there?' he asked mischievously.

'Probably jerking off.'

'For serious?'

'Yeah. He does it every time we come home. Particularly when my parents are home, or if someone else is with us.'

'Oh. Well then…so he'll be in there for a while?'

'Not too long. He comes pretty fast. Faster when he's got me in him, though.'

'Oohhh…' Kenny moved closer to me. 'Do you fuck him a lot?' He asked, the volume of his voice dropped increasingly.

'Every Saturday night.' I boasted.

'With your parents home? Do they know?'

'Yep. They're cool with it. My mom more.'

'That's awesome. Do you change positions a lot?'

I felt uncomfortable answering that question. Even if Kenny was one of my closest friends.

'Well eh…not really. He doesn't like change too much.'

Kyle came out of the bathroom and walked into the living room. Kenny looked at me with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes.

Kyle sat down next to me and put his arms around me.

'So what are we gonna do?' He asked.

'Figured we'd just sit and watch TV for a while.' I said. 'You okay with that Kenny?'

'Sure.' He said. 'We could also have a threesome if you two wanted it.'

I looked at Kyle.

'Uh. How about no?' He said.

'Yeah. Kenny, we aren't really in an open relationship.'

'Aw…It'd be fun though.' Kenny sounded disappointed. 'Or you two could go fuck each other's brains out and I'll just watch.'

'No.' Me and Kyle said together.