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Chapter Two: Desolate
The other recruits were all lined up behind her, safe for the moment, and Sakura was trying her best to keep from trembling.
Her nails had gouged vicious half circles into the insides of her palms, and she was biting the inside of her cheek so hard that she thought she registered the cold, metallic tint of blood on her taste buds. Despite that, the pink-haired kunoichi had to grit her teeth together to keep the lower half of her face from betraying any of the raw terror she felt. The weight of Sasuke's eyes trained on her back were the only thing that gave her a small measure of courage, enabling her to stand up straight and face Orochimaru with at least some amount of dignity.
He looked her over dismissively, though, and then seemed to stare right through her, at the man standing at her back. "Tell me, Kabuto," Orochimaru commented coldly, "does this…girl…have any redeeming qualities whatsoever?"
Sakura fought the urge to close her red-rimmed, aching eyes and indulge in a silent moment of desperate prayer. Regardless of the fact that she could practically feel the killing intent radiating off Sasuke in increasingly menacing waves, she knew that, regardless of how much Orochimaru wanted to cultivate him, it was Kabuto Yakushi who ultimately held her fate in his hands.
Regardless of the immediate, warm welcome that he had given Sasuke as soon as the two of them entered the first seemingly deserted military base on the outskirts of the village, Orochimaru had directed one look at her and written her off as a lost cause – but Sound, unlike Konoha, apparently had no inclination to waste resources on unskilled, weak shinobi like herself. He had announced as much to the present gathering, as well – one white-haired boy who looked like an unnerving mixture of shark and human, a redheaded girl who was staring at Sakura appraisingly, and a toweringly large boy who was observing the unfolding happenings quietly and calmly.
It had been humiliating, of course; enough to make Sakura want the ground underneath her to open into a giant chasm and swallow her up. Had she been stupid, to think that these people would be willing to train somebody like her? Maybe staying in Konoha would have been better; where she was embarrassed and hurt more by the things that people didn't say than the things that they did.
But that was useless thinking. The fact of the matter was that she had followed Sasuke here, and maybe, it would ultimately be worth nothing, and she would be discarded like the piece of trash that Tayuya had accused her of being.
A strange sense of calm detachment flooded over Sakura, countering the rage that she practically felt Sasuke quietly repressing. If they were alone, she would have fallen to her knees and begged Kabuto to let her live, if that was what he wanted her to do. She would do anything, but right now, she could do nothing. Even she had more pride than to lower herself like that in front of so many potential rival shinobi.
But then Kabuto's hands were on her shoulders, the unexpected touch startling and wearing on her already strained nerves so much that Sakura had to exercise a conscious effort not to flinch away from it. She heard Sasuke catch his breath, and Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, obviously quite surprised.
"She has quite a bit more than just 'redeeming qualities,' Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto stated quietly and smoothly, his voice echoing around the underground chamber, as he bowed his head out of respect. "If you allow it, I would like to place her under my tutelage. My experience in the chunin exams has taught me that little Sakura is incredibly intelligent, and that, combined with her excellent chakra control, should make her a perfect candidate for training as a medic-nin and specialized medical ninjutsu combatant. She can see through many genjutsu, as well, and I believe that she could even be trained as a genjutsu specialist if the other option fails."
Sakura tried not to look surprised – to accept the statement with calm indifference, as if she knew it to be true. But…perfect candidate? Medic-nin? Specialized medical ninjutsu combatant? What did all of that mean, and how could it actually be a viable future for her? Nobody in Konoha had ever hinted that she had any aptitude as a field shinobi like all of her comrades did, but nobody had mentioned this possible career option, either.
Orochimaru exhaled, turning around in one smooth movement, as if the conversation had already bored him. The fabric of his clothing rustled, and Sakura couldn't help but think of the dry sound snake scales made as they slithered across stone floors. "So be it, then," he stated coolly. "Come with me, Kabuto."
He slunk away, off to the dark, distant doorway on the other side of the expansive chamber, and Sakura released a breath that she didn't even know she had been holding, before turning back to face Sasuke.
It startled her, momentarily; how pale and shaken he looked, his bloodline limit burning with an uncommon, frightening intensity. Sasuke had appeared to be totally unruffled up until the moment that Orochimaru had turned to her, so – was all that emotion actually for her? Sakura thought that it bordered on sweet, if completely bewildering, but the girl who had been standing next to him had steadily edged away, and relocated herself to the other side of the shark-boy, who was staring at Sasuke curiously.
Sakura wanted to say something to Sasuke, something to alleviate the burning emotion still visible on his face, but she had just opened her mouth when she finally allowed her gaze to flicker over the other occupants of the room a little warily. So they were more of Orochimaru's recruits. None of them triggered that same, visceral fear in her as the Sound Four had. These three seemed…normal. Different, yes, and intimidating in the way all new people intimidated her, but not bad. And if they had all been recruited by Orochimaru and were now supposedly devoted to working to further Sound's agenda, they were all on the same side, and should have no reason to fear one another. Should have. Sakura's initial reaction was to distrust anybody from Sound, but if she was going to stay here, she would be better off not making any enemies right off the bat.
Almost at the very second that her brain processed the last thought, the red-haired girl finally looked Sakura in the eye. It was unnerving, to say the least, and for the second time in as many minutes, Sakura had to fight the urge to recoil. The girl's irises, behind her thick-rimmed rectangular glasses, were blood red, the same vivid color as her unevenly chopped hair. She couldn't sense any bloodline limit in her, not like Sasuke, but…
"So, you're going to be our medic, for sure?" the girl asked, tossing one side of her hair back over her shoulder. Her voice was loud and brash – similar to Ino's in a way that made Sakura's heart hurt – but not overtly aggressive. Something in Sakura told her that this girl, though, was different from Ino in that if she sensed weakness in somebody, she would simply hone in on that weakness and destroy them; not try to build them up into a stronger person. But…there seemed to be no judgment in her voice; no negative emphasis put on the word 'you're'. Maybe she was safe.
Sakura was vaguely conscious of the two other boys approaching Sasuke and beginning to speak to him, blocking him from her view. She had to deal with this one on her own. She couldn't rely on him to give her strength all the damn time – she had to find it within herself.
Sakura made herself incline her head noncommittally, leaning against one of the solid stone support pillars in order to give her body something to do, and to make it look like this conversation wasn't already stressing her out more than she could bear. "Apparently."
Her voice only shook a little, but to Sakura's gratitude, the other girl didn't seem to notice. "That's great. And, by the way, I'm Karin," she stated confidently, leaving the larger pack in order to join Sakura by the pillar.
The sudden change in demeanor was a little confusing, leaving Sakura with the feeling that she had just passed some kind of imperceptible test. "…Nice to meet you," she said, trying to harness the innate confidence of Inner Sakura. "I'm Sakura."
Karin just nodded her head in acknowledgement this time, slipping into a suddenly pensive mood. Sakura couldn't help but notice that, despite her short black shorts, she wore an incongruously thick, long sleeved shirt with it – and that her left hand kept drifting up to the inside of her right arm, which she was rubbing repeatedly. "Well, it's going to be really nice, to finally have a real medic around here," she said, her suddenly soft, almost meek tone a strange counterpoint to the attitude that had been there earlier.
"Why?" The asinine question slipped out before Sakura could stop it, and she couldn't help but wince. Well, duh. So that somebody would be there to patch their wounds up after a rough sparring session or something of the like.
To her surprise, though, Karin glanced back over her shoulder, making sure none of the boys could see them, and then began to roll her sleeve up wordlessly. She had screwed her eyes shut, and her face was beginning to contort with pain. "…If Orochimaru-sama was right and you really just tagged along with that insane kid, it's about time that you learned what you were stupid and moronic enough to get yourself into. You just have no idea, do you?" she snapped suddenly, and Sakura cringed back despite herself, stunned by the sudden vehemence. As if she wasn't already wary enough about the situation…
It took a few moments and an obvious effort on the other girl's part, but Karin finally took a few deep breaths and fought to calm down, continuing on in a relatively normal tone of voice. "At the same time, I figure you should probably know what you're saving me from and why I feel this totally irrational need to like you because of that. Look."
Against her better judgment, Sakura looked – and she didn't want to, but she cringed, and before she could even blink, one of her hands had somehow pressed itself over her own mouth in order to hold back the sound of mingled horror and revulsion that threatened to escape from it.
Bite marks. Several raw, reddened, horribly painful-looking bite marks indented the pale, sensitive skin of Karin's arm. Those were just the fresh ones. Hideous, twisted scars, from older bites, were heavily interspersed with those, and Sakura had to look away sharply to keep from gagging at the site of what looked like a particularly vicious, purple-tinted bite right above the other girl's elbow.
"It was an accident," Karin whispered, not looking Sakura in the eye. "Long story short – it happened a few months ago, all because of Jugo's stupid-ass cat. It had walked with a limp for as long as any of us could remember, and it hated me. It tried to steal some fish off my plate once, I hit it, and it sunk its teeth into my hand. The limp disappeared overnight. Orochimaru-sama noticed, and…he wanted to do some experiments on me to see if the effect extended to humans. It didn't work exactly as well, but it was close enough to make him happy. He doesn't like Kabuto to waste his energy on healing anybody but him, so he sends all the others to me…"
Karin's voice trailed off, her eyes looking blankly into the distance, as she unconsciously tugged the collar of her shirt even closer to the base of her throat. Sakura was quite sure that she was on the verge of throwing up out of sheer disgust, and her knees nearly went limp with gratitude when the other kunoichi finally rolled down her sleeve. Karin seemed unwilling to look at her now. "So, learn fast," she said brusquely, after a few long moments had passed, and even though the attitude was back, Sakura picked up on the word left unsaid.
Because Sasuke was still talking to the other two boys, and because she figured, in a moment of quite uncharacteristic recklessness, that she had nothing to lose, Sakura extended a tentative smile in Karin's direction. "I will."
Karin seriously looked like she was trying not to, but her lips twitched incriminatingly. Looking rather displeased at the momentary lapse in her usual hauteur, she settled for giving the stone pillar an equally uncertain half-smile, half-grimace – which was obviously intended to be some sort of compromise. "Good."
She shared a room with Karin.
Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Jugo (the latter two whom Karin had introduced her to a little while later), had a larger room one flight of stairs higher than they did, and even though she knew it wasn't practical to expect anything different, Sakura had been strangely reluctant to part with Sasuke, even for the night. He was the only vestige of home she had left, after all; the only familiar thing that remained for her to cling to…
Karin's voice in the darkness jolted her out of her thoughts. Even though the girl was somebody she or Ino would have disliked on sight back in Konoha, here, Sakura wasn't stupid enough to turn down an overture of friendship. Making enemies out of these other shinobi would be a fatal mistake…and besides that, something in her sensed that despite her brusque, obnoxious attitude, Karin must have been lonely for all those years, with only Suigetsu and Jugo as company. "It's kind of cold down here, but you get used to it," she stated exhaustedly, and Sakura could just barely make out her darkened silhouette and the creak of the other battered bed as she shifted positions. "The boys have the only room – well, besides Orochimaru-sama's – that has heating. But we have to be up at sunrise every day, so it's nice not to have to force ourselves awake."
Sakura closed her eyes, turning her back to Karin. The other girl was right – their room was icy cold, chilling her to the bone. They didn't have pillows, and there were only thin, threadbare sheets thrown haphazardly over the too-hard beds, that served as blankets. The small window had no shades; and the bright silver full moon threw a bold sliver of light onto the stone floor. She could see nothing else out the window. No buildings, no lights; just lonely acres of forest.
Now that Sasuke was gone, the full force of the homesickness hit Sakura squarely in the chest with all the brutality of a completely unexpected heavy physical impact. She could do nothing but turn on her side and draw her knees up to her chest, curling up into a fetal position.
She was so far away from home – in a place where, instead of kind, compassionate Tsunade-sama, there was a leader who thought nothing of cruelly victimizing a young girl instead of training proper medics, or putting his own to good use. This…Orochimaru…was who Sasuke thought would mold him into a truly powerful shinobi, one skilled enough to kill his despised older brother.
Itachi.
For the first time, Sakura thought the name, and it sent shivers down the length of her spine. She had seen a picture of him, once – of the entire Uchiha family, when she had been in the library, looking at clan history books. She had been in the Academy at the time, and she had to do a report on the history of Konoha's founding. The yellowed photograph was folded into a seemingly obscure volume, and she had picked it up and examined it curiously, wondering who had put it there, even while drinking in the now decimated family with her eyes. Fugaku appeared as tired and severe as Mikoto was gentle and warm. The five-year-old Sasuke was utterly adorable, but after a few moments, Sakura's eyes drifted to his older brother. Itachi would have been twelve or so, then. Before she could think any better of it, she realized that he was actually really cute. By the time the thought even registered, she had already flung the photograph back down onto the table as if it had burned her, utterly disgusted with herself, for more reasons than one. Despite the obvious – well, Sasuke didn't read these kinds of books, and besides, she doubted that he would deliberately leave behind such a memento of his family.
Maybe the last person to touch the photograph had been Itachi. He didn't kill the entire Uchiha clan in a fit of passion – he couldn't have; that level of violent insanity was beyond her comprehension. Maybe Itachi had put this photograph in the book, symbolically leaving his family behind, on the night that he had decided that he was going to slaughter every last one of them – maybe a year before, or a month, or a week.
Bile rose in her throat even at the memory of that evening two years ago, and Sakura buried her head into the thin sheets as best as she could, trying to hide from the night, as she hadn't for years. She used to be afraid of evil spirits and ghosts and demonic monsters, but now those fears had a tangible, physical embodiment. Itachi. Orochimaru. Sound.
It was worth it, she told herself. Being here was worth it; it had to be. Maybe Sasuke had been right – maybe only working with shinobi this cruel and ruthless would prepare him to face Itachi and win.
She knew it wasn't the right attitude, but Sakura only hoped that day would come sooner rather than later, so they could end this nightmarish chapter in their lives and return to Konoha.
The Next Day
It was a dungeon. There was really no other way to describe it.
Like Sakura was quickly learning, everything in this particular Sound base was dark, cold, and made out of solid stone. It created a sinister atmosphere; one that made her jump at the ever-shifting shadows and reflexively look over her shoulder into the darkened hallways every few moments. The basement, though, which Kabuto had told her was his personal lab and working space, was definitely the most unsettling area she had been in yet. This was really quite unfortunate, seeing as she would probably be spending most of her time there.
The low-ceilinged enclosure was lit only by two exposed light bulbs dangling from the ceiling, throwing pale swatches of wavering yellowish light into the room. Every inch of the walls were covered in shelves, and every inch of the shelves were covered by small, neatly labeled glass bottles, vials, and containers of every description. They all seemed to be full to the brim with any manner of substances – liquids in every color, and different sorts of powders and what appeared to be crushed roots. The stale air smelled like a mixture of heavy chemicals, herbs, and very vaguely, layered underneath the other scents – blood. Heavy, sweet, and metallic…and so much of it that it couldn't be masked by anything else.
The thought made Sakura shiver a little in a way that couldn't be attributed to the cold, and she forced herself to redirect her attention to Kabuto, who was patiently leading her on a tour of the underground space. The two stainless steel, uncovered operating tables kept commanding her attention, though, along with the adjacent open displays of hundreds of cruel-looking surgical tools.
Kabuto noticed her looking, and he gave her a sincere-looking smile, reaching out to pat the top of her head delicately. It took all of Sakura's self-control not to cringe away. "I see you're fascinated, Sakura-chan, but not just yet. We'll have to learn all the practical, mundane things first before you can assist me in performing Orochimaru-sama's special experiments."
Experiments?
She briefly envisioned the type of 'experiments' that would require the use of such instruments of torture, and Sakura had to bite her tongue to keep her expression neutral. She had a brief, nightmarish flash of somebody holding a frightened Karin down to that same operating table, strapping her arm down, and forcing her to lie still while a dark, faceless shinobi bent down over her and sunk his teeth into her wrist and…
She needed some air. She really needed some air. She needed to bolt out of this eerie laboratory and up into the sunlight and fresh air, but—
"I think that I must be boring you," Kabuto announced blithely, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose and fixing his unsettlingly clear gray eyes on her. "I admit that I was the same, when I was your age. Perhaps you would benefit more from a hands-on demonstration."
Before Sakura could even blink; before her mind could even fully comprehend the statement, Kabuto had already grabbed her by the neck and pushed her up against the steel counter next to the operating table, trapping her body between that and his own. Her hip collided painfully with the open drawer of surgical tools, and the pink-haired kunoichi staggered, feeling the edge cut right into her hipbone, and the sharp sensation of pain stealing her vision away for a moment.
"What—" Sakura gasped, unsure of why she was suddenly under attack, but before she could even complete the belated punch that she had directed at his ribcage, Kabuto twisted his fingers together, pressing vicious strikes that drove the breath from her body into the soft spots between her shoulders and chest.
The result was paralyzing and immediate, and her knees almost collapsed beneath her. She couldn't move her arms at all, but Sakura's panic only reached new heights when she felt Kabuto's cold fingers curling around the back of her neck, so that his index finger pressed into the very top of her spine.
Maybe he was pressing down, but she couldn't feel it, and the lethargy that stole over her body was the most crippling feeling she had ever experienced.
Was he killing her?
Even the instinctive revulsion and fear that surged up inside her was no match for whatever he was doing, and Sakura was vaguely conscious of her head unconsciously slumping forward to rest on his shoulder. She couldn't lift her head; she had been completely immobilized. How was it that he had hurt her like that in under half a minute, with just two simple movements?
Distantly, she heard him speak, and that sent another pang of sharp fear down her spine – before she realized what exactly he was saying.
"That was all really very easy, Sakura-chan," he informed her cordially, stroking her hair with repetitive, gentle strokes, as if she were a young child. Her body was limp from head to toe, and she was totally powerless to move away, even though his touch made her want to be sick. "I apologize for the roughness, but it was the best way to communicate the simplicity of the entire procedure to you. I can see that you do not have the requisite personality to sit through hours of redundant learning of the simple basics. That is understandable. I do not intend to waste your time by doing so, but I do expect you to read up on those things on your own. By the end of tomorrow, I will teach you how to disable or severely injure your opponent with one chakra-laden strike – like I just did to you. Normally, you will execute one strike to the chest to kill, but you can manipulate other pressure points as well, depending on the situation."
With three simple touches, apparently disregarding how violently her body was trembling, Kabuto reversed the technique, stepping back and giving her another one of his strangely gentle smiles. "Any questions?"
Sakura closed her eyes for a moment, trying to force herself to acknowledge here was no need to be frightened. No need whatsoever. It had just been…a demonstration. A demonstration on how to disable, severely injure, or kill other human beings.
"I thought medic-nin were supposed to heal, not kill," she blurted out, before she could think better of it.
For a few seconds, Kabuto stared at her, his eyes widening into a shocked expression behind his glasses. But then, he began to laugh, sounding truly amused by her idealistic statement.
Sakura just watched him, stony-faced, and finally, Kabuto had to force himself to stop, although he reached out and patted her cheek almost affectionately. "You're a Konoha genin through and through, aren't you?" he asked, but then the smile disappeared. "We'll make a real kunoichi out of you, Sakura-chan. This will pass, don't worry about it."
Like hell it will.
The response from Inner Sakura was so immediate and forceful that it almost left Sakura's lips as well, but she stopped it at the last moment, and gave Kabuto a close-lipped, noncommittal smile instead.
Interlude
I'm in Sound, but I didn't come here for the same reasons as Sasuke. I'll get stronger, but I will never lose my humanity in doing so.
And I won't let him, either.
Sakura learned how to stop hearts with one strike (close-range) or form six hand seals, in conjunction with six different concentrations of chakra each time (far-range) to do the same thing.
She could cause death one hundred different ways with medical ninjutsu alone, and thirty-six more if she was inclined or forced to engage in hands-on physical combat. If all else failed, Sasuke had taught her five genjutsu that would drive the recipient into certain insanity. And if certain situations required more finesse, she was just barely passable at crafting a few poisons…just in case.
Kabuto taught her every one of the offensive medical ninjutsu himself, and he forced her to demonstrate them on living beings – rabbits, deer, Orochimaru's prisoners. It broke her heart every single time and sometimes she would hold the rabbits afterward and cry into their soft fur. Sakura didn't want to hurt them – she hated the thought of hurting anybody, even though it gained her respect as a Sound kunoichi. Respect of the caliber that she had only dreamed of achieving in Konoha. She was almost sixteen now, and if she were to take the chunin exams tomorrow, she would literally destroy her opposition…even other incredibly strong kunoichi, like Temari of the Sand, who she had been in frightened awe of, four years ago. She had become the kind of kunoichi she had once envied, yes, but…she hadn't wanted to do it like this. When Kabuto had said 'medic-nin', she had never envisioned becoming somebody like this. If, all those years ago, somebody had given her the choice between remaining powerless or gaining power through killing…she would much rather use her training as a medic-nin to help others, and gain renown that way. That just wasn't an option in Sound, though. The weak and sick and unlucky died, and the only people – herself and Kabuto – who could help them were forced not to.
She couldn't hold the prisoners and apologize to them, afterward, though – the poor prisoners, with their broken bodies and hollow eyes – because Sasuke was always telling her that Orochimaru would simply take that as enough grounds to have her executed for treason.
Sakura couldn't shake the feeling that Orochimaru had never gotten over his dislike of her…even though he complimented her enough whenever Kabuto sang her praises, which he did very frequently. Orochimaru was a dangerous person to have as an enemy, but she couldn't bring herself to care much about it. He didn't have the influence over her that he did over the others, and he knew it.
Maybe that was a bad thing, or the reason why Jugo would always look at her with a worried expression in his eyes.
It was worth it, though. Even if she had to keep certain things a secret – like the small, almost-forgotten section of the always-deserted library that had books about things that Kabuto had never spent much time teaching her – it was worth seeing Karin's eyes light up with true happiness on the day when the two of them had sat on the floor together and Sakura had healed all the hideous bite scars from both of her arms. Or the exhilaration and adrenaline rush triggered during this latest escapade: taking advantage of one of Orochimaru's rare absences to sneak off the Sound base and volunteer at the tiny, sorely understaffed medical clinic in one of the border towns.
"You're an idiot, Sakura," Sasuke told her bluntly, after he had discovered her absence, left the base as well, and after a protracted argument, ended up physically dragging her out of the clinic, once Sakura had finished healing the last elderly patient suffering from a seemingly intractable and debilitating respiratory disease. Sasuke's eyes shone bright with the crimson light of his bloodline limit as he turned back to glare at her, and even though he had interlaced their fingers together while forcing her to leave with him, the pressure of his hand against hers was more forceful than comforting against the harsh winter air.
"Just because I have compassion and am capable of actually caring for others, Sasuke-kun," Sakura replied, through gritted teeth, "does not mean that I'm an idiot."
Sasuke made a disparaging sound in the back of his throat, releasing her hand disgustedly and whirling around to face her. He had grown a lot in the past three years, to the point where he almost towered over her, but Sakura just watched him evenly, not intimidated in the least, and her old genin teammate narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't even know why you followed me out here," he finally snapped, turning back around and continuing down the narrow, desolate path back to the Sound base. "You're not cut out for it, Sakura. You should just go back."
Sakura glared at his back, pulling her heavy winter coat closer around her petite frame. She could tell by the heightened aggression of his behavior that the curse seal was giving him trouble…and that Orochimaru had probably been trying to coerce him into that once again. "You know damn well why I did it," she retorted heatedly. "And, firstly, if you really don't care that much about me and want me to go back, you shouldn't have cared enough to come raging out here in the middle of a storm in order to drag me back to precious Orochimaru-sama's base. Secondly…" all the last vestiges of her patience abandoned her, and thankful for the traction granted by her knee-high boots, Sakura caught up to Sasuke in one smooth movement, grabbed his arm, and pulled him back, forcing him to look at her. For a fraction of a second, he looked bewildered by this…like the twelve-year-old boy she had followed three years ago. "You had better tell me that it's working," she gasped, regardless of the icy wind that hurt her throat, tore at her short skirt, and threatened to rip her scarf from around her neck. "Don't tell me that you're listening to all that…all that shit that he feeds you about him using you as his next host—"
"Sakura," Sasuke interrupted icily, each of his words cutting her like sharp blades, as he wrenched himself free of her. Not for the first time, Sakura watched the barely repressed rage flicker through his eyes – it was horrible what the past years had done to his mental state. "How many times do I have to tell you? If it means that I can kill Itachi, I'll do it. I'd do anything."
Something in her heart fractured at those words. How was it, that every day for the past three years, she had been trying to help him preserve his humanity, and still, he just wanted to throw it away? "Sasuke-kun, he only wants the Sharingan, and kami, it'll practically kill you—"
"Sakura," Sasuke cut her off harshly, turning away. "Just…shut up for once, alright?"
They walked to the base in silence. Sasuke's body language was intensely closed off to an extent that Sakura hadn't seen in a while, and it made every fiber of her being hurt. Bitterly, she remembered her younger self's ideal about what running away from Konoha with Sasuke would be like…it wasn't this. Hell, no.
She still loved him with all the intensity and passion she had when she was younger – if anything, her devotion to him had only grown with the time that had passed. Except that this time, Sasuke wasn't just saying no to a date at Ichiraku or something stupid like that. He was saying that he was willing to sacrifice his own life; his own soul, being, essence, future – just to kill Itachi.
And he would do it, too. She knew he would.
Despite the fact that he still seemed to be giving her the silent treatment, Sasuke showed every sign of intending to walk her to the room that she shared with Karin. Sakura followed him, her movements shifting to autopilot as she began to think.
Itachi. Damn him. There were times that Sakura could delude herself into believing were relatively normal, like the occasional evenings that all five of them got off, and she, Sasuke, Jugo, Suigetsu, and Karin would retreat to one of the clearings in the forest immediately behind the Sound base, and grill food over a fire and just talk and enjoy each other's company. But, in the end, all of that didn't matter, and all of it boiled down to Itachi – and Sasuke's fanatical, frightening obsession with hunting down and killing him.
Sakura had a lot of faith in Sasuke's abilities; she really did. She had seen him, Suigetsu, and Jugo sparring together, and Sasuke always came out on top. But against Itachi…the pink-haired kunoichi shuddered reflexively, pushing away a horrible mental image of the elder Uchiha psychologically torturing her teammate. She couldn't pretend to be optimistic when it came to the idea of confrontation – if anything, the likeliest option seemed to be that Itachi and Sasuke would actually destroy each other.
The thought made her flinch imperceptibly, her fingers twisting into the black material of her short skirt and holding onto it in a white-knuckled grip, but if Sasuke noticed, he gave no indication of it.
Maybe someday, he'd be strong enough to face Itachi and win. The only problem was that Sasuke didn't seem content to wait for that.
The way she saw it, she had two fundamental options to prevent the unthinkable from happening. One: leave the Sound base, hunt Itachi down, and dispose of him herself. Sakura had enough confidence in her intelligence to know that she could likely fabricate a decent plan in doing so, perhaps even allowing her to gain the upper hand at first, but mere intelligence against the Itachi wouldn't get her far. From the limited information Sasuke had disclosed, Itachi was intellectually brilliant and a tactical genius as well. More likely than not, that plan of action would get her captured and potentially subjected to a long, torturous execution. Unless she somehow could get within killing range of him without him detecting her presence, and the chances of that were extraordinarily slim.
Even though the very thought of Itachi was enough to make her heart beat a little bit faster and her insides quiver in fear and trepidation, Sakura was mildly surprised to realize that she would do it – she would try her best to hunt him down and kill him, if only it would save Sasuke.
There was no really graceful way to state this, she concluded, as the two of them climbed the last flight of stone stairs in silence. Love made her stupid.
Sasuke leaned against the doorframe to her and Karin's room, watching her expressionlessly. Even though there was no sound from inside – which eliminated the ever-present and rather horrifying threat of walking in on Karin and Suigetsu in a compromising position – Sakura didn't make a move to enter, instead opting to look up at him through lowered eyelashes.
The second option was far more realistic, but almost even more difficult to execute: to make Sasuke realize that allowing Orochimaru to take over his body was absolutely, unequivocally the wrong option…even if it did mean that he would be able to exact his revenge upon Itachi by doing so.
Despite the fact that Sasuke snapped at her more often than he talked to her in a normal sort of tone, it was a testament to the strength (or, well, at least presence) of his trust for her, that he didn't flinch when Sakura tentatively reached out to him, brushing his cool, alabaster cheeks with the palm of her hands, and then trailing them down to his broad shoulders and wrapping around his neck. Her throat was tight with repressed nerves, mingled with confusion at the way he was looking at her – apparently cool and disinterested – but he hadn't made any move to shake her off yet, so…
Her boots granted her an extra couple of inches in height, but Sakura still had to stretch up on the tips of her toes in order to slowly, uncertainly press her lips to Sasuke's. She had warmed up, but he was still cold from the snow. For a few agonizing moments, he didn't move even a muscle in response, but then one of his arms curled around her lower back, pulling her body flush against his.
True to his nature, that was the only indication he gave her that the kiss hadn't been totally unwelcome. He didn't reciprocate the gentle pressure of her lips against his, instead choosing to simply press his hand down into her back, and after a little while longer, Sakura finally withdrew a scant few inches. As was customary after each one of their exchanges – which, aside from a few rare occasions, Sasuke never reciprocated; he merely allowed, which was supposed to be good enough for her – he didn't acknowledge her, save for the slightest flickering of his dark gray eyes over her body.
As always, something small inside her felt the disappointment, but Sakura embraced him again nevertheless, turning her face up and inhaling the smoke-and-ash scent of him. His arms hung stiffly at his sides and her heart was pounding, but she spoke anyway, flattening the palm of her hand over his heart. "Fine," she stated simply. "Give yourself to Orochimaru tomorrow, if you want, but Sasuke-kun, please…" – she stood on the tips of her toes again, giving him a lingering kiss on the cheek – "…beforehand, take some time to think of every little thing in life that you'd be missing out on."
Every fiber of her being was screaming with the overwhelming, overpowering desire to know how he would take this, but Sakura forced herself to open her door and retreat into her room without looking back.
In one split second of weakness, in the instant before the door closed, she glanced over her shoulder for just a moment. Sasuke was staring at her in a way that she had never seen before, looking like a lost puppy.
The door slammed shut, and Sakura suddenly found that she had forgotten how to breathe. On the bed farthest away from the wall, Karin rolled her eyes and put her finger in the page of the thick paperback novel she had been reading. "Don't go back out there, Sakura," she whispered vehemently.
Sakura turned back toward the door, utterly shocked at the effect that she had apparently had on Sasuke. "But—"
"Sakura!"
Not wanting to face the wrath of her fellow kunoichi, Sakura turned back grudgingly, and Karin pointed at her bed with her customary bossiness. "Sit."
Sakura retreated into her less-than-satisfactory sleeping accommodation, flopping facedown into it and burying her head in the sheets. All the emotional exhaustion of the past day caught up to her in an instant, and she was reduced to pounding the bed with one fist, giving a long, frustrated sigh. "Ugh."
"So," Karin commented, drawing the word out longer than necessary. "By the look on his face, I would say that whatever you just pulled actually had some sort of impact on Sasucakes."
"…Don't call him that, Karin, it makes him homicidal. And," Sakura sighed again, rolling over to lie on her back and stare at the ceiling contemplatively. "I hope so."
"For your sake, I do too," Karin acknowledged, before returning to her book. "I just hope that Orochimaru-sama doesn't find out…"
"Come on," Sakura countered, turning her head to the side in order to give Karin a skeptical look. "What could he possibly do?"
For once, the expression in Karin's eyes was completely serious. "You don't want to know."
The stones were freezing against Kabuto's knees; the thick material of his dark pants proving no obstacle for the icy chill. He had his head lowered to the ground submissively, but his gaze was fixed on his master, and he hardly dared breathe.
It was only the years of servitude that enabled Kabuto to read the cold nuances of his master's expression as he turned away from the shimmery, unclear image of Sasuke standing outside of Sakura's room, staring blankly at the closed door. It seemed that Orochimaru was finally utilizing the tracker jutsu that he had executed on Sasuke four or five months ago, without the boy's knowledge, and Kabuto tried hard to suppress a wince. Things did not look good for—
Orochimaru's jaw clenched in silent frustration for a moment, and then he actually hissed like the snake he was, turning around and sending the bottle of sake on the nearby table to the floor with one aggressive swipe of his hand. The bottle collided with the floor, the glass shattering in a deafening shriek and the contents spilling everywhere. "That stupid, foolish, asinine girl," he whispered, a somewhat manic glint lighting his eyes, as his unnaturally long pink tongue whipped out to lick the corners of his mouth.
Kabuto flinched, as if the words physically hurt him. "Orochimaru-sama—"
Orochimaru turned on him, practically spitting venom. "Enough! I wanted to kill her from the beginning, but you – you insisted on saving her worthless, idiotic skin—"
"You asked for my honest opinion, Orochimaru-sama…"
Orochimaru waved his hand dismissively, before reaching up to rub his temples, obviously fighting to get his temper under control. "You obviously do not understand the problems that this causes me," he pronounced slowly, and as they always did when he was angry, the s's came out as pronounced snake hisses. "It has taken so long for me to get Sasuke-kun where he is right now…in the palm of my hand. I could have had him a week from now, or a month at most. But that pathetic excuse for a kunoichi has sowed the seeds of doubt in his mind, and Sasuke-kun is a difficult one – I do not know if I can bring him to that point again—"
His forked tongue darted out again, flickering for a moment before disappearing again. "Especially not with her around," Orochimaru spat. "Poisoning his mind against me; trying to bend him to her own will and her foolish ideals…I did not go to such great lengths to bring Sasuke-kun to me and cultivate him to this level, only to have a stupid little girl unravel my plan."
Kabuto bowed even deeper, his mind working frantically. "Orochimaru-sama, I will speak to Sakura tonight. She is a capable, loyal kunoichi and an exceptionally skilled medic-nin; she is just strong-willed and idealistic, and I have no doubt that I will help her see reason—"
"No," Orochimaru interrupted cruelly, shaking his head from side to side, and a crafty look stole over his eyes. "That girl will be trouble for Sasuke-kun and I for as long as she is around."
Even though his expression remained unchanged, Kabuto felt his heart drop somewhere into the region of his stomach.
Orochimaru's lips thinned even further, into a tiny smirk, and he turned away. "Ah, Kabuto, my most loyal servant," he nearly purred, the tone a sharp contrast to what it was earlier.
Kabuto closed his eyes, unable to believe it had come to this. "…Yes, Orochimaru-sama," he replied, feeling each word condemn him further.
Orochimaru glanced his way, and a truly sinister smile touched the corners of his eyes. "Kill her," he ordered silkily.
to be continued
Firstly, I think that I have decided to try to give this fic weekly updates. I apologize in advance if I might lapse, though – I just got my first college acceptance letter (!), and I still have a few more applications to complete in the next few weeks. It's really very busy on the home front.
Secondly, Itachi's in the next chapter, I absolutely promise. :) This story is just so AU that it needs a decent amount of development to keep it sounding cohesive. Also, thank you so much to the absolutely aaaaaaaamazing and very talented SwiftKick for her editing job! Those of you who haven't already should definitely check out her profile and give her stuff a read.
As always, any and all feedback would be very much appreciated!