"Aonghas! Aonghas!"
Ugh. Who could be whining and pounding on my door at this insufferable hour?
"What?" I yell, shoving my pillow over my head, "Who the hell is this?!"
Who do they think I am, some commoner that can be disturbed whenever? I am to be king! I deserve some respect, at the very least!
"It's your brother, Callum!"
"Callum, pounding on doors and disrupting the peace?" I mock, mostly because I'm tired, "Has the world gone mad?"
"Father needs all four of us in his chambers, immediately!"
"What is so important that it couldn't wait until morning?" I grumble.
"What was that?"
"I'll be there in a minute!" Ugh. If this conversation is anything like the last one, I have been woken up and disturbed for absolutely nothing. Again.
I shove the door open in a huff and nearly knock over Callum. I want to say something angry, but he just walks down the hall, as if he expects me to follow him. Who does he think he is? I follow him anyways, though, just because I'm too tired and irritated to do anything. I will scold him later. At least nobody is around to see something this humiliating.
Our father is in his bed, as frail and meek as ever. Some servants stand nearby, and Druhan and Caedmon are kneeling next to him. Callum takes his place next to my other two brothers, but I stand in the back, glowering.
"My sons," our father states, his voice weak, "I am afraid my time has come to leave this world." What? No. He is an old man, but he must still have some time.
But you will now be king!
Yes. I am the oldest and strongest, and I will support the kingdom and my brothers through this. I will mourn the loss of my father, but show no weakness, for it is my duty.
"Father…" Callum protests.
"You have known this day was coming," our father reminds him, "Ever since this blasted fever…" He is interrupted by a spurt of coughing.
"As you know, I have spoken with each of you individually over the past two days," he continues. He has? So I wasn't the only one who had to deal with that useless small talk?
"Your mother would have been proud to see how her boys have grown up," he smiles as tears glaze his eyes, "Never has there been a better warrior than our Aonghas, a more fair and just man than Druhan, a human as compassionate, kind, and forgiving as Callum, nor a wiser scholar than Caedmon. Together, the four of you have exceeded all that I have tried to accomplish in my life."
"You are loved by the people of this kingdom, father," Callum declares, "Never has there been a better ruler, nor a better father."
"Thank you, Callum," he says kindly, "But neither a king nor father could not wish for more when it comes to the four of you. The kingdom will flourish under the rule of my sons, more so than it has under my own ruling." Wait, what is he saying…? No, he can't possibly mean…
"A kingdom cannot solely stand on strength, fairness, kindness, or knowledge," he continues, "But with these four qualities combined under the leadership of the four of you…"
"Father," I interrupt, trying to stay somewhat composed even though I'm panicking and ready to kill the servants and make my brothers swear I am the one and only king, "I am your oldest son! Your heir! It is my responsibility, my birthright!" My father stares at me.
"Aonghas, I know you must feel cheated…" Of course I feel cheated! I am cheated! Does he expect me to just share the throne?
"But the combined gifts that you and your brothers possess will help build an even greater kingdom."
"But father, you can't do this! I…"
"Aonghas!" Caedmon interrupts, "This is no time for greed and envy!" What? I am not greedy, and I am certainly not jealous. I only want what is rightfully mine!
"Do you really want to disrespect our father's last wish?" Druhan whispers hoarsely. No, but it would help if the last wish was something less preposterous.
"We shouldn't argue and fight over petty issues at this hour, not when our father…" Callum chokes out. This is not a petty issue! This is about me and my throne! They can't do this to me!
"Please, Aonghas," Father begs, "Make peace with this. Don't shatter this bond with your brothers. I promise you, it will not be worth it. This is for the best, and we will all benefit from this union." No, we will not benefit! I won't be the king, and my father will be dead.
My father will be dead. The weight of those words sink in. I will no longer have a father. I can't let these last moments be in anger, even if I am right and he is wrong.
"As you wish, father," I agree, trying not to cry like my younger brothers. Father said so himself, I am strong. I will carry this burden and not be as fragile and weak as my brothers. There now is only peace in our father's eyes as he looks at us.
"Thank you, my sons," he whispers. There is no special moment, no last defining exhale, just nothing. He is simply gone.
••••
The funeral was held the next night. The day went by in a blur. I saw everything, I did everything, but none of it truly stuck. I made the announcement that our father the king was dead. Druhan spoke of his honor. Callum told how he would be missed. Caedmon then revealed how the four of us would rule as one. Even though I agreed to this in front of my father, I still have resentment boiling in my stomach.
Good.
My father's body is clothed in a beautiful, intricate shroud, and his crown placed upon his head.
You will not cry.
He is set in the wooden boat that will carry him into the next life.
You are weak.
I fire the first arrow, which is followed by my brothers.
Stop crying, you fool.
The boat, stuffed with dried straw, easily catches fire.
This is anger, not sadness.
It floats down the water on a steady path, burning like a small sun.
Don't mistake the two.
I am without a kingdom, without my pride, and without a father. I am alone.
You will not cry. You will be strongest of them all. Just wait.
••••
This kingdom will be mine.