The next morning Channon was awoken by the sound of someone knocking on the door. With a groan she got out of the bed and opened the door to see Phillip looking at her. She knew she must have looked awful. He smirked slightly not saying a word. After a moment of pure annoyance Channon had enough.

"What?"

Hearing the annoyance in her voice Phillip fought the urge to pull her into a kiss. Even though she looked like she had been through hell the woman was beautiful. Channon never was a morning person and anyone with half a brain tended to leave her alone until she was fully awake.

"Just wanted to make sure that you didn't kill yourself in the middle of the night."

Channon rolled her eyes pulling her messy black hair into a loose ponytail ignoring the way Phillip was looking at her.

"You kidding? I love myself too much to something like that. What do you want coming around here so early waking me up? Don't you realize I haven't slept in ages?"

Phillip looked down at his watch with a frown.

"It's half past noon."

Channon looked a little shocked. She must have been more tired than she thought.

"Well that's nice. So what do you need other than making sure I am not some suicidal nut job?"

Phillip shrugged.

"Well I didn't want to stoop to this level but I want to see if there is anything you can do to fix my eye. Dr. Stevens isn't too hopeful. You on the other hand….I've seen you fix some pretty bad stuff."

Channon fought the urge to say "yea right." If she could have fixed pretty bad stuff she would have saved Penny or Nick. She had the chance with Penny but she lost it. Nick there was no hope. No matter how good of a doctor she was Channon could not dig a bullet out of her brother's brain and expect him to be 100%.

"Sure why not. I don't have anything better to do now that I am stuck here in purgatory."

Phillip gave her an annoyed look before taking off the eye patch. The look on Channon's face as she looked him over right away didn't make Phillip feel too hopeful. Her fingers felt cool on his face as her hand went over his cheek. For the moment Phillip forgot all about how much pain she had caused him and wanted nothing more than to beg her to come back to him. The asshole in him however said that wasn't an option.

"So what do you think?"

Channon shook her head.

"What you need is Jesus and a miracle. I am neither. Even with proper medical equipment I don't think that can be fixed. Who did you piss off enough to do that to you?"

Channon had the strange want to find whoever did this and shake their hand before beating the crap out of them. Why the hell was she feeling so conflicted over her feelings for this man again? Hadn't she sworn off love all together after the last time? She couldn't let herself be that vulnerable again.

Phillip covered his now worthless eye before walking to the window.

"Her name was Michonne."

He heard Channon scoff behind him. Phillip knew without a doubt what she was thinking.

"Let me guess you slept with her fooled around with some other chick then there goes your eye?"

Phillip glanced at the vase on the little table beside him. If he threw it hard enough at Channon that could surely cause some damage. As fun as it sounded he didn't instead he turned to face Channon who was looking less than amused.

"Hell no. I wouldn't have slept with her if someone paid me."

Channon looked like she didn't believe him. Hell Phillip knew good and well she didn't believe him. She quickly pulled on the abandoned jeans that lay beside the bed.

"So tell me Phillip do you keep Penny locked up or does she wonder around here and scare the shit out of people?"

When he didn't answer Channon looked glanced in his direction. Phillip hadn't moved just stood motionless looking at the floor.

"She's dead."

Channon froze. That was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth! A feeling of deep sadness went through Channon. So Penny was gone now…for good.

"What happened?"

In ways she wanted to go to Phillip and hold onto him. This was a part of their past that would forever be painful for the both of them. Most of their past was painful but Penny was the worst. Phillip looked up shoving his hands in his pockets.

"That Michonne I was telling you about she killed Penny right in front of me."

Channon shook her head looking down muttering a few quiet curses before looking up at Phillip.

"I'm sorry."

Phillip nodded walking toward the door without another word. He had to get out of that room! There was no way he could stay a moment longer with Channon looking at him like that. Penny's memory was enough of a burden as it was now that Channon was here his heart felt like it was ripping open all over again.

"Phillip wait!"

Channon caught up to him right as he stepped outside. Her green eyes looked nervous as she grabbed his hand.

"Look about what I said in there. I'm really sorry. You know how much Penny meant to me."

The look on Phillip's face looked almost foreign to Channon. It was so obvious he was putting on some big charade to keep anyone from seeing how he really felt. This was what she hated. When something was bothering him he would put up walls all around him so no one could see what was going on.

"I know."

He said calmly glancing up and seeing Andrea who had appeared out of nowhere watching them like a hawk. With a frown he looked back to Channon.

"I got a supply run today. I'll see you later."

He turned walking the other direction not bothering to look back at Channon who looked horrified beyond all reason.

Channon didn't know what to say. She felt completely speechless. As much as she wanted to hate him at the moment she couldn't. She wasn't sure if she loved him completely anymore or not but he was still hers. It would take a lot…A LOT to convince her to ever give Phillip another chance but watching him in this condition killed her.

"love is one fucked up emotion."

Channon mumbled before turning and walking away. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't even notice some blond woman walk up to her.

"Hi I'm Andrea."

Channon looked up with a silent nod.

"Channon."

Andrea tried to smile some fake some. Channon knew right away it was all an act. Being around so many basket cases, drug addicts, and suicidal people at the hospital trained Channon well how to spot an actor.

"I just thought I would warn you seeing as you are new here stay away from The Governor. He's dangerous and a pretty girl like you doesn't need to be harmed."

Channon raised an eyebrow glancing back at Phillip who was now talking to Martinez. Both men were watching her and Andrea with interested expressions on their faces. She rolled her eyes looking back at Andrea.

"Well thanks for the FYI there blondie but trust me Phillip and I have met. This isn't my first rodeo with the man. Girl I get it. You're sleeping with him. Congratulations."

Without another word Channon walked away from Andrea not caring that she was giving her the biggest go to hell look around. What did it matter to Channon that Phillip spent their time apart in the arms of some blond chick? This was just how she imagined it being if she ever ran into him again. Even though it was expected why did Channon feel so hurt?

Later that afternoon Channon sat with Martinez while he was working on cleaning his gun. She didn't know why but the guy was actually growing on her. He wasn't much for conversation and neither was she but he was showing her a lot of new guns.

"So girly who made you all hostile toward the male race?"

Channon looked up at his question with a frown. Martinez hadn't looked up from his dismantled gun and honestly didn't even seem too interested in his question's answer.

"I'm not hostile toward anyone."

Martinez snorted.

"That's bull shit."

Channon shook her head not wanting to get into another argument today. One was enough! When she didn't say anything Martinez looked up.

"So what did Phillip do to you anyway?"

Channon's face went scarlet as she began to press her full lips together obviously furious at Martinez's question.

"What do you mean?"

Martinez sighed.

"Come on Channon I know who you are. I see how he looks at you and as hard as you try not to I see how you look at him. Not that it matters or anything. I just wondered what he did so horrible to make you so reclusive."

Channon laughed slightly not sure why she was so amused with Martinez now. Why should she tell him all of her dark business with Phillip?

"He didn't do anything to me. I've always been reclusive. I don't like people. Hell on my report card in school it always said does not play well with others…"

Martinez placed the gun he was working on aside and stood slowly.

"Hmm…interesting. The man carries your picture around like a set of damn rosary beads."

Channon wasn't quite for sure why she was sticking up for Phillip. He had caused her enough pain to deal someone a life time.

"Good for him."

She was so occupied with trying to assort her feelings for her ex that she didn't notice how "close" Martinez was to her now. To her surprise Channon made no move to stop him either.

"Boy you really don't care about him do you?"

Martinez asked huskily as he pressed her against the wall. His well-built body crammed hard against hers. This wasn't at all what Channon had planned on when Martinez had asked her earlier to look at guns with him. She figured he got the idea she was no girly girl and was trying to make nice for knocking her over the head the previous day. Normally she would have shoved him away by know and kicked him in the balls. For some reason though Channon let him kiss her the way Phillip would have. She didn't know if this was her revenge on Phillip or if it was just the urge to feel something human.

Martinez deepened the kiss gently sliding his tongue in her mouth. His rough hands worked their way from her hips to the hem of her shirt. Channon raised her arms letting him take the thin t-shirt off leaving her in only a white bra.

"How long has it been since someone touched you?"

He whispered pressing small kisses to her neck and shoulders. Channon whimpered as his erection began to dig in her leg. Was she ready for this with another man? Did it mean she had to love him? HELL NO! This could just be some booty call and if he was any good Channon would let him have her again.

"Quit yappin and get to work."

She hissed yanking at the buttons on his shirt. Martinez laughed slightly as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt letting it fall the floor. Channon looked him over carefully. The man was completely different from Phillip. Martinez was obviously one of those guys that lived to hang out at the gym.

Martinez didn't waste any time before undoing his pants and removing the rest of his clothes before sitting down. He looked at Channon with a grin. The girl was hot! He wanted her from the moment he saw her in the woods. What a shame it was when he found out she was Channon Parsons…the girl the Governor was looking for like crazy. Now however that she didn't seem to want the man Martinez was more than happy to fill in.

"Get the rest of those clothes off and get over here babe."

He whispered softly as Channon undid her bra and removed the rest of her clothing. After a moment Channon walked to him slowly. Martinez's dark brown eyes examined her body with the precision of an artist looking at a piece of art. He quickly reached up pulling Channon onto his lap for another long kiss.

"Now you gotta be quiet babe so no one will hear us. That's the last thing we need."

Channon nodded as he slipped two fingers inside her quickly. She tried not to gasp as he continued his assault on her body. He wasn't the least bit gentle and that was how Channon wanted it. She didn't want to "make love" to this man. All she wanted was furious, rough, passionate sex.

The moment he pushed into her it took all Channon had not to cry out. She focused on watching the muscles in his chest and stomach as he thrusted into her. Channon couldn't lie she thought Martinez with his body of a god was hot from the get go but this was intensifying what she thought about him. She, for the first time in ages, put Phillip completely out of her mind. It didn't matter that he was probably on blocks away from her or that she was fucking one of his guards. All that mattered was the man inside of her.

After both had finished Channon stood pulling on her clothes. She glanced over at Martinez who was pulling buttoning up his jeans with a smirk on his face. He looked up at her with a crooked smile.

"Damn baby that was the best I have had in a long time. So I do I get seconds on that?"

Channon smiled,

"Sure why not. One rule though big boy. No falling in love."

Martinez nodded looking pleased with her response.

"Love isn't real anyway. It just gets you killed."

Channon couldn't agree more. She yanked her shirt back on fixing her messy hair as best as possible. The last thing she needed was for someone to realize what they had been up to…Phillip especially.

"I couldn't agree more."

She turned and walked toward the door with a small satisfied smile on her face. Martinez watched her carefully as her hips swayed gracefully. She turned looking at him with a dark grin.

"Until next time."

He only smirked as she walked out the door without another word. Channon stepped out into the sunlight feeling better already. She wasn't ready to think about what she had just done. Deep down she knew she would be feeling guilty about it later when she saw Phillip again. But why was one of her many questions. Why should she feel guilty when Phillip was out screwing some blond bimbo? They had no ties anymore. All they shared was a past. Not a present but a dark, horrible, depressing past.

She looked up seeing Brian starting across the street at her. His face looked nervous.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been looking for you all morning."

Channon shrugged.

"Relax Brain. I slept until 12 when your dearest brother decided to drop by and pay me a visit."

Brian frowned.

"Please tell me you didn't."

Channon shook her head at Brian's expression of terror.

"Relax nothing happened with him….Martinez though is another story."

Brian looked shocked beyond all reason. He knew she was only telling him this because he was the only person Channon trusted. Brian looked up as Martinez stepped out of the building Channon came out of looking like nothing had happened.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me Channon! If you lookin for a way to make Phillip bat shit crazy you have found it! You know he will kill anyone that you go for…hell he will probably kill us too."

Channon held up her hand stopping Brian in mid speech.

"Brian relax it was just sex with Martinez. Seriously you should go find a girl around here and try it out. Well I think I am going to go for a bath or something. See ya buddy."

Brain sighed watching her walk off.

"Channon!"

She turned looking at him with a smile. Brian sighed nervously.

"Be careful!"

She nodded prancing off toward her room leaving Brian feeling more nervous than ever. He didn't know long she could keep this hidden from Phillip but Brian knew there would be hell to pay once his little brother found out.