Next chapter, on time as planned. Many thanks to Ravenja70, milady dragon, L.A.H.H., and gernumblies for reviewing. I may possibly write an extra chapter on Jack's calendar, since a few of you seem to be interested. We'll see.
Decorations & Mistletoe
Owen entered the Hub very cautiously when the great day of Judgement finally arrived, steeling himself to face whatever Tosh and Gwen had managed to come up with. He knew that they'd deliberately stayed late the night before in order to decorate, and that they'd even persuaded Jack and Ianto to help out. But when he came in through the cog door he couldn't see a single holly leaf or sliver of tinsel anywhere. He couldn't even see the others. He frowned; maybe he'd got the date wrong, or maybe they'd come to their senses. He walked over to examine Tosh's desk, but there was nothing. Unsure whether he should be pleased that everything was still normal or annoyed at his lost chance to whinge, Owen strode across to the medical bay.
"Bloody hell!"
There was barely an inch of the room that hadn't been festooned in tinsel, paper snowflakes, stars, waving santas, stars, paper chains, baubles and festive greenery, and to cap it all a huge banner was strung from the ceiling wishing him a Merry Christmas. As he gaped in horror at the awful sight someone turned on the Christmas music.
He turned round to see Gwen grinning broadly at him, flanked by a smirking Jack, a pleased-looking Tosh and an amused Ianto.
"You are all going to die!" Owen shouted furiously, grabbing the nearest thing to hand – a bowl of baubles. They all let him chase them round the Hub, laughing uproariously; and they continued to run round until they all collapsed on the floor in a giggling heap, being pelted with baubles.
***
One hectic half hour later they agreed to a truce – they would let Owen take the decorations in the medical bay down so long as he helped them put them back up elsewhere. Soon Owen was sullenly draping paper-chains across the Hub and watching the others decorate the rest of the room with various degrees of enthusiasm.
"We've never had it looking this good before!" said Tosh proudly as she stepped back to admire the fairy lights she'd just fixed.
"But we've never had two Christmas addicts lobbying for decorations before." Jack pointed out, even though he was secretly quite pleased with the way the Hub was looking. It looked much more friendly than normal now all the dark corners were illuminated.
"We're out of tinsel." Ianto reported as he made his last trip up from the medical bay. "And we're also out of stars, fairy lights, paper-chains and whatever other decorations you care to name."
Gwen sighed as she looked round the vast expanse of the Hub's interior. "There must be some more somewhere we can use. Or we could always buy some extras."
"We could always just leave it." Owen suggested in a voice that lacked all hope.
Jack and Ianto exchanged glances, and then Torchwood's resident archivist spoke up.
"We still have the old ones downstairs somewhere. I'll go see what we've got."
He returned shortly, dumping another huge box on the floor in front of Gwen. "That should do for the rest of the Hub."
He and Jack raised their eyebrows at each other at the girls' exclamations of delight upon opening the box, along with Owen's all too obvious groans.
***
Tosh looked curiously across at Jack, who was leaning beside the cog door in an incredibly nonchalant fashion. "What's he doing?" she asked.
"He's hidden a piece of mistletoe just above the doorway." replied Owen in disgust. "Look."
As he spoke Gwen approached the door, all bundled up ready to go outside and face the cold December wind, only to be stopped by Jack. Owen watched in amusement as Jack gestured to the tiny bunch of mistletoe above his head, then grabbed Gwen as she followed his gaze upwards. Gwen screamed in surprise and ran out of the doorway, closely pursued by a laughing Jack.
Owen snorted. "I think I'll take the lift out. But I suppose you'll be going out past your boss, eh Teaboy?" He turned to Ianto.
"Actually, I was going to stay here for a bit and finish off with these." Ianto indicated the now mostly empty box. "And don't be scared to go out by the front door Owen – Jack's not keen on necrophilia."
"Yeah, but he'll bloody well take a pass at anything else." muttered Owen under his breath. "You coming, Tosh?"
"Er, yeah." Tosh finished wrapping her scarf round her neck and followed Owen over to the lift. In a rare show of being a gentleman Owen offered her his arm as she hopped on.
Tosh let out a slight giggle as the lift rose. "Oh! He's put some here too."
Owen looked up at the offending piece of greenery. "God; that man never stops." He paused for a moment. "Still, I suppose it is traditional."
The paving slab above their heads moved aside, taking the mistletoe with it. "Does it still count if you're above the mistletoe?" Tosh wondered aloud.
"Yes." Said Owen decisively, glad that he hadn't let Jack take all the mistletoe.
***
"Where have the other two gone?" Jack asked Ianto as he strolled back into the Hub.
"They saw what you did to Gwen and decided to leave by the lift." Ianto finished pinning up the last string of reindeer and turned to face Jack. "Though I suspect the piece of mistletoe Owen had hidden there might also have something to do with it."
Jack nodded happily as Ianto continued; "And speaking of mistletoe there seems to be a huge bunch of it suspended above your desk."
"Is there?" replied Jack in mock surprise. "Show me."
Ianto rolled his eyes and led Jack to his office. "There sir."
"So there is. And do you know what that means, Ianto Jones?"
***
Gwen bounced into her flat and hugged Rhys from behind.
"Don't say anything." He warned. "I can guess. It's going to be something like 'Oh, I'm sorry I'm late Rhys, but there was this alien that was trying to eat everyone in Cardiff.'"
"But I'm early!" Gwen protested.
"I know that, you daft thing! So, what was it?"
"Well, there was this very dangerous object we found…"
"Hmm?"
"… so I sneaked it home whilst Jack wasn't looking."
Rhys raised his eyebrows at his wife. "And what is this very dangerous alien thing that you've decided to bring home?"
Gwen grinned and pulled the mistletoe out of her pocket.
***
"Tradition says," Ianto informed Jack a few minutes later, "that you're supposed to remove a berry after each kiss. When the berries run out, so have the kisses."
Jack counted. "That's twenty-two more."
"Nineteen." Ianto corrected, removing a few.
"Nineteen." sighed Jack. "I hate tradition."
"What about the other bunches?"
"The one on the lift has probably been used up, and I gave Gwen the other one to take home. But back where I come from we've got this wonderful tradition about paper snowflakes…"
That was a chapter for all the people who've ever asked for more Jack/Ianto or Tosh/Owen, and for all the people who do want to see it but don't want to admit it. I hope that'll keep you all happy for a while.
Next time: the tree.