Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.

"BRAD, ARE YOU A MORON? YOU DON'T LEAN ON WINDOWS! AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE RENOVATIONS COST ME?"

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN YOUR SICK-ASS MOUTH AT ME, YOU HEAR ME, JANET? SHUT! UP!"

"BRAD, YOU'RE SO FORCEFUL! YOU SHOULD COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I HAVEN'T CALLED THE POLICE ON YOU, WITH YOUR CRAZY SEX... AND YOUR...YOUR...GLASSES!"

"COLUMBIA, PULL OVER, THIS WOMAN IS DRIVING ME NUTS, ME AND MAGENTA CAN WALK TO THE HOSPITAL!"

Brad opened the passenger-side door with his working hand and rolled like a spy into the ditch. He landed in a puddle. Columbia screeched the car to a stop,

"Does he do this often?" Columbia questioned

"No, he's never done this before."

"Well, then there's hope, lots and lots of hope..." Magenta scoffed, "I guess he's not completely nuts." She got out of the car and ran into the ditch, "You can go back to the house." Columbia shrugged and made a U-turn back to the house. Magenta waded deeper into the ditch and found Brad sulking on a pile of weeds.

"You don't wanna be here. I might lean on a window and kill someone."

"I'm not pissed at you."

"Really?"

"Of course not. You didn't do- UGH-"

Magenta ran a few feet away and began to retch into a clump of cattails. Brad stood up and stood over her, gently touching her lower back,

"Are you alright- is that blood?"

"It's okay, this happens a lot, and I'm fine, I never get sick."

"We need to go home-"

"But your hand-!"

"It's fine, I used to get into fights when I was a kid, and I ALWAYS LOST."

"Okay. I'm gonna need you to carry me back, though."

Janet and Columbia weren't home when Brad and Magenta got back. After a few hours though, there was a knock on the door, Magenta answered. And then screamed.

"BRAD, GET IN HERE!"

"What's wrong?"

"JUST HURRY UP!"

Brad ran into the foyer.

Columbia and Janet were bleeding and bruised.

...

"So, start from the beginning. What happened?"

"Okay." Columbia began, "I was hungry so we went and got lattes, then before I knew it, we were shoving out tongues down each other's throats... and then they beat the crap out of us..."

"It was an out of body experience." said Janet, "But then- then we were getting beaten up."

"Oh God, are you two okay?"

"We're fine, really... just... a little confused..." Janet whispered, "OH BRAD I'M SO SORRY!" Janet launched herself onto Brad and Magenta looked at her feet. Columbia rolled her eyes.

"Janet, nothing happened, anyway, I kissed you, I was hungover from last night, that's it!"

Magenta walked into the guest room, Columbia was sitting on the bed, obviously in tears.

"Collie...? Are you okay in here?"

"...Janet hates me."

"What are you, twelve? Why do you care? She's a try-hard bitch, why do you care?"

Columbia looked up, "Because up until now I thought I was straight."

Magenta smirked, "We both know you're anything but straight."

"How?"

"Because you kissed me last year."

"I was high."

"Please, we both know that's not true."

"Oh yeah?"

"Columbia. You were smoking actual grass. Like the kind you find on people's lawns."

"It's a wonderful stimulant."

"Bullshit."

"Okay, I admit I'm an active lesbian, but... why Janet?"

"Because she's taken. It's a medically proven fact that single people are always more attracted to people who are taken."

"Like you and Brad?"

"SHUT UP!"

Magenta left Columbia to drown her problems in chocolate and went into the hall, Brad was there.

"Okay."

"Hi...uh, is she okay in there?"

"Yeah, just, she's a little bi-curious."

"Oh, I see. Janet's... a little pissed, she feels violated."

"Well, tell her that Columbia doesn't mean anything by it."

"I'll do that."

Brad stared at Magenta for a while. His eyes drifted down to her chest and she seemed to notice, she backed up about a step. He internally snapped at himself to stop being a pervert, but it didn't seem to work. Before he knew it, Brad was on top of Magenta.

...

"So you only did it because she's terminally ill right?"

"Well, Janet-"

"Don't you 'Well Janet' me, you kissed her, you were on top of her!"

"Janet, she was enticing, she's a very beautiful woman, you've seen her, you'd know a beautiful woman when you saw one."

"SHUT UP, SHE PRACTICALLY ATTACKED ME!"

"Janet, stop, you know, you're obnoxious. I don't know what possessed me to get on top of Magenta, but I'm sure as hell glad I did. Now do you mind telling me what possessed you to behave the way you did with Columbia?"

"Well..."

"Why did you do it?"

"Uh..."

"I'm waiting..."

"JUST BECAUSE, OKAY!"

"Just because? Just because, Janet, is that the best you can do? That's the excuse that most five-year olds use when they steal the last cookie! Just because, my God..."

"Brad, please! Just... leave me alone to die!" Janet threw herself melodramatically onto the bed and Brad left the room. Columbia ran into him in the hallway.

"Brad, hi, how is she?"

"She's going crazy. And I kissed Magenta."

"I know, she told me. She asked me why you kissed her and now I'm going to tell her. I'm going to tell her she's sick."

"No no no no no, Columbia, you don't know what you're doing, please don't do this to her, she doesn't deserve it..."

"Brad, she needs to find out before it's too late, we need to ease her into acceptance."

"Acceptance? She's 24, she's dying..."

"Brad, I have to tell her. Please let me." Brad threw up his hands in defeat and Columbia went into the guest room. Brad pressed his ear to the door as Columbia went in. He heard hushed voices, sobbing, and finally a choked, anguished sob that almost sounded like a scream.

Brad threw the door open, Magenta was sitting on the bed in tears, Columbia was leaving, Brad sat next to her. The room was silent until Magenta opened her mouth,

"Is it true? It is, isn't it? I'm going to die." Brad felt tears stinging his eyes, "I can't die..."

"You know what?" Brad whispered, "I'm sure you can make it, with medication and everything you need, I promise you won't die."

Brad woke up the next morning to find Magenta sleeping next to him, she had come into his bed the previous night and her face was still warm and damp with tears. Brad kissed her forehead and stood up, going into the hall. Columbia was standing on the other side of the hallway near the broken window. Brad approached her from behind,

"Columbia?"

She turned around, "What?"

"You need to tell me what to expect. You told her, now tell me, what's going to happen?"

Columbia inhaled. "During the last few months, she'll become paralyzed from the waist down, her immune system will crash, she'll bleed a lot, she'll be in pain, disoriented, she'll want to die." Columbia was glaring by this point, "And she had to find all this out after your stupid one-night stand."